Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
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Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Tue Aug 31, 2010 11:41 am
Kougu glanced up at Charlie’s words, watching her attentively for a mere fraction of a second before a sudden jolt in his memory caused a tingling on his hand that made him want to plunge it into a bucket of boiling water. Good thing there wasn’t one anywhere nearby, since he had been known to take even his own thoughts too literally before… Of course, if he burned himself that badly, he would probably be able to peel his own flesh from the bone easier than one might peel a banana, and he was not too keen to try something like that. He had never been particularly fond of the more gory and grisly parts of life, despite the evidence to the contrary… And boy was there evidence. Far too much of it for his liking… The number of times he had been forced to clean a room after an assassination, behead a man with his own hands… Oh hell, he certainly didn’t want to think about that! Wasn’t he crazy enough already without intentionally redirecting his train of thought to his ‘childhood beheading’ simply because it seemed more tolerable than thinking about the fact that he had recently t- Oh hell. Had he actually done that…? He had been hoping it was just a daydream, but at the same time, something so risky, horrific and terrifying would never occur in his daydreams. Besides, he didn’t exist in his daydreams, so the thought of finding himself there, especially doing something as random and highly unlikely as actually touching Charlie, was downright absurd and illogical. Check that, it wasn’t even possible. Well, that settled it then. Wait, what matter was he settling again? Rewind… Oh, yes! Had that really happened? But wait… If it hadn’t been a daydream, which really he had known all along it wasn’t, then that meant… It had actually happened.
Kougu blinked in sudden surprise, finding himself staring at his own feet. He gradually allowed his gaze to ascend, but then turned and stared pointedly away when Charlie’s profile entered his line of sight. Okay, it was probably not a good idea to treat her like some sort of Martian, since this had been his… But wait, had it been a mistake? He had thought it over carefully, so surely it had not, but then why did Charlie seem nervous? He glanced at her again, his tongue darting nervously over his lips. Had he hurt her? He hadn’t hurt her, had he…? He was sure he hadn’t… Had he scared her? That seemed more likely, but at the same time, she had always been stubbornly ignorant to the threat he posed before – why should that perspective have changed now? Should he apologise…? Wait, no, he was over thinking this again! Time to dial down the crazy before he had another freak out, which he feared he was dangerously close to doing. Okay, so he had touched her shoulder. It was no big deal, right? He had felt the need to do that before, to comfort her, only he hadn’t had the courage… Now he had managed it, so that meant… Wait, what did that mean? Oh, who was he kidding. He already knew. It meant the same thing that he had been trying to ignore since he had come to the conclusion that he didn’t want her to leave. It meant that he was losing vigilance rapidly, and even beginning to touch on the edges of recklessness. He should have known better by now… He couldn’t trust himself. He couldn’t! He was only lying to himself now… But wait – he had warned Charlie. He had warned her, so she was aware of the risk! She chose to take it anyway, so was it really that dangerous and selfish of him to begin to enjoy spending time with her? Perhaps a little unwise, but not so… Unforgivable. All right, now he had drifted way too far into his mind. He was over thinking everything again, just to avoid dwelling on what had happened, no, what he had done. It was time to calm down and deal with it.
Kougu took a deep breath, steadying himself, then jerked his head up as Charlie spoke. “Right, erm... shall we go?” She asked, and Kougu could detect what he thought was a note of forced lightness in her tone, as though she was desperately attempting to avoid showing the awkwardness that they were clearly both feeling. Well, if that was the case, he was sorry to say that she was failing rather dismally. Then again, he could hardly blame her. He would have reacted far, far worse if somebody had tou- Wait… Wait, what was she doing?! She was moving now – walking towards him. She was getting closer! Kougu felt panic wash over him like a cold sweat, and then Charlie had brushed past him and left the shop. However, as her shoulder touched briefly against his own, his panic escalated to boiling point. For a moment that might have been a decade, Kougu blacked out completely. He leaped away from her, then stood, trembling slightly, as his dark hair hid all expression on his bowed head – covering his face completely. A brief second later, his mind slowly clicked into action again. Like a robot being awoken from ‘standby’ mode, Kougu slowly raised his head and blinked with a bemused expression before awkwardly dusting himself off and leaving the shop – taking care to constantly maintain the ‘emotional filter’ with which he had masked his face. His pale features were blank, his dark eyes shuttered. He had closed himself off again, and was clearly not intending to allow Charlie, or anybody else for that matter, to breach his defences and witness what was going through his mind. He had been letting himself become too comfortable with Charlie recently… He had been letting her see through those walls. It was a risky business, a dangerous business… Better to avoid… Better to isolate himself – even when he was with her.
Kougu suddenly jumped as he realised that Charlie was leaving without him. He scampered out of the shop after her, still keeping a fair distance between them. Okay, so he had managed to breach his mental barrier once, but that didn’t mean his ‘personal space bubble’ had suddenly popped and vanished, did it? Nope, not a chance. If anything, he was more aware of it than before.
Stepping timidly, Kougu walked after Charlie with his eyes locked on the ground. He felt he needed to say something to break the palpable tension building between them, since it had originally been his fault in any case, but he simply could not muster the courage to say anything… “I’m sorry.” Kougu blurted out suddenly, wincing as he immediately began mentally berating himself for his lapse in silence. “I- I didn’t think… Or maybe I thought too much…” Kougu mumbled, starting off with an awkward tone that faded into thoughtfulness as he automatically attempted to decipher the answer. Unable to find one, he shrugged it off and attempted to continue, but he could think of nothing else to say. It was not the first time words had failed him, not by a long shot, but it certainly seemed the most awkward… “I… Sorry…” He mumbled again, glancing at the ground before looking away, his face still showing only a little more emotion than a brick wall.
Kougu winced as pain suddenly knifed through his head, no doubt conjured up by his endless tension, panic and goodness knows what else he had gone through because of his little ‘moment’. To think that all of it had stemmed from a simple misunderstanding… Kougu felt his jaw clench as the pain intensified, and he suppressed a moan before extracting his tub of pills from his pocket. Glad of the excuse to take his attention off Charlie, and practically forget about her for that matter, Kougu shook a handful of pills onto his hand and stared at them for a moment. As usual, his endless mental battle resumed and Kougu found himself attempting to reason with himself, which was just as pointless as usual, since he seldom listened to himself… And of course, with all that, he simply confused himself. All the same, just because he felt like he wanted a hole in the ground to open and swallow him up, didn’t mean he actually needed to create a hole in his mind to swallow him up… That would only make it more awkward when he woke up. A LOT more awkward! As such, that was not a solution, but a stall. Finally, a sharp stab of pain interrupted Kougu’s thoughts, and he tossed a couple of pills into his mouth without thinking – swallowing them instantly. He came to an abrupt standstill, frowning in slight concern at the tub in his hand. ‘Oops…” He muttered quietly, scratching his head thoughtfully before dropping the tub of pills back into his pocket. He was relatively certain that he had now taken too many, since he had already taken some back at the house, not to mention on his way out here, and now another 2… Strictly speaking, he was only supposed to take 2 pills every 3 hours. This probably would not have a good end result… Then again… At least it had proved a distraction from the predicament at hand. He only hoped Charlie wasn’t too upset with him… He had thought she wouldn’t mind, after all. It had seemed that way before… He shook off the thoughts, not keen to allow his mind to stray along that overly thoughtful path yet again.
Suddenly, a faint sound caught Kougu’s attention and he threw a cautious glance back over his shoulder – his senses strained to the max as he tried to detect further evidence of motion. He waited for a moment, but nothing came. Had he imagined it…? He supposed that might be the effect of the pills… Though technically they could not have taken effect yet, could they? The pain in his head was still there, after all… No, he had definitely heard something. Kougu frowned in the general direction of the sound a while longer, but when nothing happened he simply shrugged and kept walking. It was probably just a rat… It was no secret that he could be incredibly paranoid at times. He ought not to take himself so seriously…
Kougu blinked in sudden surprise, finding himself staring at his own feet. He gradually allowed his gaze to ascend, but then turned and stared pointedly away when Charlie’s profile entered his line of sight. Okay, it was probably not a good idea to treat her like some sort of Martian, since this had been his… But wait, had it been a mistake? He had thought it over carefully, so surely it had not, but then why did Charlie seem nervous? He glanced at her again, his tongue darting nervously over his lips. Had he hurt her? He hadn’t hurt her, had he…? He was sure he hadn’t… Had he scared her? That seemed more likely, but at the same time, she had always been stubbornly ignorant to the threat he posed before – why should that perspective have changed now? Should he apologise…? Wait, no, he was over thinking this again! Time to dial down the crazy before he had another freak out, which he feared he was dangerously close to doing. Okay, so he had touched her shoulder. It was no big deal, right? He had felt the need to do that before, to comfort her, only he hadn’t had the courage… Now he had managed it, so that meant… Wait, what did that mean? Oh, who was he kidding. He already knew. It meant the same thing that he had been trying to ignore since he had come to the conclusion that he didn’t want her to leave. It meant that he was losing vigilance rapidly, and even beginning to touch on the edges of recklessness. He should have known better by now… He couldn’t trust himself. He couldn’t! He was only lying to himself now… But wait – he had warned Charlie. He had warned her, so she was aware of the risk! She chose to take it anyway, so was it really that dangerous and selfish of him to begin to enjoy spending time with her? Perhaps a little unwise, but not so… Unforgivable. All right, now he had drifted way too far into his mind. He was over thinking everything again, just to avoid dwelling on what had happened, no, what he had done. It was time to calm down and deal with it.
Kougu took a deep breath, steadying himself, then jerked his head up as Charlie spoke. “Right, erm... shall we go?” She asked, and Kougu could detect what he thought was a note of forced lightness in her tone, as though she was desperately attempting to avoid showing the awkwardness that they were clearly both feeling. Well, if that was the case, he was sorry to say that she was failing rather dismally. Then again, he could hardly blame her. He would have reacted far, far worse if somebody had tou- Wait… Wait, what was she doing?! She was moving now – walking towards him. She was getting closer! Kougu felt panic wash over him like a cold sweat, and then Charlie had brushed past him and left the shop. However, as her shoulder touched briefly against his own, his panic escalated to boiling point. For a moment that might have been a decade, Kougu blacked out completely. He leaped away from her, then stood, trembling slightly, as his dark hair hid all expression on his bowed head – covering his face completely. A brief second later, his mind slowly clicked into action again. Like a robot being awoken from ‘standby’ mode, Kougu slowly raised his head and blinked with a bemused expression before awkwardly dusting himself off and leaving the shop – taking care to constantly maintain the ‘emotional filter’ with which he had masked his face. His pale features were blank, his dark eyes shuttered. He had closed himself off again, and was clearly not intending to allow Charlie, or anybody else for that matter, to breach his defences and witness what was going through his mind. He had been letting himself become too comfortable with Charlie recently… He had been letting her see through those walls. It was a risky business, a dangerous business… Better to avoid… Better to isolate himself – even when he was with her.
Kougu suddenly jumped as he realised that Charlie was leaving without him. He scampered out of the shop after her, still keeping a fair distance between them. Okay, so he had managed to breach his mental barrier once, but that didn’t mean his ‘personal space bubble’ had suddenly popped and vanished, did it? Nope, not a chance. If anything, he was more aware of it than before.
Stepping timidly, Kougu walked after Charlie with his eyes locked on the ground. He felt he needed to say something to break the palpable tension building between them, since it had originally been his fault in any case, but he simply could not muster the courage to say anything… “I’m sorry.” Kougu blurted out suddenly, wincing as he immediately began mentally berating himself for his lapse in silence. “I- I didn’t think… Or maybe I thought too much…” Kougu mumbled, starting off with an awkward tone that faded into thoughtfulness as he automatically attempted to decipher the answer. Unable to find one, he shrugged it off and attempted to continue, but he could think of nothing else to say. It was not the first time words had failed him, not by a long shot, but it certainly seemed the most awkward… “I… Sorry…” He mumbled again, glancing at the ground before looking away, his face still showing only a little more emotion than a brick wall.
Kougu winced as pain suddenly knifed through his head, no doubt conjured up by his endless tension, panic and goodness knows what else he had gone through because of his little ‘moment’. To think that all of it had stemmed from a simple misunderstanding… Kougu felt his jaw clench as the pain intensified, and he suppressed a moan before extracting his tub of pills from his pocket. Glad of the excuse to take his attention off Charlie, and practically forget about her for that matter, Kougu shook a handful of pills onto his hand and stared at them for a moment. As usual, his endless mental battle resumed and Kougu found himself attempting to reason with himself, which was just as pointless as usual, since he seldom listened to himself… And of course, with all that, he simply confused himself. All the same, just because he felt like he wanted a hole in the ground to open and swallow him up, didn’t mean he actually needed to create a hole in his mind to swallow him up… That would only make it more awkward when he woke up. A LOT more awkward! As such, that was not a solution, but a stall. Finally, a sharp stab of pain interrupted Kougu’s thoughts, and he tossed a couple of pills into his mouth without thinking – swallowing them instantly. He came to an abrupt standstill, frowning in slight concern at the tub in his hand. ‘Oops…” He muttered quietly, scratching his head thoughtfully before dropping the tub of pills back into his pocket. He was relatively certain that he had now taken too many, since he had already taken some back at the house, not to mention on his way out here, and now another 2… Strictly speaking, he was only supposed to take 2 pills every 3 hours. This probably would not have a good end result… Then again… At least it had proved a distraction from the predicament at hand. He only hoped Charlie wasn’t too upset with him… He had thought she wouldn’t mind, after all. It had seemed that way before… He shook off the thoughts, not keen to allow his mind to stray along that overly thoughtful path yet again.
Suddenly, a faint sound caught Kougu’s attention and he threw a cautious glance back over his shoulder – his senses strained to the max as he tried to detect further evidence of motion. He waited for a moment, but nothing came. Had he imagined it…? He supposed that might be the effect of the pills… Though technically they could not have taken effect yet, could they? The pain in his head was still there, after all… No, he had definitely heard something. Kougu frowned in the general direction of the sound a while longer, but when nothing happened he simply shrugged and kept walking. It was probably just a rat… It was no secret that he could be incredibly paranoid at times. He ought not to take himself so seriously…
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:45 am
[[Sorry, I got a little carried away xD]]
“I'm sorry” I heard Kougu apologizing behind me, and once again I had no idea why. But really, I was in too good a mood to care. He'd just done something he'd not dared to do for a long time and now he was apologizing for it? Why? “I- I didn’t think… Or maybe I thought too much…” I continued walking, although now the smile on my face was broadening more and more until it nearly hurt. Happiness was something I didn't experience so much nowadays, since I could never really find much to smile about. But now, now I had such a stupid grin moulded into my face I couldn't seem to get rid of it. Why was I so happy? Why was I so... Wait, why did I even care? I hadn't felt this good since before the accident, and it had been so easy to turn my mood. So easy... My lips parted from my smile and I let out a squeaky, high-pitched giggle. I hadn't felt this good in years. I mean, it was like I had a flock of butterflies or whatever in my stomach. But instead of feeling nervous, I was over the moon. I was...I was happy. I was happy, and I didn't even know why! My head rolled back as I let out a loud outburst of laughter, as if shouting to the sun to shine brighter in the sky. It was early afternoon now, so it was shining at it's peak. It burned my eyes, just to look at it, but I just felt like it wasn't bright enough. I'd never been too fond of the sun, until now. It was...it was like it knew how happy I was. It was then I realised where the nursery rhyme 'The sun has got it's hat on' had actually come from. Wow, whoever wrote that must have been on something if they were that high. Come to think of it, people looking at me might have though I was on something. I was laughing over practically nothing, for goodness' sake! “I...Sorry...” Kougu was saying behind me, and to my surprise he sounded rather ashamed of what he'd done. Why? Why?? I was over the moon. He shouldn't have been apologizing for making me feel good. Did he even know how great I was feeling? “Kougu, it's alright. It's fine” I said calmly, the smile still plastered on my face. I was probably scaring him now, since he'd never seen me like this. Really I should have stopped, but I couldn't help it. I felt great! An old lady passed us on the opposite side of the road, and I could see the look on her face as she saw me grinning, when Kougu behind me wasn't perhaps quite so happy about it. Yeah, look at me all you want, grandma. I couldn't care less. You judge me, you hate me, you think of me as the criminal youth of the present day. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care less what anyone thought of me now. I'm over the moon! I shook my head at my own stupid thinking, glancing back over to the old lady opposite us. She was still looking at me funny. I rolled my eyes in amusement, deciding to keep walking. Let her judge me, let her hate me. She wasn't the only one out there who despised me. Feeling myself calm down slightly, I took a deep breath, turning back to Kougu. “Really, don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. I...I'm sorry for overreacting. You probably think I've gone insane...” At the thought, I found myself giggling again. Oh yes, I was insane alright. It was like someone had given me bucket-loads of sugar and now I was so hyper I couldn't help but smile. But I was probably scaring Kougu. I should stop now... But I couldn't. I simply couldn't. So why bother trying?
Kougu retrieved something from his pocket and I peered down, curious of what it might have been. Hearing the quiet rattling of the pills in the tiny pot, I got my answer, and I nodded in recognition. Of course. His medication. But I couldn't help but feel the warmth inside my stomach sink into nothingness, and the smile was suddenly vanished from my face. I'd seen that pot far too many times today. Why did he have to take his medication so often? Was it just pain killers or was it something more? What was wrong with him? I chewed miserably on my tongue, my gaze slipping to the tarmac floor before us. I'd seen a little pill box like that before, in the hands of someone who I once knew. Once...
There was a thud and a faint whimper as the middle-aged woman towered over her daughter, her eyes like daggers stabbing into the heart of the young girl before her. Her hands intertwined with each other, as she rubbed the back of her red hand, which had sooner made contact once again with the jaw of the little girl, and the stinging had still not yet gone away. She didn't know why she was wasting her time on the child, as she wasn't going to learn her lesson with just a slap on the cheek, was she? This was the third time that week they'd gone through this, why wasn't she learning? The stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl. “You said you'd have the hundred pounds by four-thirty. Where is it? I don't see it” She ordered, her voice as cold as the actions she took. The child had failed, again. She could see it in her pathetic face. She'd been caught,
The girl curled up on the floor, protecting her face and stomach from any more blows her mother was ready to send towards her. She'd learned to stay on the floor and take whatever attack was thrown at her, as she would only face a far worse punishment if she tried to run away. Tears streamed down her hot cheeks, and she tried so desperately to wipe them away. But it was impossible. It hurt. It hurt so much.
“The cameras...”The girl started, her voice barely audible as she tried to stop it from shaking so. “There were too many of them. I couldn't get there without being caught. I tried...” She was cut off as a sandalled foot hit her hard in the stomach. She clenched her teeth, bringing her knees to her chest. Stop, please stop. It hurts...
“Try harder” Her mother hissed, grabbing her hair and dragging her to her feet. “You will try again tonight, and you will keep trying until I get my money. You won't sleep, you won't be fed until I say you deserve it” The girl clenched her teeth, forcing back a cry of pain as she was forced down stairs to the closet underneath the staircase. No please... not in there. Anywhere but there... The girl begged, but she knew she wouldn't make a difference, even if she had said it out loud. Her hair was pulled back towards her mother, and she whimpered weakly, letting her head roll back to look into the blood-curdling gaze of her mother.
“Your to stay here until I get back” The girl swallowed, her glassy eyes flickering from side to side in attempt to shake off the face her hair was about to get ripped off her head, or the tingling feeling in her cheek, or the throbbing in her stomach. No such look.
“W-where are you going?” she stuttered weakly, before she was thrown into the small cupboard, falling straight onto her pelvis. She winced, just in time for the door to be shut and the small bar to be slided into place. She was locked in.
“Out” her mother answered simply, turning away from the closet towards the front room, and picked up a small white plastic box, containing a selection of green and white pills. The girl pressed her face towards the gap beside the hinges and wrinkled her sweating brow. Her mother hadn't been known to take medicine before now, other than for her migraines. It certainly didn't look like something from the doctor. The woman filled a glass of water and swallowed two of the green tablets, then one of the white ones. She looked down at the pills, nodding in satisfaction.
“Frank was right, they do make you feel better” she muttered, placing the pot back down on the tabletop and grabbed her back. She thumped rather loudly on the closet door, causing it to rattle effectively and made the girl jump. She gasped, jumping back on her rear and looked up at the woman through the gap with wide, fearful eyes.
“Keep your gob shut until I get back. I don't want any more bother from you, young lady”
And with that, she was gone, leaving her daughter shut in the blackness of the shadows she would be consumed in until the next sunrise, where she would no doubt have the same thing happen to her again. But the one thing that was haunting her mind, the one memory she had of that night, the thing that held the blame for all her pain, was that little white box.
I inhaled deeply for a moment, trying to force my breathing to return to a steady rhythm. But I couldn't help but think about that small plastic tub mother had used that night, to supposedly get rid of her pain and make her feel better. I'd only been eleven at the time, and I'd suffered severe bruising around my ribs. But of course it meant nothing if mum didn't get her pills. It meant nothing if she didn't feel better. Did the pills work? Oh yeah, they worked, alright. They worked far too well. She was high for the next few hours, then she'd take a few more pills. It seemed to take care of her well enough. Until that is, she ran out.
Of course it hadn't been Kougu back then, it had been before I knew him. My lips parted and I let out a sudden humourless chuckle. I made it sound like I'd known him for far longer than I actually had. In reality I still barely knew him, since he didn't seem to want to tell me anything I wanted to know. He was still a stranger to me. In fact, I knew so little about him, I'd been lying to myself the whole time. Why had I thought I'd known him? He took a couple of pills from the pot and swallowed them dry, and I let my eyes trail over the rattling pot, every minute, every second of that single memory haunting my brain. It was one of those I wished I could forget, the night she was at the pub and I was locked in the cold, and the dark for a good eight or nine hours in a row. I looked down, suddenly feeling a lump suddenly creeping up my throat. I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to remember what I went through that day. I didn't want to cry... Kougu looked up and I could see his head twitching behind us, like there was something he'd sensed, or heard. I frowned, turning my head to follow his gaze, but I hadn't heard anything. Perhaps he was just paranoid. I sighed and began to walk, but then a faint noise came from behind us, and I stopped. Kougu was looking more aware now, and I knew he'd heard it too. So we weren't imagining it. I slowly stepped past him to see what was going on, and suddenly a voice hit my attention.
“Do my eyes deceive me?” I frowned. That wasn't... It sounded like the voice of...
“Atkinson! Thought you were in the slammer” Really? What makes you think that? Oh yeah, because I told him I was handing myself in. That was a mistake. Jimmy Mackintosh and his crew of sharks... Huh, more like piranha. And they were heading towards us, at a fast pace. Jimmy's face was creased into a sly smile, and his eyes were a rich dark chocolate, looking almost black in the shadow of his dark hood. He was looking at me...right at me. Great, what did I owe him this time? My eyes widened as I turned back to Kougu. He had to get out of there, before he did something we'd both regret. “Kougu, go home” I said firmly, although I doubted he even knew where we were. “Just go home, I'll see you later...hopefully” Probably not. I'd be either dead or close to it before these guys were done with me. But he was vulnerable now. Anything could get to him, especially Jimmy. Jimmy got to everyone. But I couldn't have anyone dying on my account. Not today. “Kougu, home. Now”
“I'm sorry” I heard Kougu apologizing behind me, and once again I had no idea why. But really, I was in too good a mood to care. He'd just done something he'd not dared to do for a long time and now he was apologizing for it? Why? “I- I didn’t think… Or maybe I thought too much…” I continued walking, although now the smile on my face was broadening more and more until it nearly hurt. Happiness was something I didn't experience so much nowadays, since I could never really find much to smile about. But now, now I had such a stupid grin moulded into my face I couldn't seem to get rid of it. Why was I so happy? Why was I so... Wait, why did I even care? I hadn't felt this good since before the accident, and it had been so easy to turn my mood. So easy... My lips parted from my smile and I let out a squeaky, high-pitched giggle. I hadn't felt this good in years. I mean, it was like I had a flock of butterflies or whatever in my stomach. But instead of feeling nervous, I was over the moon. I was...I was happy. I was happy, and I didn't even know why! My head rolled back as I let out a loud outburst of laughter, as if shouting to the sun to shine brighter in the sky. It was early afternoon now, so it was shining at it's peak. It burned my eyes, just to look at it, but I just felt like it wasn't bright enough. I'd never been too fond of the sun, until now. It was...it was like it knew how happy I was. It was then I realised where the nursery rhyme 'The sun has got it's hat on' had actually come from. Wow, whoever wrote that must have been on something if they were that high. Come to think of it, people looking at me might have though I was on something. I was laughing over practically nothing, for goodness' sake! “I...Sorry...” Kougu was saying behind me, and to my surprise he sounded rather ashamed of what he'd done. Why? Why?? I was over the moon. He shouldn't have been apologizing for making me feel good. Did he even know how great I was feeling? “Kougu, it's alright. It's fine” I said calmly, the smile still plastered on my face. I was probably scaring him now, since he'd never seen me like this. Really I should have stopped, but I couldn't help it. I felt great! An old lady passed us on the opposite side of the road, and I could see the look on her face as she saw me grinning, when Kougu behind me wasn't perhaps quite so happy about it. Yeah, look at me all you want, grandma. I couldn't care less. You judge me, you hate me, you think of me as the criminal youth of the present day. I couldn't care less. I couldn't care less what anyone thought of me now. I'm over the moon! I shook my head at my own stupid thinking, glancing back over to the old lady opposite us. She was still looking at me funny. I rolled my eyes in amusement, deciding to keep walking. Let her judge me, let her hate me. She wasn't the only one out there who despised me. Feeling myself calm down slightly, I took a deep breath, turning back to Kougu. “Really, don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. I...I'm sorry for overreacting. You probably think I've gone insane...” At the thought, I found myself giggling again. Oh yes, I was insane alright. It was like someone had given me bucket-loads of sugar and now I was so hyper I couldn't help but smile. But I was probably scaring Kougu. I should stop now... But I couldn't. I simply couldn't. So why bother trying?
Kougu retrieved something from his pocket and I peered down, curious of what it might have been. Hearing the quiet rattling of the pills in the tiny pot, I got my answer, and I nodded in recognition. Of course. His medication. But I couldn't help but feel the warmth inside my stomach sink into nothingness, and the smile was suddenly vanished from my face. I'd seen that pot far too many times today. Why did he have to take his medication so often? Was it just pain killers or was it something more? What was wrong with him? I chewed miserably on my tongue, my gaze slipping to the tarmac floor before us. I'd seen a little pill box like that before, in the hands of someone who I once knew. Once...
There was a thud and a faint whimper as the middle-aged woman towered over her daughter, her eyes like daggers stabbing into the heart of the young girl before her. Her hands intertwined with each other, as she rubbed the back of her red hand, which had sooner made contact once again with the jaw of the little girl, and the stinging had still not yet gone away. She didn't know why she was wasting her time on the child, as she wasn't going to learn her lesson with just a slap on the cheek, was she? This was the third time that week they'd gone through this, why wasn't she learning? The stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl. “You said you'd have the hundred pounds by four-thirty. Where is it? I don't see it” She ordered, her voice as cold as the actions she took. The child had failed, again. She could see it in her pathetic face. She'd been caught,
The girl curled up on the floor, protecting her face and stomach from any more blows her mother was ready to send towards her. She'd learned to stay on the floor and take whatever attack was thrown at her, as she would only face a far worse punishment if she tried to run away. Tears streamed down her hot cheeks, and she tried so desperately to wipe them away. But it was impossible. It hurt. It hurt so much.
“The cameras...”The girl started, her voice barely audible as she tried to stop it from shaking so. “There were too many of them. I couldn't get there without being caught. I tried...” She was cut off as a sandalled foot hit her hard in the stomach. She clenched her teeth, bringing her knees to her chest. Stop, please stop. It hurts...
“Try harder” Her mother hissed, grabbing her hair and dragging her to her feet. “You will try again tonight, and you will keep trying until I get my money. You won't sleep, you won't be fed until I say you deserve it” The girl clenched her teeth, forcing back a cry of pain as she was forced down stairs to the closet underneath the staircase. No please... not in there. Anywhere but there... The girl begged, but she knew she wouldn't make a difference, even if she had said it out loud. Her hair was pulled back towards her mother, and she whimpered weakly, letting her head roll back to look into the blood-curdling gaze of her mother.
“Your to stay here until I get back” The girl swallowed, her glassy eyes flickering from side to side in attempt to shake off the face her hair was about to get ripped off her head, or the tingling feeling in her cheek, or the throbbing in her stomach. No such look.
“W-where are you going?” she stuttered weakly, before she was thrown into the small cupboard, falling straight onto her pelvis. She winced, just in time for the door to be shut and the small bar to be slided into place. She was locked in.
“Out” her mother answered simply, turning away from the closet towards the front room, and picked up a small white plastic box, containing a selection of green and white pills. The girl pressed her face towards the gap beside the hinges and wrinkled her sweating brow. Her mother hadn't been known to take medicine before now, other than for her migraines. It certainly didn't look like something from the doctor. The woman filled a glass of water and swallowed two of the green tablets, then one of the white ones. She looked down at the pills, nodding in satisfaction.
“Frank was right, they do make you feel better” she muttered, placing the pot back down on the tabletop and grabbed her back. She thumped rather loudly on the closet door, causing it to rattle effectively and made the girl jump. She gasped, jumping back on her rear and looked up at the woman through the gap with wide, fearful eyes.
“Keep your gob shut until I get back. I don't want any more bother from you, young lady”
And with that, she was gone, leaving her daughter shut in the blackness of the shadows she would be consumed in until the next sunrise, where she would no doubt have the same thing happen to her again. But the one thing that was haunting her mind, the one memory she had of that night, the thing that held the blame for all her pain, was that little white box.
I inhaled deeply for a moment, trying to force my breathing to return to a steady rhythm. But I couldn't help but think about that small plastic tub mother had used that night, to supposedly get rid of her pain and make her feel better. I'd only been eleven at the time, and I'd suffered severe bruising around my ribs. But of course it meant nothing if mum didn't get her pills. It meant nothing if she didn't feel better. Did the pills work? Oh yeah, they worked, alright. They worked far too well. She was high for the next few hours, then she'd take a few more pills. It seemed to take care of her well enough. Until that is, she ran out.
Of course it hadn't been Kougu back then, it had been before I knew him. My lips parted and I let out a sudden humourless chuckle. I made it sound like I'd known him for far longer than I actually had. In reality I still barely knew him, since he didn't seem to want to tell me anything I wanted to know. He was still a stranger to me. In fact, I knew so little about him, I'd been lying to myself the whole time. Why had I thought I'd known him? He took a couple of pills from the pot and swallowed them dry, and I let my eyes trail over the rattling pot, every minute, every second of that single memory haunting my brain. It was one of those I wished I could forget, the night she was at the pub and I was locked in the cold, and the dark for a good eight or nine hours in a row. I looked down, suddenly feeling a lump suddenly creeping up my throat. I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to remember what I went through that day. I didn't want to cry... Kougu looked up and I could see his head twitching behind us, like there was something he'd sensed, or heard. I frowned, turning my head to follow his gaze, but I hadn't heard anything. Perhaps he was just paranoid. I sighed and began to walk, but then a faint noise came from behind us, and I stopped. Kougu was looking more aware now, and I knew he'd heard it too. So we weren't imagining it. I slowly stepped past him to see what was going on, and suddenly a voice hit my attention.
“Do my eyes deceive me?” I frowned. That wasn't... It sounded like the voice of...
“Atkinson! Thought you were in the slammer” Really? What makes you think that? Oh yeah, because I told him I was handing myself in. That was a mistake. Jimmy Mackintosh and his crew of sharks... Huh, more like piranha. And they were heading towards us, at a fast pace. Jimmy's face was creased into a sly smile, and his eyes were a rich dark chocolate, looking almost black in the shadow of his dark hood. He was looking at me...right at me. Great, what did I owe him this time? My eyes widened as I turned back to Kougu. He had to get out of there, before he did something we'd both regret. “Kougu, go home” I said firmly, although I doubted he even knew where we were. “Just go home, I'll see you later...hopefully” Probably not. I'd be either dead or close to it before these guys were done with me. But he was vulnerable now. Anything could get to him, especially Jimmy. Jimmy got to everyone. But I couldn't have anyone dying on my account. Not today. “Kougu, home. Now”
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:33 am
Kougu started in sudden surprise as Charlie's high-pitched laugh rang through the air. For a moment he felt his muscles tense, trembling in anticipation like a horse about to bolt (XD) but then the moment passed, and he slowly felt his lips curving into a smile. He released his tension and relaxed slightly - truly glad to see Charlie so happy. In fact, he had never seen her even slightly like this before, and it was an utterly delightful sight. While at first it had made him slightly nervous, and though he had no doubt that if anybody else had laughed like that in his presence he'd have dragged them to the nearest mental hospital, somehow when Charlie did it, it just seemed to brighten the day. She was happy... She really was, and he could think of nothing in the world he'd rather have. At this thought, an image of his father flickered through his mind, but Kougu stubbornly pushed it away. That was different. Next thing he knew, Charlie was speaking to him. “Kougu, it's alright. It's fine.” She assured him calmly, and Kougu felt himself relax even further as relief allowed his smile to widen slightly - now clearly recognisable as an expression of happiness on his pale face. He seemed to be catching on to her good mood... Well, in lay man's terms, anyway. More specifically, he felt that seeing Charlie so happy brought him such extreme joy, that he ended up showing happiness himself. A soft chuckle left his lips, but for the time being words escaped him, so he settled simply for showing that he had acknowledged her words, and that he was glad of them. Extremely glad. Kougu followed Charlie's gaze to the old woman as she walked past, but her glare unsettled him, so he soon looked away. He wasn't good with people... He never had been, and he never would be. It was that simple... A moment later, Charlie was speaking again, this time seeming marginally calmer and more sophisticated. Kougu was almost disappointed by the change... He had found her euphoria heartening. It almost felt as though... He had succeeded at something. Something important... But then again, perhaps he was wrong... Perhaps this had nothing to do with him... “Really, don't apologize. You've done nothing wrong. I...I'm sorry for overreacting. You probably think I've gone insane...” Charlie's words suddenly broke through his mind, and then when he heard the giggles erupt from her lips, Kougu felt his own face split into a grin momentarily. It hurt his unfit muscles, however, so he soon decided that a mere smile would do. "Me think you have gone insane?" Kougu asked, raising his eyebrows slightly. A faint laugh broke from his lips and he shook his head with a faintly amused smile. “You overreact?” He asked with a faint note of fond incredulity. “Perhaps we’re both thinking a little too much…” He admitted cheerfully, his face breaking into a subtle grin for a moment. Somehow Charlie always seemed to know how to put him at ease… And quite frankly, that in itself was an extraordinary feat. Certainly one he had never been able to accomplish…
Kougu glanced up as he heard Charlie draw in a long, slow breath. He glanced over at her, though he had to squint and blink a few times before his eyes would bring her into focus, and even then he watched her with a slightly dazed expression. It seemed slightly out of face as it coincided with the concerned frown that furrowed Kougu’s brow when he noticed Charlie’s expression. Just what had happened to make her go from so happy and bubbly to so sombre that fast? Shaking his head to clear his inattentive thoughts, Kougu watched Charlie a moment longer, then opened his mouth to speak. “Charlie, are you-“ But he broke off, his question cut short, as a sound behind him suddenly caught his attention again. This time, it was followed by a voice. “Do my eyes deceive me? Atkinson! Thought you were in the slammer!” The jeering voice exclaimed. Kougu’s frown deepened further still and he scratched his head in bewildered confusion as he turned to face the source of the voice. A gang of boys, most of them around his own age, strutted down the street toward them. They moved with the cocky self-assurance of big, puffed-up peacocks. Kougu blinked serenely at them, and before he knew it, they were so near to Charlie and himself that he could make out the whites of the leader’s eyes. Something his father had said once drifted through his mind, but the thoughts trickled from Kougu’s grasp like water over oil. He simply couldn’t grasp them. He couldn’t grasp anything… Kougu kept his dark gaze fixed firmly on the man’s shadowed face, hidden beneath his hood, yet he was pleased to find that his calm relaxation did not forsake him. In fact, he felt almost as though he was half in his daydreaming state and half in reality. “Kougu, go home.”
The words wafted like smoke through his ears, but before he had time to process them, Kougu had already forgotten they had been spoken. He was staring at the boys in front of him with an expression of calm acceptance. As of yet, they had not given him reason to become hostile, but he was not too keen on the way the one in particular was acting toward Charlie… If he made one wrong move, Kougu would most likely go from being an innocent fence-sitter to a ferocious hound raising his hackles and preparing to pounce. And if nobody clipped the leash on… Well. That would probably not be a pretty sight, for he would most likely rip them limb from limb. Not intentionally, of course, though if one of them so much as laid a finger on Charlie, Kougu had a feeling he would not regret his actions as much as usual by the end of it. Wait, what was he saying?! Death was never a fitting punishment. Never a good revenge and never a solution. To bring death was to joust with destiny, and some fates were simply not meant to be changed. He was not a killer. He would not attempt to bring justice where it was not his place…
Kougu took a tighter grip on his thoughts, struggling to keep his focus together as his attention slid around like the cubes in a boggle box. “Just go home, I'll see you later...hopefully.” Charlie’s words came again, and this time Kougu swung his head around to look at her, his frown deepening further still. Hopefully? His eyes narrowed and he sharpened his gaze upon her. What did she mean ‘hopefully’? Despite the evidence to the contrary, he was not an idiot. And he damn sure wasn’t the type of worthless scum that would sit back and let her get hurt after she had done so, so much for him! No, he was certainly not going to leave her at the mercy of these scoundrels now, no matter what it cost him! His determination was fierce, and his resolve was hardened. He was prepared. He could do this… And she would not convince him otherwise! Kougu found his jaw clenching in iron-hard determination as he motivated himself to perform to the best of his ability. He felt the tingles of anticipation and adrenaline, almost as though he was preparing for a major battle as opposed to refraining from sending a few thugs into the abyss. Yet still, the adrenaline pulsed through his veins, mixing with his blood and intoxicating his thoughts. “Kougu, home. Now!” Charlie ordered him firmly, and before he could stop himself, Kougu’s tongue had lashed like a whip and an uncharacteristically waspish retort left his lips. “I’m not a dog!” he snapped, flinging a venomous glare in her direction – obviously extremely bitter and unimpressed about being ordered around. As the image of Charlie gradually sunk into his retinas, Kougu’s expression softened and his face fell instantly as he realised what he had just said, and to whom. That was uncalled for… He could have kicked himself! He would have, too, if he had been able to reach and if they had not had company. “Sorry…” He murmured quietly, dropping his gaze to the floor and turning his head away from Charlie, “But I’ll not leave you at risk.” He stated firmly, his tone clearly showing that the topic was not up for negotiation. “I won’t let you down.” Kougu promised firmly, glancing back at her and offering a slight smile. “That’s an oath.” He concluded, his expression showing the full sincerity, honesty and innocence of his intentions. “But as a precaution, be ready with that gun… If I should fail…” He added in a low tone, his voice hushed and deadly serious. This was going to be a gamble, but he was confident in his hand. As for his poker face, well… His father had made him work long and hard on that one… What with all the agony he had gone through learning to hide his expressions and emotions, it would almost have been kinder just to use a white-hot poker to sear his face off altogether.
All the same, he was glad that had not happened.
Kougu looked up at the gang of boys who now stood before them, and he slowly drained himself of all thought and emotion until he seemed little more than a statue. He drew himself to his full height, though he still did not look very intimidating, despite his size. “Please state your intentions.” Kougu requested politely, observing the group with an obvious lack of fear, though they outnumbered him and Charlie by a ratio he did not care to calculate. He doubted any of them would be able to lay a finger on Charlie. He would not allow it. As for him, well… His pain threshold had been professionally developed over the years. He could take whatever they threw at him.
Kougu glanced up as he heard Charlie draw in a long, slow breath. He glanced over at her, though he had to squint and blink a few times before his eyes would bring her into focus, and even then he watched her with a slightly dazed expression. It seemed slightly out of face as it coincided with the concerned frown that furrowed Kougu’s brow when he noticed Charlie’s expression. Just what had happened to make her go from so happy and bubbly to so sombre that fast? Shaking his head to clear his inattentive thoughts, Kougu watched Charlie a moment longer, then opened his mouth to speak. “Charlie, are you-“ But he broke off, his question cut short, as a sound behind him suddenly caught his attention again. This time, it was followed by a voice. “Do my eyes deceive me? Atkinson! Thought you were in the slammer!” The jeering voice exclaimed. Kougu’s frown deepened further still and he scratched his head in bewildered confusion as he turned to face the source of the voice. A gang of boys, most of them around his own age, strutted down the street toward them. They moved with the cocky self-assurance of big, puffed-up peacocks. Kougu blinked serenely at them, and before he knew it, they were so near to Charlie and himself that he could make out the whites of the leader’s eyes. Something his father had said once drifted through his mind, but the thoughts trickled from Kougu’s grasp like water over oil. He simply couldn’t grasp them. He couldn’t grasp anything… Kougu kept his dark gaze fixed firmly on the man’s shadowed face, hidden beneath his hood, yet he was pleased to find that his calm relaxation did not forsake him. In fact, he felt almost as though he was half in his daydreaming state and half in reality. “Kougu, go home.”
The words wafted like smoke through his ears, but before he had time to process them, Kougu had already forgotten they had been spoken. He was staring at the boys in front of him with an expression of calm acceptance. As of yet, they had not given him reason to become hostile, but he was not too keen on the way the one in particular was acting toward Charlie… If he made one wrong move, Kougu would most likely go from being an innocent fence-sitter to a ferocious hound raising his hackles and preparing to pounce. And if nobody clipped the leash on… Well. That would probably not be a pretty sight, for he would most likely rip them limb from limb. Not intentionally, of course, though if one of them so much as laid a finger on Charlie, Kougu had a feeling he would not regret his actions as much as usual by the end of it. Wait, what was he saying?! Death was never a fitting punishment. Never a good revenge and never a solution. To bring death was to joust with destiny, and some fates were simply not meant to be changed. He was not a killer. He would not attempt to bring justice where it was not his place…
Kougu took a tighter grip on his thoughts, struggling to keep his focus together as his attention slid around like the cubes in a boggle box. “Just go home, I'll see you later...hopefully.” Charlie’s words came again, and this time Kougu swung his head around to look at her, his frown deepening further still. Hopefully? His eyes narrowed and he sharpened his gaze upon her. What did she mean ‘hopefully’? Despite the evidence to the contrary, he was not an idiot. And he damn sure wasn’t the type of worthless scum that would sit back and let her get hurt after she had done so, so much for him! No, he was certainly not going to leave her at the mercy of these scoundrels now, no matter what it cost him! His determination was fierce, and his resolve was hardened. He was prepared. He could do this… And she would not convince him otherwise! Kougu found his jaw clenching in iron-hard determination as he motivated himself to perform to the best of his ability. He felt the tingles of anticipation and adrenaline, almost as though he was preparing for a major battle as opposed to refraining from sending a few thugs into the abyss. Yet still, the adrenaline pulsed through his veins, mixing with his blood and intoxicating his thoughts. “Kougu, home. Now!” Charlie ordered him firmly, and before he could stop himself, Kougu’s tongue had lashed like a whip and an uncharacteristically waspish retort left his lips. “I’m not a dog!” he snapped, flinging a venomous glare in her direction – obviously extremely bitter and unimpressed about being ordered around. As the image of Charlie gradually sunk into his retinas, Kougu’s expression softened and his face fell instantly as he realised what he had just said, and to whom. That was uncalled for… He could have kicked himself! He would have, too, if he had been able to reach and if they had not had company. “Sorry…” He murmured quietly, dropping his gaze to the floor and turning his head away from Charlie, “But I’ll not leave you at risk.” He stated firmly, his tone clearly showing that the topic was not up for negotiation. “I won’t let you down.” Kougu promised firmly, glancing back at her and offering a slight smile. “That’s an oath.” He concluded, his expression showing the full sincerity, honesty and innocence of his intentions. “But as a precaution, be ready with that gun… If I should fail…” He added in a low tone, his voice hushed and deadly serious. This was going to be a gamble, but he was confident in his hand. As for his poker face, well… His father had made him work long and hard on that one… What with all the agony he had gone through learning to hide his expressions and emotions, it would almost have been kinder just to use a white-hot poker to sear his face off altogether.
All the same, he was glad that had not happened.
Kougu looked up at the gang of boys who now stood before them, and he slowly drained himself of all thought and emotion until he seemed little more than a statue. He drew himself to his full height, though he still did not look very intimidating, despite his size. “Please state your intentions.” Kougu requested politely, observing the group with an obvious lack of fear, though they outnumbered him and Charlie by a ratio he did not care to calculate. He doubted any of them would be able to lay a finger on Charlie. He would not allow it. As for him, well… His pain threshold had been professionally developed over the years. He could take whatever they threw at him.
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Sat Sep 04, 2010 5:03 pm
Kougu seemed rather surprised, never mind concerned about how suddenly I'd changed my mood – although admittedly, it had been rather quick, even for me - but because of the approaching pack of piranha he didn't have a chance to say anything else on the subject. But my eyes didn't leave Jimmy, and his ice cold glare he always gave when he wanted something from me, something I couldn't usually give him. Then both of us knew exactly what would happen then. He wanted me to pay him back, like he had done for the past four and a half years. But why? Why now? Out of all the people he would catch me with, and it had to be Kougu. It had to be now, when he was at his most vulnerable. I'd been warned of what he'd been capable of. I'd seen it. Given the chance, he could kill a man with his bare hands in a few seconds flat. He could take life just like that. But so could Jimmy. And so could his backup crew. They were probably armed with goodness-knows-what, and of course they had each other. What's more they had me, and they had the threats everyone but Kougu knew about, and hopefully he wouldn't have to know about. I didn't want any more people knowing about what happened that night with Jimmy and his crew, it was just something I wanted to be kept in the past, locked away in my memory never to be revealed again.
At least, that's what I wanted.
But Jimmy here would no doubt want different, and no-one questions what Jimmy wants. Jimmy gets what Jimmy wants, and no-one stands in his way. But that's exactly what Kougu was doing, standing in his way. At least that's what he was going to do, I knew that for certain. They would push him and push him and push him, like they did with anyone who they decided they didn't like, and he would snap. He would snap right in front of everyone and then there'd be one huge mess to be dealt with. Honestly, I didn't really know who'd win. Kougu was clever, and very skillful. Not to mention deadly at times. But Jimmy had at least a dozen allies behind him. And (xD) he was armed. Kougu had no-one - if you take away me, since even if I tried to help I'd be no use against that lot – and no weapons, since he'd given me the only weapon that would be any use, and I don't think there'd be enough bullets in there to fight off an entire gang and not actually kill anybody. He'd have no chance. He was a dead man if he stayed there. I couldn't have him be killed because of me, I just couldn't. Kougu had to live. I just wished he'd get it out of his mind that he owed me. He didn't owe me anything. I owed him everything, especially for what he'd done for me. It was in no way, shape or form the other way round. So, yes, I gave him the confidence to put his hand on my shoulder. In the moment it had made me happy. But now we were both in bother, unless he saved himself now. “Kougu please...” I started, suddenly finding my voice shaking in desperation. I didn't want anyone, especially Kougu, who'd given me the chance to restart my life away from the criminal one, who'd got me pardoned from the police, who'd paid off everything I'd stolen from the corner shop and more, just for the sake of helping me start again,... I didn't want anyone getting hurt on my account. I just couldn't. “I don't want to see anyone to get hurt... I-I don't want you killing anyone. Just go home, please...” Jimmy and his crew were already crossing the road towards us. But there was still time, if he ran... But wait, why wasn't he leaving? He had to leave. If he wanted to walk away unscathed, if at all, then he had to do so right then. But wait, he was staying put. What, did he want to be stabbed? I could take the pain, I could cope with whatever they had planned for me. I could cope with their mocking tones and the fact they messed around with your personal space, since the term didn't even exist in Jimmy's mind. But Kougu...Kougu had boundaries, boundaries that Jimmy would cross almost as soon as he approached him. This wouldn't turn out good.
I won't let you down.” Kougu's low voice hummed in my ears, but I barely heard him. I was far too bothered about how badly all this was going to end. Someone was going to die here, whether it was me, Kougu, Jimmy, or any of Jimmy's crew. Someone was going to die, or get hurt. It was just a question of who. And it was all for me. Huh, that's what I got for living the criminal criminal way of life. People get hurt over you, you get over it, or learn to live with it. “That's an oath” Okay, so maybe there wasn't any way to change his mind anymore, he wasn't leaving me. I silently cussed to myself, bringing my attention back to Kougu. If he was going to stay, he had to be careful. He had to be tolerant. He had to stay conscious. Most of all, he had to stay sane. If any wanted to walk away from this unscathed, he had to keep himself from snapping. But it would be hard, especially being around the likes of Jimmy here. It might even be impossible for Kougu. But he had to try. We both had to. “But as a precaution, be ready with that gun… If I should fail” I winced suddenly, not that I was any pain... yet. I just didn't know whether he was talking about using the gun on him or Jimmy. I'd have loved to use it on Jimmy, really I would, but he probably had some form of a gun hidden in one of his little crew members, and I really doubted the bullets in his guns were made of rubber. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to force my heart to stop punching my chest so quickly, as I swear the closer Jimmy and his flock of piranha became to us the more obvious it was with the constant twitching of my chest every time my heart gave a single beat.
Okay, I was scared. Petrified. There, I said it. I was scared to know who was going to get hurt on my account this time. I was scared Kougu was going to hurt someone. I was scared he was going to be hurt. I was scared he was going to snap because of Jimmy and go mad at us all. Would he turn on me? I hoped not. Flippin' heck I hoped not. Right, I had to warn him before-hand. Show him what he was up against, so he could prepare himself. Jimmy was on the pavement now, and moving quickly. It wouldn't take long for him to reach us. I turned to Kougu quickly, my eyes darting back and forth from him, to Jimmy – who still hadn't stopped looking at me yet, it was really, really starting to creep me out. “Right, fine. Stay. But I warn you he... You won't like him. Just don't try and challenge him and don't, whatever you do don't say anything too clever. He will try something on you if he feels too threatened by you, if he feels out-smarted. Oh yeah, and he doesn't know squat about personal space. Most of all, just...keep yourself”
Now I could see Jimmy out of the corner of my eye and I knew our time had already run out. Kougu couldn't run now even if he wanted to. Neither of us were going anywhere with that lot around. I sighed, chewing on my tongue just to keep from saying anything I'd regret. Guys had that effect on me sometimes, it never did me any good, wherever I was. Slowly, painfully slowly, I turned back to Jimmy, who was now approaching us with the most irritatingly cruel smirk I'd seen on any male I'd ever met before. It said one thing: I own this gang, I own these streets, I own you. You are mine, and you will do what I say, no questions asked. He raised his eyebrows as Kougu spoke and finally he took his gaze off me, and looked Kougu up and down, studying him for any sign of threat. Something that meant he had contest. But I could see it in his face, the way the laugh lines around his eyes deepened, and that even though his lips weren't laughing, his eyes were in hysterics. Kougu hadn't given him a reason to feel threatened, yet. “My intentions?” He asked in amusement, his eyebrows shooting towards the sky. I felt myself go hot as he walked towards me and put an arm around my shoulder. He'd done that to me, plenty of times before. It wasn't a friendly gesture. “My intentions... my intentions are as follows. I want you to back away from my girl. I need some time...” He lowered his face down to my cheek as he muttered the next few words, his breath burning against my skin. It stank of alcohol, and also of something that must have died in there, since I can't remember plaque ever smelling as bad as that. “Alone with my girl” The last two words haunted me, and I suddenly found myself shrugging him off me, rather roughly. My gaze darted to him, and my eyes narrowed in disgust. “I am not your girl”
Jimmy took his arm off my shoulder, but instead placed a hand on each. And (xD) this time, his grip was like a vice. I wasn't going anywhere. “Oh come on, babe. Haven't we been through this before? You are my girl, you always have been. Whether you want to or not means nothing. Besides, we know what happens when you play hard to get, don't we?” He sneered cruelly, stepping away from me. Oh yeah, of course we did. Did I need reminding?
Still, I said nothing.
Jimmy wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me closer, and as much as I tried to struggle, I knew it was no use trying to fight his grip again. He was always going to win. Besides, he was a good year or two older than me, and at least 6 foot high. Not too much off Kougu's height, really. But he had a strong build, the type that let you know not to question him, or what he was capable of. Kind of like Kougu's warning glares he gave to those police officers back at the house. You didn't question one of those glares, because they told you exactly what was going to happen if you did. Kougu... What had happened to him? My head shot up with a jolt, and I looked up to see Jimmy's crowd still huddled behind him, like they daren't set a foot before his in case they were punished for it. Good, so they hadn't done anything to make him snap just yet. But I wasn't keeping my hopes up. We weren't out of the woods yet.
Jimmy stepped away from me, although I noticed he still had a firm grip on my right wrist, and I found my fist suddenly clenching. If he had hold of me for too long I'd lose my blood flow of that hand altogether. But I didn't struggle. I let him drag me towards Kougu, and I found myself unable to meet his eye. He'd see the pain and embarrassment in my face, and he would most certainly feel the urge to fight back straight away. I didn't know about Jimmy here, but I most certainly was ready to avoid a fight at all costs. I winced slightly, finding myself being pulled towards his side. He was showing off, I noticed. He was showing Kougu how powerful he was, how invincible he was. He was showing he wasn't to be messed with. It reminded me of two stallions fighting over a mare. Kougu was being neutral, trying to approach the idea calmly, and Jimmy was flaring his nostrils and pawing at the ground, warning Kougu that he gave a good powerful blow, and that he wasn't to be messed with. He was flirting with the mare, apparently winning her over, and challenging his opponent to see what he would do next. But what mare had a chance against a herd of twelve stallions? Not many, I knew that. Now Jimmy was squaring himself before Kougu, me still by his side, and looked him up and down once again. His idea of looking 'big' I suppose.
“So, what's it to you?” He asked, with a rather impressive seriousness in his expression, although me of all people knew he was taking the mickey. Kougu would no doubt pick it up too. But it was what he was going to do about it that we all wanted to know. The one thing I was dreading. That he'd say something clever, that he'd out-wit him – which isn't too hard, to be honest. He's not exactly the cleverest of the bunch – and that war would break out before my eyes. It couldn't happen. Not now. Not ever. Not for me.
At least, that's what I wanted.
But Jimmy here would no doubt want different, and no-one questions what Jimmy wants. Jimmy gets what Jimmy wants, and no-one stands in his way. But that's exactly what Kougu was doing, standing in his way. At least that's what he was going to do, I knew that for certain. They would push him and push him and push him, like they did with anyone who they decided they didn't like, and he would snap. He would snap right in front of everyone and then there'd be one huge mess to be dealt with. Honestly, I didn't really know who'd win. Kougu was clever, and very skillful. Not to mention deadly at times. But Jimmy had at least a dozen allies behind him. And (xD) he was armed. Kougu had no-one - if you take away me, since even if I tried to help I'd be no use against that lot – and no weapons, since he'd given me the only weapon that would be any use, and I don't think there'd be enough bullets in there to fight off an entire gang and not actually kill anybody. He'd have no chance. He was a dead man if he stayed there. I couldn't have him be killed because of me, I just couldn't. Kougu had to live. I just wished he'd get it out of his mind that he owed me. He didn't owe me anything. I owed him everything, especially for what he'd done for me. It was in no way, shape or form the other way round. So, yes, I gave him the confidence to put his hand on my shoulder. In the moment it had made me happy. But now we were both in bother, unless he saved himself now. “Kougu please...” I started, suddenly finding my voice shaking in desperation. I didn't want anyone, especially Kougu, who'd given me the chance to restart my life away from the criminal one, who'd got me pardoned from the police, who'd paid off everything I'd stolen from the corner shop and more, just for the sake of helping me start again,... I didn't want anyone getting hurt on my account. I just couldn't. “I don't want to see anyone to get hurt... I-I don't want you killing anyone. Just go home, please...” Jimmy and his crew were already crossing the road towards us. But there was still time, if he ran... But wait, why wasn't he leaving? He had to leave. If he wanted to walk away unscathed, if at all, then he had to do so right then. But wait, he was staying put. What, did he want to be stabbed? I could take the pain, I could cope with whatever they had planned for me. I could cope with their mocking tones and the fact they messed around with your personal space, since the term didn't even exist in Jimmy's mind. But Kougu...Kougu had boundaries, boundaries that Jimmy would cross almost as soon as he approached him. This wouldn't turn out good.
I won't let you down.” Kougu's low voice hummed in my ears, but I barely heard him. I was far too bothered about how badly all this was going to end. Someone was going to die here, whether it was me, Kougu, Jimmy, or any of Jimmy's crew. Someone was going to die, or get hurt. It was just a question of who. And it was all for me. Huh, that's what I got for living the criminal criminal way of life. People get hurt over you, you get over it, or learn to live with it. “That's an oath” Okay, so maybe there wasn't any way to change his mind anymore, he wasn't leaving me. I silently cussed to myself, bringing my attention back to Kougu. If he was going to stay, he had to be careful. He had to be tolerant. He had to stay conscious. Most of all, he had to stay sane. If any wanted to walk away from this unscathed, he had to keep himself from snapping. But it would be hard, especially being around the likes of Jimmy here. It might even be impossible for Kougu. But he had to try. We both had to. “But as a precaution, be ready with that gun… If I should fail” I winced suddenly, not that I was any pain... yet. I just didn't know whether he was talking about using the gun on him or Jimmy. I'd have loved to use it on Jimmy, really I would, but he probably had some form of a gun hidden in one of his little crew members, and I really doubted the bullets in his guns were made of rubber. I inhaled and exhaled slowly, trying to force my heart to stop punching my chest so quickly, as I swear the closer Jimmy and his flock of piranha became to us the more obvious it was with the constant twitching of my chest every time my heart gave a single beat.
Okay, I was scared. Petrified. There, I said it. I was scared to know who was going to get hurt on my account this time. I was scared Kougu was going to hurt someone. I was scared he was going to be hurt. I was scared he was going to snap because of Jimmy and go mad at us all. Would he turn on me? I hoped not. Flippin' heck I hoped not. Right, I had to warn him before-hand. Show him what he was up against, so he could prepare himself. Jimmy was on the pavement now, and moving quickly. It wouldn't take long for him to reach us. I turned to Kougu quickly, my eyes darting back and forth from him, to Jimmy – who still hadn't stopped looking at me yet, it was really, really starting to creep me out. “Right, fine. Stay. But I warn you he... You won't like him. Just don't try and challenge him and don't, whatever you do don't say anything too clever. He will try something on you if he feels too threatened by you, if he feels out-smarted. Oh yeah, and he doesn't know squat about personal space. Most of all, just...keep yourself”
Now I could see Jimmy out of the corner of my eye and I knew our time had already run out. Kougu couldn't run now even if he wanted to. Neither of us were going anywhere with that lot around. I sighed, chewing on my tongue just to keep from saying anything I'd regret. Guys had that effect on me sometimes, it never did me any good, wherever I was. Slowly, painfully slowly, I turned back to Jimmy, who was now approaching us with the most irritatingly cruel smirk I'd seen on any male I'd ever met before. It said one thing: I own this gang, I own these streets, I own you. You are mine, and you will do what I say, no questions asked. He raised his eyebrows as Kougu spoke and finally he took his gaze off me, and looked Kougu up and down, studying him for any sign of threat. Something that meant he had contest. But I could see it in his face, the way the laugh lines around his eyes deepened, and that even though his lips weren't laughing, his eyes were in hysterics. Kougu hadn't given him a reason to feel threatened, yet. “My intentions?” He asked in amusement, his eyebrows shooting towards the sky. I felt myself go hot as he walked towards me and put an arm around my shoulder. He'd done that to me, plenty of times before. It wasn't a friendly gesture. “My intentions... my intentions are as follows. I want you to back away from my girl. I need some time...” He lowered his face down to my cheek as he muttered the next few words, his breath burning against my skin. It stank of alcohol, and also of something that must have died in there, since I can't remember plaque ever smelling as bad as that. “Alone with my girl” The last two words haunted me, and I suddenly found myself shrugging him off me, rather roughly. My gaze darted to him, and my eyes narrowed in disgust. “I am not your girl”
Jimmy took his arm off my shoulder, but instead placed a hand on each. And (xD) this time, his grip was like a vice. I wasn't going anywhere. “Oh come on, babe. Haven't we been through this before? You are my girl, you always have been. Whether you want to or not means nothing. Besides, we know what happens when you play hard to get, don't we?” He sneered cruelly, stepping away from me. Oh yeah, of course we did. Did I need reminding?
Still, I said nothing.
Jimmy wrapped a hand around my waist and pulled me closer, and as much as I tried to struggle, I knew it was no use trying to fight his grip again. He was always going to win. Besides, he was a good year or two older than me, and at least 6 foot high. Not too much off Kougu's height, really. But he had a strong build, the type that let you know not to question him, or what he was capable of. Kind of like Kougu's warning glares he gave to those police officers back at the house. You didn't question one of those glares, because they told you exactly what was going to happen if you did. Kougu... What had happened to him? My head shot up with a jolt, and I looked up to see Jimmy's crowd still huddled behind him, like they daren't set a foot before his in case they were punished for it. Good, so they hadn't done anything to make him snap just yet. But I wasn't keeping my hopes up. We weren't out of the woods yet.
Jimmy stepped away from me, although I noticed he still had a firm grip on my right wrist, and I found my fist suddenly clenching. If he had hold of me for too long I'd lose my blood flow of that hand altogether. But I didn't struggle. I let him drag me towards Kougu, and I found myself unable to meet his eye. He'd see the pain and embarrassment in my face, and he would most certainly feel the urge to fight back straight away. I didn't know about Jimmy here, but I most certainly was ready to avoid a fight at all costs. I winced slightly, finding myself being pulled towards his side. He was showing off, I noticed. He was showing Kougu how powerful he was, how invincible he was. He was showing he wasn't to be messed with. It reminded me of two stallions fighting over a mare. Kougu was being neutral, trying to approach the idea calmly, and Jimmy was flaring his nostrils and pawing at the ground, warning Kougu that he gave a good powerful blow, and that he wasn't to be messed with. He was flirting with the mare, apparently winning her over, and challenging his opponent to see what he would do next. But what mare had a chance against a herd of twelve stallions? Not many, I knew that. Now Jimmy was squaring himself before Kougu, me still by his side, and looked him up and down once again. His idea of looking 'big' I suppose.
“So, what's it to you?” He asked, with a rather impressive seriousness in his expression, although me of all people knew he was taking the mickey. Kougu would no doubt pick it up too. But it was what he was going to do about it that we all wanted to know. The one thing I was dreading. That he'd say something clever, that he'd out-wit him – which isn't too hard, to be honest. He's not exactly the cleverest of the bunch – and that war would break out before my eyes. It couldn't happen. Not now. Not ever. Not for me.
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Sun Sep 05, 2010 9:26 am
Kougu completely ignored Charlie’s objections as she made an attempt to sway his decisions. It was obvious even from the thick tone of desperation in her voice that she knew her suit was a hopeless one. He was stubborn when it suited him, and at those times nobody could change his perspective. Of course, he had always been and would always be open to other opinions, and willing to come to a compromise, but at times like these he was confident that he knew best, and that any other opinion given to him, especially Charlie’s feeble, pleading suggestion, would be spoken with logic flawed by emotion. Okay, so perhaps this time his logic was also flawed, for he knew that the wisest choice would be to leave Charlie and see one life lost as opposed to putting a dozen or more at risk, but since he had decided that letting Charlie get hurt or killed was not an option, he had been forced to look for the next best decision, including personal preference as a factor.
Wait… Technically, that meant that Charlie was right and he was wrong, at least with regards to what would be the safest and wisest decision. Well, well! Good for Charlie… He couldn’t even remember the last time he had been outsmarted. Then again, that was not surprising, since he seldom spoke to people anyway. In fact, he was rather like those creepy old men who lived alone like hermits with long white Santa-clause beards that they flung over their shoulders and combed with the utmost care every single morning… He wondered vaguely if those beards would feel soft and fluffy, or if they would be hard and bristly as he had been lead to believe beards should be. He had never touched his father’s face, of course, and besides – his father had always, always been clean shaven, so that would not have helped his investigation anyway. He, of course, had never grown a beard, which was not entirely unexpected since many things about him had always been somewhat ‘abnormal’. Seeing as his father loathed facial hair so much, perhaps he had decided when Kougu was an infant that he was not allowed to have a beard, and had altered his DNA accordingly. It seemed so absurd that Kougu almost wanted to laugh, but he did not, for preposterous as his thoughts may have been, he actually would not put it past his father to do something like that. He saw the world as his playground: What he didn’t like, he changed, regardless of how it would affect everybody else. At first his intentions had been noble, but like all good men, power had corrupted him… To inconceivable extents. But what was his point again? Oh yes, he was like an old hermit. The kinds you would see in the kiddies’ cartoons. The ones that sat around in their slippers in front of a fire and played chess with themselves. First sitting on one side, and calmly moving the pieces with careful contemplation, then changing over to the other side and recklessly throwing the pieces about with a cocky laugh and a maddened grin. They were crazy, of course, but at the same time, in a way, they did not truly exist, so perhaps his comparison had been pointless after all. Come to think of it, what had been the point of all that? The answer was quite simple: There hadn’t been one. There was never a point.
This was merely because he had always been inclined to attempt to evade tricky situations by hiding from them within his head. He always managed to convince himself that if he could just ignore it for long enough, it would go away. That was how he had dealt with his father’s beatings so often, never spilling a tear despite the pain. He almost forgot to feel the pain when he lost himself in his own thoughts… It had always served him well in the past, but this time that would not be the case. He had to get a grip, and fast. This situation would not resolve itself while he hung back and pointed out imaginary butterflies. No, it was time to be a man – just like his father had always wanted. He would have to endure this moment for as long as it might last, and he would do so, for Kougu was certain that he had never felt such sheer, steely determination as this in his entire life. He regarded the change with a feeling of awe, a slight timidity combined with a great respect. It was as though the determination was a blade he could hold in his hands, with a silver edge honed so sharp that it could be wielded by a toddler and still slice through brick without leaving a crack. The thought sent a slight shiver down Kougu’s spine, and the physical sensation brought his mind back to the present as he had hoped.
He instantly turned his attention to Charlie, his brow furrowing into a deeply concerned frown as he noticed how afraid she seemed. Ordinarily the thought would have made him nervous, but with so much medication fizzing up his thoughts, he found himself grow contradictingly calmer, as though he hoped that it might comfort Charlie and cause her fear to ebb away slightly to see that he, at least, was calm and confident – if unduly so.
The next moment, she had abandoned her fear and turned to face him, speaking in hurried, abrupt words. “Right, fine. Stay. But I warn you he... You won't like him. Just don't try and challenge him and don't, whatever you do don't say anything too clever. He will try something on you if he feels too threatened by you, if he feels out-smarted. Oh yeah, and he doesn't know squat about personal space. Most of all, just...keep yourself.” Kougu’s expression instantly shifted as he realized that she was sharing with him the sort of valuable information that could make the difference between life and death. He gave a grim nod and listened intently – his dark blue gaze fixed so sharply on her that his eyes seemed to stare right through her. His expression seemed almost starved – hungering for information – and his brain was like a sponge ready to absorb it. It was a wonder it was not saturated already, what with all the information his father had splashed over it. All the same, Kougu listened closely and contemplated what Charlie had said. Okay, so he was supposed to maintain a pretense of stupidity. It sounded easy, but to make it convincing was going to be quite a challenge. It would take all his wit and knowledge to find simplistic and unintelligent terms for getting his point across. How ironic… Thankfully, he felt his mind was fit enough to be up for the challenge. At least, he hoped so. Ah, and he didn’t respect space… Well, if he valued his life, then he ought to – but as that was not Kougu’s problem, he would not concern himself with it. He had given his word that he would not lose control, so he would not, and as such it would not matter whether this ‘Jimmy’ respected his space or not. Of course, he probably wouldn’t enjoy being crowded – simply because he was not used to it – but he was pretty confident that he could deal with it without freaking out. His space issues wouldn’t matter much with people he didn’t like… At least, not as much. Okay, what else? But wait – there was no time left. The gang had arrived.
Kougu observed Jimmy’s amusement with a disinterested, yet observant gaze. He studied the boy’s every action for weaknesses, and yes, he said ‘boy’ because a man would never stoop so low… Then again… Kougu stifled an irritable sigh and pushed the bitter thoughts of his father out of his mind, then turned his attention back to Jimmy. The boy reminded him of a snake. A big, thick, ugly python that wrapped itself around its victims and constricted them until its grip was so tight that they had no choice but to do its bidding… Or become its prey. With a snake, it was usually the latter. With Jimmy…? Kougu supposed he would wait and see, though he doubted Jimmy’s plans would run as smoothly as he hoped… Kougu was sure that he would get in the way. A lot. After all, failure was not an option, therefore he would simply have to do anything and everything to succeed. Success, or death. Those were his options, yet he had decided that death must wait until his goals were accomplished, which left one simple fact: He had to succeed. It didn’t matter how, when or why, but he had to succeed.
Kougu’s eyes darted toward Jimmy again as he began to speak, a mocking tone to his voice. As he walked toward Charlie and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, Kougu observed with a detached air that she did not seem particularly pleased by his actions. He would probably have launched into a protective rage at the sight of her displeasure, but he had to think ahead, and thinking ahead told him that she would suffer far more if he allowed himself to snap. Though it felt like a part of his soul was dying, Kougu ignored Charlie’s obvious discomfort and chose not to act upon it. Instead, he watched Jimmy, and heeded his words. Back away. He could do that. As for the rest, well… He was not letting Charlie out of his sight, so he certainly hoped that Jimmy would accept a compromise.
Kougu took a step back, raising his hands as though in submission and hiding all expression in his face – leaving his body language to suggest unthreatening placidity. “Right you are.” Kougu replied, taking care to form his words ‘carelessly’ and keep them as simple and ‘common’ as he could. “But I don’t really like the idea of leaving you alone with her.” Kougu admitted with a slightly apologetic tone. Okay, so he was already sort of failing with negotiation, but if violence was unavoidable, he had a plan for that… Still, he had to do his best to keep the peace here… He didn’t want to hurt anybody… He couldn’t stand it. “After all, she doesn’t seem to think she belongs to you, so wouldn’t you do better going after somebody who could appreciate what you offer?” Kougu suggested fairly, taking care to keep himself as ‘uninvolved’ as possible. Jimmy was doing this to get to him… He could see it… If he thought it wasn’t working, then hopefully he would leave Charlie in peace – at least for the time being. “If there’s something else you need, maybe I could help you get it, because what it is to me is that I really just don’t want any trouble for me, or her.” Kougu explained, his grammatical errors seeming to burn his throat and his simplistic words stabbing at his lips. Wow, this was more difficult than he had thought… He hated it. It felt as though he was being somebody completely different, and he certainly didn’t need another personality…
Kougu pointedly averted his gaze and ignored Charlie. He didn’t want to pose a threat, so he could not have himself feeling protective, not even slightly. If it was money that Jimmy wanted, then Kougu could simply buy him off, and truck the load of them off to prison on his own time. The wouldn’t bother him in the slightest… Yet if he looked at Charlie and saw once again the humiliation in her eyes, he knew that he would be tempted to forcibly remove her from Jimmy’s clutches, and that would probably lead to violence, which could lead to all sorts of troubles. One thing was for sure… Whether now, or some time in the near future, he was going to make sure that this gang paid for their sins. He hoped they would enjoy their freedom… It was not going to last long. They could take the prison cell that Charlie’s absence had left empty. Kougu glanced over at Jimmy, waiting patiently for his response. His face showed no expression, and he kept his body language submissive. The fight was on… In flawless irony. He would outsmart this puffed-up peacock without even letting him know it was happening. How was that for superiority? If only he could figure out the right things to say to do that… Words had always failed him when he needed them most…
Wait… Technically, that meant that Charlie was right and he was wrong, at least with regards to what would be the safest and wisest decision. Well, well! Good for Charlie… He couldn’t even remember the last time he had been outsmarted. Then again, that was not surprising, since he seldom spoke to people anyway. In fact, he was rather like those creepy old men who lived alone like hermits with long white Santa-clause beards that they flung over their shoulders and combed with the utmost care every single morning… He wondered vaguely if those beards would feel soft and fluffy, or if they would be hard and bristly as he had been lead to believe beards should be. He had never touched his father’s face, of course, and besides – his father had always, always been clean shaven, so that would not have helped his investigation anyway. He, of course, had never grown a beard, which was not entirely unexpected since many things about him had always been somewhat ‘abnormal’. Seeing as his father loathed facial hair so much, perhaps he had decided when Kougu was an infant that he was not allowed to have a beard, and had altered his DNA accordingly. It seemed so absurd that Kougu almost wanted to laugh, but he did not, for preposterous as his thoughts may have been, he actually would not put it past his father to do something like that. He saw the world as his playground: What he didn’t like, he changed, regardless of how it would affect everybody else. At first his intentions had been noble, but like all good men, power had corrupted him… To inconceivable extents. But what was his point again? Oh yes, he was like an old hermit. The kinds you would see in the kiddies’ cartoons. The ones that sat around in their slippers in front of a fire and played chess with themselves. First sitting on one side, and calmly moving the pieces with careful contemplation, then changing over to the other side and recklessly throwing the pieces about with a cocky laugh and a maddened grin. They were crazy, of course, but at the same time, in a way, they did not truly exist, so perhaps his comparison had been pointless after all. Come to think of it, what had been the point of all that? The answer was quite simple: There hadn’t been one. There was never a point.
This was merely because he had always been inclined to attempt to evade tricky situations by hiding from them within his head. He always managed to convince himself that if he could just ignore it for long enough, it would go away. That was how he had dealt with his father’s beatings so often, never spilling a tear despite the pain. He almost forgot to feel the pain when he lost himself in his own thoughts… It had always served him well in the past, but this time that would not be the case. He had to get a grip, and fast. This situation would not resolve itself while he hung back and pointed out imaginary butterflies. No, it was time to be a man – just like his father had always wanted. He would have to endure this moment for as long as it might last, and he would do so, for Kougu was certain that he had never felt such sheer, steely determination as this in his entire life. He regarded the change with a feeling of awe, a slight timidity combined with a great respect. It was as though the determination was a blade he could hold in his hands, with a silver edge honed so sharp that it could be wielded by a toddler and still slice through brick without leaving a crack. The thought sent a slight shiver down Kougu’s spine, and the physical sensation brought his mind back to the present as he had hoped.
He instantly turned his attention to Charlie, his brow furrowing into a deeply concerned frown as he noticed how afraid she seemed. Ordinarily the thought would have made him nervous, but with so much medication fizzing up his thoughts, he found himself grow contradictingly calmer, as though he hoped that it might comfort Charlie and cause her fear to ebb away slightly to see that he, at least, was calm and confident – if unduly so.
The next moment, she had abandoned her fear and turned to face him, speaking in hurried, abrupt words. “Right, fine. Stay. But I warn you he... You won't like him. Just don't try and challenge him and don't, whatever you do don't say anything too clever. He will try something on you if he feels too threatened by you, if he feels out-smarted. Oh yeah, and he doesn't know squat about personal space. Most of all, just...keep yourself.” Kougu’s expression instantly shifted as he realized that she was sharing with him the sort of valuable information that could make the difference between life and death. He gave a grim nod and listened intently – his dark blue gaze fixed so sharply on her that his eyes seemed to stare right through her. His expression seemed almost starved – hungering for information – and his brain was like a sponge ready to absorb it. It was a wonder it was not saturated already, what with all the information his father had splashed over it. All the same, Kougu listened closely and contemplated what Charlie had said. Okay, so he was supposed to maintain a pretense of stupidity. It sounded easy, but to make it convincing was going to be quite a challenge. It would take all his wit and knowledge to find simplistic and unintelligent terms for getting his point across. How ironic… Thankfully, he felt his mind was fit enough to be up for the challenge. At least, he hoped so. Ah, and he didn’t respect space… Well, if he valued his life, then he ought to – but as that was not Kougu’s problem, he would not concern himself with it. He had given his word that he would not lose control, so he would not, and as such it would not matter whether this ‘Jimmy’ respected his space or not. Of course, he probably wouldn’t enjoy being crowded – simply because he was not used to it – but he was pretty confident that he could deal with it without freaking out. His space issues wouldn’t matter much with people he didn’t like… At least, not as much. Okay, what else? But wait – there was no time left. The gang had arrived.
Kougu observed Jimmy’s amusement with a disinterested, yet observant gaze. He studied the boy’s every action for weaknesses, and yes, he said ‘boy’ because a man would never stoop so low… Then again… Kougu stifled an irritable sigh and pushed the bitter thoughts of his father out of his mind, then turned his attention back to Jimmy. The boy reminded him of a snake. A big, thick, ugly python that wrapped itself around its victims and constricted them until its grip was so tight that they had no choice but to do its bidding… Or become its prey. With a snake, it was usually the latter. With Jimmy…? Kougu supposed he would wait and see, though he doubted Jimmy’s plans would run as smoothly as he hoped… Kougu was sure that he would get in the way. A lot. After all, failure was not an option, therefore he would simply have to do anything and everything to succeed. Success, or death. Those were his options, yet he had decided that death must wait until his goals were accomplished, which left one simple fact: He had to succeed. It didn’t matter how, when or why, but he had to succeed.
Kougu’s eyes darted toward Jimmy again as he began to speak, a mocking tone to his voice. As he walked toward Charlie and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, Kougu observed with a detached air that she did not seem particularly pleased by his actions. He would probably have launched into a protective rage at the sight of her displeasure, but he had to think ahead, and thinking ahead told him that she would suffer far more if he allowed himself to snap. Though it felt like a part of his soul was dying, Kougu ignored Charlie’s obvious discomfort and chose not to act upon it. Instead, he watched Jimmy, and heeded his words. Back away. He could do that. As for the rest, well… He was not letting Charlie out of his sight, so he certainly hoped that Jimmy would accept a compromise.
Kougu took a step back, raising his hands as though in submission and hiding all expression in his face – leaving his body language to suggest unthreatening placidity. “Right you are.” Kougu replied, taking care to form his words ‘carelessly’ and keep them as simple and ‘common’ as he could. “But I don’t really like the idea of leaving you alone with her.” Kougu admitted with a slightly apologetic tone. Okay, so he was already sort of failing with negotiation, but if violence was unavoidable, he had a plan for that… Still, he had to do his best to keep the peace here… He didn’t want to hurt anybody… He couldn’t stand it. “After all, she doesn’t seem to think she belongs to you, so wouldn’t you do better going after somebody who could appreciate what you offer?” Kougu suggested fairly, taking care to keep himself as ‘uninvolved’ as possible. Jimmy was doing this to get to him… He could see it… If he thought it wasn’t working, then hopefully he would leave Charlie in peace – at least for the time being. “If there’s something else you need, maybe I could help you get it, because what it is to me is that I really just don’t want any trouble for me, or her.” Kougu explained, his grammatical errors seeming to burn his throat and his simplistic words stabbing at his lips. Wow, this was more difficult than he had thought… He hated it. It felt as though he was being somebody completely different, and he certainly didn’t need another personality…
Kougu pointedly averted his gaze and ignored Charlie. He didn’t want to pose a threat, so he could not have himself feeling protective, not even slightly. If it was money that Jimmy wanted, then Kougu could simply buy him off, and truck the load of them off to prison on his own time. The wouldn’t bother him in the slightest… Yet if he looked at Charlie and saw once again the humiliation in her eyes, he knew that he would be tempted to forcibly remove her from Jimmy’s clutches, and that would probably lead to violence, which could lead to all sorts of troubles. One thing was for sure… Whether now, or some time in the near future, he was going to make sure that this gang paid for their sins. He hoped they would enjoy their freedom… It was not going to last long. They could take the prison cell that Charlie’s absence had left empty. Kougu glanced over at Jimmy, waiting patiently for his response. His face showed no expression, and he kept his body language submissive. The fight was on… In flawless irony. He would outsmart this puffed-up peacock without even letting him know it was happening. How was that for superiority? If only he could figure out the right things to say to do that… Words had always failed him when he needed them most…
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Fri Sep 10, 2010 3:18 pm
It seemed Kougu hadn't done too bad so far, although I wasn't keeping my hopes up. From my point what came around the corner was unknown, I was blind and therefore I knew nothing more than what was already going on. I just wished to my heart that Kougu would try and keep whatever he was doing up, since I personally wasn't enjoying the prospect of being forced into someone's arms whom I hated the guts of - and who also had shockingly bad breath. It didn't matter to me how good looking Jimmy was, I had liked him once. Once. But that feeling passed almost quicker than it came. Seriously, when you realise how over-the-top he can be with who he's with, you lose interest altogether. But in his eyes when your with him you're his property. His property. It doesn't matter what you say or do, what he says, goes. You could tell him it's over, he'd pull you in and tell you that it's not, that it's not over until he's says so himself. Then he'd plant one on you right In front of everyone, and even if you struggle you know there's no point trying. Because you can never win against Jimmy Mackintosh. And it's a waste of time and energy to think any different. I'd know that...well, by personal experience.
Yes, I know he's a good couple of years older than me. And he's not a fantastic role model. But I was alone, needed someone to hold me, and the idea sounded good at the time. Don't worry. I sooner regretted ever even thinking such things. Trust me, it was one hell of a mistake. If you'd have known what he was like with me back then, you would have understood why I let him force me to stay with him for so long. A year and a half, to be exact. It was like being back home, facing the fists, the boots in the stomach, the ice cold glares... but this time it was outside, on the streets, and there were about a dozen times the amount of people watching me, laughing at me than ever before. It was almost as if it was worse than back at home...? Wait, what was I thinking? Of course it wasn't as bad as back home! Nothing could be as bad as that... Nothing could add up to the grief that miserable bag gave me during her mood swings. And what was her excuse? Because 'I deserved it'. I deserved it. But did she ever realise it was her pills and her food she gave me a beating over? Of course it didn't. I just got whatever she thought I deserved. That day, which was never really much. I scowled at the thought, forcing it back out of my mind. There was a time and place to think about that], and there, at that moment, was neither. Feeling the grip around my waist tighten, my thin pale lips pulled into a small wince as I felt my head be forced towards Jimmy's side. No matter how much I struggled, I felt inferior compared to someone as tall, lean and strong as Jimmy here, and I knew I had no chance. Kougu's words echoed through my brain, forcing my mind back to the present, where Kougu... Well, actually Kougu wasn't doing too badly for now, but whether he managed to keep it up all depended on how far Jimmy was prepared to go to push his luck. And (xD) since he'd only just seen me and already he'd made physical contact, whatever 'pushing his luck' truly meant, I dreaded to know. All I knew was, for now, I was going to be like a sitting duck on the receiving end.
“But I don’t really like the idea of leaving you alone with her. After all, she doesn’t seem to think she belongs to you, so wouldn’t you do better going after somebody who could appreciate what you offer?” Your darn right, my friend, I thought with a tiny scowl. There was no way on this earth that would make me believe I was his property, but it wasn't like I had any say on the subject, did it? I was the centre of it all, it was all about me, but what I thought on what they were talking about meant nothing. How was that for useless? It was like telling a gerbil to go stop a cat fight, seriously! Even if so much as attempted to stop all this, no matter how in-depth it became, if I screamed and yelled at the top of my voice, if I threw myself on the floor and had a paddy, it would still make no difference. How many times had I been put in this position? Too many, that's all I knew. Far too many for my liking. If there’s something else you need, maybe I could help you get it, because what it is to me is that I really just don’t want any trouble for me, or her.” Was that a secret little threat peeking out of the shadows, there? He'd said he didn't want any trouble for him, so did that mean...? Nah, I must have imagined it. Even something as subtle as that would have been picked out by His Majesty, even if he was a half-wit. I suddenly found myself being shuffled forward, although I found out momentarily I was simply following Jimmy's steps towards Kougu. A step into, I noticed, Kougu's personal space. My lips pulled into an uncomfortable grimace. This wasn't going to go too well. Should I warn him? Or let him be pummelled by his opponent with me in the middle of it?
“Er...Jim?” I tried, although my voice didn't come out as much more than an inaudible squeak. Oh, so great. Now my voice was leaving me? Okay, if Jimmy got pummelled it would be on my conscience for not being physically able to warn him. The word 'useless' just got pushed up a whole new level.
“Well, it's none of your business mate. So but out of it” Jimmy snarled, narrowing his eyes threateningly. He always did that to make himself look tougher, but I personally think the whole 'gang' thing was threatening enough. Personally, I think he just felt that because Kougu was being so reasonable, he couldn't think of a better way to react, so he over-did it altogether, just to make sure he did it right. Oh yeah, I knew him, all too well. Plus, I thought the whole find-someone-you-won't-be-wasting-your-time-on got to him, since he'd always struggled to find someone who honestly loved him for who he was -although in my opinion all he had to do was shave, wash, and for goodness' sake brush his teeth and get that deathly smell out of his teeth. Then he'd be raising his chances by about...one in fifty as opposed to one in one-hundred. Still, it made a difference, didn't it? Of he stopped looking down at us girls and using us as punch bags...
“All I need is my girl here, and everything she promised to get me everything I need” his face lowered down to my cheek, and I found myself unable to breathe, in case I inhaled any toxic fumes. “Because she knows exactly what happens if I don't get it, don't you babes?”
I looked away. The term 'I know where you live' came up very often in Jimmy's vocabulary, and I knew better than to question his power over the streets as soon as the sun went down. The police went home, or back to the office, the city slept, and the streets were his. He could do whatever he pleased. Even if it included his hand around a small little match and a splash of highly flammable liquid... Oh yeah, I knew exactly what happened if I didn't give him what he wanted. One thing was for definite, I wouldn't have a home to go back to if I didn't give him exactly what he wanted.
I tensed suddenly as Jimmy's lips trailed over my flushed cheek, feeling the dark stubbles of his short beard scraping against my soft skin. He had done that one thing that night after an argument with my mother, the night that caused me to fear him almost as much as I feared my own death. At the time it had made me tremble at his touch, so much that I loved him for it. But what had happened later on had changed my opinion of him altogether. Now he was doing it again, it was bringing back those horrific memories, sending a cold chill running down my spine. It was another one of his clever plans, to show his power over me. He was trying to make it obvious that he was one to be feared, even though Kougu wasn't yet showing any sign of competition towards him. He'd barely even touched him. But I wasn't going to keep my hopes up too much, not if this was going to progress as much as it was doing now. “Everything I need, I will get” Jimmy's voice hummed as his lips slowly made their way up to my temple, where they lingered for a moment or two until he slowly retreated them from my skin and looked back at Kougu. I was glad, to be honest. I could have choked on the stench coming from his hot breath. Seriously, would it kill him to brush them once in a while?
Yes, I know he's a good couple of years older than me. And he's not a fantastic role model. But I was alone, needed someone to hold me, and the idea sounded good at the time. Don't worry. I sooner regretted ever even thinking such things. Trust me, it was one hell of a mistake. If you'd have known what he was like with me back then, you would have understood why I let him force me to stay with him for so long. A year and a half, to be exact. It was like being back home, facing the fists, the boots in the stomach, the ice cold glares... but this time it was outside, on the streets, and there were about a dozen times the amount of people watching me, laughing at me than ever before. It was almost as if it was worse than back at home...? Wait, what was I thinking? Of course it wasn't as bad as back home! Nothing could be as bad as that... Nothing could add up to the grief that miserable bag gave me during her mood swings. And what was her excuse? Because 'I deserved it'. I deserved it. But did she ever realise it was her pills and her food she gave me a beating over? Of course it didn't. I just got whatever she thought I deserved. That day, which was never really much. I scowled at the thought, forcing it back out of my mind. There was a time and place to think about that], and there, at that moment, was neither. Feeling the grip around my waist tighten, my thin pale lips pulled into a small wince as I felt my head be forced towards Jimmy's side. No matter how much I struggled, I felt inferior compared to someone as tall, lean and strong as Jimmy here, and I knew I had no chance. Kougu's words echoed through my brain, forcing my mind back to the present, where Kougu... Well, actually Kougu wasn't doing too badly for now, but whether he managed to keep it up all depended on how far Jimmy was prepared to go to push his luck. And (xD) since he'd only just seen me and already he'd made physical contact, whatever 'pushing his luck' truly meant, I dreaded to know. All I knew was, for now, I was going to be like a sitting duck on the receiving end.
“But I don’t really like the idea of leaving you alone with her. After all, she doesn’t seem to think she belongs to you, so wouldn’t you do better going after somebody who could appreciate what you offer?” Your darn right, my friend, I thought with a tiny scowl. There was no way on this earth that would make me believe I was his property, but it wasn't like I had any say on the subject, did it? I was the centre of it all, it was all about me, but what I thought on what they were talking about meant nothing. How was that for useless? It was like telling a gerbil to go stop a cat fight, seriously! Even if so much as attempted to stop all this, no matter how in-depth it became, if I screamed and yelled at the top of my voice, if I threw myself on the floor and had a paddy, it would still make no difference. How many times had I been put in this position? Too many, that's all I knew. Far too many for my liking. If there’s something else you need, maybe I could help you get it, because what it is to me is that I really just don’t want any trouble for me, or her.” Was that a secret little threat peeking out of the shadows, there? He'd said he didn't want any trouble for him, so did that mean...? Nah, I must have imagined it. Even something as subtle as that would have been picked out by His Majesty, even if he was a half-wit. I suddenly found myself being shuffled forward, although I found out momentarily I was simply following Jimmy's steps towards Kougu. A step into, I noticed, Kougu's personal space. My lips pulled into an uncomfortable grimace. This wasn't going to go too well. Should I warn him? Or let him be pummelled by his opponent with me in the middle of it?
“Er...Jim?” I tried, although my voice didn't come out as much more than an inaudible squeak. Oh, so great. Now my voice was leaving me? Okay, if Jimmy got pummelled it would be on my conscience for not being physically able to warn him. The word 'useless' just got pushed up a whole new level.
“Well, it's none of your business mate. So but out of it” Jimmy snarled, narrowing his eyes threateningly. He always did that to make himself look tougher, but I personally think the whole 'gang' thing was threatening enough. Personally, I think he just felt that because Kougu was being so reasonable, he couldn't think of a better way to react, so he over-did it altogether, just to make sure he did it right. Oh yeah, I knew him, all too well. Plus, I thought the whole find-someone-you-won't-be-wasting-your-time-on got to him, since he'd always struggled to find someone who honestly loved him for who he was -although in my opinion all he had to do was shave, wash, and for goodness' sake brush his teeth and get that deathly smell out of his teeth. Then he'd be raising his chances by about...one in fifty as opposed to one in one-hundred. Still, it made a difference, didn't it? Of he stopped looking down at us girls and using us as punch bags...
“All I need is my girl here, and everything she promised to get me everything I need” his face lowered down to my cheek, and I found myself unable to breathe, in case I inhaled any toxic fumes. “Because she knows exactly what happens if I don't get it, don't you babes?”
I looked away. The term 'I know where you live' came up very often in Jimmy's vocabulary, and I knew better than to question his power over the streets as soon as the sun went down. The police went home, or back to the office, the city slept, and the streets were his. He could do whatever he pleased. Even if it included his hand around a small little match and a splash of highly flammable liquid... Oh yeah, I knew exactly what happened if I didn't give him what he wanted. One thing was for definite, I wouldn't have a home to go back to if I didn't give him exactly what he wanted.
I tensed suddenly as Jimmy's lips trailed over my flushed cheek, feeling the dark stubbles of his short beard scraping against my soft skin. He had done that one thing that night after an argument with my mother, the night that caused me to fear him almost as much as I feared my own death. At the time it had made me tremble at his touch, so much that I loved him for it. But what had happened later on had changed my opinion of him altogether. Now he was doing it again, it was bringing back those horrific memories, sending a cold chill running down my spine. It was another one of his clever plans, to show his power over me. He was trying to make it obvious that he was one to be feared, even though Kougu wasn't yet showing any sign of competition towards him. He'd barely even touched him. But I wasn't going to keep my hopes up too much, not if this was going to progress as much as it was doing now. “Everything I need, I will get” Jimmy's voice hummed as his lips slowly made their way up to my temple, where they lingered for a moment or two until he slowly retreated them from my skin and looked back at Kougu. I was glad, to be honest. I could have choked on the stench coming from his hot breath. Seriously, would it kill him to brush them once in a while?
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Sat Sep 11, 2010 11:15 am
Kougu waited but a short while for Jimmy's response, and when Jimmy began to move closer to him, the boy's foul odour struck his nostrils in full force. Wow... And he had thought that he would smell bad after skipping his morning shower... This gave an entire new definition to the word 'stink'. Kougu had never dealt well with uncleanliness or impurity. There was one aspect he had inherited from his father that he was not desperate to deny. When something that smelled like a combination of rotting meat and untreated sewerage moved toward him, his patience was reduced to less than zero. This kid needed to learn a lesson, but Kougu was not a teacher, far from it. Nope, he figured he'd leave that up to the clump of other prisoners who actually were rather tough and intimidating, not just pretending to be. No, Jimmy here was certainly not important enough to be his victim. It was like a sheep dressing up as a wolf. They could run around and scare all the other sheep as much as they wanted to, but when it came down to it, they still wouldn't have fangs to bite with, and they would still be caught out in the end. Yes, that was life. When somebody with a higher rank appeared, the world shifted in their favour. What was he doing, letting a pointless ant like Jimmy push him around? Simple... He had always let people push him around. He was simply like that, and just as well, else he might have been following exactly in his father's footsteps, and if there was one thing the world didn't need, it was a duplicate of that man.
A shudder ran through Kougu as he became aware of Jimmy moving toward him, and for the first time he felt a flash of truly sincere fury. How dare he?! How dare he put Charlie in danger like that?! If he wanted to risk his own neck in getting closer to him, Kougu, then that was Jimmy's own problem - but to drag Charlie along with him?! She had the sense to know it was a bad, bad idea and her squeaking protest proved it. If Jimmy wanted to put himself at Kougu's mercy, risk his own life, fine. But he was not endangering Charlie. Kougu felt the hair on the back of his neck rise slightly, prickling his skin, and was suddenly aware of the blood rushing through his veins and pounding in his ears. Yes, he was angry now, and it was all he could do to contain himself and keep from lunging at Jimmy like a frenzied beast. Then, Jimmy spoke, and Kougu felt complete calm steal over him - his anger replaced by boiling hatred. None of his business? Ha! Okay, that was it. Negotiation was pointless with this sort of cocky idiot. He had known all along that it would come down to this. People like Jimmy spoke with their fists. If he wanted to brawl about like a troll, let him. Kougu was done negotiating with an infant. It was simply a waste of his time and effort, since Jimmy was not going to listen, no matter what he said. "None of my business?" Kougu repeated coolly, raising his eyebrows as he spoke. "Quite the contrary, fool. This is my business." Kougu stated simply, abandoning all pretense of stupidity to speak in a crystal clear tone. He would make Jimmy feel inferior, regardless of the consequences. Even if it caused him to inflate his temper, by the time he'd spewed out all that savage air, he'd end up limp and floppy as a wet rag. A single pin could pop a balloon, no matter how big, and from Jimmy's threatening stare Kougu could tell that the boy was simply full of hot air. There was nothing real there. The gang? Pft! He had taken on bigger ones in his sleep, literally. Of course, the fact that what happened here would be on his conscience complicated matters, as he knew he would not be able to let slip an intentional killing blow and still live with himself afterwards. Tricky, tricky, tricky... What a great brain teaser he had come across!
Kougu glanced back at Jimmy as he spoke again, and he felt his jaw gradually tightening until his teeth seemed to drive one another back into his gums. How dare he treat Charlie like that… How dare he threaten her… This was enough! He was not going to stand around and witness such injustice a second longer! It was time to throw caution to the winds once and for all. “Okay, ‘Jimmy’” Kougu began, speaking the boy’s name as an obvious insult, “Charlie is not your girl, understood? Nobody can ever belong to you or anybody else – except by choice. That’s life. Deal with it.” Kougu explained darkly.
He fell silent then for the briefest of moments as he allowed his thoughts to unfurl their wings and take flight – darting through his mind to calculate his actions with inconceivable speed. If this was to work, he could not afford a single error. He had to get Charlie away from Jimmy, for starters. After that, he would just have to rely on the skills his ‘dear father’ had taught him. He had learned his lesson that time… Never again had he failed to dodge an attack. ‘Thanks, Daddy, for boiling away my skin with a laser. Your teaching methods are obviously flawless!’ Kougu had to stifle an incredulous snort at that thought. Still, though his father’s methods had been erratic, Kougu could not deny that they had been effective. He was grateful for it now, despite his bitterness… He would need every skill he had learned, every ounce of his natural-born talent, and the full extent of his brainpower to conquer this one. Well, he had wasted enough time stalling about his thoughts. It was time to plan – and fast. Okay, so Jimmy seemed to be attached to Charlie as surely as his own head was to his shoulders, but even heads could be removed. Roughly. There lay his problem… He was confident tat he could break the pair apart, but what of Charlie? She would surely be hurt by his actions. Probably, she would understand, and not mind, as long as it worked out… But then, what about him? Whether Charlie minded or not was not his predicament. He would mind, and he would feel guilty for hurting her, even if it was necessary to get her to safety. Could he deal with that? He wasn’t sure… He didn’t know if his willpower was strong enough to keep his wits about him after doing something that would certainly cause him great distress. Still, he would just have to force it, and rely on his overdose of medication to bend the odds in his favour. He had no other choice. Right, then! It was decided! Step one: Get Charlie away from Jimmy at all costs. But how? Well… That was where his plan came in. He was ready. He would not fail.
Kougu’s thoughts ceased abruptly as he shoved them aside to bring his plan to the fore of his mind – prepared to execute it with flawless precision.
With an unbelievable speed and accuracy, perfected only from endless hours of training, Kougu calculated his perfect moment – and darted forward as Jimmy blinked – hoping that his reaction time would be slowed enough that Kougu would be in the appropriate position before he even had time to think – let alone act. As he darted toward Jimmy, Kougu slammed his knuckles hard into the ‘Triple Warmer 11’ point – a pressure point just above the elbow that – when struck correctly – would cause such pain to the victim that they would be unable to move their limb. At the exact same moment, Kougu’s other hand flew toward Charlie. His long fingers pinched the gun from her pocket in the same moment that he shoved her aside. He felt in every fiber of his being the force with which he pushed her and guilt sung through the marrows of his bones with such pain that for one heart stopping moment he feared his inhuman speed would be jeopardized. He fought back his remorse with overpowering determination, and his hand darted toward Jimmy, freezing as soon as the barrel of the gun was pressed against the boy’s temple – nestled amongst the greasy strands of his foul hair.
All this came to pass in the space of a heartbeat, and Kougu could not even be sure that his every action had taken effect. He had initiated them so quickly that his mind – slowed by medication – had yet to catch up with his body. Had he managed to hit the pressure point? Had he managed to shove Charlie away from Jimmy? Was Jimmy already part-way through initiating a counter attack, his fist suspended inches from Kougu’s face? Kougu couldn’t be sure, not of anything, but before he wasted another moment on his sluggish thoughts, Kougu’s lips parted and he spoke to Jimmy, responding to the other boy’s cruel, fiendish actions and words. “Trust me on this ‘mate’. You are not in any position to be dealing out threats.” Kougu growled darkly, pressing the cold metal of the gun harder against Jimmy’s skin. “Your words show your ignorance, filth. This is my business. Scum like you are my business.”
“I said I didn’t want trouble – and I meant it – for it would be hopelessly troublesome for me to have to deal with the likes of you, when I have far bigger fish to fry.” Kougu paused for a moment to allow his words to sink in, then concluded his speech with his final offer.
“Come to your senses, leave now, and I shall forgive your actions for the time being and take no action against you. Challenge me, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, which may not be particularly long, to be honest…” Kougu shrugged vaguely, then pressed the gun harder against Jimmy’s head – letting him know that he was not bluffing. He paid no mind to the gang behind him, as he was confident that he could evade any attack they threw at him – even if it meant using Jimmy as a shield… Not that he would do that, since the guilt would be unbearable, but he could always feint… Kougu shook off his thoughts, turning his attention back to Jimmy.
“Well? What’ll it be, ‘mate’?” Kougu asked condescendingly, his tone holding the same calm, darkly threatening tone that he had used with Officer Samuels. Jimmy may not have been bound by the law, but as with all humans, he was bound by fear of death. Kougu was not. That, even he had to agree, was his father’s greatest masterpiece – a true work of art that nobody else had ever truly achieved… Not as he had...
((Sorry about the power play... I tried to avoid it as much as I could, but I couldn't quite manage it, so please just block if you don't like it.
))
A shudder ran through Kougu as he became aware of Jimmy moving toward him, and for the first time he felt a flash of truly sincere fury. How dare he?! How dare he put Charlie in danger like that?! If he wanted to risk his own neck in getting closer to him, Kougu, then that was Jimmy's own problem - but to drag Charlie along with him?! She had the sense to know it was a bad, bad idea and her squeaking protest proved it. If Jimmy wanted to put himself at Kougu's mercy, risk his own life, fine. But he was not endangering Charlie. Kougu felt the hair on the back of his neck rise slightly, prickling his skin, and was suddenly aware of the blood rushing through his veins and pounding in his ears. Yes, he was angry now, and it was all he could do to contain himself and keep from lunging at Jimmy like a frenzied beast. Then, Jimmy spoke, and Kougu felt complete calm steal over him - his anger replaced by boiling hatred. None of his business? Ha! Okay, that was it. Negotiation was pointless with this sort of cocky idiot. He had known all along that it would come down to this. People like Jimmy spoke with their fists. If he wanted to brawl about like a troll, let him. Kougu was done negotiating with an infant. It was simply a waste of his time and effort, since Jimmy was not going to listen, no matter what he said. "None of my business?" Kougu repeated coolly, raising his eyebrows as he spoke. "Quite the contrary, fool. This is my business." Kougu stated simply, abandoning all pretense of stupidity to speak in a crystal clear tone. He would make Jimmy feel inferior, regardless of the consequences. Even if it caused him to inflate his temper, by the time he'd spewed out all that savage air, he'd end up limp and floppy as a wet rag. A single pin could pop a balloon, no matter how big, and from Jimmy's threatening stare Kougu could tell that the boy was simply full of hot air. There was nothing real there. The gang? Pft! He had taken on bigger ones in his sleep, literally. Of course, the fact that what happened here would be on his conscience complicated matters, as he knew he would not be able to let slip an intentional killing blow and still live with himself afterwards. Tricky, tricky, tricky... What a great brain teaser he had come across!
Kougu glanced back at Jimmy as he spoke again, and he felt his jaw gradually tightening until his teeth seemed to drive one another back into his gums. How dare he treat Charlie like that… How dare he threaten her… This was enough! He was not going to stand around and witness such injustice a second longer! It was time to throw caution to the winds once and for all. “Okay, ‘Jimmy’” Kougu began, speaking the boy’s name as an obvious insult, “Charlie is not your girl, understood? Nobody can ever belong to you or anybody else – except by choice. That’s life. Deal with it.” Kougu explained darkly.
He fell silent then for the briefest of moments as he allowed his thoughts to unfurl their wings and take flight – darting through his mind to calculate his actions with inconceivable speed. If this was to work, he could not afford a single error. He had to get Charlie away from Jimmy, for starters. After that, he would just have to rely on the skills his ‘dear father’ had taught him. He had learned his lesson that time… Never again had he failed to dodge an attack. ‘Thanks, Daddy, for boiling away my skin with a laser. Your teaching methods are obviously flawless!’ Kougu had to stifle an incredulous snort at that thought. Still, though his father’s methods had been erratic, Kougu could not deny that they had been effective. He was grateful for it now, despite his bitterness… He would need every skill he had learned, every ounce of his natural-born talent, and the full extent of his brainpower to conquer this one. Well, he had wasted enough time stalling about his thoughts. It was time to plan – and fast. Okay, so Jimmy seemed to be attached to Charlie as surely as his own head was to his shoulders, but even heads could be removed. Roughly. There lay his problem… He was confident tat he could break the pair apart, but what of Charlie? She would surely be hurt by his actions. Probably, she would understand, and not mind, as long as it worked out… But then, what about him? Whether Charlie minded or not was not his predicament. He would mind, and he would feel guilty for hurting her, even if it was necessary to get her to safety. Could he deal with that? He wasn’t sure… He didn’t know if his willpower was strong enough to keep his wits about him after doing something that would certainly cause him great distress. Still, he would just have to force it, and rely on his overdose of medication to bend the odds in his favour. He had no other choice. Right, then! It was decided! Step one: Get Charlie away from Jimmy at all costs. But how? Well… That was where his plan came in. He was ready. He would not fail.
Kougu’s thoughts ceased abruptly as he shoved them aside to bring his plan to the fore of his mind – prepared to execute it with flawless precision.
With an unbelievable speed and accuracy, perfected only from endless hours of training, Kougu calculated his perfect moment – and darted forward as Jimmy blinked – hoping that his reaction time would be slowed enough that Kougu would be in the appropriate position before he even had time to think – let alone act. As he darted toward Jimmy, Kougu slammed his knuckles hard into the ‘Triple Warmer 11’ point – a pressure point just above the elbow that – when struck correctly – would cause such pain to the victim that they would be unable to move their limb. At the exact same moment, Kougu’s other hand flew toward Charlie. His long fingers pinched the gun from her pocket in the same moment that he shoved her aside. He felt in every fiber of his being the force with which he pushed her and guilt sung through the marrows of his bones with such pain that for one heart stopping moment he feared his inhuman speed would be jeopardized. He fought back his remorse with overpowering determination, and his hand darted toward Jimmy, freezing as soon as the barrel of the gun was pressed against the boy’s temple – nestled amongst the greasy strands of his foul hair.
All this came to pass in the space of a heartbeat, and Kougu could not even be sure that his every action had taken effect. He had initiated them so quickly that his mind – slowed by medication – had yet to catch up with his body. Had he managed to hit the pressure point? Had he managed to shove Charlie away from Jimmy? Was Jimmy already part-way through initiating a counter attack, his fist suspended inches from Kougu’s face? Kougu couldn’t be sure, not of anything, but before he wasted another moment on his sluggish thoughts, Kougu’s lips parted and he spoke to Jimmy, responding to the other boy’s cruel, fiendish actions and words. “Trust me on this ‘mate’. You are not in any position to be dealing out threats.” Kougu growled darkly, pressing the cold metal of the gun harder against Jimmy’s skin. “Your words show your ignorance, filth. This is my business. Scum like you are my business.”
“I said I didn’t want trouble – and I meant it – for it would be hopelessly troublesome for me to have to deal with the likes of you, when I have far bigger fish to fry.” Kougu paused for a moment to allow his words to sink in, then concluded his speech with his final offer.
“Come to your senses, leave now, and I shall forgive your actions for the time being and take no action against you. Challenge me, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, which may not be particularly long, to be honest…” Kougu shrugged vaguely, then pressed the gun harder against Jimmy’s head – letting him know that he was not bluffing. He paid no mind to the gang behind him, as he was confident that he could evade any attack they threw at him – even if it meant using Jimmy as a shield… Not that he would do that, since the guilt would be unbearable, but he could always feint… Kougu shook off his thoughts, turning his attention back to Jimmy.
“Well? What’ll it be, ‘mate’?” Kougu asked condescendingly, his tone holding the same calm, darkly threatening tone that he had used with Officer Samuels. Jimmy may not have been bound by the law, but as with all humans, he was bound by fear of death. Kougu was not. That, even he had to agree, was his father’s greatest masterpiece – a true work of art that nobody else had ever truly achieved… Not as he had...
((Sorry about the power play... I tried to avoid it as much as I could, but I couldn't quite manage it, so please just block if you don't like it.
))
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:04 am
I swear, if Kougu hadn't been stood so close to me at that moment, I would have thrown up. There was a certain thin line that couldn't be crossed when it came to bad hygiene, and revolting stinks. Jimmy had crossed that line a long time ago. Now he hadn't just tapped it, he'd smashed right through it and left it shattered at his feet. Seriously! Had something died in there? My lip curled in disgust as I shuffled as far away as I could from him, gagging more and more with every breath of his that wafted through my own nostrils. Hell, who needed mustard gas to kill so many people? All you need is Jimmy to take away your life, and only with one breath, too. It really made me wonder what he'd been keeping as a pet in there, as it smelled like it had suffocated and rotten to nothing in his chops – I say chops, since no human could ever have breath that smelt that bad. But then when my mind actually snapped back to what was going on around me, I sensed something was up. Kougu was moving, I was being dragged out of Jimmy's arms – and I was rather thankful, to be honest – and thrown out of the way onto the side of the road. Oh God...it's starting... I though with a shudder of dread. And it was all going so well... Well, it hadn't. But Kougu had been able to keep himself for that long, and he chose right then to be violent? He'd promised he'd keep himself. He'd promised... A sharp gasp escaped my lips as I looked up into the eyes of the mysterious boy I had met only a few days before, the boy that had taken me in when no one else would, the boy that had me and my mother pardoned after I'd just proven to him exactly how guilty I really was, and not to mention in a matter of minutes. I watched him as he raised his hand and pointed the all-too-familiar shiny black object at Jimmy's head.
It was strange really, the first thing I did was bring my hand to my back jeans pocket where the gun had literally just been How had he managed that so fast? I was so busy trying to keep on my feet I'd barely noticed him take it. How couldn't I have noticed? A frustrated growl rumbled through my lips. I could have kicked myself! He'd got that gun now, goodness knows what he was going to do with it. Had he realised what the odds were? Yes, he was clever – minus the fact he walked into doors, that was an exception – and yes, he was good at self defence. He had a gun, but the bullets were hardly real. They wouldn't do any proper damage, as opposed to Jimmy's guns. His guns weren't made of rubber. They were good, hard, lethal metal. They could kill us. Let's face it, we were outnumbered, out-armed, and no matter how many of them we shot there was always a chance we'd get shot ourselves, and then neither of us would stand a chance. Why couldn't Kougu see that? He was more likely to get us killed by revealing his weapon and pointing it at someone than just letting me be threatened myself and raising his empty hands. I should have just kept my thoughts and feelings to the subject to myself. I should have done a 'Kougu' and hidden everything from my expression. Why had I been so...so expressive? We were both going to die, and it was all my fault. Great, just great!
But wait, nothing was happening. It was like time had frozen itself, and all I could hear was Kougu's speaking, the darkness in his threatening tone and my own heavy breathing. My head shot up. Jimmy's gang had also frozen in their spot, and I could see each and every member's eyes flickering from Jimmy to Kougu, then back to Jimmy. Of course, they didn't have the individuality to think of what to do, they needed instruction. But evidently they couldn't have it, since their leader was in his own little pickle at that moment. I gasped. Jimmy.... What was Jimmy doing? Was he trembling in fear? Was he shaking in rage that someone had finally had him stumped for what to do? The idea made me smile. Jimmy trembling in fear? Ha! That would be a sight to see. I straightened myself up, turning towards the commotion. Kougu was as stiff as cardboard, his eyes seeming black and menacing behind the dark shadow if his jet black hair. “Trust me on this ‘mate’. You are not in any position to be dealing out threats” I heard him growl and there was a quiet crackle as the black metal pressed harder against Jimmy's forehead. My eyes flickered to Kougu's opponent, and it took me a moment or two to realise he was hardly listening. He was bent over slightly, clutching his elbow with his free hand. His lips were twisted into an angry wince, and the colour had drained from his face. But he was still clutching his elbow. I had wondered what Kougu had done to catch someone like Jimmy Mackintosh out so easily, and although I knew it was something to do with his elbow, it still failed to click inside my brain about what he'd done. Had he broken it? Had he his his funny bone? I couldn't help but doubt the idea. Someone like Jimmy would shake of a pain as minor as that. He wasn't letting go of his elbow. Okay, so perhaps I wasn't as clever as I'd wanted, but I was logical. And (xD) the fact that anyone would have a pressure point on their elbow had honestly never occurred to me.
“I said I didn’t want trouble – and I meant it – for it would be hopelessly troublesome for me to have to deal with the likes of you, when I have far bigger fish to fry.” Like what? I thought to myself. What 'bigger fish' he possibly have to deal with? His father? Somehow I didn't think so. Every clue Kougu had given to em about his Father told me he wasn't coming back home. Not now, nor ever. It suddenly occurred to me he probably had simply used the line to prove a point, and hopefully put Jimmy down enough to 'persuade' him to back off, although I personally thought the gun was enough to make him change his mind. “Come to your senses, leave now, and I shall forgive your actions for the time being and take no action against you. Challenge me, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, which may not be particularly long, to be honest…” My eyes widened. Was Kougu serious?? If he killed Jimmy... If he killed Jimmy hell would break out. Everyone would know about it. Not to mention the police... But wait, he was using the gun from my pocket, yes? The gun with the rubber bullets... My lips twitched a smile. Of course he couldn't kill anyone with that gun. That gun couldn't do any more damage other than severe bruising and possible unconsciousness. But of course, Jimmy didn't know that, did he?
I brought my full attention on Jimmy, whose icy blue eyes darted madly in my direction, and it suddenly occurred to me how seriously he was stuck with his options. If he said anything too clever or tried to grab for me, he'd be putting a seriously high risk on his life. He wouldn't live to get to me – of course, he didn't know about the rubber bullets, but I wasn't planning on telling him any time soon – and he wouldn't have enough time to say anything meaningful, other than 'mummy', before his brains were blasted out of his skull in a two seconds flat. His only option was to leave, and I could tell he really didn't want to do that. Even with his life threatened, it would wreck his reputation. To Jimmy, his reputation meant more to him than his life did. He would rather die the idiot he was than live with the reputation of The Guy Who Ran From A Bullet. It was just how he was. His eyes flickered back to Kougu's, and I could see him deciding his fate in his mind. Now who's the one trembling, eh Jimmy? I thought with a smirk, when movement from within the gang came to my attention. Jordan, Jimmy's 'right hand man' - in my opinion anyway, he followed him like a lost puppy twenty-four-seven – grabbed something from his own pocket and pointed it up away from the gang and towards Kougu. The object was not as shiny and new-looking as Kougu's, and it was exceptionally smaller. But I knew more than anyone that gun was no bluff, the bullets weren't made of rubber. They were cold, hard, deadly metal. They were lethal if shot in the right direction. Jordan was no genius but he could flick a trigger just as easily as Kougu could. And he wasn't going to give any warning before he shot someone.
It was then I realised I had to take a stand. There were two men fighting over me, threatening each other's lives over me and I was just sitting back and letting them get on with it! I was sick of standing helplessly by the side lines. Now Kougu was in danger, and he had no means of protecting himself from the bullet. Within a blink of an eye I'd sneaked into the gang and taken a tight grasp of the gun in his hand and yanked it firmly back to his side. Of course, having a similar appearance to the rest of them made me almost like a chameleon in the crowd, so my actions had taken him off balance. He looked down at me, frowning in annoyance. “It won't work” I hissed harshly, glaring back up into his sea-blue eyes. Jordan was mean when he wanted to be, but when he didn't have someone telling him what to do, ie Jimmy, he wasn't as strong willed, so he wasn't quite as furious with me as he would have been if the situation had been any different. I was thankful. “Don't encourage him” I added, slightly more calmly that before, remembering he still thought Jimmy was an any destructive danger. He said nothing, but look back up at Jimmy to see what he was going to do about Kougu's threats. I slowly crept away from him, glad that I had the freedom of doing so without being dragged back into someone's arms, or having the verbal abuse I got from some of them daily. Just this one time, I loved Kougu for using that gun.
“Well, what'll it be 'mate'? Kougu mocked and was followed by a short, thoughtful silence. I shuffled to a stop, not even daring to blink in case I missed any action, in case I wasn't ready for what might be thrown at me. Also, in case Kougu needed my help in anything. But all I heard was a faint, gruff “Come on lads, we're leaving.” And I found my eyes widening in surprise. They were... leaving? Just like that? Surely it couldn't be just like that. Surely... Their was a short pause as Jimmy slowly backed away from Kougu, his expression additionally stiff than it's usual 'tough guy' impression. He was angry, enraged at being made a fol of in front of his entire possy, although he knew he was doing the only thing he could do, and that was walk away empty-handed.”We're done here” he muttered, his voice barely audible from being so unnaturally low with fury. Personally I was surprised he hadn't broken anything yet, like the shop window beside him. My eyebrows shot up, and I looked up at Kougu, my face blank with shock. How the hell had he managed that?
((No prob I understand *nods* I apologize about the twisty thing, you shall have to wait until my next reply to let everything properly fall into place 
))
It was strange really, the first thing I did was bring my hand to my back jeans pocket where the gun had literally just been How had he managed that so fast? I was so busy trying to keep on my feet I'd barely noticed him take it. How couldn't I have noticed? A frustrated growl rumbled through my lips. I could have kicked myself! He'd got that gun now, goodness knows what he was going to do with it. Had he realised what the odds were? Yes, he was clever – minus the fact he walked into doors, that was an exception – and yes, he was good at self defence. He had a gun, but the bullets were hardly real. They wouldn't do any proper damage, as opposed to Jimmy's guns. His guns weren't made of rubber. They were good, hard, lethal metal. They could kill us. Let's face it, we were outnumbered, out-armed, and no matter how many of them we shot there was always a chance we'd get shot ourselves, and then neither of us would stand a chance. Why couldn't Kougu see that? He was more likely to get us killed by revealing his weapon and pointing it at someone than just letting me be threatened myself and raising his empty hands. I should have just kept my thoughts and feelings to the subject to myself. I should have done a 'Kougu' and hidden everything from my expression. Why had I been so...so expressive? We were both going to die, and it was all my fault. Great, just great!
But wait, nothing was happening. It was like time had frozen itself, and all I could hear was Kougu's speaking, the darkness in his threatening tone and my own heavy breathing. My head shot up. Jimmy's gang had also frozen in their spot, and I could see each and every member's eyes flickering from Jimmy to Kougu, then back to Jimmy. Of course, they didn't have the individuality to think of what to do, they needed instruction. But evidently they couldn't have it, since their leader was in his own little pickle at that moment. I gasped. Jimmy.... What was Jimmy doing? Was he trembling in fear? Was he shaking in rage that someone had finally had him stumped for what to do? The idea made me smile. Jimmy trembling in fear? Ha! That would be a sight to see. I straightened myself up, turning towards the commotion. Kougu was as stiff as cardboard, his eyes seeming black and menacing behind the dark shadow if his jet black hair. “Trust me on this ‘mate’. You are not in any position to be dealing out threats” I heard him growl and there was a quiet crackle as the black metal pressed harder against Jimmy's forehead. My eyes flickered to Kougu's opponent, and it took me a moment or two to realise he was hardly listening. He was bent over slightly, clutching his elbow with his free hand. His lips were twisted into an angry wince, and the colour had drained from his face. But he was still clutching his elbow. I had wondered what Kougu had done to catch someone like Jimmy Mackintosh out so easily, and although I knew it was something to do with his elbow, it still failed to click inside my brain about what he'd done. Had he broken it? Had he his his funny bone? I couldn't help but doubt the idea. Someone like Jimmy would shake of a pain as minor as that. He wasn't letting go of his elbow. Okay, so perhaps I wasn't as clever as I'd wanted, but I was logical. And (xD) the fact that anyone would have a pressure point on their elbow had honestly never occurred to me.
“I said I didn’t want trouble – and I meant it – for it would be hopelessly troublesome for me to have to deal with the likes of you, when I have far bigger fish to fry.” Like what? I thought to myself. What 'bigger fish' he possibly have to deal with? His father? Somehow I didn't think so. Every clue Kougu had given to em about his Father told me he wasn't coming back home. Not now, nor ever. It suddenly occurred to me he probably had simply used the line to prove a point, and hopefully put Jimmy down enough to 'persuade' him to back off, although I personally thought the gun was enough to make him change his mind. “Come to your senses, leave now, and I shall forgive your actions for the time being and take no action against you. Challenge me, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, which may not be particularly long, to be honest…” My eyes widened. Was Kougu serious?? If he killed Jimmy... If he killed Jimmy hell would break out. Everyone would know about it. Not to mention the police... But wait, he was using the gun from my pocket, yes? The gun with the rubber bullets... My lips twitched a smile. Of course he couldn't kill anyone with that gun. That gun couldn't do any more damage other than severe bruising and possible unconsciousness. But of course, Jimmy didn't know that, did he?
I brought my full attention on Jimmy, whose icy blue eyes darted madly in my direction, and it suddenly occurred to me how seriously he was stuck with his options. If he said anything too clever or tried to grab for me, he'd be putting a seriously high risk on his life. He wouldn't live to get to me – of course, he didn't know about the rubber bullets, but I wasn't planning on telling him any time soon – and he wouldn't have enough time to say anything meaningful, other than 'mummy', before his brains were blasted out of his skull in a two seconds flat. His only option was to leave, and I could tell he really didn't want to do that. Even with his life threatened, it would wreck his reputation. To Jimmy, his reputation meant more to him than his life did. He would rather die the idiot he was than live with the reputation of The Guy Who Ran From A Bullet. It was just how he was. His eyes flickered back to Kougu's, and I could see him deciding his fate in his mind. Now who's the one trembling, eh Jimmy? I thought with a smirk, when movement from within the gang came to my attention. Jordan, Jimmy's 'right hand man' - in my opinion anyway, he followed him like a lost puppy twenty-four-seven – grabbed something from his own pocket and pointed it up away from the gang and towards Kougu. The object was not as shiny and new-looking as Kougu's, and it was exceptionally smaller. But I knew more than anyone that gun was no bluff, the bullets weren't made of rubber. They were cold, hard, deadly metal. They were lethal if shot in the right direction. Jordan was no genius but he could flick a trigger just as easily as Kougu could. And he wasn't going to give any warning before he shot someone.
It was then I realised I had to take a stand. There were two men fighting over me, threatening each other's lives over me and I was just sitting back and letting them get on with it! I was sick of standing helplessly by the side lines. Now Kougu was in danger, and he had no means of protecting himself from the bullet. Within a blink of an eye I'd sneaked into the gang and taken a tight grasp of the gun in his hand and yanked it firmly back to his side. Of course, having a similar appearance to the rest of them made me almost like a chameleon in the crowd, so my actions had taken him off balance. He looked down at me, frowning in annoyance. “It won't work” I hissed harshly, glaring back up into his sea-blue eyes. Jordan was mean when he wanted to be, but when he didn't have someone telling him what to do, ie Jimmy, he wasn't as strong willed, so he wasn't quite as furious with me as he would have been if the situation had been any different. I was thankful. “Don't encourage him” I added, slightly more calmly that before, remembering he still thought Jimmy was an any destructive danger. He said nothing, but look back up at Jimmy to see what he was going to do about Kougu's threats. I slowly crept away from him, glad that I had the freedom of doing so without being dragged back into someone's arms, or having the verbal abuse I got from some of them daily. Just this one time, I loved Kougu for using that gun.
“Well, what'll it be 'mate'? Kougu mocked and was followed by a short, thoughtful silence. I shuffled to a stop, not even daring to blink in case I missed any action, in case I wasn't ready for what might be thrown at me. Also, in case Kougu needed my help in anything. But all I heard was a faint, gruff “Come on lads, we're leaving.” And I found my eyes widening in surprise. They were... leaving? Just like that? Surely it couldn't be just like that. Surely... Their was a short pause as Jimmy slowly backed away from Kougu, his expression additionally stiff than it's usual 'tough guy' impression. He was angry, enraged at being made a fol of in front of his entire possy, although he knew he was doing the only thing he could do, and that was walk away empty-handed.”We're done here” he muttered, his voice barely audible from being so unnaturally low with fury. Personally I was surprised he hadn't broken anything yet, like the shop window beside him. My eyebrows shot up, and I looked up at Kougu, my face blank with shock. How the hell had he managed that?
((No prob
I understand *nods* I apologize about the twisty thing, you shall have to wait until my next reply to let everything properly fall into place ))
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Thu Sep 16, 2010 11:41 am
As Kougu awaited Jimmy’s response, he felt a powerful degree of tension creeping through his muscles despite his best efforts to deny it. He was concerned as to what might happen if Jimmy called his bluff, though in a way he was not bluffing, for if Jimmy would not back down, there was going to be very little anybody could do but sit around stubbornly like a bunch of toddlers waiting for each other to give up. If that happened, one of them would probably run out of patience at some stage, snap, and kill everybody involved. Kougu had a sneaking suspicion that ‘one’ of them was quite likely to be himself, since he did seem to have a tendency to snap and kill when his patience was drained from him. Then again, he was an abnormally placid and patient sort in most situations, which was somewhat ironic with regards to his actions… And, quite frankly, his criminal record. Still, even more worrying than the prospect of failure and impending doom was the other issue pressing on Kougu’s mind: Charlie’s welfare. Was she hurt? Had she perhaps fallen and twisted an ankle when he shoved her away? Had she hit her head on the road and lost consciousness? Had she been bruised from the force of his shove? And of course, the question ever-present on his mind: Did she hate him? Then again, he supposed that didn’t really matter. As long as she was okay, he was content. At least, that was what he kept telling himself. But was she okay? He desperately wanted to turn around and look, but he did not want to let Jimmy notice that his attention was wavering. Even now, as his thoughts wandered as widely as a flock of sheep, Kougu’s hawk-like gaze remained intent and unwavering upon Jimmy’s foul visage – not offering the slightest indication that he was in fact so preoccupied that he could barely concentrate at all – at least by his abnormally high concentration standards. Still, Jimmy’s attention was still fixed on his elbow, which Kougu knew from experience must have been causing him absolute agony, and he supposed it was probably safe, if unwise, for him to hazard a brief glance in Charlie’s direction. Then again… Was it really worth the risk? It wouldn’t make any difference to Charlie whether he knew if she was safe or not, right? So why did it matter… ? It would put his own mind at rest – that was why it mattered. Of course Charlie was worth the risk! Who else would put up with him being so impossible all the time, and still stand by him even when he wasn’t at his strongest. In fact, Charlie was probably the only person he had trusted enough to show weakness to since… Well, since a long time ago, anyway. The specifics didn’t matter… Kougu repressed a shudder at his unwelcome thoughts, and finally decided that it was in fact in his best interest to throw Charlie a quick glance – and just make sure that she was all right.
Kougu’s dark blue eyes darted momentarily away from his ‘prisoner’ though his head did not move in the slightest – and his hand holding the gun remained perfectly steady – seeming to forsake even its natural human trembling. Kougu let his eyes scan the surrounding area for Charlie, and he soon found that she was standing. Standing, and watching Jimmy and himself. Kougu breathed an inward sigh of relief – though outwardly he remained unmoving – only his eye travelling away from where they should be. Now he looked closer, he noticed that Charlie was in fact… Smirking? That fact made him feel unexpected satisfaction, and he suddenly found the guilt eating away at his tormented mind eased slightly. No doubt Charlie was enjoying seeing Jimmy get what was coming to him… She deserved that satisfaction. Suddenly, Kougu was more determined than ever not to let Jimmy take it away from her. A show off will always be shown up in a showdown. The words drifted through Kougu’s mind, and it was all he could do to keep a smile from curving his lips. He couldn’t recall where he remembered the words from – but they spoke to him now as clearly as they had done back then. Especially now that he was about to prove them true… Jimmy would fail, and he would succeed. That fact was inevitable. All that was left to be decided were the details in between… Kougu only hoped they would not become too complex. He didn’t want to compromise Charlie’s safety, not a chance, and if the ride got too bumpy – there was always a chance that she could get caught up in the middle and become hurt. Kougu would not risk that… Not on his life.
Next thing Kougu knew, Charlie’s head had jerked around like a bloodhound catching a scent, and she prowled off toward the gang. At the same time, he heard the faint, distant click of a gun being loaded – something he had learned to recognize even when it was at a distance that should ordinarily have been out of hearing range. As his father had said, excuses don’t help if you wind up dead. Well, that was one lesson he was grateful he had learned, for it was true. There was no point making excuses, since they would never help out in the big, wide world. He had simply learned to improvise, and to solve his problems in other ways rather than excusing his failures.
Kougu’s eyes darted toward the gang now, and he saw Charlie blend in with the crowd – obviously sneaking off to distract the shooter. For a moment he panicked, and almost considered turning away from Jimmy and dashing off to Charlie – but then logic hit. He had to keep Jimmy in check. That was their only hope… Therefore he had no choice but to trust that Charlie knew what she was doing, and that she would not let herself get hurt. Surely the gang wouldn’t dare try anything while their leader’s life was in danger…? Either way: They could not, under any circumstances, know how worried he was about Charlie. She would be fine… She would be fine… This was the moment he would have to learn to trust – through force. He had no choice but to trust her to look after herself. He wasn’t sure if he could do it, yet he had to.
While inner turmoil raged through his mind, Kougu let his dark blue eyes finally dart back to Jimmy’s face – the rest of his tense body having not moved an inch – not even his expression. He was a master of disguise, at leas when it came to hiding his thoughts. His father had seen to that… It sickened Kougu to realize how grateful he had been feeling toward that man since this situation came into existence. He hated his father for what he had done… He loathed and despised him, yet now those skills were serving him well, and who was he to complain when without them himself and his… friend would probably be dead. Kougu found himself having to reject a frown that attempted to come to his face as he realized how foreign and strange that one simple word still felt upon his mind, yet he could not deny it, Charlie had become his friend. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but she had proved that it was, simple as that. And to his friends, Kougu would show undying loyalty to the end, no matter what the cost for himself. Perhaps that degree of selflessness was a little selfish, for he would allow himself to suffer to save himself the guilt and grief of seeing his friends suffer, yet at the same time – was he not then bundling the grief unto them? Wait… Now what was he thinking? Them? He had only ever had one other friend. That boy had passed into the void a long time ago. Enough! It was time to get his blasted mind back to the present before it drifted too far off track.
Next thing Kougu knew, Jimmy was speaking. Kougu could hardly believe his luck as Jimmy’s words washed over him, but at the same time, he did not doubt his hearing. “A wise choice.” He murmured softly, nodding respectfully to Jimmy and taking a step away, yet keeping the gun pointed at his head – certainly not willing to trust this scum, despite his polite actions. “Wait a minute.” Kougu cautioned a Jimmy began to walk away. His eyes still locked on Jimmy, Kougu spoke again – addressing she who at this moment evaded his sight: That selfsame sweet girl who had peeled him off the floor numerous times when he was on the brink of a breakdown, and helped him to hold on. “Charlie!” Kougu called, “Go home.” He stated firmly. Guilt stabbed through him then, and he turned his attention back to Jimmy. “I don’t mean to dishonor your honesty.” He assured him quietly, “But I think you’ll agree that there is no space for loopholes in this game – they must be closed no matter what the cost.” Kougu nodded politely to Jimmy, clearly having dropped any signs of threat and violence – aside from the gun pointed at the boy’s head. Kougu did not hold a grudge. Jimmy had seen sense, and thus Kougu did not intend to punish him. Whilst he saw Jimmy’s actions as harmless, he neither liked nor disliked the boy any more or less than any other stranger he met on the street – despite what he had done earlier. Kougu had always been forgiving by nature… There was one thing his father hadn’t managed to change… Of course, what Kougu didn’t realize was that his infallible hatred of that man proved otherwise…
Kougu’s dark blue eyes darted momentarily away from his ‘prisoner’ though his head did not move in the slightest – and his hand holding the gun remained perfectly steady – seeming to forsake even its natural human trembling. Kougu let his eyes scan the surrounding area for Charlie, and he soon found that she was standing. Standing, and watching Jimmy and himself. Kougu breathed an inward sigh of relief – though outwardly he remained unmoving – only his eye travelling away from where they should be. Now he looked closer, he noticed that Charlie was in fact… Smirking? That fact made him feel unexpected satisfaction, and he suddenly found the guilt eating away at his tormented mind eased slightly. No doubt Charlie was enjoying seeing Jimmy get what was coming to him… She deserved that satisfaction. Suddenly, Kougu was more determined than ever not to let Jimmy take it away from her. A show off will always be shown up in a showdown. The words drifted through Kougu’s mind, and it was all he could do to keep a smile from curving his lips. He couldn’t recall where he remembered the words from – but they spoke to him now as clearly as they had done back then. Especially now that he was about to prove them true… Jimmy would fail, and he would succeed. That fact was inevitable. All that was left to be decided were the details in between… Kougu only hoped they would not become too complex. He didn’t want to compromise Charlie’s safety, not a chance, and if the ride got too bumpy – there was always a chance that she could get caught up in the middle and become hurt. Kougu would not risk that… Not on his life.
Next thing Kougu knew, Charlie’s head had jerked around like a bloodhound catching a scent, and she prowled off toward the gang. At the same time, he heard the faint, distant click of a gun being loaded – something he had learned to recognize even when it was at a distance that should ordinarily have been out of hearing range. As his father had said, excuses don’t help if you wind up dead. Well, that was one lesson he was grateful he had learned, for it was true. There was no point making excuses, since they would never help out in the big, wide world. He had simply learned to improvise, and to solve his problems in other ways rather than excusing his failures.
Kougu’s eyes darted toward the gang now, and he saw Charlie blend in with the crowd – obviously sneaking off to distract the shooter. For a moment he panicked, and almost considered turning away from Jimmy and dashing off to Charlie – but then logic hit. He had to keep Jimmy in check. That was their only hope… Therefore he had no choice but to trust that Charlie knew what she was doing, and that she would not let herself get hurt. Surely the gang wouldn’t dare try anything while their leader’s life was in danger…? Either way: They could not, under any circumstances, know how worried he was about Charlie. She would be fine… She would be fine… This was the moment he would have to learn to trust – through force. He had no choice but to trust her to look after herself. He wasn’t sure if he could do it, yet he had to.
While inner turmoil raged through his mind, Kougu let his dark blue eyes finally dart back to Jimmy’s face – the rest of his tense body having not moved an inch – not even his expression. He was a master of disguise, at leas when it came to hiding his thoughts. His father had seen to that… It sickened Kougu to realize how grateful he had been feeling toward that man since this situation came into existence. He hated his father for what he had done… He loathed and despised him, yet now those skills were serving him well, and who was he to complain when without them himself and his… friend would probably be dead. Kougu found himself having to reject a frown that attempted to come to his face as he realized how foreign and strange that one simple word still felt upon his mind, yet he could not deny it, Charlie had become his friend. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but she had proved that it was, simple as that. And to his friends, Kougu would show undying loyalty to the end, no matter what the cost for himself. Perhaps that degree of selflessness was a little selfish, for he would allow himself to suffer to save himself the guilt and grief of seeing his friends suffer, yet at the same time – was he not then bundling the grief unto them? Wait… Now what was he thinking? Them? He had only ever had one other friend. That boy had passed into the void a long time ago. Enough! It was time to get his blasted mind back to the present before it drifted too far off track.
Next thing Kougu knew, Jimmy was speaking. Kougu could hardly believe his luck as Jimmy’s words washed over him, but at the same time, he did not doubt his hearing. “A wise choice.” He murmured softly, nodding respectfully to Jimmy and taking a step away, yet keeping the gun pointed at his head – certainly not willing to trust this scum, despite his polite actions. “Wait a minute.” Kougu cautioned a Jimmy began to walk away. His eyes still locked on Jimmy, Kougu spoke again – addressing she who at this moment evaded his sight: That selfsame sweet girl who had peeled him off the floor numerous times when he was on the brink of a breakdown, and helped him to hold on. “Charlie!” Kougu called, “Go home.” He stated firmly. Guilt stabbed through him then, and he turned his attention back to Jimmy. “I don’t mean to dishonor your honesty.” He assured him quietly, “But I think you’ll agree that there is no space for loopholes in this game – they must be closed no matter what the cost.” Kougu nodded politely to Jimmy, clearly having dropped any signs of threat and violence – aside from the gun pointed at the boy’s head. Kougu did not hold a grudge. Jimmy had seen sense, and thus Kougu did not intend to punish him. Whilst he saw Jimmy’s actions as harmless, he neither liked nor disliked the boy any more or less than any other stranger he met on the street – despite what he had done earlier. Kougu had always been forgiving by nature… There was one thing his father hadn’t managed to change… Of course, what Kougu didn’t realize was that his infallible hatred of that man proved otherwise…
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:28 am
“Charlie, go home” The words sang repeatedly through my brain , each syllable hitting my head almost like a series of bullets as I struggled for a moment as the words slowly sunk in. Was that supposed to be an order? Because I was not going to be told what to do like some... some kid. I played a part in this too, hello! This whole scene was about me. Not that I was proud of that. I wanted it to end, of course. But I wasn't going to take orders from anyone, not even Kougu. Hadn't he already seen how stubborn I could be? I wasn't going to be told what to do, even by my only friend. Hadn't I tried that same thing with him, and he'd told me to stop treating him like a dog? So why was he treating me like one? The thought made my fists tighten in frustration. I was not a dog, and I most certainly did not take orders. Not from anyone. Not even people who I trusted. Of course, mum was one exception, but that was it. I wasn't going to take it from anyone. Especially Kougu. Besides, they were leaving. I mean, sure it was a little sudden, but they were leaving, and they weren't going to do anything. Especially with Kougu still aiming that gun at Jimmy's skull. It didn't take an idiot to know not to challenge someone when you were on the receiving end of the bullet, even Jimmy was intelligent enough to keep his trap shut for once in his life. He knew what would happen if he didn't. They weren't going to do anything, and I'd already made sure of that. But I still couldn't get over Kougu's sudden orders to tell me to go home. What was going to do? Blow their heads off anyway? Smash someone's face in? Get his own brains blasted out of his skull? Because whatever he did, at least one of those would be how all this would end up. Whether I was there or not. But wait, what was I thinking? I was here to stop this, of course I was! I wasn't leaving him to attempt to destroy yet more lives – and believe me, he would only go as far as 'attempting' if he tried to go any further with his actions. Hell, catastrophe would strike if I left him there to do as he pleased with that gun, and it wouldn't be long before the gang realised his bullets weren't lethal. No, all he had to do was bring all this to a close and let us all get on our way. Before anything really kicked off. I was not going to take his dog-like commands, whether he liked it or not. I wasn't leaving him. End of. “I'm not going without you” I answered stubbornly, looking him up and down in annoyance. He thought he could get rid of me that easily? It would take more than the hardness in his voice to make me leave without him beside me. I couldn't help but feel like it was if he was throwing himself into a pool of sharks with only a plastic knife to defend himself with, alongside his bare hands. He had no chance. And he was telling me to leave him alone? “I'm leaving alongside you, or not at all. Kougu?” My face fell. He wasn't even listening. His eyes were locked on Jimmy, his hand holding the gun firmly by his head. He certainly wasn't giving in yet, even if Jimmy had. Apparently. “Kougu” I repeated, then slumped away from him, deciding he wasn't going to listen to me anyway. He had bigger things to bother with.
“I don’t mean to dishonor your honesty” Kougu was saying, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. What was the point?? Was he stalling? Because personally I wanted to get out of there with him as quickly as possible. I'd heard of these gun fights on the streets and people ending up dead, but I'd not actually witnessed it for myself. And hopefully, I wouldn't have to. Not if we got away before things really did get out of hand. “But I think you’ll agree that there is no space for loopholes in this game – they must be closed no matter what the cost.” Wait a minute, what was he even talking about? Loopholes.. What loopholes? I didn't even know. I wasn't listening, just letting my eyes trail from Kougu as he spoke, to Jimmy, who was still backing away slowly, the colour drained from his face from how antagonized he felt from being made a fool of in front of all those who feared him, who followed him, who looked up to him – not that there was much to look up to. At first it had made me want to smile, but now I was beginning to think he wasn't going to simply walk away from this like he'd first made us both think.
Jimmy Mackintosh looked his opponent right in the eye as he slowly retreated his crew, not even letting his gaze slip once towards the point of the gun that was still pointing directly at his head. Honestly, it was really the only thing that was keeping him from sending a tightly clenched fist right into the guy's jaw. He could not believe he'd been manipulated so, and right in front of the gang! Not to mention that scrawny female he was supposed to be going out with... Who was supposed to fear him. Everyone used to fear him, and he like it. It meant he could sit back and watch everyone do his work for him, serve him, look up to him for instruction. But now... now he'd been showed up so much, he'd lose it all. He was supposed to be king of the town, of the streets. He was the predator stalking the night. Charlie was supposed to be his prey... His prey. Not this scraggy goth-like boy who was threatening him. No one threatened Jimmy Mackintosh. No one! Yet this male had done just that. He'd humiliated him. Hard luck. But he wasn't going to let him get away with this. His jaw clenched for a moment as the opposition spoke to him and raised his chin, noticing his steps lengthen as he slowly came to a street corner. Perfect timing. “Yeah, whatever Sonny Jim” He yelled down the street towards the two, feeling every step that took him further away from that gun, another step forward he took with his confidence. That gun would be off his head as soon as he turned that corner, but he couldn't rush it. That would end up giving it all away. “You can have the nun” he cheered, waving off Kougu's words with a flick of his hand. He had no idea what they meant, anyway. “She ain't my type” he smirked, shaking his head in amusement as his words were followed by a chorus of laughter behind him. Aha, so he was already gaining back his status. But there was one more thing left to do. His lips creased an amused grin as he gave the tall male a cheeky, secretive wink and disappeared around the corner.
My eyebrows drew together at Jimmy's comment. Nun? Was that meant to be an insult? In Jimmy's eyes it was, I could always tell by the way he said things what he thought of it all. He was calling me frigid, but instead used his own choice of words. I was so not frigid! Well, I had been with him, just because, ya know, of the way he treated me. Personally I don't think he'd ever heard of the Women's Rights Movement, as I meant as much to him as a speck of dirt. And yet he could never seem to want to let me go.
And now he'd seen his competition, and things were going to go from bad to worse. I just knew it. His confidence had grown rapidly when he'd noticed himself nearing the street corner, and even with Kougu pointing that gun at him he'd seemed so damned over-confident it was like he was hiding something. It was like he had a plan. My head shook at the thought. Jimmy didn't have the intelligence to make a plan, other than beating someone's face in. His IQ was so low you'd have to go down a gold mine to find it, so what on earth had been going through his mind as he disappeared around that corner? Something just wasn't quite right. In a flash I had spun back to Kougu, and my heart was already beginning to punch at my chest. Something was telling me not to hang around there any more. “Kougu, can we go?” I asked, my voice suddenly shaking in desperation. “I just don't want to stay here any longer...”
”Where're you going?” Jimmy hissed as soon as he was confident that they could not be heard.
Jordan blinked at him, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “I thought we were leaving...” he answered slowly, not able to pick up the hint in Jimmy's tone. They weren't going anywhere.
“You think I'm gunna just sit back and let them go without getting my own back on 'em?” Jimmy raised his eyebrows, leaning back coolly on the wall beside him. Of course he had it sorted. Jimmy was known for being a man of his word, at the best of times, anyway. He said they were leaving, and at the time they were. But why walk away empty handed when a plan was brewing in his mind? Besides, he'd probably...hopefully never see that Kougu guy again, but Charlie? Well, that was a completely different matter. The point was, he wouldn't have the chance to do this again and give it the same impact as it did then. He had to do it whilst the two were still on the street, and whilst the streets were silent. He didn't want the police after him for the thousandth time that week, he'd had enough of them sniffing around him like German Shepherds again, as he'd had his freedom threatened enough times to know that the cops weren't going to let him off again, that this time it would be a life sentence, not just a fine and a little note on his record. He had to do this right.
Jimmy leant forwards and snatched the small handgun from Jordan's palm. His friend stared at him in horror, his eyes flicking to the other gang members and back to Jimmy. “What're you doing?” he hissed furiously. “Didn't you see the thing that guy had aimed at your head? You'll be a dead man if you show your face again back there again!” Jordan's eyes were flashing at the foolish idea but it only made Jimmy smile.
“Would you relax? Believe me, I've got it sorted. Listen, he's got one gun, we've got three. There are two of them, and there are what, eight...nine of us? Do the math, mate” he gave his friend a firm slap on the back and peered around the corner at Charlie and her new mop-haired friend. He'd stolen Jimmy's girl, threatened his life, and taken the absolute Micky out of him in front of the whole gang. Now, he was going to get him back. Big style. Jimmy smiled to himself, rose one arm containing the gun and pointed it towards the dark-haired boy's head. Scum, am I? he thought to himself. Filth? Now who's not in the position to be making out threats? Believe me mate, I'm not nicknamed 'The King of the Street' for nothing. Charlie is my girl, and don't worry, I'll make sure to take good care of her when she doesn't have anywhere left to go. I make personally sure that she doesn't have anywhere left to go, after this. No one...no one humiliates Jimmy Mackintosh and gets away with it. Say your prayers, Sonny. You won't live to see them answered.
“Go to hell” he mutters, and pulls the trigger.
I knew something hadn't been right, I just knew it! As soon as I'd seen the dark flash of Jimmy's all-too-familiar hooded jacket appear from behind the brick wall... He should have gone home! Or, of course, what he counted as home. That cardboard box in the edge of town. I barely saw him in it anymore. But, really! I should have just warned Kougu and got him home before any of this could get out of hand. But that was it, wasn't it? He had sensed something was going to happen, which was exactly why he'd told me to go home. But I was glad I'd disobeyed him, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have been able to shove him out of the way as soon as I'd seen that shiny black object appear from among the shadows. I have to say, I was sick of seeing those things. Seriously, if I saw one more gun...
I felt a sharp pain hit my right shoulder and before I could stop myself, I let out a loud yelp escape my pale lips.
That hurt.
My god that hurt.
What the hell had just hit me? I sank to my knees, clutching the blood-soaked wound just under my collar bone. Thick crimson liquid oozed from between my fingers, and I let out another painful cry. So this was what it felt like to get shot. Was this what it felt like to die? Was I dying? I really hoped not. Too much had happened in the past couple of days for it to end with my death. I had far too many plans. Besides, what a crap way to die! Stuck in a middle of a gun fight over me. The headlines flashed in my mind. “YOUNG GIRL SHOT DEAD BY STREET CORNER IN GANG WAR” Seriously? I wanted to die in a mansion, surrounded by trees, where there were no streets, no gangs, no sky scrapers, no police. Just me, my house, and the quiet song of the wild surrounding my home. I wanted to die of old age, not bleeding to death outside a corner shop I'd only just been given the right to set foot in after six long years of stealing from it. Things were just starting to go well for me, as well. Darkness was the only thing I could see, and I let out a final cry as I felt the cold hit the soft skin on my palm. All I could see was blackness. Had I died already?
Jimmy's eyes narrowed as the gun's blast echoed throughout the streets and Charlie sank to the ground. He'd missed. How could he miss? What dope missed a shot like that? The guy's head was big enough to shoot from a mile away. How could he have managed to shoot Charlie instead? And nowhere near her head, either! No, it was her shoulder. Her flippin' shoulder! He had to use that gun a little more often, get some practice with it. His arm raised again, but his hand was still shaking from the after-affects of the gun's powerful shot, and the vibration of the gun's fire had set shock to go up his whole arm, leaving him completely unable to shoot. He couldn't risk it. He let out a long sigh, looking down at the weapon in his hand and felt a hand tap him on the shoulder. “Come on, bobbys'll be 'ere soon” It was Jordan, looking out for him, once again. Jimmy nodded, handing his friend back his gun and gave Charlie one last look of disgust before turning, and speeding off down the alleyway.
“I don’t mean to dishonor your honesty” Kougu was saying, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. What was the point?? Was he stalling? Because personally I wanted to get out of there with him as quickly as possible. I'd heard of these gun fights on the streets and people ending up dead, but I'd not actually witnessed it for myself. And hopefully, I wouldn't have to. Not if we got away before things really did get out of hand. “But I think you’ll agree that there is no space for loopholes in this game – they must be closed no matter what the cost.” Wait a minute, what was he even talking about? Loopholes.. What loopholes? I didn't even know. I wasn't listening, just letting my eyes trail from Kougu as he spoke, to Jimmy, who was still backing away slowly, the colour drained from his face from how antagonized he felt from being made a fool of in front of all those who feared him, who followed him, who looked up to him – not that there was much to look up to. At first it had made me want to smile, but now I was beginning to think he wasn't going to simply walk away from this like he'd first made us both think.
Jimmy Mackintosh looked his opponent right in the eye as he slowly retreated his crew, not even letting his gaze slip once towards the point of the gun that was still pointing directly at his head. Honestly, it was really the only thing that was keeping him from sending a tightly clenched fist right into the guy's jaw. He could not believe he'd been manipulated so, and right in front of the gang! Not to mention that scrawny female he was supposed to be going out with... Who was supposed to fear him. Everyone used to fear him, and he like it. It meant he could sit back and watch everyone do his work for him, serve him, look up to him for instruction. But now... now he'd been showed up so much, he'd lose it all. He was supposed to be king of the town, of the streets. He was the predator stalking the night. Charlie was supposed to be his prey... His prey. Not this scraggy goth-like boy who was threatening him. No one threatened Jimmy Mackintosh. No one! Yet this male had done just that. He'd humiliated him. Hard luck. But he wasn't going to let him get away with this. His jaw clenched for a moment as the opposition spoke to him and raised his chin, noticing his steps lengthen as he slowly came to a street corner. Perfect timing. “Yeah, whatever Sonny Jim” He yelled down the street towards the two, feeling every step that took him further away from that gun, another step forward he took with his confidence. That gun would be off his head as soon as he turned that corner, but he couldn't rush it. That would end up giving it all away. “You can have the nun” he cheered, waving off Kougu's words with a flick of his hand. He had no idea what they meant, anyway. “She ain't my type” he smirked, shaking his head in amusement as his words were followed by a chorus of laughter behind him. Aha, so he was already gaining back his status. But there was one more thing left to do. His lips creased an amused grin as he gave the tall male a cheeky, secretive wink and disappeared around the corner.
My eyebrows drew together at Jimmy's comment. Nun? Was that meant to be an insult? In Jimmy's eyes it was, I could always tell by the way he said things what he thought of it all. He was calling me frigid, but instead used his own choice of words. I was so not frigid! Well, I had been with him, just because, ya know, of the way he treated me. Personally I don't think he'd ever heard of the Women's Rights Movement, as I meant as much to him as a speck of dirt. And yet he could never seem to want to let me go.
And now he'd seen his competition, and things were going to go from bad to worse. I just knew it. His confidence had grown rapidly when he'd noticed himself nearing the street corner, and even with Kougu pointing that gun at him he'd seemed so damned over-confident it was like he was hiding something. It was like he had a plan. My head shook at the thought. Jimmy didn't have the intelligence to make a plan, other than beating someone's face in. His IQ was so low you'd have to go down a gold mine to find it, so what on earth had been going through his mind as he disappeared around that corner? Something just wasn't quite right. In a flash I had spun back to Kougu, and my heart was already beginning to punch at my chest. Something was telling me not to hang around there any more. “Kougu, can we go?” I asked, my voice suddenly shaking in desperation. “I just don't want to stay here any longer...”
”Where're you going?” Jimmy hissed as soon as he was confident that they could not be heard.
Jordan blinked at him, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. “I thought we were leaving...” he answered slowly, not able to pick up the hint in Jimmy's tone. They weren't going anywhere.
“You think I'm gunna just sit back and let them go without getting my own back on 'em?” Jimmy raised his eyebrows, leaning back coolly on the wall beside him. Of course he had it sorted. Jimmy was known for being a man of his word, at the best of times, anyway. He said they were leaving, and at the time they were. But why walk away empty handed when a plan was brewing in his mind? Besides, he'd probably...hopefully never see that Kougu guy again, but Charlie? Well, that was a completely different matter. The point was, he wouldn't have the chance to do this again and give it the same impact as it did then. He had to do it whilst the two were still on the street, and whilst the streets were silent. He didn't want the police after him for the thousandth time that week, he'd had enough of them sniffing around him like German Shepherds again, as he'd had his freedom threatened enough times to know that the cops weren't going to let him off again, that this time it would be a life sentence, not just a fine and a little note on his record. He had to do this right.
Jimmy leant forwards and snatched the small handgun from Jordan's palm. His friend stared at him in horror, his eyes flicking to the other gang members and back to Jimmy. “What're you doing?” he hissed furiously. “Didn't you see the thing that guy had aimed at your head? You'll be a dead man if you show your face again back there again!” Jordan's eyes were flashing at the foolish idea but it only made Jimmy smile.
“Would you relax? Believe me, I've got it sorted. Listen, he's got one gun, we've got three. There are two of them, and there are what, eight...nine of us? Do the math, mate” he gave his friend a firm slap on the back and peered around the corner at Charlie and her new mop-haired friend. He'd stolen Jimmy's girl, threatened his life, and taken the absolute Micky out of him in front of the whole gang. Now, he was going to get him back. Big style. Jimmy smiled to himself, rose one arm containing the gun and pointed it towards the dark-haired boy's head. Scum, am I? he thought to himself. Filth? Now who's not in the position to be making out threats? Believe me mate, I'm not nicknamed 'The King of the Street' for nothing. Charlie is my girl, and don't worry, I'll make sure to take good care of her when she doesn't have anywhere left to go. I make personally sure that she doesn't have anywhere left to go, after this. No one...no one humiliates Jimmy Mackintosh and gets away with it. Say your prayers, Sonny. You won't live to see them answered.
“Go to hell” he mutters, and pulls the trigger.
I knew something hadn't been right, I just knew it! As soon as I'd seen the dark flash of Jimmy's all-too-familiar hooded jacket appear from behind the brick wall... He should have gone home! Or, of course, what he counted as home. That cardboard box in the edge of town. I barely saw him in it anymore. But, really! I should have just warned Kougu and got him home before any of this could get out of hand. But that was it, wasn't it? He had sensed something was going to happen, which was exactly why he'd told me to go home. But I was glad I'd disobeyed him, because if I hadn't I wouldn't have been able to shove him out of the way as soon as I'd seen that shiny black object appear from among the shadows. I have to say, I was sick of seeing those things. Seriously, if I saw one more gun...
I felt a sharp pain hit my right shoulder and before I could stop myself, I let out a loud yelp escape my pale lips.
That hurt.
My god that hurt.
What the hell had just hit me? I sank to my knees, clutching the blood-soaked wound just under my collar bone. Thick crimson liquid oozed from between my fingers, and I let out another painful cry. So this was what it felt like to get shot. Was this what it felt like to die? Was I dying? I really hoped not. Too much had happened in the past couple of days for it to end with my death. I had far too many plans. Besides, what a crap way to die! Stuck in a middle of a gun fight over me. The headlines flashed in my mind. “YOUNG GIRL SHOT DEAD BY STREET CORNER IN GANG WAR” Seriously? I wanted to die in a mansion, surrounded by trees, where there were no streets, no gangs, no sky scrapers, no police. Just me, my house, and the quiet song of the wild surrounding my home. I wanted to die of old age, not bleeding to death outside a corner shop I'd only just been given the right to set foot in after six long years of stealing from it. Things were just starting to go well for me, as well. Darkness was the only thing I could see, and I let out a final cry as I felt the cold hit the soft skin on my palm. All I could see was blackness. Had I died already?
Jimmy's eyes narrowed as the gun's blast echoed throughout the streets and Charlie sank to the ground. He'd missed. How could he miss? What dope missed a shot like that? The guy's head was big enough to shoot from a mile away. How could he have managed to shoot Charlie instead? And nowhere near her head, either! No, it was her shoulder. Her flippin' shoulder! He had to use that gun a little more often, get some practice with it. His arm raised again, but his hand was still shaking from the after-affects of the gun's powerful shot, and the vibration of the gun's fire had set shock to go up his whole arm, leaving him completely unable to shoot. He couldn't risk it. He let out a long sigh, looking down at the weapon in his hand and felt a hand tap him on the shoulder. “Come on, bobbys'll be 'ere soon” It was Jordan, looking out for him, once again. Jimmy nodded, handing his friend back his gun and gave Charlie one last look of disgust before turning, and speeding off down the alleyway.
Last edited by Xx Dreamerz xX on Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:28 pm; edited 1 time in total
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:04 am
Kougu narrowed his eyes at Jimmy’s jeering retort – strongly disliking the aura of confidence around the boy. Sure, so he would have reason to be confident if he knew that Kougu was technically incapable of killing anybody… Well, when in his right mind, that is… But he didn’t know that! He didn’t! Hell, if he’d know that, he would not have backed down so easily, check that, he would not have backed down at all. But if he didn’t know, then why would he risk rubbing Kougu the wrong way when a gun was pointed at his head? Yes, his confidence certainly made Kougu uneasy, but he was certainly not going to let Jimmy know that… That was probably what he wanted. But wait, what was he doing? He needed to concentrate! Concentrate… What had Jimmy said again? Charlie was a nun. Was she? Kougu cast her a curious glance, obviously intrigued by this newfound knowledge. Wasn’t Charlie a little young to be a nun? Then again, wasn’t he a little young to be… Well, to have done the things he’d done, anyway… No, age was not the main issue. But Charlie hadn’t struck him as particularly religious, and nuns were supposed to be very religious, right? Plus, he was sure they had some sort of specific uniform… Though maybe that was just a stereotype. Ah, stereotypes! Jimmy had been using one of those to turn a false fact into an insult. That also explained why the gang had laughed. For a moment Kougu was rather proud of himself for puzzling out this piece of information, but then he remembered Jimmy. He frowned and fixed the boy with a glare as he vanished around the corner, yet Kougu still did not lower his gun. What if Jimmy suddenly leaped out again…? Damn, it was not good for him to be this tense! If only Charlie had listened to him, he wouldn’t have had to worry… He could look after himself. Hell, he had no choice but to look after himself – but Charlie…? He could strike her down as easily as he could protect her, and he knew from bitter experience which was more likely… It was just as well he had so much medication in his system he could barely function…
”Kougu, can we go? I just don’t want to stay here any longer…” Charlie’s words broke through his mind, and Kougu finally lowered his gun and turned away – his back facing toward the corner where Jimmy had vanished. This, of course, was intentional. Every action Kougu made, every step he took, they were all planned based upon his seldom-flawed logic. Of course, since he had met Charlie, his logic had become more flawed… He had something he didn’t want to lose again. Of course everything would change… But was it for the better? What if he did lose Charlie? He hoped that the grief would simply kill him, but he knew that was unlikely. It was more likely that the grief would kill others. As many nameless, faceless people as his father had decided the world could do without. No, no, no… He couldn’t think about that now. Definitely not, no way. What was he doing again? He had to distract himself… Jimmy! Yes, Jimmy… Where was Jimmy again? He had vanished down the street. Yes, that was right… Jimmy had vanished around the corner, and now Kougu was standing… Ah, yes. He was standing with his back facing the way Jimmy had vanished, because that way his position served the dual purpose of protecting Charlie, and keeping him from protecting himself, since nobody wanted that… Nobody wanted that – least of all him. The distracting thoughts calmed Kougu slightly, and he finally managed to turn his attention to Charlie. He nodded in a delayed response to her words. “Yes, we must go.” He replied quietly. Kougu was about to say more, when a distant sound interrupted his thoughts – the sound of a gun being loaded. Kougu knew instantly what was happening and what he had to do – but both his thoughts and his reactions were slowed by the overdose of medication that continued to nearly incapacitate him. As such, before he had time to do more than turn his head, Charlie had tackled him out of the way. NO! The shout sounded out in his mind at the same time was the gunshot rang out, but Kougu remained silent – too shocked and stunned to make a single sound. Kougu felt himself falling in slow-motion, a feeling of intense hopelessness weighing on his mind. That one moment might have lasted a thousand years – for Kougu’s mind began working at a faster pace than ever before. This, together with the rush of dread and adrenaline coursing through him, could make a single second last an eternity in his mind. He was falling, but he was not moving. The bullet was racing toward them, but it was moving at a snail’s pace. His body couldn’t move fast enough to keep up with his thoughts, and the feeling of helplessness began to crush him. In his mind’s eye, he caught himself before hitting the ground and snatched Charlie out of harm’s way a million times over – but in reality he could not so much as blink his eyes in that time. It was said that time and tide would wait for no man, yet right now, time was frozen. They said that time would heal, yet here it was killing him. It was killing him! Oh, how he longed to feel pain. Real pain! Any pain! Just anything, anything to distract him from the knowledge of what was about to happen – whilst he remained powerless to stop it. He wished the bullet would hit him, and then another, and another. If only the ground would open up so Satan himself could drag him down to hell. Anything would be better than this! He had to end it, end it all, smash life into oblivion right there, right then. But he couldn’t He couldn’t, because his body wouldn’t move! Why was everything going so slowly? MOVE! Move, damn it! Move… Please move… Let it end… Let it fade to black… Why couldn’t it just go away…?
Then, finally, it happened. Kougu watched with wide-eyed horror as the bullet approached Charlie in slow motion. He saw the metal tip press against her clothes, and then it seemed to be lost inside a deep hole for a moment. Slowly, painfully slowly, a splash of blood erupted from around the bullet-hole, and then it was done. The bullet had struck, the shooting was complete, and he could never do anything to change it. He could never, ever take it back and it was all his fault.
The next moment, Kougu blinked, and time resumed its normal pace. He struck the ground, and bounced up again the selfsame instant, darting toward Charlie, though he already knew he was too late. He felt a warning twinge antagonize every fiber of his being as he left the ‘safety zone’ and moved toward Charlie, but just this once, he ignored it. He would not lose control now. Even he was not that unlucky! Besides, he had a strong suspicion that his emotions at that moment were probably strong enough to overpower, well, anything… Kougu found himself behind Charlie then, and as she began to fall, he quickly dropped to one knee and caught her. Kougu was barely aware of what he was doing – to such an extent he seemed to be in some form of trance. It took him nearly a minute to realize that his arms were under Charlie’s – gently holding her up. It took him another minute to begin to panic, but he squashed that thought with a mental growl the second it cropped up. Honestly! Now was not the time to be… Well… The way he always was. He had been too late to save Charlie this suffering – the least he could do would be to do what he could for her now. Thank goodness he had learned to treat gunshot wounds at a young age… And thank goodness he had learned to work through a haze of pain, since he was certain that his heart and his head very trying to devour each other from the inside-out… And that was not even possible. Not even nearly! Where had that thought even come from…? It was so illogical, it was pathetic. Besides – it was all in his head. He wasn’t really hurt… Charlie was.
Ah, but that was the problem… Nothing, nothing in the world could hurt him more than seeing Charlie suffer… Unless it was seeing Charlie suffer because of his mistake. If he hadn’t been so desperate to help Charlie, he would have given in to the pain there and then and beaten his brains out against the nearest wall. A painful death, but a stylish one. But wait – he didn’t have time to be planning his own demise at that moment! Sheesh, could he get any more useless?! Charlie needed his help! Fast! The first time was always the worst… You got used to it after a while, but the first time… There was nothing that could quite compare to taking one’s first bullet.
Shaking of his thoughts, Kougu quickly switched his mind into medical-mode. Keeping Charlie propped up against his leg, Kougu quickly made sure that she was breathing, and that he could still feel a pulse. Feeling mildly relieved by his findings. Next, he found a pressure point in Charlie’s arm to deaden it and slow the flow of blood. Once he was content with that step, Kougu grabbed the shoulder of his own hoodie in his teeth and used his other hand to take a firm grip on the sleeve. In one smooth motion, he managed to rip it off at the seam, then shake it off his arm. He clasped the ripped sleeve in one hand while he applied pressure to Charlie’s wound – slowing the bleeding yet again. Kougu had to slow his breathing and close his eyes for a moment as the familiar sight of blood on his own pale hands struck horror into his mind. Then he removed his fingers from the wound and quickly bound it with the jagged section of sleeve – bandaging it tightly and professionally to stop bleeding. He managed to do all this within the greater part of 2 minutes – quick, but effective, just as his father had ‘taught’ him. Though he supposed it had been more the case of his father providing him with a situation to teach himself… Undeniably effective, if rather risky…
Refocusing his thoughts, Kougu kept Charlie’s upper-body elevated – supporting her weight with one arm around her shoulders. He quickly wiped his other hand clean on his hoodie, then touched it softly against her good shoulder, and Kougu shook her gently. “Charlie, hey.” He spoke softly – his voice calm and low as he attempted to break through her thoughts and get a response without startling her. “Listen carefully now.” He murmured quietly, keeping a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I want you to stay calm. I’m going to put a pill in your mouth now, and I want you to swallow it. Don’t argue – just swallow, okay? It’ll help – trust me.” Kougu gave her shoulder a light squeeze, then took the small tub of pills from his pocket. He wasted one precious second staring doubtfully at the familiar container, then shrugged off his thoughts and shook a single pill onto his hand. One would be enough… The things were stronger than anybody could imagine. Kougu took the pill in between his long fingers, then gently prized Charlie’s jaws apart and dropped it into her mouth. “Swallow.” He commended, his voice gentle, yet firm. Kougu had to admit, he had never been more grateful for those awful pills. They would give him the best chance of getting Charlie through this – quickly and completely. Countless stacks of gold and money had gone into developing them, and he knew for a fact that there was currently not a single form of medication more advanced for effective than what he held in his hand. Sure, they had their down-sides… But if it was just one, just this once, it would be worth it.
Hoping that Charlie had swallowed the pill, Kougu placed a hand on her shoulder again – using touch to prepare her for speech so as not to startle her. “Charlie?” He asked quietly. “Can you hear me? I need you to answer some questions for me – can you do that?” He shook her shoulder gently to get her attention, and was suddenly struck by intense gratitude for the fact that his mind was so involved in Charlie’s predicament that he had forgotten to think of anything else… If he let his thoughts stray, he would probably freak out about being so close to her and by the end of it all, they’d both be dead – her because he would have abandoned her and him because… Well, he supposed that brought him back to his brain-smashing theory… Yes, it was lucky that his attention was fully occupied.
((Yet again I apologise for the power play. o_0 Sheesh, I suck. Haha! And sorry for the slightly pathetic 'treatment' part of the post... I researched treatment for gunshot wounds, but I think my beloved Kougukins would know more than those internet smartarses anyway... 
So you may just need to use your imagination. Haha!))
”Kougu, can we go? I just don’t want to stay here any longer…” Charlie’s words broke through his mind, and Kougu finally lowered his gun and turned away – his back facing toward the corner where Jimmy had vanished. This, of course, was intentional. Every action Kougu made, every step he took, they were all planned based upon his seldom-flawed logic. Of course, since he had met Charlie, his logic had become more flawed… He had something he didn’t want to lose again. Of course everything would change… But was it for the better? What if he did lose Charlie? He hoped that the grief would simply kill him, but he knew that was unlikely. It was more likely that the grief would kill others. As many nameless, faceless people as his father had decided the world could do without. No, no, no… He couldn’t think about that now. Definitely not, no way. What was he doing again? He had to distract himself… Jimmy! Yes, Jimmy… Where was Jimmy again? He had vanished down the street. Yes, that was right… Jimmy had vanished around the corner, and now Kougu was standing… Ah, yes. He was standing with his back facing the way Jimmy had vanished, because that way his position served the dual purpose of protecting Charlie, and keeping him from protecting himself, since nobody wanted that… Nobody wanted that – least of all him. The distracting thoughts calmed Kougu slightly, and he finally managed to turn his attention to Charlie. He nodded in a delayed response to her words. “Yes, we must go.” He replied quietly. Kougu was about to say more, when a distant sound interrupted his thoughts – the sound of a gun being loaded. Kougu knew instantly what was happening and what he had to do – but both his thoughts and his reactions were slowed by the overdose of medication that continued to nearly incapacitate him. As such, before he had time to do more than turn his head, Charlie had tackled him out of the way. NO! The shout sounded out in his mind at the same time was the gunshot rang out, but Kougu remained silent – too shocked and stunned to make a single sound. Kougu felt himself falling in slow-motion, a feeling of intense hopelessness weighing on his mind. That one moment might have lasted a thousand years – for Kougu’s mind began working at a faster pace than ever before. This, together with the rush of dread and adrenaline coursing through him, could make a single second last an eternity in his mind. He was falling, but he was not moving. The bullet was racing toward them, but it was moving at a snail’s pace. His body couldn’t move fast enough to keep up with his thoughts, and the feeling of helplessness began to crush him. In his mind’s eye, he caught himself before hitting the ground and snatched Charlie out of harm’s way a million times over – but in reality he could not so much as blink his eyes in that time. It was said that time and tide would wait for no man, yet right now, time was frozen. They said that time would heal, yet here it was killing him. It was killing him! Oh, how he longed to feel pain. Real pain! Any pain! Just anything, anything to distract him from the knowledge of what was about to happen – whilst he remained powerless to stop it. He wished the bullet would hit him, and then another, and another. If only the ground would open up so Satan himself could drag him down to hell. Anything would be better than this! He had to end it, end it all, smash life into oblivion right there, right then. But he couldn’t He couldn’t, because his body wouldn’t move! Why was everything going so slowly? MOVE! Move, damn it! Move… Please move… Let it end… Let it fade to black… Why couldn’t it just go away…?
Then, finally, it happened. Kougu watched with wide-eyed horror as the bullet approached Charlie in slow motion. He saw the metal tip press against her clothes, and then it seemed to be lost inside a deep hole for a moment. Slowly, painfully slowly, a splash of blood erupted from around the bullet-hole, and then it was done. The bullet had struck, the shooting was complete, and he could never do anything to change it. He could never, ever take it back and it was all his fault.
The next moment, Kougu blinked, and time resumed its normal pace. He struck the ground, and bounced up again the selfsame instant, darting toward Charlie, though he already knew he was too late. He felt a warning twinge antagonize every fiber of his being as he left the ‘safety zone’ and moved toward Charlie, but just this once, he ignored it. He would not lose control now. Even he was not that unlucky! Besides, he had a strong suspicion that his emotions at that moment were probably strong enough to overpower, well, anything… Kougu found himself behind Charlie then, and as she began to fall, he quickly dropped to one knee and caught her. Kougu was barely aware of what he was doing – to such an extent he seemed to be in some form of trance. It took him nearly a minute to realize that his arms were under Charlie’s – gently holding her up. It took him another minute to begin to panic, but he squashed that thought with a mental growl the second it cropped up. Honestly! Now was not the time to be… Well… The way he always was. He had been too late to save Charlie this suffering – the least he could do would be to do what he could for her now. Thank goodness he had learned to treat gunshot wounds at a young age… And thank goodness he had learned to work through a haze of pain, since he was certain that his heart and his head very trying to devour each other from the inside-out… And that was not even possible. Not even nearly! Where had that thought even come from…? It was so illogical, it was pathetic. Besides – it was all in his head. He wasn’t really hurt… Charlie was.
Ah, but that was the problem… Nothing, nothing in the world could hurt him more than seeing Charlie suffer… Unless it was seeing Charlie suffer because of his mistake. If he hadn’t been so desperate to help Charlie, he would have given in to the pain there and then and beaten his brains out against the nearest wall. A painful death, but a stylish one. But wait – he didn’t have time to be planning his own demise at that moment! Sheesh, could he get any more useless?! Charlie needed his help! Fast! The first time was always the worst… You got used to it after a while, but the first time… There was nothing that could quite compare to taking one’s first bullet.
Shaking of his thoughts, Kougu quickly switched his mind into medical-mode. Keeping Charlie propped up against his leg, Kougu quickly made sure that she was breathing, and that he could still feel a pulse. Feeling mildly relieved by his findings. Next, he found a pressure point in Charlie’s arm to deaden it and slow the flow of blood. Once he was content with that step, Kougu grabbed the shoulder of his own hoodie in his teeth and used his other hand to take a firm grip on the sleeve. In one smooth motion, he managed to rip it off at the seam, then shake it off his arm. He clasped the ripped sleeve in one hand while he applied pressure to Charlie’s wound – slowing the bleeding yet again. Kougu had to slow his breathing and close his eyes for a moment as the familiar sight of blood on his own pale hands struck horror into his mind. Then he removed his fingers from the wound and quickly bound it with the jagged section of sleeve – bandaging it tightly and professionally to stop bleeding. He managed to do all this within the greater part of 2 minutes – quick, but effective, just as his father had ‘taught’ him. Though he supposed it had been more the case of his father providing him with a situation to teach himself… Undeniably effective, if rather risky…
Refocusing his thoughts, Kougu kept Charlie’s upper-body elevated – supporting her weight with one arm around her shoulders. He quickly wiped his other hand clean on his hoodie, then touched it softly against her good shoulder, and Kougu shook her gently. “Charlie, hey.” He spoke softly – his voice calm and low as he attempted to break through her thoughts and get a response without startling her. “Listen carefully now.” He murmured quietly, keeping a comforting hand on her shoulder, “I want you to stay calm. I’m going to put a pill in your mouth now, and I want you to swallow it. Don’t argue – just swallow, okay? It’ll help – trust me.” Kougu gave her shoulder a light squeeze, then took the small tub of pills from his pocket. He wasted one precious second staring doubtfully at the familiar container, then shrugged off his thoughts and shook a single pill onto his hand. One would be enough… The things were stronger than anybody could imagine. Kougu took the pill in between his long fingers, then gently prized Charlie’s jaws apart and dropped it into her mouth. “Swallow.” He commended, his voice gentle, yet firm. Kougu had to admit, he had never been more grateful for those awful pills. They would give him the best chance of getting Charlie through this – quickly and completely. Countless stacks of gold and money had gone into developing them, and he knew for a fact that there was currently not a single form of medication more advanced for effective than what he held in his hand. Sure, they had their down-sides… But if it was just one, just this once, it would be worth it.
Hoping that Charlie had swallowed the pill, Kougu placed a hand on her shoulder again – using touch to prepare her for speech so as not to startle her. “Charlie?” He asked quietly. “Can you hear me? I need you to answer some questions for me – can you do that?” He shook her shoulder gently to get her attention, and was suddenly struck by intense gratitude for the fact that his mind was so involved in Charlie’s predicament that he had forgotten to think of anything else… If he let his thoughts stray, he would probably freak out about being so close to her and by the end of it all, they’d both be dead – her because he would have abandoned her and him because… Well, he supposed that brought him back to his brain-smashing theory… Yes, it was lucky that his attention was fully occupied.
((Yet again I apologise for the power play. o_0 Sheesh, I suck.
Haha! And sorry for the slightly pathetic 'treatment' part of the post... I researched treatment for gunshot wounds, but I think my beloved Kougukins would know more than those internet smartarses anyway... So you may just need to use your imagination. Haha!))
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Fri Sep 24, 2010 12:15 pm
Darkness.
That's all I could see. Nothing more, nothing less.
Well, thinking about it, there isn't much less to see other than darkness, is there? But it's hard to describe what went through my mind at that illimitable moment. I could hear nothing. See nothing. Hear nothing. Dead to the world. This is it I thought darkly. I've died and my soul's already gone and abandoned me and I never even had a chance to thank Kougu for standing up for me in front of Jimmy. Jimmy... The name echoed through my brain several times before I could even remember what he'd done. Jimmy Mackintosh. My murderer. The man I belonged to. The man who stole my freedom so much more than any jail cell could ever do, and all with such little effort. How pathetic. So now I lay on the cold, rigid ground, looking up to the sky, waiting for my soul to drift away from me. A four bar melody begins to murmur through the deafening silence, a faint memory of what I had heard in a shop speaker once whilst I was on one of my little 'missions'. Rather recently, as a matter of fact. The guitar chords continued in a rhythmic fashion for a few moments before a chorus popped into mind. When my mind stops thinking and / My eyes stop blinking / I hope somebody's there. / And my heart stops beating / and my lungs stop breathing in air / I hope somebody cares... Now, who sang that? I pondered, letting my mind wander for the answer that lay somewhere in the back of my mind as I felt it begin to depart. A band called Chase and Status, I believe. But there was someone else singing with them, or there was another band or singer that also helped create the song. Something B... Plan B... That's it! And it was called End Credits. Now I realised why.
When the blood dries in my veins and my / Heart feels no more pain / I know, I'll be on my way / To heavens door.. But of course, it wasn't heaven that I was going, was it? Of course it wasn't. I'd tried turning to religion to help me, it had just been a complete waste of time. It seemed Heaven didn't hear me, no matter how much I needed it most. No, I was going to hell. I was going to pay back all the times I'd sinned, all the times I'd caused hurting, all the things I'd stolen, all the laws I'd broken for my own personal gain. Wow. How selfish had I become ever since the accident? The accident... The blurry images of what happened that day flashed in my mind. How angry my dad had been whilst we were driving the quiet highway, the frustrated comments coming from mum beside him, the look Alex gave me when dad took his eyes off the road...
You know, sometimes it seemed like he could sense what was coming, like he knew exactly what was going to happen. Dad barely ever got angry, but when he did, he was furious. And when he was furious, he was never aware of what he was doing. Of course, he never went as far as laying a finger on either of us – which was more than I could say for some. people – his actions were never really thought through when he was this mad. But I never thought it would at anytime come down to this.
He'd had a bad day at work, something about a client being caught embezzling funds from the company's account, and Dad had taken a small part in the undertaking. His colleague had been fired, and he had been fined double what he'd stolen, and was supposed to attend a court session that Tuesday. Hm, notice link to thievery in the family? I do.
“Dad...Dad, where're you going?” I could remember the frightened squeals coming from Alex's side of the car, and with him being only six at the time, it was really hard to blame him. Dad's driving was monstrous, and the miles-per-hour arrow was gliding from sixty-five to seventy miles, twenty-five miles over the limit. What's more, he wasn't paying any attention at all to where he was going. Honestly, how he'd kept the wheels on the drive for the past fifteen minutes was beyond me. All I knew was if he didn't start paying attention to more than what had gone on at work that day, he would have listened to Alex's terrified ear-splitting screams that rang throughout the whole roadside at the approaching vehicle. We all would have. Then we'd have had chance to get out of the way whilst we still could. I mean, sure Dad would have had to go to court, and we'd probably be broke, but at least we'd all be alive. At least...
Charlie, hey.” Oh great, I was hearing my name now? Was that supposed to happen to a dying person? But wait, I recognised that voice... That was Kougu. Why was I hearing Kougu's voice? “I want you to stay calm. I’m going to put a pill in your mouth now, and I want you to swallow it. Don’t argue – just swallow, okay? It’ll help – trust me” Before I could register what was going on, I felt the bitter, artificial taste of a round pill beginning to dissolve on my tongue . But I wasn't imagining this. There really was an unpleasant taste invading the warmth on my taste buds. What was in my mouth? My eyes flickered open, suddenly squinting at the brightness of the afternoon sun. That was definitely brighter than I remembered, unless it was because I'd blacked out. But wait, had I blacked out? Or had I been able to open my eyes the whole time? Wow, that was embarrassing. I hadn't been dying at all. Of course I hadn't. I couldn't die that quickly unless they'd shot my heart or any other vital organs that kept me alive. They'd only hit my shoulder, for goodness' sake. I couldn't lose blood that quickly just from a bullet. Moron, I thought with a slight scowl. You see? This is what I got for missing six years of gaining my education. This was a girl who didn't even know who Edmund Hillary was until his birthday was mentioned on the radio. I didn't know what frabjous meant – but then again, who does? - and I thought Berlin was the Capital of Wales. So yeah, not everything was intact in my little brain, but you'd have thought I'd have noticed whether I was dead or not. The answer is I would probably not been able to think at all. Who knows how long I'd been lying there, letting my thoughts once again drift away on me, causing me to have such foolish idiocy in my mind, and why? Because I thought I'd died. I should have been glad, I should have leapt up and thrown my arms around Kougu's neck. But I didn't, for three reasons: 1) he probably wouldn't be too happy about me invading his overly large bubble of personal space, 2)It would hurt, no doubt... a lot and 3)I didn't have the energy. I barely had enough to keep my eyes open. Okay, so perhaps I hadn't blacked out, but I must have had my eyes closed for so long I must have partly fallen asleep. Suddenly realising the pill was still dissolving on my tongue, I swallowed unexpectedly... even for me... and pulled a face of disgust as the revolting tang slowly rolled it's way down my dry throat. What had he just given me? I wasn't in the mood for medicine, even if I did need it.
“Charlie? Can you hear me? I need you to answer some questions for me – can you do that?” Kougu's voice rang through my brain, forcing me to stay awake. I wasn't in the mood for this. I just wanted to fall asleep there on the tarmac street. But I kept my consciousness, and managed a faint nod before flickering my eyes towards my right shoulder, noticing the blood trickling down my dark hooded jacket. It certainly looked bad, and painful, and rather sickly to be honest. So why couldn't I feel anything? I tried to shuffle my hand beside me so I could sit up, but it wouldn't move. Why wouldn't it move?! I was beginning to panic, and dropped back into whatever support was behind me, probably Kougu. Looking after me once again. Would he ever stop? Because I really didn't know where I'd be without him. In jail, probably. Or dead. Or locked in the cellar again... I shivered at the thought, deciding there was a time and a place for that type of thinking and there and then was neither of the above. “I'm alright..” I tried, before trailing back to silence again. Was that really my voice? I could barely recognise it. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I tried again. “I'm fine, I think...” I glanced down thoughtfully at my right hand, still wondering why it wouldn't move. “I can't feel my arm” I muttered, trying the other one, but that was fine. So what had happened? What had he done? “Are they gone?” I asked, suddenly anxious to know what had happened before I, evidently, shut myself out of the situation. “Jimmy, and Jordan...Curtis, Danny, are they gone? Did they say an-” My free hand rose to my temple and I winced suddenly, scrunching my eyes closed. Pain whooshed like burning liquid inside my head, and before I could stop myself, I let out a quiet moan. Had that bullet really hit my shoulder, or was that some random wound I'd already got, and that the actual bullet had hit my head? It sure felt bad enough. “Did they say anything before they left? What happened? What did I miss?” I clenched my teeth, fighting back the questions lingering on the tip of my tongue. Kougu didn't need this right now, and neither did I.
That's all I could see. Nothing more, nothing less.
Well, thinking about it, there isn't much less to see other than darkness, is there? But it's hard to describe what went through my mind at that illimitable moment. I could hear nothing. See nothing. Hear nothing. Dead to the world. This is it I thought darkly. I've died and my soul's already gone and abandoned me and I never even had a chance to thank Kougu for standing up for me in front of Jimmy. Jimmy... The name echoed through my brain several times before I could even remember what he'd done. Jimmy Mackintosh. My murderer. The man I belonged to. The man who stole my freedom so much more than any jail cell could ever do, and all with such little effort. How pathetic. So now I lay on the cold, rigid ground, looking up to the sky, waiting for my soul to drift away from me. A four bar melody begins to murmur through the deafening silence, a faint memory of what I had heard in a shop speaker once whilst I was on one of my little 'missions'. Rather recently, as a matter of fact. The guitar chords continued in a rhythmic fashion for a few moments before a chorus popped into mind. When my mind stops thinking and / My eyes stop blinking / I hope somebody's there. / And my heart stops beating / and my lungs stop breathing in air / I hope somebody cares... Now, who sang that? I pondered, letting my mind wander for the answer that lay somewhere in the back of my mind as I felt it begin to depart. A band called Chase and Status, I believe. But there was someone else singing with them, or there was another band or singer that also helped create the song. Something B... Plan B... That's it! And it was called End Credits. Now I realised why.
When the blood dries in my veins and my / Heart feels no more pain / I know, I'll be on my way / To heavens door.. But of course, it wasn't heaven that I was going, was it? Of course it wasn't. I'd tried turning to religion to help me, it had just been a complete waste of time. It seemed Heaven didn't hear me, no matter how much I needed it most. No, I was going to hell. I was going to pay back all the times I'd sinned, all the times I'd caused hurting, all the things I'd stolen, all the laws I'd broken for my own personal gain. Wow. How selfish had I become ever since the accident? The accident... The blurry images of what happened that day flashed in my mind. How angry my dad had been whilst we were driving the quiet highway, the frustrated comments coming from mum beside him, the look Alex gave me when dad took his eyes off the road...
You know, sometimes it seemed like he could sense what was coming, like he knew exactly what was going to happen. Dad barely ever got angry, but when he did, he was furious. And when he was furious, he was never aware of what he was doing. Of course, he never went as far as laying a finger on either of us – which was more than I could say for some. people – his actions were never really thought through when he was this mad. But I never thought it would at anytime come down to this.
He'd had a bad day at work, something about a client being caught embezzling funds from the company's account, and Dad had taken a small part in the undertaking. His colleague had been fired, and he had been fined double what he'd stolen, and was supposed to attend a court session that Tuesday. Hm, notice link to thievery in the family? I do.
“Dad...Dad, where're you going?” I could remember the frightened squeals coming from Alex's side of the car, and with him being only six at the time, it was really hard to blame him. Dad's driving was monstrous, and the miles-per-hour arrow was gliding from sixty-five to seventy miles, twenty-five miles over the limit. What's more, he wasn't paying any attention at all to where he was going. Honestly, how he'd kept the wheels on the drive for the past fifteen minutes was beyond me. All I knew was if he didn't start paying attention to more than what had gone on at work that day, he would have listened to Alex's terrified ear-splitting screams that rang throughout the whole roadside at the approaching vehicle. We all would have. Then we'd have had chance to get out of the way whilst we still could. I mean, sure Dad would have had to go to court, and we'd probably be broke, but at least we'd all be alive. At least...
Charlie, hey.” Oh great, I was hearing my name now? Was that supposed to happen to a dying person? But wait, I recognised that voice... That was Kougu. Why was I hearing Kougu's voice? “I want you to stay calm. I’m going to put a pill in your mouth now, and I want you to swallow it. Don’t argue – just swallow, okay? It’ll help – trust me” Before I could register what was going on, I felt the bitter, artificial taste of a round pill beginning to dissolve on my tongue . But I wasn't imagining this. There really was an unpleasant taste invading the warmth on my taste buds. What was in my mouth? My eyes flickered open, suddenly squinting at the brightness of the afternoon sun. That was definitely brighter than I remembered, unless it was because I'd blacked out. But wait, had I blacked out? Or had I been able to open my eyes the whole time? Wow, that was embarrassing. I hadn't been dying at all. Of course I hadn't. I couldn't die that quickly unless they'd shot my heart or any other vital organs that kept me alive. They'd only hit my shoulder, for goodness' sake. I couldn't lose blood that quickly just from a bullet. Moron, I thought with a slight scowl. You see? This is what I got for missing six years of gaining my education. This was a girl who didn't even know who Edmund Hillary was until his birthday was mentioned on the radio. I didn't know what frabjous meant – but then again, who does? - and I thought Berlin was the Capital of Wales. So yeah, not everything was intact in my little brain, but you'd have thought I'd have noticed whether I was dead or not. The answer is I would probably not been able to think at all. Who knows how long I'd been lying there, letting my thoughts once again drift away on me, causing me to have such foolish idiocy in my mind, and why? Because I thought I'd died. I should have been glad, I should have leapt up and thrown my arms around Kougu's neck. But I didn't, for three reasons: 1) he probably wouldn't be too happy about me invading his overly large bubble of personal space, 2)It would hurt, no doubt... a lot and 3)I didn't have the energy. I barely had enough to keep my eyes open. Okay, so perhaps I hadn't blacked out, but I must have had my eyes closed for so long I must have partly fallen asleep. Suddenly realising the pill was still dissolving on my tongue, I swallowed unexpectedly... even for me... and pulled a face of disgust as the revolting tang slowly rolled it's way down my dry throat. What had he just given me? I wasn't in the mood for medicine, even if I did need it.
“Charlie? Can you hear me? I need you to answer some questions for me – can you do that?” Kougu's voice rang through my brain, forcing me to stay awake. I wasn't in the mood for this. I just wanted to fall asleep there on the tarmac street. But I kept my consciousness, and managed a faint nod before flickering my eyes towards my right shoulder, noticing the blood trickling down my dark hooded jacket. It certainly looked bad, and painful, and rather sickly to be honest. So why couldn't I feel anything? I tried to shuffle my hand beside me so I could sit up, but it wouldn't move. Why wouldn't it move?! I was beginning to panic, and dropped back into whatever support was behind me, probably Kougu. Looking after me once again. Would he ever stop? Because I really didn't know where I'd be without him. In jail, probably. Or dead. Or locked in the cellar again... I shivered at the thought, deciding there was a time and a place for that type of thinking and there and then was neither of the above. “I'm alright..” I tried, before trailing back to silence again. Was that really my voice? I could barely recognise it. Clearing my throat awkwardly, I tried again. “I'm fine, I think...” I glanced down thoughtfully at my right hand, still wondering why it wouldn't move. “I can't feel my arm” I muttered, trying the other one, but that was fine. So what had happened? What had he done? “Are they gone?” I asked, suddenly anxious to know what had happened before I, evidently, shut myself out of the situation. “Jimmy, and Jordan...Curtis, Danny, are they gone? Did they say an-” My free hand rose to my temple and I winced suddenly, scrunching my eyes closed. Pain whooshed like burning liquid inside my head, and before I could stop myself, I let out a quiet moan. Had that bullet really hit my shoulder, or was that some random wound I'd already got, and that the actual bullet had hit my head? It sure felt bad enough. “Did they say anything before they left? What happened? What did I miss?” I clenched my teeth, fighting back the questions lingering on the tip of my tongue. Kougu didn't need this right now, and neither did I.
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:57 am
Kougu could feel despair slowly building in his mind as he crouched there, supporting Charlie’s limp form and trying to work out what he should do next. As usual, Kougu was over thinking things and sending himself into a complete and utter panic that was so dampened by despair that he remained calm, and simply felt as though his life itself was draining away. Charlie had been shot… Shot. He had thought that it was just her shoulder, and that she would be fine, but she wasn’t coming round… Why wasn’t she coming round? Had he missed something? Had another bullet been fired and struck her heart? Or had time frozen again, like it had done so painfully before? Kougu blinked briefly, letting the movement of his sickly translucent eyelids test his theory. His eyes felt dry and rough beneath the protective layers, and Kougu became aware, not for the fist time, of the effect that his self-induced insomnia was having on his weakening body. Still, there was nothing lack of sleep could do to his body that would exceed the damage that the nightmares did to his mind. Sleeping correctly for as little as a week would most likely be enough to send him into the loony bin once and for all – though he supposed he was more likely to take his own life first. And (XD), tempting as that thought was, it did not particularly appeal to him. He had things to accomplish in life, and he was not ready to throw in the towel just yet, much as he wanted to. But wait, what had he been trying to deduce with that blink? Ah, yes… Well, it seemed time was moving normally after all. In that case, perhaps he ought to take back his previous thoughts… Because if Charlie’s eyes never opened, and if she remained still in his arms until she gradually became stiff and cold as a rod of steel, there was no way his willpower would be strong enough to keep himself alive. He’d plunge himself into his final mission right there and then, and waste it all on the attempt – discarding his life like a pair of old socks. He wasn’t ready… He knew he wasn’t… But he also wasn’t ready for Charlie to leave him. So his life was linked to hers now? Ah… Ironic, seeing as how he was the one most likely to cause her demise in the circumstances. But this was what happened to people like him. After years of loneliness with nothing worth living for, he finally found a worthy companion and a reason to live… Not only that, but a reason to smile. Yes, he had found a friend. Him of all people! He who deserved it least of all… Thus, it was only fitting that he should lose her now. Indeed, it was his fault that she was going to die. She had just been another means for life to punish him all along… Life was out to get him, there was no doubt about it. He should never have doubted the intentions of karma… He should have left Charlie back in that alleyway after she had seen his capabilities. He should have left despite her pleas for him to stay with her… Foolish girl! Why hadn’t she listened?! Now she was suffering, perhaps dying, because he had been too weak to handle her tears. Damn it all! A soft hearted murderous madman was a dangerous thing after all. Perhaps his father had known it all along… The man was a genius, after all. Mentally ill, of course, but weren’t all geniuses a little twisted? No, no… He couldn’t think of that now. Anything but that…
Kougu forced his thoughts aside with a rough mental shove and turned his attention back to Charlie, only to see- What?! Were his eyes deceiving him? Had hope turned fantasy into reality in his mind? No – this was reality, and the niggling pain in his cramping leg muscles proved it. And if this was reality, then that meant that Charlie was alive – for her eyes were open, and she was looking at him. She was looking at him! How he had feared that he might never meet those eyes again! Yet here his fears had proved in vain, and he could not have been more grateful. Perhaps he had been wrong about life after all… Perhaps karma was kinder than he gave it credit for. After all, Charlie’s shoulder had been struck. He should not have doubted his own knowledge… He had known she would be fine… He hadn’t been worried at all… Noooo, of course he hadn’t. Oh! Look at that, now he was discovering sarcasm. Of all the times… No, he had to focus now.
Kougu attempted to speak as he noticed Charlie gradually becoming aware of her surroundings and, thankfully, swallowing the pill – yet his tongue seemed to be made of sawdust, for no matter how had he tried to form the words – no sound came out. Kougu struggled for a few moments longer before Charlie saved him the effort and beat him to it. “I’m alright.” she said weakly, and Kougu felt his eyebrows rise up to vanish into his messy black fringe at the irony of her words. Her tone clearly stated the complete opposite to her actual words. Charlie seemed to realize this, for she cleared her throat then and attempted again. “I'm fine, I think...” Kougu frowned slightly then, forgetting his joyous relief at hearing her voice and finding his brow furrowed in concern once more. Gunshot wounds were not to be taken lightly… He had to get her back, and treat her to the best of his abilities – as he had had to treat his own wounds many a time… That man… Then Charlie's voice interrupted his thoughts. Kougu was glad to have been distracted from his hatred, and he listened carefully as she began firing off enough questions that he could have sworn she’d been out for a hundred years rather than a couple of minutes. He felt a faint fondness at the thought, yet while his features softened slightly, his expression remained the same. He was hiding behind those walls again… Retreating back into his shell, for whatever reason. “I’ve deadened your arm.” Kougu said suddenly – beginning to answer her list of questions. “It will help keep the pain in check until the pill takes effect, and it slows bleeding as well. That you don’t need to worry about.” Kougu paused a moment, considering offering a comforting smile, but soon deciding against it. It would be too difficult, and he feared his face might crack. “I assume the gang are gone.” Kougu went on calmly, “I admit I didn’t check but- Charlie?!” Kougu broke off, a note of panic in his voice as he saw Charlie wince and raise a hand to her head, then emit a soft moan. However, before he could say anything else, she had begun speaking again. He frowned slightly, desperate to ask after her wellbeing, but resigned himself to answering her questions first. “They didn’t say anything that I know of.” Kougu replied softly. “You didn’t miss anything – at least – nothing that I did not miss as well, so you needn’t worry.” Kougu trailed off then, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Why had this happened…? Why…? He shook aside the pathetic thoughts, then began to panic suddenly as he felt an unexpected trembling. Charlie?! What was wrong?! Damn, if she- No… Wait… Kougu glanced toward Charlie, and a moment later it dawned on him that she was not the one trembling. At least, not directly. He, on the other hand, was shaking like a leaf – and this motion was causing Charlie to tremble simply because of the contact between them. Kougu felt a sickening wave of belated anxiety run through him, and his palms suddenly felt clammy with the same cold sweat beading on his forehead. So close… So close… He had nearly lost her. Kougu gulped silently and struggled to get his thoughts in order and calm his shaking body, but his efforts only worsened the trembling, and he suddenly found himself shaking so violently that he could barely keep his balance and support Charlie at the same time. Kougu abandoned all efforts then, and impulsively reached forward and tightened his grip on Charlie – forgetting all else as he held her in a gentle embrace. “You scared me half to death…” Kougu whispered hoarsely – a definite tremor to his voice. No more then a second later, Kougu’s grip slackened and he drew back, suddenly nervous and uncertain. He really wanted to get away from Charlie now – as far away as he could – but that was not an option. He couldn’t even let go of her, because he had to support her… Oh, why had he done that? Of all the stupid, senseless, irrational, illogical- “Come on.” Kougu said suddenly, breaking his silence with a strangely toneless voice. “We need to get you back. That pill should take effect in a minute and that should at least partially obliterate any pain, but it won’t help the bleeding or the shock. I’ve done what I can for now, but I need to get you back to sort it out properly, since I don’t have the supplies I need with me at the moment…” Kougu trailed off, thought for a moment, then grudgingly added, “Or you can go in to hospital, of course, but then you’re on your own. Either way, the first step is to get you back to the house… We’re not far away…” Kougu fell silent then, suddenly aware that he was thinking out loud, and glanced around briefly. He ought to keep Charlie as still as possible, so… Oh, great. Of all the people she could have been shot with, it just had to be him – the person most likely to freak out about having to carry her. He didn’t even dare suggest it. The prospect was simply too daunting. But she couldn’t walk… That would speed up her blood flow. Oh great, yet another predicament he couldn’t find a solution to. Kougu heaved a resigned sigh, then flipped open his tub of pills and swallowed one – more out of habit than anything else, since he knew all too well that he had already had far too many for one day. Kougu shrugged off the thoughts, then let his attention wander. He stared up at the late afternoon sky – quite content to watch the peaceful, cotton-wool clouds floating through the sky without a care in the world. He knew he ought to be getting down to business, but he was still feeling a little shaken and insecure and he certainly didn’t feel like suggesting he do something that he desperately didn’t want to. Maybe Charlie could just- No… Damn! Why was there no alternative solution to this stupid problem?! He would just wait for Charlie to come up with one… Yes, that was what he would do. Wow, now he was really becoming too dependent on her… Kougu sighed softly, then glanced back at Charlie, shifting uncomfortably on his cramping legs. He really couldn’t stall much longer – especially not in this position and, more importantly, while Charlie was gradually bleeding out her life’s blood onto the floor. Wow, some medic he was… Ah! There it was again, the sarcasm. Who would have thought that he of all people might manage to discover it…?
Kougu forced his thoughts aside with a rough mental shove and turned his attention back to Charlie, only to see- What?! Were his eyes deceiving him? Had hope turned fantasy into reality in his mind? No – this was reality, and the niggling pain in his cramping leg muscles proved it. And if this was reality, then that meant that Charlie was alive – for her eyes were open, and she was looking at him. She was looking at him! How he had feared that he might never meet those eyes again! Yet here his fears had proved in vain, and he could not have been more grateful. Perhaps he had been wrong about life after all… Perhaps karma was kinder than he gave it credit for. After all, Charlie’s shoulder had been struck. He should not have doubted his own knowledge… He had known she would be fine… He hadn’t been worried at all… Noooo, of course he hadn’t. Oh! Look at that, now he was discovering sarcasm. Of all the times… No, he had to focus now.
Kougu attempted to speak as he noticed Charlie gradually becoming aware of her surroundings and, thankfully, swallowing the pill – yet his tongue seemed to be made of sawdust, for no matter how had he tried to form the words – no sound came out. Kougu struggled for a few moments longer before Charlie saved him the effort and beat him to it. “I’m alright.” she said weakly, and Kougu felt his eyebrows rise up to vanish into his messy black fringe at the irony of her words. Her tone clearly stated the complete opposite to her actual words. Charlie seemed to realize this, for she cleared her throat then and attempted again. “I'm fine, I think...” Kougu frowned slightly then, forgetting his joyous relief at hearing her voice and finding his brow furrowed in concern once more. Gunshot wounds were not to be taken lightly… He had to get her back, and treat her to the best of his abilities – as he had had to treat his own wounds many a time… That man… Then Charlie's voice interrupted his thoughts. Kougu was glad to have been distracted from his hatred, and he listened carefully as she began firing off enough questions that he could have sworn she’d been out for a hundred years rather than a couple of minutes. He felt a faint fondness at the thought, yet while his features softened slightly, his expression remained the same. He was hiding behind those walls again… Retreating back into his shell, for whatever reason. “I’ve deadened your arm.” Kougu said suddenly – beginning to answer her list of questions. “It will help keep the pain in check until the pill takes effect, and it slows bleeding as well. That you don’t need to worry about.” Kougu paused a moment, considering offering a comforting smile, but soon deciding against it. It would be too difficult, and he feared his face might crack. “I assume the gang are gone.” Kougu went on calmly, “I admit I didn’t check but- Charlie?!” Kougu broke off, a note of panic in his voice as he saw Charlie wince and raise a hand to her head, then emit a soft moan. However, before he could say anything else, she had begun speaking again. He frowned slightly, desperate to ask after her wellbeing, but resigned himself to answering her questions first. “They didn’t say anything that I know of.” Kougu replied softly. “You didn’t miss anything – at least – nothing that I did not miss as well, so you needn’t worry.” Kougu trailed off then, a soft sigh escaping his lips. Why had this happened…? Why…? He shook aside the pathetic thoughts, then began to panic suddenly as he felt an unexpected trembling. Charlie?! What was wrong?! Damn, if she- No… Wait… Kougu glanced toward Charlie, and a moment later it dawned on him that she was not the one trembling. At least, not directly. He, on the other hand, was shaking like a leaf – and this motion was causing Charlie to tremble simply because of the contact between them. Kougu felt a sickening wave of belated anxiety run through him, and his palms suddenly felt clammy with the same cold sweat beading on his forehead. So close… So close… He had nearly lost her. Kougu gulped silently and struggled to get his thoughts in order and calm his shaking body, but his efforts only worsened the trembling, and he suddenly found himself shaking so violently that he could barely keep his balance and support Charlie at the same time. Kougu abandoned all efforts then, and impulsively reached forward and tightened his grip on Charlie – forgetting all else as he held her in a gentle embrace. “You scared me half to death…” Kougu whispered hoarsely – a definite tremor to his voice. No more then a second later, Kougu’s grip slackened and he drew back, suddenly nervous and uncertain. He really wanted to get away from Charlie now – as far away as he could – but that was not an option. He couldn’t even let go of her, because he had to support her… Oh, why had he done that? Of all the stupid, senseless, irrational, illogical- “Come on.” Kougu said suddenly, breaking his silence with a strangely toneless voice. “We need to get you back. That pill should take effect in a minute and that should at least partially obliterate any pain, but it won’t help the bleeding or the shock. I’ve done what I can for now, but I need to get you back to sort it out properly, since I don’t have the supplies I need with me at the moment…” Kougu trailed off, thought for a moment, then grudgingly added, “Or you can go in to hospital, of course, but then you’re on your own. Either way, the first step is to get you back to the house… We’re not far away…” Kougu fell silent then, suddenly aware that he was thinking out loud, and glanced around briefly. He ought to keep Charlie as still as possible, so… Oh, great. Of all the people she could have been shot with, it just had to be him – the person most likely to freak out about having to carry her. He didn’t even dare suggest it. The prospect was simply too daunting. But she couldn’t walk… That would speed up her blood flow. Oh great, yet another predicament he couldn’t find a solution to. Kougu heaved a resigned sigh, then flipped open his tub of pills and swallowed one – more out of habit than anything else, since he knew all too well that he had already had far too many for one day. Kougu shrugged off the thoughts, then let his attention wander. He stared up at the late afternoon sky – quite content to watch the peaceful, cotton-wool clouds floating through the sky without a care in the world. He knew he ought to be getting down to business, but he was still feeling a little shaken and insecure and he certainly didn’t feel like suggesting he do something that he desperately didn’t want to. Maybe Charlie could just- No… Damn! Why was there no alternative solution to this stupid problem?! He would just wait for Charlie to come up with one… Yes, that was what he would do. Wow, now he was really becoming too dependent on her… Kougu sighed softly, then glanced back at Charlie, shifting uncomfortably on his cramping legs. He really couldn’t stall much longer – especially not in this position and, more importantly, while Charlie was gradually bleeding out her life’s blood onto the floor. Wow, some medic he was… Ah! There it was again, the sarcasm. Who would have thought that he of all people might manage to discover it…?
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:10 am
“I've deadened your arm” was the first answer I got, but shockingly, it really didn't make me feel much better. What did he mean, he'd 'deadened' it? He'd killed it? Well ,that certainly wasn't possible, because I could see it. But I couldn't feel or move it on my own. How had he done that? Better question, why had he done that? I considered the thought of asking him, but I quickly decided against it. I was too tired, and the last thing either of us needed was for me to get too panicky from the shock. I'd get jumpy and start hurting myself, Kougu would completely freak out, and then it would all go pear-shaped. Well, not like it wasn't already pretty much all over the place... since I, ya know, got shot. But if Kougu snapped right then I wasn't exactly in the position, or had anywhere near enough strength to get up, to be able to run from him at that point in time. Really, if I stood even a slight chance of keeping alive until I – at least – got to Kougu's house, it should really have been best that I kept my mouth shut. “ It will help keep the pain in check until the pill takes effect, and it slows bleeding as well. That you don’t need to worry about” was the next thing I heard him say, which pretty much answered the question that had just been haunting my mind. Well, that was clever of him. How had he done it? Had he given me an injection? Well, I somehow doubted it, as if I'd been able to open my eyes the whole time I would have probably felt something beforehand. Plus, I could see no evidence of of a needle piercing my skin, although it was rather difficult to see from the small splashes of blood that were dotted over my upper arm anyway. Had someone thrown a blood bomb at me or something? It certainly looked like it, although I knew it obviously wasn't the case. I'd heard the gunfire, I'd felt the impact of the bullet as it dug into my skin. Wait a second, is there even such thing as a blood bomb? There were water bombs, and dynamite bombs, but I'd never heard of a blood bomb before... Wait, what? What on earth was my point? I couldn't remember. But thank goodness Kougu saved me the confusion by speaking again. “You didn’t miss anything – at least – nothing that I did not miss as well, so you needn’t worry” Kougu asserted gently, and I found myself letting out a small, relieved breath. Good, so that meant nothing bad had happened since I...well... since I got shot. But you could say it what I deserved, and I was glad it was me that was the one that got hurt, as opposed to either of the two sides that were fighting over me. It's what I deserved for causing a fight over me, and putting my best – and only – friend in terrible danger. And it wasn't just anyone either, it was Kougu. He had one of the most adversary alternating personalities out of all the people I knew, one in which he had the capabilities of an armed madman, and the other where he was so nice he made me almost feel like I didn't deserve him. No, screw that. I didn't deserve him at all. He nearly risked his life for me, and how do I repay him? By getting myself shot. Grand. Just grand.
It was then when I found myself beginning to tremble, and I couldn't fathom for likes of me why on earth I was doing so. Was it the pill? Was I allergic to it? Was it making me have a fit? Frowning, I lifted my head to look down at the white tips of my trainers, but they weren't shaking. Wasn't a fit supposed to include the whole body? No, it felt like it was just my arms, and most of my top half that was shaking. My eyebrows shot up, and I let my gaze drag up to Kougu, just to realise, of course, it wasn't me who was shaking. It was Kougu. Crap, now he chose to freak out? Out of all the times... “Kougu?” I asked quietly, suddenly aware of why he was quivering. He'd had his personal space evaded far too much in the past few minutes, and now it wasn't just that, it was the fact that I was practically lying on him that was causing him such anguish. If I didn't get away from him in order for him to recover, he'd probably go mad with me in his arms and I'd have no chance. But it seemed my ability to movement was restricted, so I had to put my trust in him to move away from me himself. But the big question was, would he? Would he simply let go of me and step away to give himself chance to calm down? In my state? I didn't really think so, since he was being so caring, and what with me bleeding like I was... I tell you what, it was a good job I couldn't feel anything, as I'd probably be screaming in pain right now. That would be a little awkward, especially for Kougu.
It was that moment where I found myself slowly being brought up closer to Kougu's body, and before I could understand what was happening, I could feel the warmth of his body heat radiating from his jacket onto my own, almost erasing any shivers that were dribbling from my pale lips. It felt rather unnatural and abnormal at the start, but once I'd got it into my head that he was simply showing me how much he'd missed me, I was okay with it. Although, addmittedly, 'okay with it' was a pretty shocking understatement. I wasn't okay with it, my heart's beating kind of...doubled, since I had so not seen that coming. If I'd been in an alternate situation, I probably might have burst out into hysterics like earlier on. But I simply didn't have the energy to do so. Besides, I was kind of enjoying having him so close to me. It meant he was feeling more comfortable with me around him, and that he trusted himself more than he had previously. I held my breath as his grip tightened around my top half, just to make sure I didn't startle him in any way, and let my eyes slowly slip closed as his gentle voice hummed softly in my ear: “You scared me half to death.” His voice was barely audible from his quivering body, and I could almost feel the guilt wash over me, causing a sickly lump to appear in my throat. This was all my fault. All of it. Yet there was nothing I could do to stop it. I'm sorry... I thought helplessly, tears suddenly pricking at my eyes. But what was the point of regretting it now? Regrets didn't work, all they did was cause me yet more pain. I'd already caused conflict over me, I'd sat back and watched two people threaten each other's lives over me. I'd tried - and failed – to stop it, and now...
Well, now I had a nice big hole in me. How's that for help? I let out a long breath, swallowing the sickly lump in my throat. Tears weren't going to do either of us any good right now, words and action were. But action could wait, the words were coming. “I'd rather it was my shoulder than your head” I mumbled weakly, managing a small, rather pathetic twitch of a smile. “I'm sorry, I...” I trailed off, unable to think of a suitable answer. What was I meant to say? 'I'm sorry for shoving you out of the way of the bullet'? Or how about 'I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your arms, I can't help it'? Nah, there was no point trying to apologize. There was nothing I could apologize for, other than causing him so much upset, and making him shake like a hairless chihuahua from trying to help me. If he was so shaken why couldn't he forget about me and step away? It would save him the bother, and of course I might lose a lot of blood, but at least I wasn't lying there, having him towering over me as he effectively lost himself to the the madman that was the other half of his split personality. I would have much rather had died bleeding to death than died being murdered by my one and only friend since I was ten. “ We need to get you back. That pill should take effect in a minute and that should at least partially obliterate any pain, but it won’t help the bleeding or the shock. I’ve done what I can for now, but I need to get you back to sort it out properly, since I don’t have the supplies I need with me at the moment…” Kougu's calm, thoughtful voice broke my thoughts and I was surprised to see how quickly he was able to recover after his traumatising state just a moment or two ago. I had to hand it to him, he was some genius when it came to, well.... everything but socialising. He could fight, he could do maths, he could nurse... He could read Japanese, for goodness' sake. How many geniuses could do that? Other than Japanese ones, that is... Okay, I thought I've completely lost my point...again. But once more, Kougu saved my impossible, aimless thinking by speaking. “ Or you can go in to hospital, of course, but then you’re on your own. Either way, the first step is to get you back to the house… We’re not far away…” And at the sound of 'hospital' my eyes widened, and I immediately shook my head. I was not going to any hospital, not now, not ever. Kougu was much...much nicer. Besides, everyone would know I'd been shot then. And (xD) that was something I could not risk happening. “No... no no no no no....no hospital” I answered quickly, my head still shaking from side-to-side. “No one can know about this, not even my mother. She'd see you with your gun and then she'd see my wound and she'd put two and two together. She'd get the wrong impression and she'd go insane. But your right, let's just get back...” I brought my left hand to my side and rested it on the tarmac, which was cold and frigid under my pale skin. I just had to get up. Then I would just be able to walk back to the house, then hopefully we'd be able to manage to get to Kougu's bathroom and get it all sorted before mum even noticed we'd got back. I couldn't cope with her demanding accusations, especially after how I'd ended our conversation when I'd left the house, about her thinking I was actually...going out...like out out with Kougu. Honestly! I couldn't even do as much as look after her after what she thought I meant when I told her what we were doing. The only guy I'd gone out, ever, was Jimmy. And now, that really didn't count. Since it was hardly a proper relationship, what with him and his 'I own you' attitude. “Kougu, just put me down if you feel uncomfortable” I spoke with a hint of gentleness in my tone. And I meant it too. Honestly, I'd much rather him keeping his distance and feeling relaxed about it than forcing himself to be so close to me and having the risk of...well, the risk of snapping. “I'll be fine. I'll try walking, if it's bothering you so much. You've done what you can with what you've got. Don't worry about me, I'll cope until we've got back to the house.” I added, attempting to shuffle onto my side. But it didn't exactly work for me. Damn... Why was everything turning against me all of a sudden?
It was then when I found myself beginning to tremble, and I couldn't fathom for likes of me why on earth I was doing so. Was it the pill? Was I allergic to it? Was it making me have a fit? Frowning, I lifted my head to look down at the white tips of my trainers, but they weren't shaking. Wasn't a fit supposed to include the whole body? No, it felt like it was just my arms, and most of my top half that was shaking. My eyebrows shot up, and I let my gaze drag up to Kougu, just to realise, of course, it wasn't me who was shaking. It was Kougu. Crap, now he chose to freak out? Out of all the times... “Kougu?” I asked quietly, suddenly aware of why he was quivering. He'd had his personal space evaded far too much in the past few minutes, and now it wasn't just that, it was the fact that I was practically lying on him that was causing him such anguish. If I didn't get away from him in order for him to recover, he'd probably go mad with me in his arms and I'd have no chance. But it seemed my ability to movement was restricted, so I had to put my trust in him to move away from me himself. But the big question was, would he? Would he simply let go of me and step away to give himself chance to calm down? In my state? I didn't really think so, since he was being so caring, and what with me bleeding like I was... I tell you what, it was a good job I couldn't feel anything, as I'd probably be screaming in pain right now. That would be a little awkward, especially for Kougu.
It was that moment where I found myself slowly being brought up closer to Kougu's body, and before I could understand what was happening, I could feel the warmth of his body heat radiating from his jacket onto my own, almost erasing any shivers that were dribbling from my pale lips. It felt rather unnatural and abnormal at the start, but once I'd got it into my head that he was simply showing me how much he'd missed me, I was okay with it. Although, addmittedly, 'okay with it' was a pretty shocking understatement. I wasn't okay with it, my heart's beating kind of...doubled, since I had so not seen that coming. If I'd been in an alternate situation, I probably might have burst out into hysterics like earlier on. But I simply didn't have the energy to do so. Besides, I was kind of enjoying having him so close to me. It meant he was feeling more comfortable with me around him, and that he trusted himself more than he had previously. I held my breath as his grip tightened around my top half, just to make sure I didn't startle him in any way, and let my eyes slowly slip closed as his gentle voice hummed softly in my ear: “You scared me half to death.” His voice was barely audible from his quivering body, and I could almost feel the guilt wash over me, causing a sickly lump to appear in my throat. This was all my fault. All of it. Yet there was nothing I could do to stop it. I'm sorry... I thought helplessly, tears suddenly pricking at my eyes. But what was the point of regretting it now? Regrets didn't work, all they did was cause me yet more pain. I'd already caused conflict over me, I'd sat back and watched two people threaten each other's lives over me. I'd tried - and failed – to stop it, and now...
Well, now I had a nice big hole in me. How's that for help? I let out a long breath, swallowing the sickly lump in my throat. Tears weren't going to do either of us any good right now, words and action were. But action could wait, the words were coming. “I'd rather it was my shoulder than your head” I mumbled weakly, managing a small, rather pathetic twitch of a smile. “I'm sorry, I...” I trailed off, unable to think of a suitable answer. What was I meant to say? 'I'm sorry for shoving you out of the way of the bullet'? Or how about 'I'm sorry I'm bleeding to death in your arms, I can't help it'? Nah, there was no point trying to apologize. There was nothing I could apologize for, other than causing him so much upset, and making him shake like a hairless chihuahua from trying to help me. If he was so shaken why couldn't he forget about me and step away? It would save him the bother, and of course I might lose a lot of blood, but at least I wasn't lying there, having him towering over me as he effectively lost himself to the the madman that was the other half of his split personality. I would have much rather had died bleeding to death than died being murdered by my one and only friend since I was ten. “ We need to get you back. That pill should take effect in a minute and that should at least partially obliterate any pain, but it won’t help the bleeding or the shock. I’ve done what I can for now, but I need to get you back to sort it out properly, since I don’t have the supplies I need with me at the moment…” Kougu's calm, thoughtful voice broke my thoughts and I was surprised to see how quickly he was able to recover after his traumatising state just a moment or two ago. I had to hand it to him, he was some genius when it came to, well.... everything but socialising. He could fight, he could do maths, he could nurse... He could read Japanese, for goodness' sake. How many geniuses could do that? Other than Japanese ones, that is... Okay, I thought I've completely lost my point...again. But once more, Kougu saved my impossible, aimless thinking by speaking. “ Or you can go in to hospital, of course, but then you’re on your own. Either way, the first step is to get you back to the house… We’re not far away…” And at the sound of 'hospital' my eyes widened, and I immediately shook my head. I was not going to any hospital, not now, not ever. Kougu was much...much nicer. Besides, everyone would know I'd been shot then. And (xD) that was something I could not risk happening. “No... no no no no no....no hospital” I answered quickly, my head still shaking from side-to-side. “No one can know about this, not even my mother. She'd see you with your gun and then she'd see my wound and she'd put two and two together. She'd get the wrong impression and she'd go insane. But your right, let's just get back...” I brought my left hand to my side and rested it on the tarmac, which was cold and frigid under my pale skin. I just had to get up. Then I would just be able to walk back to the house, then hopefully we'd be able to manage to get to Kougu's bathroom and get it all sorted before mum even noticed we'd got back. I couldn't cope with her demanding accusations, especially after how I'd ended our conversation when I'd left the house, about her thinking I was actually...going out...like out out with Kougu. Honestly! I couldn't even do as much as look after her after what she thought I meant when I told her what we were doing. The only guy I'd gone out, ever, was Jimmy. And now, that really didn't count. Since it was hardly a proper relationship, what with him and his 'I own you' attitude. “Kougu, just put me down if you feel uncomfortable” I spoke with a hint of gentleness in my tone. And I meant it too. Honestly, I'd much rather him keeping his distance and feeling relaxed about it than forcing himself to be so close to me and having the risk of...well, the risk of snapping. “I'll be fine. I'll try walking, if it's bothering you so much. You've done what you can with what you've got. Don't worry about me, I'll cope until we've got back to the house.” I added, attempting to shuffle onto my side. But it didn't exactly work for me. Damn... Why was everything turning against me all of a sudden?
Last edited by Xx Dreamerz xX on Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:44 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : *rolls eyes* Sorted xP Read 2nd paragraph ;))
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:09 am
((Sorry about the powerplay… 
I did try to avoid it… Kinda… *sheepish grin* Please just block if you aren’t happy. Polo was being naughty in this post… Breaking all the rules… Hehe!))
’I'd rather it was my shoulder than your head’, Charlie said finally, her weak voice instantly catching Kougu’s attention. At first, Kougu was not sure what to think with regards to that statement, but the next moment, so many different thoughts ran through his head that he could barely keep track of them. He was somewhat grateful, in a way… Grateful that Charlie actually did not want to see him killed – and to such an extent that she would endure such pain just to save his life… He knew he did not deserve that, he knew it all too well, yet at the same time he was somewhat happy, no, completely overjoyed, that she actually cared that much. When was the last time somebody had cared whether he lived or died – unless it was because they were afraid of losing their precious ‘tool’? Then again, perhaps Charlie was just one of those people who hated to see others get hurt… But then why was she still around after she’d seen him almost turn that policeman into human mincemeat? Well, no matter what the reason, he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her… But then again, other than a bullet-hole through his heart, what did he deserve? Not much – that was what. He was in no doubt that the endless punishment inflicted upon him by life itself were exactly what he deserved to repay his sins. He would endure Hell-On-Earth until he entered the fiery pit itself – if it even existed. What did he know? He was only allowed to believe fact… Cold, hard fact that he could prove and defend. But the truth was, truth hurt. Fact hurt. He wanted nothing more than to repent from it all and just live in a world of fantasy forever – but that was not going to happen. He had been through this conversation with himself before. He could not- If only the bullet had hit his head! No, no! He could not- was not allowed to think like that… Oh, who was he trying to kid? He knew better than anybody that he would have been completely overjoyed if that bullet had struck him down. No afterlife could possibly be worse than what he endured on earth. He just didn’t want to hurt anybody… He didn’t want to hurt anybody ever again… Yet look what had happened! Charlie was lying in his arms, bleeding, hurt, shot… And basically telling him that she was glad she had been shot instead of him! How could she be so kind?! If only she had just blamed it all on him, crushed him yet again, this might have been easier to deal with… But no, he deserved this guilt, and he would hold it close until it suffocated him and he finally got to experience death’s sweet release. Yes, the day that he died would be the best of his life. He had been looking forward to it ever since that day… Oh, to hell with it all! He needed to focus now – no more pointless thinking. Charlie was alive, she didn’t hate him, and there was nothing he could do about it – so he would just have to accept this strike of good fortune and move on. There, he had a grip – and he was not going to relinquish it. “That makes one of us…” He muttered quietly – finally responding, though speaking more to himself than to Charlie.
Kougu glanced up at Charlie’s next outburst, and he was secretly relieved that she had chosen not to go to the hospital. He had been hoping she would say that… He didn’t know how he would have coped with pacing around that empty house while his one and only friend’s life was in the hands of another. Kougu shuddered slightly at the thought. It was simply too horrific to comprehend. “That’s fine.” He soothed quietly. “We’ll make a plan – you just worry about yourself.” He encouraged gently, glancing down at her momentarily before letting his gaze wander again. Damn, this was not good… No matter how calm he appeared – and he was indeed making a great effort to appear calm – he knew that he could snap at any moment, completely without warning, and then it would all be over… No- he couldn’t even think about that. He would not think about that right now… He just wouldn’t, no, he just couldn’t let it happen. Simple. Kougu attempted to shift his himself into a more comfortable position then to ease the cramps in his legs, but before he had achieved it, Charlie was speaking again. ’Kougu, just put me down if you feel uncomfortable. I'll be fine. I'll try walking, if it's bothering you so much. You've done what you can with what you've got. Don't worry about me, I'll cope until we've got back to the house.’ Well, if there was anything she could have said to convince him to get over his pathetic issues and take action, it was that. Even in her state – she was still thinking of him. Even though he knew from personal experience she could barely move, she offered to try to walk, just to spare him the discomfort… Geez, but she was amazing. She definitely deserved better company than him… Well, there was nothing he could do about that now. He would just have to do what he could – and he could damn sure carry her the few hundred meters to the house after all she’d done for him! He would just have to grit his teeth and do his best to hold his sanity… He was so soaked in meds that he probably wouldn’t have a problem anyway. The way he was acting so out-of-character proved it… “Don’t be a fool.” Kougu muttered softly, glancing down at Charlie. “I owe you my life now, remember? Besides – I know damn well that you can’t walk, or if you can, you’ll make it a lot worse trying…” Kougu sighed, then shook his head. He snatched up his gun from the ground, then hooked his arms more firmly under Charlie’s shoulders. He finally managed to forsake his uncomfortable position, and a low groan escaped his lips as his stiff muscles stretched painfully. A soft chuckle escaped his lips then – for he found it bitterly amusing that he could complain about stiff muscles while Charlie had a bullet in her shoulder… Shrugging off his bitter thoughts, Kougu dragged Charlie upright as gently as he could. He was able to manoeuvre her with surprising ease considering his weak, scrawny appearance – thus it seemed he was actually stronger than one might expect from looking at him. Of course, with the amount of ‘training’ he had endured, it was hardly unexpected… Kougu closed his eyes for a moment then. He took a deep breath to steal himself, then let it out in a calm, steady flow. His jaw clenched in determination, and he forced his thoughts away from the present – determined not to over think all this. He could do this… He would not lose control. With those thoughts in mind, Kougu lifted Charlie off the ground and into his arms. “Left arm around my neck.” Kougu stated stiffly, staring in the opposite direction. “And if I attack you – try to break it.” He added as a bitter afterthought – already starting to walk back toward the house at a brisk pace. Geez – what a nightmare…
((Time skipping – feel free to ignore this part if you have other ideas. Haha! ))
Each step Kougu took seemed to take him further and further away from the house rather than towards it. Each second seemed to tick by like an hour – and all the while he was painfully aware of how close Charlie was to him, and how fragile her entire existence seemed. One strike… That was all it would take… One second without control, one well-aimed blow, and she would be done. Finished. Dead. Then once again that cruel, taunting voice would fill his mind… Jeering and gloating… ’Another one bites the dust eh, Kougu?’ No… Nobody was going to die this time. He had made a promise… He would not break his promise! Kougu shook off his thoughts and walked onward – his jaw clenched so hard that it was beginning to hurt, even under his rather extensive overdose of painkillers. Actually, it was surprising he was still alive after taking so many. They were powerful things, after all. Glad of the distracting thoughts, Kougu was able to cover the rest of the distance with a surprisingly small amount of stress. Finally, the familiar dented door was before him. Hoping he hadn’t locked it, Kougu approached the door. He considered it for a moment, then raised his leg and kicked it – hard. Shock jolted up his leg, and he was certain it would have converted to rather intense pain if he hadn’t prepared himself to block it out. The door made an ominous splintering sound in protest, but grudgingly swung forward to emit them all the same. It bounced off the wall inside and launched a counter-attack, but Kougu brushed that aside with his shoulder and moved inside. He could hear the muffled sound of the television blaring from the lounge, and he could see the flickering light on the wall. Resisting the temptation to stand and stare at it, Kougu crept quietly into the bathroom and deposited Charlie on the edge of the bathtub. He stood for a moment with his head bowed and his dark hair hiding his face completely, then the gun slipped from his limp fingers and clattered to the floor. Kougu staggered backwards until his back struck the opposite wall, then he slid to the ground – his face still hidden. He sat perfectly still a moment, then a slight shaking became visible in his shoulders. For a while Kougu was silent, but then a quiet chuckling became audible. “We made it.” He announced softly – his voice so weakened by relief that it barely seemed his own. Kougu straightened then and fell back against the wall – the back of his head striking the hard surface with somewhat more force than he had intended and causing little white lights to pop before his eyes. “Okay…” He muttered, pushing himself to his feet. He struggled to balance on his relief-weakened legs, but he remained standing all the same. “Right then… I should probably-“ Kougu began moving toward his medicine cabinet as he spoke, but then something seemed to catch his attention and he froze suddenly. A familiar voice bounced of the walls from the television in the other room, and entered his ears as a muffled echo – yet he recognised it all the same. That voice he could never forget… Kougu’s expression at that moment was horrifying – for there was such hatred written in his usually gentle features that he appeared almost monstrous. One would not have been surprised to see smoke shooting from his ears considering the fiery hatred emanating from him. Once again, Kougu’s head bowed and his thick black hair fell down to hide his expression in its shadow. Kougu began trembling again now – only this time it was from fury. He struggled to keep his anger and hatred in check, but to no avail. With a growl, Kougu drew back his fist and wheeled around, then slammed his bony knuckles into the mirror on the wall. He had hoped the noise, or at least the pain, might distract him and help him to keep a hold on his sanity – but it seemed this was not the case. The mirror shattered, and the flying shards of it ripped at the skin on Kougu’s hand, tearing it apart with their blade-sharp edges. Blood pooled instantly on the surface of his clenched fist – and ribbons of it followed the glittering shards of mirror as they fell to the ground – some shattering further into a silvery dust. The droplets of blood fell with sickening plops to add a glittering tinge of crimson to the silver on the floor. Kougu remained still a moment then, and his bleeding fist fell back to his side – dripping blood sickeningly onto the floor until a small puddle pooled there. Kougu’s shoulders began to shake again then – and within the next moment it became apparent that he was simply laughing again – only this time it was different. It was a sadistic sound – a maddened, mirthful laughter that flowed quietly from the cruel sneer of his lips as he stood – his back still to Charlie – his face hidden in shadows. Kougu was oblivious to all happening around him, and all he saw was black… Yet he felt his body turn slowly toward Charlie and, with a nightmarish quality, slowly raise his head to reveal the sadistic smirk on his lips. Yet he was powerless to change it… Then it all faded away and he found himself devoid even of thought. Meanwhile, Kougu continued to watch Charlie – then took a single step toward her.
I did try to avoid it… Kinda… *sheepish grin* Please just block if you aren’t happy. Polo was being naughty in this post… Breaking all the rules… Hehe!))’I'd rather it was my shoulder than your head’, Charlie said finally, her weak voice instantly catching Kougu’s attention. At first, Kougu was not sure what to think with regards to that statement, but the next moment, so many different thoughts ran through his head that he could barely keep track of them. He was somewhat grateful, in a way… Grateful that Charlie actually did not want to see him killed – and to such an extent that she would endure such pain just to save his life… He knew he did not deserve that, he knew it all too well, yet at the same time he was somewhat happy, no, completely overjoyed, that she actually cared that much. When was the last time somebody had cared whether he lived or died – unless it was because they were afraid of losing their precious ‘tool’? Then again, perhaps Charlie was just one of those people who hated to see others get hurt… But then why was she still around after she’d seen him almost turn that policeman into human mincemeat? Well, no matter what the reason, he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her… But then again, other than a bullet-hole through his heart, what did he deserve? Not much – that was what. He was in no doubt that the endless punishment inflicted upon him by life itself were exactly what he deserved to repay his sins. He would endure Hell-On-Earth until he entered the fiery pit itself – if it even existed. What did he know? He was only allowed to believe fact… Cold, hard fact that he could prove and defend. But the truth was, truth hurt. Fact hurt. He wanted nothing more than to repent from it all and just live in a world of fantasy forever – but that was not going to happen. He had been through this conversation with himself before. He could not- If only the bullet had hit his head! No, no! He could not- was not allowed to think like that… Oh, who was he trying to kid? He knew better than anybody that he would have been completely overjoyed if that bullet had struck him down. No afterlife could possibly be worse than what he endured on earth. He just didn’t want to hurt anybody… He didn’t want to hurt anybody ever again… Yet look what had happened! Charlie was lying in his arms, bleeding, hurt, shot… And basically telling him that she was glad she had been shot instead of him! How could she be so kind?! If only she had just blamed it all on him, crushed him yet again, this might have been easier to deal with… But no, he deserved this guilt, and he would hold it close until it suffocated him and he finally got to experience death’s sweet release. Yes, the day that he died would be the best of his life. He had been looking forward to it ever since that day… Oh, to hell with it all! He needed to focus now – no more pointless thinking. Charlie was alive, she didn’t hate him, and there was nothing he could do about it – so he would just have to accept this strike of good fortune and move on. There, he had a grip – and he was not going to relinquish it. “That makes one of us…” He muttered quietly – finally responding, though speaking more to himself than to Charlie.
Kougu glanced up at Charlie’s next outburst, and he was secretly relieved that she had chosen not to go to the hospital. He had been hoping she would say that… He didn’t know how he would have coped with pacing around that empty house while his one and only friend’s life was in the hands of another. Kougu shuddered slightly at the thought. It was simply too horrific to comprehend. “That’s fine.” He soothed quietly. “We’ll make a plan – you just worry about yourself.” He encouraged gently, glancing down at her momentarily before letting his gaze wander again. Damn, this was not good… No matter how calm he appeared – and he was indeed making a great effort to appear calm – he knew that he could snap at any moment, completely without warning, and then it would all be over… No- he couldn’t even think about that. He would not think about that right now… He just wouldn’t, no, he just couldn’t let it happen. Simple. Kougu attempted to shift his himself into a more comfortable position then to ease the cramps in his legs, but before he had achieved it, Charlie was speaking again. ’Kougu, just put me down if you feel uncomfortable. I'll be fine. I'll try walking, if it's bothering you so much. You've done what you can with what you've got. Don't worry about me, I'll cope until we've got back to the house.’ Well, if there was anything she could have said to convince him to get over his pathetic issues and take action, it was that. Even in her state – she was still thinking of him. Even though he knew from personal experience she could barely move, she offered to try to walk, just to spare him the discomfort… Geez, but she was amazing. She definitely deserved better company than him… Well, there was nothing he could do about that now. He would just have to do what he could – and he could damn sure carry her the few hundred meters to the house after all she’d done for him! He would just have to grit his teeth and do his best to hold his sanity… He was so soaked in meds that he probably wouldn’t have a problem anyway. The way he was acting so out-of-character proved it… “Don’t be a fool.” Kougu muttered softly, glancing down at Charlie. “I owe you my life now, remember? Besides – I know damn well that you can’t walk, or if you can, you’ll make it a lot worse trying…” Kougu sighed, then shook his head. He snatched up his gun from the ground, then hooked his arms more firmly under Charlie’s shoulders. He finally managed to forsake his uncomfortable position, and a low groan escaped his lips as his stiff muscles stretched painfully. A soft chuckle escaped his lips then – for he found it bitterly amusing that he could complain about stiff muscles while Charlie had a bullet in her shoulder… Shrugging off his bitter thoughts, Kougu dragged Charlie upright as gently as he could. He was able to manoeuvre her with surprising ease considering his weak, scrawny appearance – thus it seemed he was actually stronger than one might expect from looking at him. Of course, with the amount of ‘training’ he had endured, it was hardly unexpected… Kougu closed his eyes for a moment then. He took a deep breath to steal himself, then let it out in a calm, steady flow. His jaw clenched in determination, and he forced his thoughts away from the present – determined not to over think all this. He could do this… He would not lose control. With those thoughts in mind, Kougu lifted Charlie off the ground and into his arms. “Left arm around my neck.” Kougu stated stiffly, staring in the opposite direction. “And if I attack you – try to break it.” He added as a bitter afterthought – already starting to walk back toward the house at a brisk pace. Geez – what a nightmare…
((Time skipping – feel free to ignore this part if you have other ideas.
Haha! ))Each step Kougu took seemed to take him further and further away from the house rather than towards it. Each second seemed to tick by like an hour – and all the while he was painfully aware of how close Charlie was to him, and how fragile her entire existence seemed. One strike… That was all it would take… One second without control, one well-aimed blow, and she would be done. Finished. Dead. Then once again that cruel, taunting voice would fill his mind… Jeering and gloating… ’Another one bites the dust eh, Kougu?’ No… Nobody was going to die this time. He had made a promise… He would not break his promise! Kougu shook off his thoughts and walked onward – his jaw clenched so hard that it was beginning to hurt, even under his rather extensive overdose of painkillers. Actually, it was surprising he was still alive after taking so many. They were powerful things, after all. Glad of the distracting thoughts, Kougu was able to cover the rest of the distance with a surprisingly small amount of stress. Finally, the familiar dented door was before him. Hoping he hadn’t locked it, Kougu approached the door. He considered it for a moment, then raised his leg and kicked it – hard. Shock jolted up his leg, and he was certain it would have converted to rather intense pain if he hadn’t prepared himself to block it out. The door made an ominous splintering sound in protest, but grudgingly swung forward to emit them all the same. It bounced off the wall inside and launched a counter-attack, but Kougu brushed that aside with his shoulder and moved inside. He could hear the muffled sound of the television blaring from the lounge, and he could see the flickering light on the wall. Resisting the temptation to stand and stare at it, Kougu crept quietly into the bathroom and deposited Charlie on the edge of the bathtub. He stood for a moment with his head bowed and his dark hair hiding his face completely, then the gun slipped from his limp fingers and clattered to the floor. Kougu staggered backwards until his back struck the opposite wall, then he slid to the ground – his face still hidden. He sat perfectly still a moment, then a slight shaking became visible in his shoulders. For a while Kougu was silent, but then a quiet chuckling became audible. “We made it.” He announced softly – his voice so weakened by relief that it barely seemed his own. Kougu straightened then and fell back against the wall – the back of his head striking the hard surface with somewhat more force than he had intended and causing little white lights to pop before his eyes. “Okay…” He muttered, pushing himself to his feet. He struggled to balance on his relief-weakened legs, but he remained standing all the same. “Right then… I should probably-“ Kougu began moving toward his medicine cabinet as he spoke, but then something seemed to catch his attention and he froze suddenly. A familiar voice bounced of the walls from the television in the other room, and entered his ears as a muffled echo – yet he recognised it all the same. That voice he could never forget… Kougu’s expression at that moment was horrifying – for there was such hatred written in his usually gentle features that he appeared almost monstrous. One would not have been surprised to see smoke shooting from his ears considering the fiery hatred emanating from him. Once again, Kougu’s head bowed and his thick black hair fell down to hide his expression in its shadow. Kougu began trembling again now – only this time it was from fury. He struggled to keep his anger and hatred in check, but to no avail. With a growl, Kougu drew back his fist and wheeled around, then slammed his bony knuckles into the mirror on the wall. He had hoped the noise, or at least the pain, might distract him and help him to keep a hold on his sanity – but it seemed this was not the case. The mirror shattered, and the flying shards of it ripped at the skin on Kougu’s hand, tearing it apart with their blade-sharp edges. Blood pooled instantly on the surface of his clenched fist – and ribbons of it followed the glittering shards of mirror as they fell to the ground – some shattering further into a silvery dust. The droplets of blood fell with sickening plops to add a glittering tinge of crimson to the silver on the floor. Kougu remained still a moment then, and his bleeding fist fell back to his side – dripping blood sickeningly onto the floor until a small puddle pooled there. Kougu’s shoulders began to shake again then – and within the next moment it became apparent that he was simply laughing again – only this time it was different. It was a sadistic sound – a maddened, mirthful laughter that flowed quietly from the cruel sneer of his lips as he stood – his back still to Charlie – his face hidden in shadows. Kougu was oblivious to all happening around him, and all he saw was black… Yet he felt his body turn slowly toward Charlie and, with a nightmarish quality, slowly raise his head to reveal the sadistic smirk on his lips. Yet he was powerless to change it… Then it all faded away and he found himself devoid even of thought. Meanwhile, Kougu continued to watch Charlie – then took a single step toward her.
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Wed Sep 29, 2010 1:51 pm
“I owe you my life, remember?” Kougu's gentle words sounded false in my ears, and for a moment I was almost sure it wasn't me he was talking to. I wasn't used to people saying such things to me. Of course, why would I be? These things didn't seem like the work of a heroine, only of one whom did not wish to stand by and watch those she cared about get hurt without at least trying to do something about it. I hadn't exactly planned to get shot in the shoulder, if at all. Although, I had known the bullet was coming, I hadn't completely planned for it to hit me. Still, thinking back, it would have been abnormally lucky to not have been hit by the bullet, as I'd practically thrown myself in that direction. In a way, I had to thank Jimmy's clumsy shooting skills for not being dead in the first place, as instinct tells me he was probably heading for Kougu's head, even if it was nowhere near. If I hadn't got Kougu out of the way in time, the bullet would have most likely hit his stomach or lower chest – seen as it was at my shoulder, and he was a good foot taller than I was – then he would have had less chance of surviving than I had right then. However, I was lucky, as the bullet had only hit my shoulder, and not the one that was close to my heart, either. If I'd been hit any lower, I would have probably lost far too much blood there and then and would have been half dead by now... If there ever was such a thing. So really, I owed Jimmy my life, since his shooting was so bad... No... No, I was over-thinking this. I had to focus. I had to stay awake...
So you can imagine how shocked I felt as Kougu gripped my shoulders, practically dragging me to my feet, which I'd almost forgotten I still had, since most of my body was in shut-down mode. Hence the fact it took me a minute or two of staggering the first couple of steps to get the strength and blood flow back into my leg muscles, yet even then I seemed to struggle. To be honest I felt rather stupid, since I had Kougu's vice grip supporting and keeping me upright, yet I still was in fear of falling whenever there was a slight bump in the ground, or if we went up or down slopes or pavement steps. I wasn't used to being so weak, and what troubled me most was that I had no idea why I was the way I was. Was it something to do with my awkward fall? My blood loss? Or was it all in my head? Somehow I didn't think so, since I knew more than anyone else my imagination was nowhere near that good. Still, it was worth trying out. I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and tried to force my trembling legs to move steadily across the stone slabs carefully placed in neat rows beside the roadside. It didn't work. With a quiet squeak, sometimes reminding some people like a little guinea-pig (Oh yeah, that's me xD), I shuffled forward, almost doubling over towards the hard ground. It was a good job Kougu had been there to support me, otherwise I would have definitely gone flying. “Left arm around my neck” Kougu instructed suddenly, and despite the edge to his voice, I knew it was a good idea. Seen as I was at risk of slipping and breaking something, and that would not go down well alongside a bullet wound. So I did as I was told, nodding obediently, and keeping my body close to his in order to keep my balance intact. Now I knew he could trust me., and I could trust him to stay sane around me, I was more comfortable staying within his personal space bubble. Plus, it made me feel so much better knowing I had a friend as close as he was to me that I could actually stand near, without having any fear of being ditched, or 'betrayed' as Kougu put it, and it satisfied me that I could finally trust for him to not try to kill me just for being anywhere near him. It meant I was getting somewhere, finally. “And if I attack you – try to break it” Kougu added, and although no words came from my mouth, there were three I was almost certain I nearly mumbled under my breath: Not very likely.
Besides, what was the point trying when I was in the state I was in? I couldn't walk, let alone run. My top half was splashed all over with droplets of dry, dirty maroon blood. 'Weakness' was planted all over my body, and there was not a single muscle in my body that seemed to be working properly, other than my heart, and even that seemed to be failing on me. Of course it was too bad, but all this staggering around was making me unusually done in. There was simply no way I would be able to fight back if he turned on me now.
I could see the house slowly approaching my vision, and I couldn't help but let a relieved sigh escape my abnormally pink lips – which were becoming paler and paler the more blood was pumped around my body, although I hadn't noticed that yet. But I couldn't help but feel glad we had come back safe and unscathed... Well, scathed, very scathed. In my view, anyway. But we were safe, and away from those... those freaks. Of course, I had a nice big hole in my right shoulder, but at least I was in good hands now. And long behold, no yelling, and no arguments!
But I couldn't celebrate just yet, we hadn't even got through the door. In fact, we seemed to be slowing down, I noticed with a twitch of a frown. Then I realised, Kougu hadn't said a single word since we actually got going. My head slowly turned to him, although I couldn't help but wince slightly at the sudden stiffness I was feeling all down my spine. Was he okay? Was he finally letting what he was doing sink in, and actually freaking out over having me so close? I hoped not, as now was a really, really bad time. I was alone, we were outside, he had a gun, and I wasn't exactly in any position to fight back, or even flee. Besides, my mother was still back on the house. I would never leave her, even if she was abusive towards me at times. She was still my mother. As we slowly came onto the front step, I watched with surprised eyes as Kougu loudly and effectively kicked the door open – without walking into it first, I noticed. I tried towards the bathroom, clumsily walking into every object that sat in my path...including the table corner and a chair leg... but I could barely do anything about it, as even in the comfort of Kougu's well-kept home, I was still trembling. I couldn't help it, I was that weak, standing took more effort than it should have done. Quietly, I let Kougu lead me through the bathroom door and place me in a sitting position on the edge of the bathtub. Somewhere to sit... I thought with a happy sigh, hallelujah. Finally, my legs stopped trembling so, and I could let myself relax slightly at the thought that it was all going to be alright, that I was not going to feel any more unnecessary pain. But I was wrong.
As soon as Kougu's shaky voice began to echo quietly through the room I could almost sense something that told me instinctively that something was wrong. He started towards a small cabinet beside the sink, which I presume held all the pills and medicines that he needed for every occasion, every illness, and every time he needed them most. But just as his hand was about to raise to the small round, freshly polished handle, he stopped. What he was thinking about, I had no idea, but it had been as if he'd caught something from outside the room that had come to his attention. I hadn't heard anything, but it obviously had to be something to make him stop and turn the way he did. Slowly, very slowly, like time was purposefully moving in slow motion, like in a horror movie when a character had just heard a door creak in a supposedly empty house. The knowledge that something was going to happen, that at some time the monster was going to jump out of nowhere and skill someone, it was sickening. Everything went quiet. Deafeningly quiet. All that could be heard was Kougu's quiet breathing across the room, and my heart punching violently against my chest. “Kougu?” I asked in a shaken whisper, praying that he'd give me a sign, a single sign that would hint to me exactly what was wrong. I wanted to know what was wrong. Why had he gone so quiet all of a sudden? “Ko-”
CRASH! Before I could register what was going on, Kougu's fist rammed into the large mirror beside him, causing bits of mirrored glass to fly in a chaotic mess through the air and land scattered by my feet. I almost forgot to breathe. Kougu's face was hidden within the darkness of the shadows, which made it almost worse. Was it something I'd done? What on earth could have made him infuriated enough to smash a mirror with his bare hands? Did he know that was supposed to count as seven years bad luck? Huh, I doubted something as petty as that made any difference to him. I watched him, silent, with wide, terrified eyes. I didn't like this. This was not good. “Kougu?” I asked again, my voice suddenly squeaky and barely audible through the sudden fear that rushed through my veins. I'd not seen him this mad since... well, ever. At least, not towards me. I watched him cautiously as he stepped out of the shadows, revealing his damaged hand, the blood beads rolling down his palms and dripping off his fingertips. Then I saw his face.
Fear would have been an understatement. Even alarm didn't even seem to fit the emotion I felt at that moment, and my large, glassy eyes saw the chilling smirk plastered on his face that struck a whole new form of terror into my body... that even my abusive mother had been unable to achieve with her never-ending threats and daily beatings, yet one look from this guy and I was practically trembling, frozen to my spot in fear that a single move would be my last This wasn't the boy who took me in, who had helped me begin to rebuild my life from the wreck it had become... No, this was the boy who tried to kill the policeman on the street those couple of days earlier. This was the boy who would stop at nothing to cause bloodshed and death to the innocent whether it was necessary or not. Before I could stop myself, I rose to my feet, completely forgetting about how weak my legs were still from the fall, and slowly began to back away from him. I had several options here: 1) Run. Out of the house, out of the street, out of the neighbourhood. Just get away from him. But realistically that wasn't an option, as first of all he was blocking my way out anyway, I was definitely not leaving my mother alone to be slaughtered, and with a mix of his skills and my lack of ability to barely even move, he'd beat me to it anyway. So really, that wasn't even an option. Okay. Option 2) talk him out of it. It was definitely worth a try, since I obviously wasn't going anywhere. But it was as if I had been silenced. No matter how hard I tried nothing seemed to come out, other than a pathetic mouse-like squeak. I was hopeless at this. Option 3) Fight. Again, not an option. Even with wounds as bad as his, he was still stronger than me, and his hand-eye coordination was no doubt much better than mine. Hell, everyone's was better than mine. So really, in a word, I was stumped. With a slight gasp I felt something cold and round bang the back of my leg, and the next thing I knew I was falling towards the blurriness that was now the bathroom floor. I landed on my shoulder – the one without the bullet wound, thankfully – and inhaled a sharp breath through my tightly clenched teeth as I felt the small bade-like shapes of glass pierce my palms like needles, pain shooting all up my cold, goose-pimpled arms. Scrunching my eyes closed, I placed my right palm onto the tiled floor, only to let out a small yelp as I slipped back onto my elbow, lying helplessly beside the object that I later found I had to blame for my fall, the toilet seat.
You won't hurt me... the words sang back through my mind as if being mimicked my a mockingbird, and I shook my head in bitter comprehension. No wonder Kougu had been so horrified by my words as I'd spoke them back on the way to my house that day. He knew. He knew all along that some day I'd be put in this situation. Yet it had never occurred to me that one day I wouldn't have the ability to run away? Not once? How could I have been so stupid?
My eyes trailed up to the dark figure which towered above me, but it seemed to hurt my head just to see the look on his face. It was as if he was enjoying it. It was so unlike him, I just... I couldn't accept it was who he was. I just...couldn't. “Say something” I muttered gruffly through my gritted teeth, trying to hold back the painful yelps that were lingering on the edge of my tongue. My blood loss was increasing rapidly now, and if I didn't get treated soon, I was likely to black out. In this position, with Kougu as he was, I knew my chances of living if that happened would become extremely slim. Kougu had to snap out of it, but it seemed I wasn't going to be the one able to help him. He was on his own on that one., which meant so was I.
So you can imagine how shocked I felt as Kougu gripped my shoulders, practically dragging me to my feet, which I'd almost forgotten I still had, since most of my body was in shut-down mode. Hence the fact it took me a minute or two of staggering the first couple of steps to get the strength and blood flow back into my leg muscles, yet even then I seemed to struggle. To be honest I felt rather stupid, since I had Kougu's vice grip supporting and keeping me upright, yet I still was in fear of falling whenever there was a slight bump in the ground, or if we went up or down slopes or pavement steps. I wasn't used to being so weak, and what troubled me most was that I had no idea why I was the way I was. Was it something to do with my awkward fall? My blood loss? Or was it all in my head? Somehow I didn't think so, since I knew more than anyone else my imagination was nowhere near that good. Still, it was worth trying out. I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and tried to force my trembling legs to move steadily across the stone slabs carefully placed in neat rows beside the roadside. It didn't work. With a quiet squeak, sometimes reminding some people like a little guinea-pig (Oh yeah, that's me xD), I shuffled forward, almost doubling over towards the hard ground. It was a good job Kougu had been there to support me, otherwise I would have definitely gone flying. “Left arm around my neck” Kougu instructed suddenly, and despite the edge to his voice, I knew it was a good idea. Seen as I was at risk of slipping and breaking something, and that would not go down well alongside a bullet wound. So I did as I was told, nodding obediently, and keeping my body close to his in order to keep my balance intact. Now I knew he could trust me., and I could trust him to stay sane around me, I was more comfortable staying within his personal space bubble. Plus, it made me feel so much better knowing I had a friend as close as he was to me that I could actually stand near, without having any fear of being ditched, or 'betrayed' as Kougu put it, and it satisfied me that I could finally trust for him to not try to kill me just for being anywhere near him. It meant I was getting somewhere, finally. “And if I attack you – try to break it” Kougu added, and although no words came from my mouth, there were three I was almost certain I nearly mumbled under my breath: Not very likely.
Besides, what was the point trying when I was in the state I was in? I couldn't walk, let alone run. My top half was splashed all over with droplets of dry, dirty maroon blood. 'Weakness' was planted all over my body, and there was not a single muscle in my body that seemed to be working properly, other than my heart, and even that seemed to be failing on me. Of course it was too bad, but all this staggering around was making me unusually done in. There was simply no way I would be able to fight back if he turned on me now.
I could see the house slowly approaching my vision, and I couldn't help but let a relieved sigh escape my abnormally pink lips – which were becoming paler and paler the more blood was pumped around my body, although I hadn't noticed that yet. But I couldn't help but feel glad we had come back safe and unscathed... Well, scathed, very scathed. In my view, anyway. But we were safe, and away from those... those freaks. Of course, I had a nice big hole in my right shoulder, but at least I was in good hands now. And long behold, no yelling, and no arguments!
But I couldn't celebrate just yet, we hadn't even got through the door. In fact, we seemed to be slowing down, I noticed with a twitch of a frown. Then I realised, Kougu hadn't said a single word since we actually got going. My head slowly turned to him, although I couldn't help but wince slightly at the sudden stiffness I was feeling all down my spine. Was he okay? Was he finally letting what he was doing sink in, and actually freaking out over having me so close? I hoped not, as now was a really, really bad time. I was alone, we were outside, he had a gun, and I wasn't exactly in any position to fight back, or even flee. Besides, my mother was still back on the house. I would never leave her, even if she was abusive towards me at times. She was still my mother. As we slowly came onto the front step, I watched with surprised eyes as Kougu loudly and effectively kicked the door open – without walking into it first, I noticed. I tried towards the bathroom, clumsily walking into every object that sat in my path...including the table corner and a chair leg... but I could barely do anything about it, as even in the comfort of Kougu's well-kept home, I was still trembling. I couldn't help it, I was that weak, standing took more effort than it should have done. Quietly, I let Kougu lead me through the bathroom door and place me in a sitting position on the edge of the bathtub. Somewhere to sit... I thought with a happy sigh, hallelujah. Finally, my legs stopped trembling so, and I could let myself relax slightly at the thought that it was all going to be alright, that I was not going to feel any more unnecessary pain. But I was wrong.
As soon as Kougu's shaky voice began to echo quietly through the room I could almost sense something that told me instinctively that something was wrong. He started towards a small cabinet beside the sink, which I presume held all the pills and medicines that he needed for every occasion, every illness, and every time he needed them most. But just as his hand was about to raise to the small round, freshly polished handle, he stopped. What he was thinking about, I had no idea, but it had been as if he'd caught something from outside the room that had come to his attention. I hadn't heard anything, but it obviously had to be something to make him stop and turn the way he did. Slowly, very slowly, like time was purposefully moving in slow motion, like in a horror movie when a character had just heard a door creak in a supposedly empty house. The knowledge that something was going to happen, that at some time the monster was going to jump out of nowhere and skill someone, it was sickening. Everything went quiet. Deafeningly quiet. All that could be heard was Kougu's quiet breathing across the room, and my heart punching violently against my chest. “Kougu?” I asked in a shaken whisper, praying that he'd give me a sign, a single sign that would hint to me exactly what was wrong. I wanted to know what was wrong. Why had he gone so quiet all of a sudden? “Ko-”
CRASH! Before I could register what was going on, Kougu's fist rammed into the large mirror beside him, causing bits of mirrored glass to fly in a chaotic mess through the air and land scattered by my feet. I almost forgot to breathe. Kougu's face was hidden within the darkness of the shadows, which made it almost worse. Was it something I'd done? What on earth could have made him infuriated enough to smash a mirror with his bare hands? Did he know that was supposed to count as seven years bad luck? Huh, I doubted something as petty as that made any difference to him. I watched him, silent, with wide, terrified eyes. I didn't like this. This was not good. “Kougu?” I asked again, my voice suddenly squeaky and barely audible through the sudden fear that rushed through my veins. I'd not seen him this mad since... well, ever. At least, not towards me. I watched him cautiously as he stepped out of the shadows, revealing his damaged hand, the blood beads rolling down his palms and dripping off his fingertips. Then I saw his face.
Fear would have been an understatement. Even alarm didn't even seem to fit the emotion I felt at that moment, and my large, glassy eyes saw the chilling smirk plastered on his face that struck a whole new form of terror into my body... that even my abusive mother had been unable to achieve with her never-ending threats and daily beatings, yet one look from this guy and I was practically trembling, frozen to my spot in fear that a single move would be my last This wasn't the boy who took me in, who had helped me begin to rebuild my life from the wreck it had become... No, this was the boy who tried to kill the policeman on the street those couple of days earlier. This was the boy who would stop at nothing to cause bloodshed and death to the innocent whether it was necessary or not. Before I could stop myself, I rose to my feet, completely forgetting about how weak my legs were still from the fall, and slowly began to back away from him. I had several options here: 1) Run. Out of the house, out of the street, out of the neighbourhood. Just get away from him. But realistically that wasn't an option, as first of all he was blocking my way out anyway, I was definitely not leaving my mother alone to be slaughtered, and with a mix of his skills and my lack of ability to barely even move, he'd beat me to it anyway. So really, that wasn't even an option. Okay. Option 2) talk him out of it. It was definitely worth a try, since I obviously wasn't going anywhere. But it was as if I had been silenced. No matter how hard I tried nothing seemed to come out, other than a pathetic mouse-like squeak. I was hopeless at this. Option 3) Fight. Again, not an option. Even with wounds as bad as his, he was still stronger than me, and his hand-eye coordination was no doubt much better than mine. Hell, everyone's was better than mine. So really, in a word, I was stumped. With a slight gasp I felt something cold and round bang the back of my leg, and the next thing I knew I was falling towards the blurriness that was now the bathroom floor. I landed on my shoulder – the one without the bullet wound, thankfully – and inhaled a sharp breath through my tightly clenched teeth as I felt the small bade-like shapes of glass pierce my palms like needles, pain shooting all up my cold, goose-pimpled arms. Scrunching my eyes closed, I placed my right palm onto the tiled floor, only to let out a small yelp as I slipped back onto my elbow, lying helplessly beside the object that I later found I had to blame for my fall, the toilet seat.
You won't hurt me... the words sang back through my mind as if being mimicked my a mockingbird, and I shook my head in bitter comprehension. No wonder Kougu had been so horrified by my words as I'd spoke them back on the way to my house that day. He knew. He knew all along that some day I'd be put in this situation. Yet it had never occurred to me that one day I wouldn't have the ability to run away? Not once? How could I have been so stupid?
My eyes trailed up to the dark figure which towered above me, but it seemed to hurt my head just to see the look on his face. It was as if he was enjoying it. It was so unlike him, I just... I couldn't accept it was who he was. I just...couldn't. “Say something” I muttered gruffly through my gritted teeth, trying to hold back the painful yelps that were lingering on the edge of my tongue. My blood loss was increasing rapidly now, and if I didn't get treated soon, I was likely to black out. In this position, with Kougu as he was, I knew my chances of living if that happened would become extremely slim. Kougu had to snap out of it, but it seemed I wasn't going to be the one able to help him. He was on his own on that one., which meant so was I.
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:34 am
((I got carried away. :3 ))
Kougu continued to watch Charlie with a sinister enjoyment written across his pale features – which suddenly seemed near vampiric in the absence of his usual gentility. His midnight blue eyes seemed to darken almost to black beneath the darkness of his intentions, which for once could be seen clearly in every move he made. Every twitch, every blink, every thought; they all spelled one thing: Death. Murder, more specifically. He would take a life that day, and nothing would stand in his way. This thought excited him further still, and a demented chuckle issued from Kougu’s lips. It escalated to what could only be described as a delighted cackle as he noticed the fear in Charlie’s eyes, and next thing he knew his face was split into a wide, demonic grin. The way it showed his usually-hidden teeth made it seem feral and beastly, as though he was baring his fangs rather than showing his enjoyment – yet the fact that it was in fact the latter somehow made it all the worse. An animal bears its fangs when it feels threatened or frightened, to send a warning. This was well past a warning… This was a sport. It was like hunting. Like those fat old men with their fancy hats and field glasses who sit in the comfort of their air-conditioned jeeps and fire rifles at innocent animals, just to have a head to hang up on their wall. Though perhaps that comparison was less than accurate, for a rhinoceros or something of the sort still had the opportunity to defend itself. It could gore the jeep with its horns, trample it, destroy it completely… No, this was more like fishing. Ah, yes… His father had always been a fishing kind of man, so it made sense… His kindness had been the bait, and Charlie had taken it. She had trusted him, and no matter how many times he had jiggled the line and tried to deter her and shake off her trust, she had insisted. Then even he had given up, and he had sat patiently to bide his time until this happened… And he had known it was going to happen. Then Charlie had been shot, and he had been so concerned for her that he had forgotten one all important thing: His defenses. He had let his guard down, and when the anger had stabbed at his soul it had left him at his weakest – without even a chance to shout a warning before he was lost completely to the darkness within him that was not even his own. And when they had entered that bathroom, and the door had clicked innocently shut, Charlie had been hooked. And, just like any unfortunate victim to a fishing hook, she had felt that warning stab of pain – felt that she was trapped – and began to panic. But once hooked, it didn’t matter how much they flailed and fought. They could not unhook themselves. She had lost this battle already, and now all that was left for him to do was to come up with some sort of creative idea to make the most of this. He would feed off her screams, and he would take pleasure in watching her squirm… In watching her thrash helplessly in a pool of her own blood, staring up into the face of the boy she had thought was her friend. Then, as the shattered fragments of trust stabbed at her heart, he would slowly crush the life out of her, and in that one moment where he watched the light leave her eyes, he would feel complete. He would be happy, so happy, and feel truly alive in the bringing of death! Ah, how he longed for it! How he hungered… To bring justice to this world once more… This was what ‘goodness’ was about. It was about obliterating the filth that dirtied his father’s perfect world… His perfect world.
Ah, if only he had a fishing knife! The girl’s skin looked so soft… So delicate… It was almost too much. It was so tempting just to slash and rip it there and then, but he had to have patience… The longer he prolonged this, the more he toyed with her, the more he would enjoy it. Oh, but the perfect idea… It would be his greatest masterpiece… To gut her like a fish, perhaps debone her as well, and watch her empty, floppy shell flap uselessly. Perhaps he’d hang it somewhere for her mother to find. Yes, that thought appealed to him rather a lot… The woman deserved to suffer. She was scum, just like the rest of them. They all deserved to suffer. Yes, the world was his playground and those peons who walked its surface were nothing more than the tiny, fragile pieces in his game. He could shatter them as he saw fit, and why shouldn’t he? They were sinners. Filthy, unworthy sinners who ought to perish, check that, who would perish anyway when it came to judgement day. He was simply speeding up the process. Was that not his duty as a keeper of worldly peace and innocence? Yes, this was his duty. A duty that he would perform now.
He glanced up toward Charlie, and felt his grin widen – spreading a maddened, feral excitement into his dark eyes. She looked so pathetic, crumpled on the floor like that… Then she spoke, and Kougu could barely contain his ecstasy. Oh, she was making this such fun! She was co-operating perfectly – letting him poke and prod at her and play with her just a little more before he crushed her. “Say something?” He repeated, his voice sounding nothing like his own. Its pitch was higher, and it was maddeningly mirthful and excited, as opposed to his usual calm, quiet speech. His grin slowly subsided into a sadistic smirk then, and his entire aura seemed to change – his expression suddenly one of coldhearted pleasure rather than the boiling excitement of a moment before. “It is your fate to die here.” Kougu explained tonelessly, “You should be thanking me. With my assistance, you are going to contribute to the greater good.” (Yes, I read too much Harry Potter… *Hangs head in shame* I’ll come up with a line of my own eventually. ) he added callously, not even bothering to look at her as he examined his own pale hand, flexing his long fingers and admiring the mental image of seeing them covered in blood. Her blood. The same blood that was keeping the creature before him alive. He glanced back at her then, smiling pleasantly, only with a hard, icy expression in his dark eyes. With that said, he took a step toward her, reaching into his pocket as he did so. When his empty hand emerged, Kougu glanced down at it in obvious irritation. Where was his knife?! His gun? Was he actually unarmed?! Of all the ridiculous- No, now was not the time to complain… He was an artist of murder – the tool did not matter. Only it would have been so much messier with a knife… What a disappointment. Perhaps he could improvise…? Kougu glanced around then and, seeing the fragments of mirror littering the floor, felt a smile creep across his face again. This was going to be fun after all... Those dirty, jagged edges would surely be even more painful than a knife… Wake up.. What? What was that? He was sure- Wake up. There again… He had blacked out for a moment there… Wake up! Okay, enough, this was getting risky – he had played long enough. Kougu bent down and snatched at one of the sharpest pieces of mirror he could find, but as he reached for it, his fingers fumbled in unexpected clumsiness. WAKE UP! He swayed for a moment as he lost his balance – hovering somewhere on the brink of unconsciousness. Then he came to with a shake of his head, and mentally attempted to squash the rebellion he could feel building up like a thick stream of tension in the back of his mind. He snatched up the shard of mirror and gripped it tightly – not caring that the sharp edges cut into the soft skin of his palms. This wasn’t his pain… He couldn’t feel it anyway, so what did it matter? Clutching the mirror tighter until blood oozed and bubbled around the edges – Kougu stepped slowly toward Charlie, dragging his feet like a zombie with each step. Get a grip! He stumbled then, and released a soft growl of annoyance, shaking his head as he quickly covered the short distance between himself and the girl. Damn, he had wanted to have a chance to enjoy this! The boy was stronger than before…
A fierce snarl on his face, Kougu bent down and took a firm grip on Charlie’s throat, his fingers tightening like a vice until they bit into her skin. He could feel her pulse… He could feel the life radiating from her in the final moments before death… And knowing that he would have the opportunity to take that was just… GET A GRIP! His grip slackened, and Kougu overbalanced and fell backwards away from Charlie, smashing into the hard edge of the bathtub. For a moment, he felt the pain.
Yes! There it was, a grip on reality, and he was damn sure not going to relinquish it! Kougu snatched at the hazy sights and sounds around him, taking a firm grip in his mind and refusing to let go. But then it began slipping again. Kougu snatched desperately at the ropes of reality as they fluttered away from him, but before he knew it he was plunged back into the blackness. No… No…No! No, no, no, damn it!! He had to regain control… Quickly… What if he was already too late? Oh, Charlie, use the gun! Use the friggin’ gun, you fool! But what help were his thoughts, if he couldn’t express them? Once again he was helpless… Once again he was powerless to save his one and only friend, even though he was the one killing her! He had known… How could he have been so selfish to remain in her presence when he had known this would happen? Had he not already decided that she would probably never take the precautions he had encouraged her to take? As soon as he had realized that, he should have left. He had tried… But why hadn’t he? He knew damn well that one more betrayal would hurt her far less than, well, death! But if that was the case, why hadn’t he just ignored her tears and kept walking away? If he had done what he had known was right, rather than acting so pathetically selfishly, he could have spared her life. He had brought her nothing but hardship, and now he had most likely brought her death already… Maybe he should just stop trying to fight it, and hope that the control would last forever? But that was the cruelest part… He knew that it wouldn’t. He knew that soon it would end and leave him crouched over the mangled remains of the one person who meant anything to him. It would leave him with an unhealable hole in his heart just to join all those before it. Honestly, he was surprised the organ was still beating… It ached as though it was on its last legs. It had been doing that for years… Yet he knew it was all in his head. He knew it, yet he was powerless to change it. Powerless, helpless, pathetic, useless… How many times had he used those words now? Well, that was him. What was the point of him? The truth was there wasn’t one. Well, that was it. He would end it all – nothing was worth all this! Enough waiting and biding his time… It wasn’t worth it if people were going to get hurt! He would just have to forget his goal, and hope that somebody else would one day accomplish it for him.
Kougu staggered to his feet, cursing under his breath, then moved toward Charlie – suddenly seeming completely furious. Enough enjoyment – he would kill the filth now, and it would be over. At least then he wouldn’t need to endure any more interference! A low growl erupted in his throat at this thought, and Kougu plunged toward Charlie. He stabbed the shard of mirror toward her throat. Time seemed to slow down yet again as the sparkling, jagged edge descended toward the soft flesh of Charlie’s throat with such force that it was evident it would slice right through. Every second seemed to be punctuated by a heartbeat as the blade-like edge cried out for the blood it craved. Then, at the last moment, just when it seemed like it would strike, Kougu’s arm froze. With the weapon suspended less than an inch from Charlie'’ skin, Kougu’s fist clenched tighter, letting the mirror sink ever deeper into his hand, and began to shake violently. For a moment that seemed to last an eternity, Kougu’s shaking fist hovered there, then it suddenly darted back. Kougu moved his arm with such sheer speed and power that it was barely visible. It moved through the air like a beam of light, then collided forcefully with something soft and warm. The force of the punch sent the sharp shard of mirror sinking deep into Kougu’s side – embedding itself between his ribs. At the same moment, he fell backwards, actually leaving the ground for a moment. When he struck down again, Kougu’s head collided with the tiled floor, and his lips parted to emit a spray of blood. He remained still for a brief moment as his consciousness flickered, then he quickly pushed himself into an upright position.
He had done it… And in the nick of time! Charlie was alive, at least for now, and he could thank his lucky stars for that, if he even had any… But what now? Sure he had regained control, but not without initiating a complete massacre on his own body. Of course, that didn’t bother him much, since he was completely used to it… But what bothered him was what would come next. He didn’t know what to do… He couldn’t face Charlie after that. He just couldn’t bear to look at her face and… He couldn’t even tolerate the thought. The thought of the fear, the distrust, the hatred… It would break him, assuming he was not broken already – which he was. But if he was broken now, then after that he would be shattered into pieces. Besides, even if he could face Charlie, he wouldn’t want her to have to face him… He who had nearly been her murderer. Hell, he was no better than that scum Jimmy! In fact, he was a thousand times worse… Charlie should not even have to look at him after that – nor would she want to, and he didn’t blame her. But then what could he do? Apologize? Ha! What would be the point? It wouldn’t be sincere anyway. Sure, the regret would be sincere enough – WAY sincere enough – but he couldn’t promise never to do it again. Hell, he could snap again in the next five minutes for all he knew! No, there was nothing he could do… He had to get away… But she had been shot. If he just left her, she could die! Then again, if he stayed she could also die… And then she would die in fear, in pain, in suffering… Besides, he wouldn’t be able to treat her after this, and even if he could, she probably wouldn’t let him. If she had any sense at all, she would never let him anywhere near her after this… What difference did it make that he hadn’t meant to do it? That he was sorry? Really, REALLY sorry? It wouldn’t take back what he’d done. Just like he could never atone to those others who had fallen at his hands… And so brutally… As if death wasn’t bad enough, he had to make a sport out of it! Well… He could think until he bled to death and it wouldn’t help. First things first – he had to get out of here.
He sat thus for a moment, then raised his less-ruined hand and grasped the protruding edge of the mirror fragment embedded between his ribs. He took a tight grip on it, then pulled it free with a sharp tug. It fell from his hand and clattered innocently to the floor beside him – rivers of blood trickling over the smooth surface. Droplets of crimson were scattered around the tiles surrounding it, but Kougu didn’t even spare a glance for the mess of blood he was leaving behind. Quite frankly, if his father was angry, nothing could have made him happier. Kougu felt a flash of savage pleasure at the thoughts, but he quickly shook it aside. That wasn’t like him.. Panic flashed through Kougu then, obliterating the dreamlike calmness with which he had been moving. He clapped a hand over his wound – though it only added more blood, for it was bleeding so heavily itself – then he leaped to his feet. Kougu stumbled slightly as he dashed toward the door. He snatched at the door handle, but his palm was so slick with blood that it slipped off. Shaking in panic, he desperately tried the other one. He got a grip on the handle this time, but he was in such a state that he could barely remember how to open it. He shook it violently, but it simply jangled innocently at him, and the door refused to budge. “Come on…” Kougu muttered under his breath, his voice shaking. He could feel hot blood flowing over his ribs and soaking through his clothes, and the feeling just reminded him all the more of Charlie… What he had nearly done to her… What had already been done to her – and how he had failed to fix it as he had promised. Kougu rattled the doorknob again, but still the door refused to budge. It was then that he felt his determination begin to drain. His head fell forwards, and his forehead struck the door – but this time there was nothing comical about it. He leaned against it, still tugging helplessly on the doorknob. “Come on… Please…” He whispered shakily under his breath, giving it another futile shake. He couldn’t do this… He couldn’t do anything… Kougu’s grip slackened then, and his blood-soaked hand fell limply back to his side. His legs buckled, and Kougu slid slowly to the ground. His knees struck the tiled floor, and he found himself kneeling in front of the door, his shoulders slumped forward. He felt himself falling, and slowly raised a hand and rested it against the door, steadying himself, as shuddering breaths rattled through him and tremors wracked his body for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Kougu’s hand slid down the door then, leaving a thick trail of blood gleaming eerily in its wake – made semi-transparent by the shiny white surface beneath it. Kougu slumped helplessly then, letting his head flop forward to strike the door yet again. The pain felt good… It felt so damn good… He knew that he deserved it, and that knowledge seemed, just a little, to ease the guilt of what he had done. Kougu’s forehead struck the door again without him even realizing it had happened. It struck harder this time, and the pain sent bitter pleasure stabbing through him. He deserved this… He deserved it. Again, his head struck the hard wood, and a trickle of blood began oozing from the corner of his mouth now. Swiping it irritably away with a hand that left even more blood smeared on his face, Kougu let his head smash against the hard wood again, and this time a soft splintering sound accompanied the wave of dizziness that crashed over him as a small dent appeared in the door. The dizziness caused him to lose his balance, and Kougu fell back, closing his eyes and simply lying there. He had completely forgotten Charlie by this stage, and he was aware of nothing but the steady beating of his heart in his chest. Though it remained stubbornly strong, Kougu could feel the blood gushing from between his ribs and, though he knew it was impossible, he wished desperately that death would take him. Who was he kidding? He didn’t deserve the luxury of death. A bitter chuckle escaped his lips then, and Kougu slowly eased himself back into a sitting position, letting his eyes fall open. Yet somehow, even without the cover of his eyelids, his eyes still seemed to he closed. They were empty… Empty, dull, and devoid of all light. It was as though the soul had been sucked clean out of him, which was indeed how he felt. It had happened many a time before…
Memories ran through Kougu’s mind now – memories of those poor people who had fallen at his hands. A young girl, as beautiful and delicate as a baby bird. She smiled trustingly up at him, but before he could reach out and touch her face the image shattered. Then a woman, a woman whose kind, warm gaze seemed to melt away all sorrow in his heart. Then she, too, fell away and left him feeling cold and empty. A teenage boy, his only friend, and he vanished just as those before him had… Then there were the moving shadows of countless nameless, faceless people who had suffered because of him. Then Charlie… Charlie – lying crumpled on the bathroom floor. Charlie slowly falling as the bullet meant for him struck her shoulder… Charlie looking away from him in shame and disgust as Jimmy held her close. Charlie’s tear-filled eyes gazing after him when he had tried to leave. Her happiness when he had foolishly found the courage, that one time, to place a hand on her shoulder. Her lips fearlessly forming those fateful words: “You won’t hurt me.” And his own foolish words… “You dare not forge new relationships for fear of yet another betrayal. Every time you think you can trust somebody, they turn their back on you, and leave you all alone all over again.” Well… He had certainly betrayed her now, and now he was going to turn his back on her and leave her alone… All over again. As expected, he had been right, and he could not have been less pleased by this fact. Kougu felt his long fingers close around a fallen piece of mirror lying on the floor beside him as he finally glanced at Charlie – the memories running through his mind. They had been through so much… And after all that, he had failed her… And he had failed himself. Now he was not going to prolong it any longer. This was for the best. She was clever – she would make a plan about… Everything. All he knew was that she would be better off without him. The world would be better off without him. He had decided a long time ago… Now it was time to put that decision into action – and nothing would change his mind. His fingers tightened around the piece of mirror, and his hands began to tremble – struggling to keep a grip on the blood-slick surface. He glanced at Charlie for a moment, then he closed his hand around the sharp-edged shard and lifted it up, his gaze falling to the ground. His inky black hair fell down like a gleaming curtain to hide his face – for once not seeming quite as messy as usual, which somehow added to how utterly defeated Kougu looked at that moment. “I’m sorry.” He murmured softly – neither knowing nor caring if Charlie had heard him. With those words, he raised his pathetic weapon toward his throat. His trembling hand moved slowly as his conscience warred in his mind, but nothing his mind yelled at him could change his decision. It was over. He had had enough.
((Sorry for the errors - too lazy to proof read... ))
Kougu continued to watch Charlie with a sinister enjoyment written across his pale features – which suddenly seemed near vampiric in the absence of his usual gentility. His midnight blue eyes seemed to darken almost to black beneath the darkness of his intentions, which for once could be seen clearly in every move he made. Every twitch, every blink, every thought; they all spelled one thing: Death. Murder, more specifically. He would take a life that day, and nothing would stand in his way. This thought excited him further still, and a demented chuckle issued from Kougu’s lips. It escalated to what could only be described as a delighted cackle as he noticed the fear in Charlie’s eyes, and next thing he knew his face was split into a wide, demonic grin. The way it showed his usually-hidden teeth made it seem feral and beastly, as though he was baring his fangs rather than showing his enjoyment – yet the fact that it was in fact the latter somehow made it all the worse. An animal bears its fangs when it feels threatened or frightened, to send a warning. This was well past a warning… This was a sport. It was like hunting. Like those fat old men with their fancy hats and field glasses who sit in the comfort of their air-conditioned jeeps and fire rifles at innocent animals, just to have a head to hang up on their wall. Though perhaps that comparison was less than accurate, for a rhinoceros or something of the sort still had the opportunity to defend itself. It could gore the jeep with its horns, trample it, destroy it completely… No, this was more like fishing. Ah, yes… His father had always been a fishing kind of man, so it made sense… His kindness had been the bait, and Charlie had taken it. She had trusted him, and no matter how many times he had jiggled the line and tried to deter her and shake off her trust, she had insisted. Then even he had given up, and he had sat patiently to bide his time until this happened… And he had known it was going to happen. Then Charlie had been shot, and he had been so concerned for her that he had forgotten one all important thing: His defenses. He had let his guard down, and when the anger had stabbed at his soul it had left him at his weakest – without even a chance to shout a warning before he was lost completely to the darkness within him that was not even his own. And when they had entered that bathroom, and the door had clicked innocently shut, Charlie had been hooked. And, just like any unfortunate victim to a fishing hook, she had felt that warning stab of pain – felt that she was trapped – and began to panic. But once hooked, it didn’t matter how much they flailed and fought. They could not unhook themselves. She had lost this battle already, and now all that was left for him to do was to come up with some sort of creative idea to make the most of this. He would feed off her screams, and he would take pleasure in watching her squirm… In watching her thrash helplessly in a pool of her own blood, staring up into the face of the boy she had thought was her friend. Then, as the shattered fragments of trust stabbed at her heart, he would slowly crush the life out of her, and in that one moment where he watched the light leave her eyes, he would feel complete. He would be happy, so happy, and feel truly alive in the bringing of death! Ah, how he longed for it! How he hungered… To bring justice to this world once more… This was what ‘goodness’ was about. It was about obliterating the filth that dirtied his father’s perfect world… His perfect world.
Ah, if only he had a fishing knife! The girl’s skin looked so soft… So delicate… It was almost too much. It was so tempting just to slash and rip it there and then, but he had to have patience… The longer he prolonged this, the more he toyed with her, the more he would enjoy it. Oh, but the perfect idea… It would be his greatest masterpiece… To gut her like a fish, perhaps debone her as well, and watch her empty, floppy shell flap uselessly. Perhaps he’d hang it somewhere for her mother to find. Yes, that thought appealed to him rather a lot… The woman deserved to suffer. She was scum, just like the rest of them. They all deserved to suffer. Yes, the world was his playground and those peons who walked its surface were nothing more than the tiny, fragile pieces in his game. He could shatter them as he saw fit, and why shouldn’t he? They were sinners. Filthy, unworthy sinners who ought to perish, check that, who would perish anyway when it came to judgement day. He was simply speeding up the process. Was that not his duty as a keeper of worldly peace and innocence? Yes, this was his duty. A duty that he would perform now.
He glanced up toward Charlie, and felt his grin widen – spreading a maddened, feral excitement into his dark eyes. She looked so pathetic, crumpled on the floor like that… Then she spoke, and Kougu could barely contain his ecstasy. Oh, she was making this such fun! She was co-operating perfectly – letting him poke and prod at her and play with her just a little more before he crushed her. “Say something?” He repeated, his voice sounding nothing like his own. Its pitch was higher, and it was maddeningly mirthful and excited, as opposed to his usual calm, quiet speech. His grin slowly subsided into a sadistic smirk then, and his entire aura seemed to change – his expression suddenly one of coldhearted pleasure rather than the boiling excitement of a moment before. “It is your fate to die here.” Kougu explained tonelessly, “You should be thanking me. With my assistance, you are going to contribute to the greater good.” (Yes, I read too much Harry Potter… *Hangs head in shame* I’ll come up with a line of my own eventually.
) he added callously, not even bothering to look at her as he examined his own pale hand, flexing his long fingers and admiring the mental image of seeing them covered in blood. Her blood. The same blood that was keeping the creature before him alive. He glanced back at her then, smiling pleasantly, only with a hard, icy expression in his dark eyes. With that said, he took a step toward her, reaching into his pocket as he did so. When his empty hand emerged, Kougu glanced down at it in obvious irritation. Where was his knife?! His gun? Was he actually unarmed?! Of all the ridiculous- No, now was not the time to complain… He was an artist of murder – the tool did not matter. Only it would have been so much messier with a knife… What a disappointment. Perhaps he could improvise…? Kougu glanced around then and, seeing the fragments of mirror littering the floor, felt a smile creep across his face again. This was going to be fun after all... Those dirty, jagged edges would surely be even more painful than a knife… Wake up.. What? What was that? He was sure- Wake up. There again… He had blacked out for a moment there… Wake up! Okay, enough, this was getting risky – he had played long enough. Kougu bent down and snatched at one of the sharpest pieces of mirror he could find, but as he reached for it, his fingers fumbled in unexpected clumsiness. WAKE UP! He swayed for a moment as he lost his balance – hovering somewhere on the brink of unconsciousness. Then he came to with a shake of his head, and mentally attempted to squash the rebellion he could feel building up like a thick stream of tension in the back of his mind. He snatched up the shard of mirror and gripped it tightly – not caring that the sharp edges cut into the soft skin of his palms. This wasn’t his pain… He couldn’t feel it anyway, so what did it matter? Clutching the mirror tighter until blood oozed and bubbled around the edges – Kougu stepped slowly toward Charlie, dragging his feet like a zombie with each step. Get a grip! He stumbled then, and released a soft growl of annoyance, shaking his head as he quickly covered the short distance between himself and the girl. Damn, he had wanted to have a chance to enjoy this! The boy was stronger than before… A fierce snarl on his face, Kougu bent down and took a firm grip on Charlie’s throat, his fingers tightening like a vice until they bit into her skin. He could feel her pulse… He could feel the life radiating from her in the final moments before death… And knowing that he would have the opportunity to take that was just… GET A GRIP! His grip slackened, and Kougu overbalanced and fell backwards away from Charlie, smashing into the hard edge of the bathtub. For a moment, he felt the pain.
Yes! There it was, a grip on reality, and he was damn sure not going to relinquish it! Kougu snatched at the hazy sights and sounds around him, taking a firm grip in his mind and refusing to let go. But then it began slipping again. Kougu snatched desperately at the ropes of reality as they fluttered away from him, but before he knew it he was plunged back into the blackness. No… No…No! No, no, no, damn it!! He had to regain control… Quickly… What if he was already too late? Oh, Charlie, use the gun! Use the friggin’ gun, you fool! But what help were his thoughts, if he couldn’t express them? Once again he was helpless… Once again he was powerless to save his one and only friend, even though he was the one killing her! He had known… How could he have been so selfish to remain in her presence when he had known this would happen? Had he not already decided that she would probably never take the precautions he had encouraged her to take? As soon as he had realized that, he should have left. He had tried… But why hadn’t he? He knew damn well that one more betrayal would hurt her far less than, well, death! But if that was the case, why hadn’t he just ignored her tears and kept walking away? If he had done what he had known was right, rather than acting so pathetically selfishly, he could have spared her life. He had brought her nothing but hardship, and now he had most likely brought her death already… Maybe he should just stop trying to fight it, and hope that the control would last forever? But that was the cruelest part… He knew that it wouldn’t. He knew that soon it would end and leave him crouched over the mangled remains of the one person who meant anything to him. It would leave him with an unhealable hole in his heart just to join all those before it. Honestly, he was surprised the organ was still beating… It ached as though it was on its last legs. It had been doing that for years… Yet he knew it was all in his head. He knew it, yet he was powerless to change it. Powerless, helpless, pathetic, useless… How many times had he used those words now? Well, that was him. What was the point of him? The truth was there wasn’t one. Well, that was it. He would end it all – nothing was worth all this! Enough waiting and biding his time… It wasn’t worth it if people were going to get hurt! He would just have to forget his goal, and hope that somebody else would one day accomplish it for him.
Kougu staggered to his feet, cursing under his breath, then moved toward Charlie – suddenly seeming completely furious. Enough enjoyment – he would kill the filth now, and it would be over. At least then he wouldn’t need to endure any more interference! A low growl erupted in his throat at this thought, and Kougu plunged toward Charlie. He stabbed the shard of mirror toward her throat. Time seemed to slow down yet again as the sparkling, jagged edge descended toward the soft flesh of Charlie’s throat with such force that it was evident it would slice right through. Every second seemed to be punctuated by a heartbeat as the blade-like edge cried out for the blood it craved. Then, at the last moment, just when it seemed like it would strike, Kougu’s arm froze. With the weapon suspended less than an inch from Charlie'’ skin, Kougu’s fist clenched tighter, letting the mirror sink ever deeper into his hand, and began to shake violently. For a moment that seemed to last an eternity, Kougu’s shaking fist hovered there, then it suddenly darted back. Kougu moved his arm with such sheer speed and power that it was barely visible. It moved through the air like a beam of light, then collided forcefully with something soft and warm. The force of the punch sent the sharp shard of mirror sinking deep into Kougu’s side – embedding itself between his ribs. At the same moment, he fell backwards, actually leaving the ground for a moment. When he struck down again, Kougu’s head collided with the tiled floor, and his lips parted to emit a spray of blood. He remained still for a brief moment as his consciousness flickered, then he quickly pushed himself into an upright position.
He had done it… And in the nick of time! Charlie was alive, at least for now, and he could thank his lucky stars for that, if he even had any… But what now? Sure he had regained control, but not without initiating a complete massacre on his own body. Of course, that didn’t bother him much, since he was completely used to it… But what bothered him was what would come next. He didn’t know what to do… He couldn’t face Charlie after that. He just couldn’t bear to look at her face and… He couldn’t even tolerate the thought. The thought of the fear, the distrust, the hatred… It would break him, assuming he was not broken already – which he was. But if he was broken now, then after that he would be shattered into pieces. Besides, even if he could face Charlie, he wouldn’t want her to have to face him… He who had nearly been her murderer. Hell, he was no better than that scum Jimmy! In fact, he was a thousand times worse… Charlie should not even have to look at him after that – nor would she want to, and he didn’t blame her. But then what could he do? Apologize? Ha! What would be the point? It wouldn’t be sincere anyway. Sure, the regret would be sincere enough – WAY sincere enough – but he couldn’t promise never to do it again. Hell, he could snap again in the next five minutes for all he knew! No, there was nothing he could do… He had to get away… But she had been shot. If he just left her, she could die! Then again, if he stayed she could also die… And then she would die in fear, in pain, in suffering… Besides, he wouldn’t be able to treat her after this, and even if he could, she probably wouldn’t let him. If she had any sense at all, she would never let him anywhere near her after this… What difference did it make that he hadn’t meant to do it? That he was sorry? Really, REALLY sorry? It wouldn’t take back what he’d done. Just like he could never atone to those others who had fallen at his hands… And so brutally… As if death wasn’t bad enough, he had to make a sport out of it! Well… He could think until he bled to death and it wouldn’t help. First things first – he had to get out of here.
He sat thus for a moment, then raised his less-ruined hand and grasped the protruding edge of the mirror fragment embedded between his ribs. He took a tight grip on it, then pulled it free with a sharp tug. It fell from his hand and clattered innocently to the floor beside him – rivers of blood trickling over the smooth surface. Droplets of crimson were scattered around the tiles surrounding it, but Kougu didn’t even spare a glance for the mess of blood he was leaving behind. Quite frankly, if his father was angry, nothing could have made him happier. Kougu felt a flash of savage pleasure at the thoughts, but he quickly shook it aside. That wasn’t like him.. Panic flashed through Kougu then, obliterating the dreamlike calmness with which he had been moving. He clapped a hand over his wound – though it only added more blood, for it was bleeding so heavily itself – then he leaped to his feet. Kougu stumbled slightly as he dashed toward the door. He snatched at the door handle, but his palm was so slick with blood that it slipped off. Shaking in panic, he desperately tried the other one. He got a grip on the handle this time, but he was in such a state that he could barely remember how to open it. He shook it violently, but it simply jangled innocently at him, and the door refused to budge. “Come on…” Kougu muttered under his breath, his voice shaking. He could feel hot blood flowing over his ribs and soaking through his clothes, and the feeling just reminded him all the more of Charlie… What he had nearly done to her… What had already been done to her – and how he had failed to fix it as he had promised. Kougu rattled the doorknob again, but still the door refused to budge. It was then that he felt his determination begin to drain. His head fell forwards, and his forehead struck the door – but this time there was nothing comical about it. He leaned against it, still tugging helplessly on the doorknob. “Come on… Please…” He whispered shakily under his breath, giving it another futile shake. He couldn’t do this… He couldn’t do anything… Kougu’s grip slackened then, and his blood-soaked hand fell limply back to his side. His legs buckled, and Kougu slid slowly to the ground. His knees struck the tiled floor, and he found himself kneeling in front of the door, his shoulders slumped forward. He felt himself falling, and slowly raised a hand and rested it against the door, steadying himself, as shuddering breaths rattled through him and tremors wracked his body for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Kougu’s hand slid down the door then, leaving a thick trail of blood gleaming eerily in its wake – made semi-transparent by the shiny white surface beneath it. Kougu slumped helplessly then, letting his head flop forward to strike the door yet again. The pain felt good… It felt so damn good… He knew that he deserved it, and that knowledge seemed, just a little, to ease the guilt of what he had done. Kougu’s forehead struck the door again without him even realizing it had happened. It struck harder this time, and the pain sent bitter pleasure stabbing through him. He deserved this… He deserved it. Again, his head struck the hard wood, and a trickle of blood began oozing from the corner of his mouth now. Swiping it irritably away with a hand that left even more blood smeared on his face, Kougu let his head smash against the hard wood again, and this time a soft splintering sound accompanied the wave of dizziness that crashed over him as a small dent appeared in the door. The dizziness caused him to lose his balance, and Kougu fell back, closing his eyes and simply lying there. He had completely forgotten Charlie by this stage, and he was aware of nothing but the steady beating of his heart in his chest. Though it remained stubbornly strong, Kougu could feel the blood gushing from between his ribs and, though he knew it was impossible, he wished desperately that death would take him. Who was he kidding? He didn’t deserve the luxury of death. A bitter chuckle escaped his lips then, and Kougu slowly eased himself back into a sitting position, letting his eyes fall open. Yet somehow, even without the cover of his eyelids, his eyes still seemed to he closed. They were empty… Empty, dull, and devoid of all light. It was as though the soul had been sucked clean out of him, which was indeed how he felt. It had happened many a time before…
Memories ran through Kougu’s mind now – memories of those poor people who had fallen at his hands. A young girl, as beautiful and delicate as a baby bird. She smiled trustingly up at him, but before he could reach out and touch her face the image shattered. Then a woman, a woman whose kind, warm gaze seemed to melt away all sorrow in his heart. Then she, too, fell away and left him feeling cold and empty. A teenage boy, his only friend, and he vanished just as those before him had… Then there were the moving shadows of countless nameless, faceless people who had suffered because of him. Then Charlie… Charlie – lying crumpled on the bathroom floor. Charlie slowly falling as the bullet meant for him struck her shoulder… Charlie looking away from him in shame and disgust as Jimmy held her close. Charlie’s tear-filled eyes gazing after him when he had tried to leave. Her happiness when he had foolishly found the courage, that one time, to place a hand on her shoulder. Her lips fearlessly forming those fateful words: “You won’t hurt me.” And his own foolish words… “You dare not forge new relationships for fear of yet another betrayal. Every time you think you can trust somebody, they turn their back on you, and leave you all alone all over again.” Well… He had certainly betrayed her now, and now he was going to turn his back on her and leave her alone… All over again. As expected, he had been right, and he could not have been less pleased by this fact. Kougu felt his long fingers close around a fallen piece of mirror lying on the floor beside him as he finally glanced at Charlie – the memories running through his mind. They had been through so much… And after all that, he had failed her… And he had failed himself. Now he was not going to prolong it any longer. This was for the best. She was clever – she would make a plan about… Everything. All he knew was that she would be better off without him. The world would be better off without him. He had decided a long time ago… Now it was time to put that decision into action – and nothing would change his mind. His fingers tightened around the piece of mirror, and his hands began to tremble – struggling to keep a grip on the blood-slick surface. He glanced at Charlie for a moment, then he closed his hand around the sharp-edged shard and lifted it up, his gaze falling to the ground. His inky black hair fell down like a gleaming curtain to hide his face – for once not seeming quite as messy as usual, which somehow added to how utterly defeated Kougu looked at that moment. “I’m sorry.” He murmured softly – neither knowing nor caring if Charlie had heard him. With those words, he raised his pathetic weapon toward his throat. His trembling hand moved slowly as his conscience warred in his mind, but nothing his mind yelled at him could change his decision. It was over. He had had enough.
((Sorry for the errors - too lazy to proof read...
))Last edited by Polo the Weirdo on Thu Sep 30, 2010 4:22 am; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Corrections)
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Fri Oct 01, 2010 2:06 pm
I couldn't believe this.
You know in a movie thriller when the evil villain appears unexpectedly before a group of characters and just so happens to be in the form of one of the most-trusted? Perhaps not. Well, this was how it felt having Kougu so dangerously close to me, his face creased into an abominable smirk as he sneered down at me, watching me, laughing at me. This wasn't him. This was some monster of darkness obsessed with death that had taken over his body, transformed his mind, and caused him to turn on me. I felt so vulnerable, so defenseless... Yet I could do nothing about this. I could do nothing about him. What had I done wrong? Well, that was something I couldn't answer, as there was far too many answers that popped in my head. I'd done so many wrongs, hurt so many innocent people... Not to mention the amount of times I had broken the law. My whole life was drowning in sins, and the way I was looking, I wasn't going to float to shore any time soon. I tried to think back to the last time I'd ever even tried to show my mother even a speck of compassion, the last time I'd shown her how much I really cared.
Nothing.
Not once had I bothered since the accident, as I knew it was a waste of time trying. What was the point, when all along I was going to be beaten anyway? I was like the single window of a small, fragile old barn in the middle of nowhere. The wind is blowing, the sky is black with hate, lightning is flashing wildly among the hills, there is an enormous whirlwind heading my way, and it's sending a terrifying concoction of tree stumps and bricks towards me. Every time the lightning flashes, thunder roars and I become one step closer to having my body smashed to smithereens, one step closer to have my parts left to disappear into the storm, my future, my hopes and dreams... All shattered. That was what always crossed my mind every time I even thought of going anywhere near my mother with open arms. She was never going to forgive me. She was never going to accept me as her daughter ever again. I was her carer, I cared for her. It was never the other way round. Yet what was my payment? Abuse. Reminders of all I had ever done wrong, all the times I had let her down, all the times I had failed as her offspring. And after all that, this was what I got. I was going to die; young, bleeding and in pain, looking up into the eyes of my murderer. My best friend.
Some friend, huh? But really I could hardly talk. What had I done for him? I'd taken his home, I'd got him in trouble with the police, I'd cost him... Well, goodness knows how much I'd cost him just to get me pardoned, and that was by a single shop! I'd almost cost him his life with Jimmy and his little gang of piranha, and for what? Why had we even gone out in the first place? Oh yes, because Kougu wanted to answer my questions. That was helpful... I thought bitterly, tightly clenching my jaw as my head bowed just above the back of my bleeding hand. All this time I thought I knew him, I thought I had him all sussed out. Yet, look what happened? He was a stranger to me, after all. He'd warned me about him being able to snap, about losing his sanity just from being so close to someone. I'd seen what he could do. I'd seen it. But had I listened? Of course not! A wise person would have stayed away from him right at the start. A wise person would have walked away from him as soon as they saw what damage he was capable of achieving. But was I wise? Damn right I wasn't. Now I was going to pay for my idiocy, and for being blinded by my desperation for someone to care about me. Kougu had been the easiest option. And yet, now what was he going to do? To kill me, that's what.
“Say something?” Kougu's unnaturally bouncy tone rang through my roaring ear drums, and I swear I could hear the victory already hinting in his voice. He knew he'd won already, and he hadn't even laid a finger on me yet! “It is your fate to die here.” This made me laugh. But it wasn't a humorous one...oh no. This was a bitter, acrimonious snicker that caused me to shake my head in sarcastic humour, and for my eyes go glass over in the pain that seemed to be throbbing throughout my body, both outer and innate. But the pain wasn't my biggest worry, as there was going to be plenty more where that came from. My biggest worry was going to be when - and how - he was planning on killing me. “You should be thanking me. With my assistance, you are going to contribute to the greater good” With that my head shot up, my lips twisted into a horrified, contemptuous stare that I swear could have burned through ice. “Greater good?” I growled, my eyes narrowing in disbelief. What 'greater good'? “And what 'greater good' might that be, Kougu? A rubbish dump? Because no doubt that's where I'll end up in a couple days time. If not that, hidden somewhere on a roadside in the middle of nowhere. What greater good is there for the dead, hm? Go on, tell me. I'd love to know...” I trailed off, beginning to notice that he was swaying from side to side, almost like a drunkard that had appeared fresh out of a bar. He wasn't well, and this time, it wasn't just his head that was wrong. He looked like he was losing balance, as if he'd been hit so hard in the head he'd caused concussion or something. Hope sparkled in my stomach, and I sucked in my breath slowly, waiting for him to see sense... So at least he could realise what he was doing and how wrong it was. I took this chance now to attempt to at least get into a sit, and placed my palm flat out on the glass-ridden surface, forcing back the painful gasps that so threatened to escape my lips as I slowly pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. This was further than I'd managed earlier, therefore I was somewhat glad I'd accomplished this without falling back down again. I rolled my eyes. Going down was something I did so often, it was as if there was no other way around it. Up was a direction that didn't exist in my life anymore. I knew that,because I'd aimed so high for my future, I remember wanting to be an English teacher back at primary school. I planned on getting grade A's and B's on my exams, to go to college, work in a school for primary school children and teach them how to read and write. I shot towards the sky, yet I was stuck here, on the ground, waiting for the pain to approach me. I was helpless. Pointless. Pathetic. What was the point in aiming high if you know your dreams are never going to be answered? What was th-
My thoughts were drawn to a halt as a hand clasped my throat, forcing me to turn to look right into the eyes of my attacker, yet this time without having the luxury of air to breath. Clenching my teeth at the pain of Kougu's long, bony fingers tightening on my skin, I felt my eyes widen, as if they were about to pop right out of my head if he held me any tighter. Completely through instinct , I brought a hand to Kougu's cold, strong arm and hooked my fingers on where I could. I tried to beg, I tried to plead, I just wanted to say something, even if it were to be my last words. Besides, a person's last words were meant to be the most memorable, yes? Well, apparently not to Kougu. My eyelids scrunched closed, mostly simply to stop my eyeballs from popping completely out of their sockets. That would certainly be an unfortunate way to die. I clenched my teeth, flared my nostrils, and simply waited for him to suck the life out of me.
Moments passed, yet it seemed like hours until I felt the grip slowly slip from my neck. And (xD) before I knew it, I had fallen in a heap back onto the floor, gasping for breath. My throat felt swollen and incredibly sore, but for some insane reason It wasn't what was bothering me. Why hadn't he killed me? There... I had just been strangled by my best friend, who, may I add, let me go... yet what bothered me more was why he'd not killed me there and then? He was probably wanting me to suffer, no doubt. He'd made it up in his mind that I was going to pay for whatever damage I'd caused him, and that that was only the beginning of what was to come. Clutching my neck, my fingers traced the red marks around my throat where each of his long bony fingers had wrapped around my throat, and tightened so much they could have broke skin. Where did all his muscle come from? His figure seemed to willowy, just like it was skin and bone. But obviously there was more to him than I thought I knew, and it wasn't the first either. Oh, who was I kidding? I knew nothing about him. I didn't even know what his surname was! That is, if he even had a... Wait, what? What was I thinking about? Everyone had a surname. Everyone. Even Kougu. Well, there I had it. One of the most basic things about him, and I didn't even know anything about it! Great, just great.
There was a soft bang as I heard Kougu's head make contact with the bathtub, and I let out a sudden gasp in surprise. Had he just collapsed? Of all the times- But no, as soon as my vision sharpened, I rose my head to watch him slowly stagger to his feet, and at the moment it seemed like he'd calmed down, so I slowly dropped my head back to face the ground, letting the painful moans slip through my gritted teeth. Please tell me he's coming to help me... I begged silently. Please tell me he's snapped out of it...
Shuffling footsteps came slowly towards me, and I was practically praying that he was coming to help me up, that it was all over. I just wanted him to show me he'd seen reality, and that he was coming to help me to my feet. I'd seen enough of his murderous side that day already. Did I have to see any more? I already knew what he was capable of. I just wanted it to be over.
There was the light tingling as the shattered glass parts made contact with each other as he neared towards me, and it wasn't until I could see his shadow was cast upon me, when I could see the darkness that was my light, that I realised he wasn't done. My eyes trailed over the darkened silhouette on the blood-splattered floor when I noticed something he was holding in one of his hands. Something sharp, deadly sharp. I froze.
He hadn't been coming to help me up, was he? Of course not. I should have known it wouldn't be as simple as snapping out of a light trance. This was like telling someone to completely forget who they are and turn into someone else, which I could imagine wasn't easy. In fact, practically impossible. How could we possibly be able to forget who we are? After being a person all our lives? This wasn't going to happen in a matter of seconds, perhaps even minutes. Kougu would need a long time to revive himself. But how long could I wait? Better question, how long would I live? Before I could think any further on the subject, I felt the presence of the blade as it neared towards my throat, almost touching distance when it stopped. Everything went quiet. My breathing stopped, I was frozen to my spot, my eyes still glued to the darkened patch of tiles below me where Kougu's shadow still lingered in a still motion, like someone had pressed pause on a videotape. I was milliseconds from death, yet I was still alive. But I couldn't move, even if I wanted to. I couldn't even look into the eyes of my killer in fear that each move would be my last. Every beat of my heart hammered like a bass drum throughout the room, above us the light of the lamp flickered slightly as it's bulb inched closer and closer to the end of it's usable life. Just like me, I thought bitterly. What use was I going to be after this? I was like an ornament, sitting on a window sill, gathering dust and looking out at the shining sun on the other side of the window. The light had sucked beautiful colours from my varnished surface, and now I'd been knocked off onto the hard, frigid ground. I had once served a purpose, to create a positive performance for those around me. Yet now I had been overused, scratched, dropped and...of course...I had a nice big hole in me. I was now no more use than a dead dog. And I was alive. But of course, I wouldn't be for long. But wait, why hadn't he stabbed me yet? Slit my throat? He was still frozen in his spot, but I soon noticed that the blade of glass was no longer hovering over my skin. It was retreating from it's target that was my small, vulnerable throat, and was shooting back towards Kougu's body at lightning speed . Before I could even inhale a breath, the blade had pierced Kougu's side, and he crumpled to the floor, his head smacking the hard tiles with a thump and blood splattering from his mouth. What had he done? Aghast, I pushed my front up in order to turn my head to face him, and for a second I thought he was dead. That blow to his head had been dangerously noxious, not to mention the wound to his side. Who survived something that fatal?
Slowly, very slowly, Kougu pushed himself up to a slumped sitting position, bringing his hand to the blade in his body and yanking it out of it's hole, leaving a sickening puncture wound in his side that I could seen blood so thick it seemed almost black as it leaked out of the slit in his jacket. He was loosing too much blood, even more than I was. Hello! Couldn't he see it? He didn't even seem to notice as he leapt to his feet and bolted for the door. Now I was beginning to recover from my lack of air those few moments ago, and I had managed to push myself up onto my hands and knees, shakily of course, but it was better than nothing. I had to do something about my wounds, Before I blacked out for good. I shuffled weakly to the toilet seat and used it to attempt to hoist myself to my feet, but not before I heard the door rattle behind me. My head snapped up. Was that my mother wanting to know what all the racket was about? Had she finally noticed that we'd come through the door? Taken her long enough, I thought bitterly, examining my wounds. I as in the midst of losing consciousness, losing blood, not to mention the fact I'd been shot the last time she'd seen me. But of course, what would she do if she saw me now, eh? Complain. Complain about the racket, the mess, the worry that she'd have to be the one cleaning it all up – not that she'd ever done any cleaning for at least three years, maybe four. So what was it her business what was going on here? Even if it was her own daughter that was bleeding to death?
BANG What was that, I thought with a frown. It sounded like it came from the door. But as I looked back towards it, all I saw was Kougu gripping the door handle and leaning in towards it, slumping his shoulders in slight submission. He was still, and there wasn't anything I could see expression wise, so I couldn't be sure what he was thinking at that moment. Had I imagined it? BANG. No, there it was again. What was that? Bang...thump thump...BANG The last of the sounds ended with a quiet cracking noise as the splinters of paint arose from their perfectly laid surface. I was right, it was the door. It was definitely the door. But where had the thumping come from? My thin brown eyebrows knitted together in confusion as Kougu slid to the ground, defeat written all over his face. Instinct told me he had now revived back to his old self, but he was still unrecognisable behind all the blood, and all the hurt and surrender that covered his pale, wounded face. He wasn't the Kougu I knew, even if he had changed back from the murdering psycho he had been just a few minutes before. I could tell he regretted it dearly, so much so that he couldn't even look me in the eye. But I felt for him, and for some twisted...insane reason, I couldn't bring myself to blame him for what he'd done. Despite the fact he'd tried to kill me...twice... Of course, I wasn't going to get too close too soon just yet, I wasn't that stupid. But I wasn't going to put all the blame on him; he hadn't been able to help himself. Besides, he'd warned me so many times beforehand. It was my fault I hadn't listened to him. I should have been an intelligent human being and used my head before inviting myself into someone else's company without being totally aware of what I was letting myself in for. That's right. It was my fault.
“I'm sorry” It was funny, it was as if that was Kougu's voice. Hang on a minute... My eyes widened as my head snapped to the side, and they flicked to the display by the door. I saw the sharp point aiming at Kougu's throat, the blood dripping down the bloody slit on his fingers where he'd clasped the glass so tightly it had dug through his skin. I saw the look on his face, and it was then I had to make a choice.
My father's friend was a lawyer, and one of his clients was caught in a Chinese airport smuggling in supposedly illegal drugs from his home country. The problem was, he had extreme sleep disorder and was visiting some friends in North Korea and had to get there via Beijing Airport, but the drugs were what a few of his street friends had given him, although he didn't know where they had officially come from. He was arrested, and was put on trial for his crime. If he had been found guilty, he would possibly have been at risk of execution, but my father's friend wouldn't let that happen. He stayed up night and day to find a way to prove this man innocent, to try and encourage the Chinese authorities to let the man be trailed back in his home where he would be sent to prison if found guilty, but would not have his life taken from him. The trial went on for months, but eventually he lost the battle. Still, it didn't seem to stop him from from continuing to fight for the lives of more and more of his clients from those types of countries, even when his chances of winning were next to zero.
I asked my father why he continued working so hard when he knew he was fighting a losing battle. His words were simply: “Jack believed that watching a man die without doing something to stop it, was almost as bad as killing one yourself.” And those words staid with me until that moment, when I fully understood their true meaning. Watching Kougu commit suicide without acting upon it, after everything we'd been through together, it was almost as mad as holding the blade to his throat myself.
I scrambled forward, forgetting completely about the glass that was still scattered all over the tiled flooring. My eyes were set on Kougu and the glass closing towards his neck, and I knew I had to do something. I could not let him throw his life away now, not after everything that had happened. Even if my life was at risk because of his actions, he was my best friend. Before him I had no one. I was empty. Abandoned. Alone. And (xD) I was not going to let him force all that back upon me. I couldn't go back to my old life after this, I just couldn't. As I arrived by his side, My hand shakily rose from the ground to the blade, and I gently rested my fingers on the mirrored glass, my fingertips skimming his skin in the process. “Kougu...” I murmured croakily, shuffling to a stop beside him. I cleared my throat awkwardly, and decided to start again. “Kougu, you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised.” I know it sounded pathetic, but I couldn't help but say how I felt. I knew one wrong word and Kougu would probably kill himself anyway, but of course, at least I was trying. And I was going to succeed, whether he liked it or not. “I can't let you give your life up like this. D'you really think it'll help anything?” I stopped thoughtfully, suddenly realising what might have been his own thoughts in the matter. Of course it would help him, it was exactly why he was doing it. It would end his suffering, but what about my suffering? Didn't he think about me before he brought that blade to his neck? Okay, I had to correct myself before I gave him any more ideas. “Whatever it is that's hurting you, I can help. If it's your mental stability, I'm sure there are tablets and medicines for it somewhere in the world. If it's your head, there are pain killers, you have some, don't you? The basket over there under the sink. You have everything you could find in a public pharmacy. Whatever it is, I can help you... Please let me help.” I was almost begging by now and I knew it, but it was incidental. If he realised how much I needed him, he'd put it down. If he really cared about me, he'd put it down. He had to. My glassy eyes flicked back to the blade in both out hands, and I sucked in a breath, running my fingers over the smooth, blood-soaked surface. It was almost hard to believe this piece of mirror had been hanging proudly on the bathroom wall just ten or fifteen minutes ago. “Give it to me” I whispered softly without a hint of sternness to my tone. Hopefully I wouldn't need it. But that all depended on how willing he was to live. That was one thing I couldn't change, not matter how much I wished I could. What happened next was going to be up to him.
((I apologize if it's rubbish. I'm too lazy to read through it again))
You know in a movie thriller when the evil villain appears unexpectedly before a group of characters and just so happens to be in the form of one of the most-trusted? Perhaps not. Well, this was how it felt having Kougu so dangerously close to me, his face creased into an abominable smirk as he sneered down at me, watching me, laughing at me. This wasn't him. This was some monster of darkness obsessed with death that had taken over his body, transformed his mind, and caused him to turn on me. I felt so vulnerable, so defenseless... Yet I could do nothing about this. I could do nothing about him. What had I done wrong? Well, that was something I couldn't answer, as there was far too many answers that popped in my head. I'd done so many wrongs, hurt so many innocent people... Not to mention the amount of times I had broken the law. My whole life was drowning in sins, and the way I was looking, I wasn't going to float to shore any time soon. I tried to think back to the last time I'd ever even tried to show my mother even a speck of compassion, the last time I'd shown her how much I really cared.
Nothing.
Not once had I bothered since the accident, as I knew it was a waste of time trying. What was the point, when all along I was going to be beaten anyway? I was like the single window of a small, fragile old barn in the middle of nowhere. The wind is blowing, the sky is black with hate, lightning is flashing wildly among the hills, there is an enormous whirlwind heading my way, and it's sending a terrifying concoction of tree stumps and bricks towards me. Every time the lightning flashes, thunder roars and I become one step closer to having my body smashed to smithereens, one step closer to have my parts left to disappear into the storm, my future, my hopes and dreams... All shattered. That was what always crossed my mind every time I even thought of going anywhere near my mother with open arms. She was never going to forgive me. She was never going to accept me as her daughter ever again. I was her carer, I cared for her. It was never the other way round. Yet what was my payment? Abuse. Reminders of all I had ever done wrong, all the times I had let her down, all the times I had failed as her offspring. And after all that, this was what I got. I was going to die; young, bleeding and in pain, looking up into the eyes of my murderer. My best friend.
Some friend, huh? But really I could hardly talk. What had I done for him? I'd taken his home, I'd got him in trouble with the police, I'd cost him... Well, goodness knows how much I'd cost him just to get me pardoned, and that was by a single shop! I'd almost cost him his life with Jimmy and his little gang of piranha, and for what? Why had we even gone out in the first place? Oh yes, because Kougu wanted to answer my questions. That was helpful... I thought bitterly, tightly clenching my jaw as my head bowed just above the back of my bleeding hand. All this time I thought I knew him, I thought I had him all sussed out. Yet, look what happened? He was a stranger to me, after all. He'd warned me about him being able to snap, about losing his sanity just from being so close to someone. I'd seen what he could do. I'd seen it. But had I listened? Of course not! A wise person would have stayed away from him right at the start. A wise person would have walked away from him as soon as they saw what damage he was capable of achieving. But was I wise? Damn right I wasn't. Now I was going to pay for my idiocy, and for being blinded by my desperation for someone to care about me. Kougu had been the easiest option. And yet, now what was he going to do? To kill me, that's what.
“Say something?” Kougu's unnaturally bouncy tone rang through my roaring ear drums, and I swear I could hear the victory already hinting in his voice. He knew he'd won already, and he hadn't even laid a finger on me yet! “It is your fate to die here.” This made me laugh. But it wasn't a humorous one...oh no. This was a bitter, acrimonious snicker that caused me to shake my head in sarcastic humour, and for my eyes go glass over in the pain that seemed to be throbbing throughout my body, both outer and innate. But the pain wasn't my biggest worry, as there was going to be plenty more where that came from. My biggest worry was going to be when - and how - he was planning on killing me. “You should be thanking me. With my assistance, you are going to contribute to the greater good” With that my head shot up, my lips twisted into a horrified, contemptuous stare that I swear could have burned through ice. “Greater good?” I growled, my eyes narrowing in disbelief. What 'greater good'? “And what 'greater good' might that be, Kougu? A rubbish dump? Because no doubt that's where I'll end up in a couple days time. If not that, hidden somewhere on a roadside in the middle of nowhere. What greater good is there for the dead, hm? Go on, tell me. I'd love to know...” I trailed off, beginning to notice that he was swaying from side to side, almost like a drunkard that had appeared fresh out of a bar. He wasn't well, and this time, it wasn't just his head that was wrong. He looked like he was losing balance, as if he'd been hit so hard in the head he'd caused concussion or something. Hope sparkled in my stomach, and I sucked in my breath slowly, waiting for him to see sense... So at least he could realise what he was doing and how wrong it was. I took this chance now to attempt to at least get into a sit, and placed my palm flat out on the glass-ridden surface, forcing back the painful gasps that so threatened to escape my lips as I slowly pushed myself up onto my hands and knees. This was further than I'd managed earlier, therefore I was somewhat glad I'd accomplished this without falling back down again. I rolled my eyes. Going down was something I did so often, it was as if there was no other way around it. Up was a direction that didn't exist in my life anymore. I knew that,because I'd aimed so high for my future, I remember wanting to be an English teacher back at primary school. I planned on getting grade A's and B's on my exams, to go to college, work in a school for primary school children and teach them how to read and write. I shot towards the sky, yet I was stuck here, on the ground, waiting for the pain to approach me. I was helpless. Pointless. Pathetic. What was the point in aiming high if you know your dreams are never going to be answered? What was th-
My thoughts were drawn to a halt as a hand clasped my throat, forcing me to turn to look right into the eyes of my attacker, yet this time without having the luxury of air to breath. Clenching my teeth at the pain of Kougu's long, bony fingers tightening on my skin, I felt my eyes widen, as if they were about to pop right out of my head if he held me any tighter. Completely through instinct , I brought a hand to Kougu's cold, strong arm and hooked my fingers on where I could. I tried to beg, I tried to plead, I just wanted to say something, even if it were to be my last words. Besides, a person's last words were meant to be the most memorable, yes? Well, apparently not to Kougu. My eyelids scrunched closed, mostly simply to stop my eyeballs from popping completely out of their sockets. That would certainly be an unfortunate way to die. I clenched my teeth, flared my nostrils, and simply waited for him to suck the life out of me.
Moments passed, yet it seemed like hours until I felt the grip slowly slip from my neck. And (xD) before I knew it, I had fallen in a heap back onto the floor, gasping for breath. My throat felt swollen and incredibly sore, but for some insane reason It wasn't what was bothering me. Why hadn't he killed me? There... I had just been strangled by my best friend, who, may I add, let me go... yet what bothered me more was why he'd not killed me there and then? He was probably wanting me to suffer, no doubt. He'd made it up in his mind that I was going to pay for whatever damage I'd caused him, and that that was only the beginning of what was to come. Clutching my neck, my fingers traced the red marks around my throat where each of his long bony fingers had wrapped around my throat, and tightened so much they could have broke skin. Where did all his muscle come from? His figure seemed to willowy, just like it was skin and bone. But obviously there was more to him than I thought I knew, and it wasn't the first either. Oh, who was I kidding? I knew nothing about him. I didn't even know what his surname was! That is, if he even had a... Wait, what? What was I thinking about? Everyone had a surname. Everyone. Even Kougu. Well, there I had it. One of the most basic things about him, and I didn't even know anything about it! Great, just great.
There was a soft bang as I heard Kougu's head make contact with the bathtub, and I let out a sudden gasp in surprise. Had he just collapsed? Of all the times- But no, as soon as my vision sharpened, I rose my head to watch him slowly stagger to his feet, and at the moment it seemed like he'd calmed down, so I slowly dropped my head back to face the ground, letting the painful moans slip through my gritted teeth. Please tell me he's coming to help me... I begged silently. Please tell me he's snapped out of it...
Shuffling footsteps came slowly towards me, and I was practically praying that he was coming to help me up, that it was all over. I just wanted him to show me he'd seen reality, and that he was coming to help me to my feet. I'd seen enough of his murderous side that day already. Did I have to see any more? I already knew what he was capable of. I just wanted it to be over.
There was the light tingling as the shattered glass parts made contact with each other as he neared towards me, and it wasn't until I could see his shadow was cast upon me, when I could see the darkness that was my light, that I realised he wasn't done. My eyes trailed over the darkened silhouette on the blood-splattered floor when I noticed something he was holding in one of his hands. Something sharp, deadly sharp. I froze.
He hadn't been coming to help me up, was he? Of course not. I should have known it wouldn't be as simple as snapping out of a light trance. This was like telling someone to completely forget who they are and turn into someone else, which I could imagine wasn't easy. In fact, practically impossible. How could we possibly be able to forget who we are? After being a person all our lives? This wasn't going to happen in a matter of seconds, perhaps even minutes. Kougu would need a long time to revive himself. But how long could I wait? Better question, how long would I live? Before I could think any further on the subject, I felt the presence of the blade as it neared towards my throat, almost touching distance when it stopped. Everything went quiet. My breathing stopped, I was frozen to my spot, my eyes still glued to the darkened patch of tiles below me where Kougu's shadow still lingered in a still motion, like someone had pressed pause on a videotape. I was milliseconds from death, yet I was still alive. But I couldn't move, even if I wanted to. I couldn't even look into the eyes of my killer in fear that each move would be my last. Every beat of my heart hammered like a bass drum throughout the room, above us the light of the lamp flickered slightly as it's bulb inched closer and closer to the end of it's usable life. Just like me, I thought bitterly. What use was I going to be after this? I was like an ornament, sitting on a window sill, gathering dust and looking out at the shining sun on the other side of the window. The light had sucked beautiful colours from my varnished surface, and now I'd been knocked off onto the hard, frigid ground. I had once served a purpose, to create a positive performance for those around me. Yet now I had been overused, scratched, dropped and...of course...I had a nice big hole in me. I was now no more use than a dead dog. And I was alive. But of course, I wouldn't be for long. But wait, why hadn't he stabbed me yet? Slit my throat? He was still frozen in his spot, but I soon noticed that the blade of glass was no longer hovering over my skin. It was retreating from it's target that was my small, vulnerable throat, and was shooting back towards Kougu's body at lightning speed . Before I could even inhale a breath, the blade had pierced Kougu's side, and he crumpled to the floor, his head smacking the hard tiles with a thump and blood splattering from his mouth. What had he done? Aghast, I pushed my front up in order to turn my head to face him, and for a second I thought he was dead. That blow to his head had been dangerously noxious, not to mention the wound to his side. Who survived something that fatal?
Slowly, very slowly, Kougu pushed himself up to a slumped sitting position, bringing his hand to the blade in his body and yanking it out of it's hole, leaving a sickening puncture wound in his side that I could seen blood so thick it seemed almost black as it leaked out of the slit in his jacket. He was loosing too much blood, even more than I was. Hello! Couldn't he see it? He didn't even seem to notice as he leapt to his feet and bolted for the door. Now I was beginning to recover from my lack of air those few moments ago, and I had managed to push myself up onto my hands and knees, shakily of course, but it was better than nothing. I had to do something about my wounds, Before I blacked out for good. I shuffled weakly to the toilet seat and used it to attempt to hoist myself to my feet, but not before I heard the door rattle behind me. My head snapped up. Was that my mother wanting to know what all the racket was about? Had she finally noticed that we'd come through the door? Taken her long enough, I thought bitterly, examining my wounds. I as in the midst of losing consciousness, losing blood, not to mention the fact I'd been shot the last time she'd seen me. But of course, what would she do if she saw me now, eh? Complain. Complain about the racket, the mess, the worry that she'd have to be the one cleaning it all up – not that she'd ever done any cleaning for at least three years, maybe four. So what was it her business what was going on here? Even if it was her own daughter that was bleeding to death?
BANG What was that, I thought with a frown. It sounded like it came from the door. But as I looked back towards it, all I saw was Kougu gripping the door handle and leaning in towards it, slumping his shoulders in slight submission. He was still, and there wasn't anything I could see expression wise, so I couldn't be sure what he was thinking at that moment. Had I imagined it? BANG. No, there it was again. What was that? Bang...thump thump...BANG The last of the sounds ended with a quiet cracking noise as the splinters of paint arose from their perfectly laid surface. I was right, it was the door. It was definitely the door. But where had the thumping come from? My thin brown eyebrows knitted together in confusion as Kougu slid to the ground, defeat written all over his face. Instinct told me he had now revived back to his old self, but he was still unrecognisable behind all the blood, and all the hurt and surrender that covered his pale, wounded face. He wasn't the Kougu I knew, even if he had changed back from the murdering psycho he had been just a few minutes before. I could tell he regretted it dearly, so much so that he couldn't even look me in the eye. But I felt for him, and for some twisted...insane reason, I couldn't bring myself to blame him for what he'd done. Despite the fact he'd tried to kill me...twice... Of course, I wasn't going to get too close too soon just yet, I wasn't that stupid. But I wasn't going to put all the blame on him; he hadn't been able to help himself. Besides, he'd warned me so many times beforehand. It was my fault I hadn't listened to him. I should have been an intelligent human being and used my head before inviting myself into someone else's company without being totally aware of what I was letting myself in for. That's right. It was my fault.
“I'm sorry” It was funny, it was as if that was Kougu's voice. Hang on a minute... My eyes widened as my head snapped to the side, and they flicked to the display by the door. I saw the sharp point aiming at Kougu's throat, the blood dripping down the bloody slit on his fingers where he'd clasped the glass so tightly it had dug through his skin. I saw the look on his face, and it was then I had to make a choice.
My father's friend was a lawyer, and one of his clients was caught in a Chinese airport smuggling in supposedly illegal drugs from his home country. The problem was, he had extreme sleep disorder and was visiting some friends in North Korea and had to get there via Beijing Airport, but the drugs were what a few of his street friends had given him, although he didn't know where they had officially come from. He was arrested, and was put on trial for his crime. If he had been found guilty, he would possibly have been at risk of execution, but my father's friend wouldn't let that happen. He stayed up night and day to find a way to prove this man innocent, to try and encourage the Chinese authorities to let the man be trailed back in his home where he would be sent to prison if found guilty, but would not have his life taken from him. The trial went on for months, but eventually he lost the battle. Still, it didn't seem to stop him from from continuing to fight for the lives of more and more of his clients from those types of countries, even when his chances of winning were next to zero.
I asked my father why he continued working so hard when he knew he was fighting a losing battle. His words were simply: “Jack believed that watching a man die without doing something to stop it, was almost as bad as killing one yourself.” And those words staid with me until that moment, when I fully understood their true meaning. Watching Kougu commit suicide without acting upon it, after everything we'd been through together, it was almost as mad as holding the blade to his throat myself.
I scrambled forward, forgetting completely about the glass that was still scattered all over the tiled flooring. My eyes were set on Kougu and the glass closing towards his neck, and I knew I had to do something. I could not let him throw his life away now, not after everything that had happened. Even if my life was at risk because of his actions, he was my best friend. Before him I had no one. I was empty. Abandoned. Alone. And (xD) I was not going to let him force all that back upon me. I couldn't go back to my old life after this, I just couldn't. As I arrived by his side, My hand shakily rose from the ground to the blade, and I gently rested my fingers on the mirrored glass, my fingertips skimming his skin in the process. “Kougu...” I murmured croakily, shuffling to a stop beside him. I cleared my throat awkwardly, and decided to start again. “Kougu, you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised.” I know it sounded pathetic, but I couldn't help but say how I felt. I knew one wrong word and Kougu would probably kill himself anyway, but of course, at least I was trying. And I was going to succeed, whether he liked it or not. “I can't let you give your life up like this. D'you really think it'll help anything?” I stopped thoughtfully, suddenly realising what might have been his own thoughts in the matter. Of course it would help him, it was exactly why he was doing it. It would end his suffering, but what about my suffering? Didn't he think about me before he brought that blade to his neck? Okay, I had to correct myself before I gave him any more ideas. “Whatever it is that's hurting you, I can help. If it's your mental stability, I'm sure there are tablets and medicines for it somewhere in the world. If it's your head, there are pain killers, you have some, don't you? The basket over there under the sink. You have everything you could find in a public pharmacy. Whatever it is, I can help you... Please let me help.” I was almost begging by now and I knew it, but it was incidental. If he realised how much I needed him, he'd put it down. If he really cared about me, he'd put it down. He had to. My glassy eyes flicked back to the blade in both out hands, and I sucked in a breath, running my fingers over the smooth, blood-soaked surface. It was almost hard to believe this piece of mirror had been hanging proudly on the bathroom wall just ten or fifteen minutes ago. “Give it to me” I whispered softly without a hint of sternness to my tone. Hopefully I wouldn't need it. But that all depended on how willing he was to live. That was one thing I couldn't change, not matter how much I wished I could. What happened next was going to be up to him.
((I apologize if it's rubbish. I'm too lazy to read through it again
))
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Sat Oct 02, 2010 1:26 pm
The blade pressed into Kougu’s skin, his trembling fingers gripping it tightly, but just as it was about to slice through the soft flesh of his neck, Kougu became vaguely aware of movement from the other end of the room. His hand froze, yet remained where it was – the sharp point of the mirror fragment pressing so hard against his throat that his skin yielded to it and seemed to cringe away – forming a deep indentation – like a shadowy dark hole in his pale flesh – yet the skin was not yet broken. Kougu’s breath caught in his throat as the shuffling, muffled footsteps moved toward him, accompanied by the soft, innocent tinkling of mirror glass. His eyes slid out of focus as he stared at the tiled floor and his breathing resumed – ragged and unsteady. His heart was thumping desperately against his ribs, as though trying to escape the body he was about to cast aside, but there was nothing Kougu could do to steady it. It pounded like a drumset under the onslaught of an over energetic toddler, and Kougu soon found himself deafened by it – hearing nothing but the roar of blood in his ears. His arm was frozen as though it was chained in place and, no matter how desperately he wanted to, he could not sink that blade into his skin. The hot blood that coursed down his arm like a crimson waterfall was not from his throat, but from his hand. Charlie was moving toward him… He- He didn’t now why… Didn’t know how… But he somehow felt he needed to wait for her. No- that was ridiculous! He had to kill himself so he wouldn’t have to face her, so shouldn’t her approach be motivation to just slash himself open and get it over with? Yes – that was true. Well then, that was what he would- ”Kougu…” Her croaky voice broke through Kougu’s thoughts, and he was shocked to find her standing so close beside him, for he had not even noticed her drawing nearer through the potency of his thoughts. With a sharp intake of breath, he tilted his head away from her slightly – terrified to meet her gaze – terrified to look at her, for fear he’d see the damage he had done. Then he felt a weight on his frozen arm, and he felt her fingertips softly brush the shredded skin of his hand as she attempted to stop his progress with the blade-edged mirror fragment. Wait… What? Why would she do that? Why, after all he had done, and tried to do to her… Why did she still risk her life, walk towards her would-be killer, touch the selfsame hand that had almost crushed her life, and try to stop him from destroying the danger to her life: Himself. In that silent moment of pause between the time Charlie spoke his name, and when she began speaking again, so many thoughts ran through Kougu’s mind that he could have sworn it was 10 years that passed as opposed to 10 seconds.
How should he feel about this…? He didn’t know – nor did he know what he did feel. There were so many emotions running through him, he didn’t even know what to do with them – other than sit dead still, hold his silence, tremble and, of course, bleed – since he really had no option but to do that. Charlie had come towards him. She had actually- But- He was scared. Yes, that was the first shocking realization he came to. He was terrified that, with her so near to him, he might snap once again and destroy her for real this time. He knew that it was unlikely, since he couldn’t really lose it again when he was so fully aware… Or so he hoped. But still, the fear remained. Fear for had happened, what could have happened and what would still happen. Fear of life, when all he wanted was death. Just fear – fear so potent it was almost palpable. It was like a thick blanket wrapping around him, suffocating him, and he felt he could just reach out and touch it… Only his limbs wouldn’t move – because the fear bound them tightly, paralyzing him… He couldn’t even blink, he couldn’t breathe… He couldn’t die. Why wasn’t he dead yet? Why was it all still here…? The suffering, the guilt, the pain, the remorse – why didn’t it just end? Kougu’s arm tensed again in preparation for the finishing blow, but when he felt once again Charlie’s soft touch on his fingers, his muscles slackened and he froze again. That was when Deja Vu struck, and Kougu remembered a time not-so-long-ago, yet which felt as though forever and a day had passed since. That time when he had embraced the danger… Embraced it, and tried to walk away. He hadn’t been able to cope with the hurt he was causing her then, and now it was the same thing. He knew it was for the best. He knew that if Charlie was to be safe, he had to die, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t do it, knowing that she didn’t want him to. But wait – didn’t she? Then why? Why, Charlie? Damn it! He had tried to kill her and he had almost succeeded, yet here she stood by his side, her hand staying his own so that he could not inflict punishment upon himself. Punishment for a sin that had nearly been her downfall. Kougu secretly felt a tiny flare of relieved joy at the thought that Charlie, apparently, did not hate him after all. For a brief moment, he took comfort in this fact, but then a sickening wave of guilt crashed over him. It boiled like flaming oil in the pit of his stomach, and from the pain of it Kougu felt sure he would dissolve from the inside out. Who was he to take comfort in her actions? Who was he to feel relieved, happy, because she had not chosen to hate him? He deserved hatred. The guilt, the guilt! It was too much… He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t-
Charlie began speaking again then, distracting Kougu from his torturing thoughts. His muscles slumped in defeat, and he sat pathetically still – seeming utterly helpless as he resigned himself simply to listening as Charlie spoke, and hoping that it would just go on forever, and that he would never, ever have to face the reality of his life again… The suffering of being trapped in his own mind… Nobody could ever understand. Yet Charlie, Charlie… She still managed to ease his suffering. Even now of all times, when he deserved her kindness the least, she lavished it upon him. “Kougu, you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised.” He gulped guiltily at these words – still staring determinedly at the ground, refusing to raise his eyes to hers, even when she was speaking to him. Had he promised her that…? Had he been that stupid? Surely he wouldn’t have- But he must have done, if she was telling him this now. Well, broken promises didn’t matter much to a dead man anyway, did they? Either way – he couldn’t keep that promise, and he knew it, yet he dared not admit it… He dared not meet her gaze… Kougu clenched his jaw, struggling to maintain his resolve. He tightened his hold on the shard of mirror-glass in his hand, still refusing to relinquish his grip. ” I can't let you give your life up like this. D'you really think it'll help anything?” Wait – had she really just said that? Did he really think it would help anything? Well, of course he did! Surely she did, too? Hadn’t she just seen- No, hadn’t she just experienced exactly what it would help? Surely she understood now? She had to understand now – if innocent lives were to be spared, he had to die. So why was she stopping him? No- Enough! He had to die, he would- But Kougu’s thoughts were brought to a halt again, along with his blade-happy hand, as Charlie continued speaking. “Whatever it is that's hurting you, I can help. If it's your mental stability, I'm sure there are tablets and medicines for it somewhere in the world. If it's your head, there are pain killers, you have some, don't you? The basket over there under the sink. You have everything you could find in a public pharmacy. Whatever it is, I can help you... Please let me help.” Kougu let Charlie’s words wash over him for a moment – crashing down on him like waves again and again. It seemed to take an eternity for them to sink in, and whilst he waited he was in a daze. Then – as it all hit home – Kougu felt his resolve shatter completely. His determination drained away, and Kougu slumped his tense shoulders – suddenly utterly defeated, and resigned to his fate. A fate that, once again, he had no say in. “Give it to me” Charlie whispered softly, and Kougu obliged – finally releasing the shard of mirror. It had sunk so deep into his flesh that Kougu had to stretch his palm wide to shake his hand free, and even then the jagged edge came out stiffly, and Kougu felt it sliding sickeningly beneath his skin before it finally came free of his grip. He let his arm drop helplessly to his side, where it flapped for a moment before leaving him completely motionless. At first he was blissfully devoid of thought, but then it all came rushing back. Charlie’s words – the ones that had caught him so off guard, and hit him in a soft spot he had barely known he had. “You can’t help.” He whispered in a strained voice – finally acknowledging Charlie’s presence – though his eyes still remained stubbornly locked on the ground. “Nobody… Nothing can help me.” Kougu’s voice rose slightly in pained desperation, and every word was spoken with a tremor. His voice was as unsteady as everything else about him at that moment, and when it cracked he fell silent and slowly drew in a shuddering breath to calm himself. He had said those words over and over in his head, but he supposed that somewhere… Somehow… He had still nurtured a deep set hope that they were not true. That there was some loophole, something he had overlooked… Saying them out loud – that made it official. “There is… No way.” Kougu continued in a hushed voice – speaking with near toneless defeat that shifted every so often to a pain so severe that it cracked his voice and forced him to pause yet again to straighten his speech. By this stage, he was barely even aware if he was speaking more to Charlie or to himself. He was barely aware of anything… It was all just a blur. He didn’t want to endure it all… Not again. “I’ve searched and searched… I’ve tried everything. EVERY-… Everything… I- There’s- There’s just… No escape. I can’t, I just can’t- I-“ He broke off for a moment, and drew in a trembling breath. “I can’t-“ He broke off again and remained silent for a while, slumped over and shaking. Then a quiet, strangled sort of whispered sobbing sound emerged from his shuddering form, and he found his fingers groping for another fragment of mirror on the floor. They closed around it, then tightened, and it shattered in his grasp. Despair coursed through Kougu, and he suddenly couldn’t hold back his words any longer. “I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE! I WON’T I… I won’t… I-“ He began yelling in a strangled voice – sounding as though he was on the verge of tears – then the silence gripped him again, and Kougu found himself clutching his head in what might have been frustration – though the word just didn’t seem to properly explain exactly what he was feeling at that moment, and he doubted any word ever could. “I won’t let any more people suffer because of me.” He whispered quietly, “If I’d just done this sooner my family-“ Kougu broke off then, shaking his head violently to rid himself of the crushing weight of the memories – stopping before he said too much. “I was a fool.” He murmured shakily – his voice becoming unsteady again for a moment. Then, finally, Kougu glanced up at Charlie with his tortured gaze, and his voice found stability as he spoke to her, quietly and calmly. “Charlie, I could have killed you. I almost did… Why do you take pity on me now? Think about it – I don’t deserve your kindness…” He trailed off for a moment, and when he resumed speaking it was with a tortured desperation returning to his tone, “Why don’t you shun me, shout at me, hit me, hate me… Anything! Anything but this kindness! I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, I- I- I’m sorry. I’m just so… So sorry…” Kougu looked down again, then a bitter chuckle escaped his lips. “How pathetic.” He muttered quietly, his voice oozing disgust. “Pathetic… I almost take your life, and all I can do is say that I’m sorry. Scum like me don’t deserve to live. Everybody dies anyway… What does it matter how and when? If I’d done it sooner, I could have saved a life… Many a life. I’m not making the same mistake again. Not now, not ever.” He shook his head, but he made no move to act upon his words. “I’m not thinking…” He muttered quietly. “Too emotional now… I’m not thinking straight.” He shook his head violently then, scattering a spray of blood – though he remained unsure as to the source. He barely felt the pain of his wounds, after all. It was apparent that he was slowly starting to get a grip on himself now – that his emotional outburst was drawing to a close, yet he had still given no indication that he planned to forsake his suit. “This is stupid.” He muttered, glancing toward his fingers to find them inching toward another mirror fragment. They fell still under his gaze, and Kougu sighed before glancing away from the unruly fingers. “Should get my affairs in order first… Being a selfish fool, really, trying to end it like this…” He continued muttering quietly to himself under his breath – seemingly unaware of the fact that he was thinking out loud. Then again, perhaps he was simply trying to convince himself even as he spoke. One thing was certain though, he would not be deterred from the decision he had made. Much as he scorned and detested suicide, that was what his future held, and nothing would convince him otherwise. Pathetic as it was, it was suicide that would be his demise – and soon. But until then, he could at least try to do one thing right… “Charlie.” He said suddenly, speaking in a dull, toneless voice, “Would you like me to fix up that bullet wound now? … Please…?” He slowly raised his head to look at her, his face wearing a distracted, unfocused expression. He swayed slightly where he knelt – giving the distinct impression that he was drugged up to his eyeballs, or perhaps hopelessly drunk. Of course, he was in fact nothing of the sort – but what with all that had happened, he just didn’t want to think properly, and that fact certainly showed. It was comparative bliss to just sit around in a daze like this… He could almost pretend that nothing had ever happened… He could almost believe that he’d wake up in a warm bed the next morning and find that this, all this, his entire life, had been just a dream. Almost. Kougu sighed softly to himself, then dragged his attention back to the present. He was actually somewhat surprised that he had found the courage to offer to treat Charlie’s wound after all that… Then again, who was he trying to kid? She wouldn’t accept his help now – not a chance. Now that she finally understood how dangerous he was, there was no way she would ever trust him again, surely? He had to admit, the thought was painful, but his more sensible side was deeply glad of it. Perhaps if she had more vigilance, that would help ensure her safety… From him, and from others after he was gone – which ought to be soon, if all went as planned. Still… It was killing him to see her pain and be unable to do anything about it – and that sort of ‘killing’ was certainly not the kind he was looking for! No… He just wanted Charlie to be safe and happy. She was the only important thing left in his life, after all. She was all that mattered… How ironic. He had to die, because his life itself was what threatened the existence of the one thing in his life worth living for. A quiet chuckle escaped Kougu’s lips at the thought, but it was bitter and humourless. He had lost not only the ability to see the light in the world, but also the will to get it back… He was broken, and he knew it.
How should he feel about this…? He didn’t know – nor did he know what he did feel. There were so many emotions running through him, he didn’t even know what to do with them – other than sit dead still, hold his silence, tremble and, of course, bleed – since he really had no option but to do that. Charlie had come towards him. She had actually- But- He was scared. Yes, that was the first shocking realization he came to. He was terrified that, with her so near to him, he might snap once again and destroy her for real this time. He knew that it was unlikely, since he couldn’t really lose it again when he was so fully aware… Or so he hoped. But still, the fear remained. Fear for had happened, what could have happened and what would still happen. Fear of life, when all he wanted was death. Just fear – fear so potent it was almost palpable. It was like a thick blanket wrapping around him, suffocating him, and he felt he could just reach out and touch it… Only his limbs wouldn’t move – because the fear bound them tightly, paralyzing him… He couldn’t even blink, he couldn’t breathe… He couldn’t die. Why wasn’t he dead yet? Why was it all still here…? The suffering, the guilt, the pain, the remorse – why didn’t it just end? Kougu’s arm tensed again in preparation for the finishing blow, but when he felt once again Charlie’s soft touch on his fingers, his muscles slackened and he froze again. That was when Deja Vu struck, and Kougu remembered a time not-so-long-ago, yet which felt as though forever and a day had passed since. That time when he had embraced the danger… Embraced it, and tried to walk away. He hadn’t been able to cope with the hurt he was causing her then, and now it was the same thing. He knew it was for the best. He knew that if Charlie was to be safe, he had to die, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t do it, knowing that she didn’t want him to. But wait – didn’t she? Then why? Why, Charlie? Damn it! He had tried to kill her and he had almost succeeded, yet here she stood by his side, her hand staying his own so that he could not inflict punishment upon himself. Punishment for a sin that had nearly been her downfall. Kougu secretly felt a tiny flare of relieved joy at the thought that Charlie, apparently, did not hate him after all. For a brief moment, he took comfort in this fact, but then a sickening wave of guilt crashed over him. It boiled like flaming oil in the pit of his stomach, and from the pain of it Kougu felt sure he would dissolve from the inside out. Who was he to take comfort in her actions? Who was he to feel relieved, happy, because she had not chosen to hate him? He deserved hatred. The guilt, the guilt! It was too much… He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t-
Charlie began speaking again then, distracting Kougu from his torturing thoughts. His muscles slumped in defeat, and he sat pathetically still – seeming utterly helpless as he resigned himself simply to listening as Charlie spoke, and hoping that it would just go on forever, and that he would never, ever have to face the reality of his life again… The suffering of being trapped in his own mind… Nobody could ever understand. Yet Charlie, Charlie… She still managed to ease his suffering. Even now of all times, when he deserved her kindness the least, she lavished it upon him. “Kougu, you said you wouldn't leave me. You promised.” He gulped guiltily at these words – still staring determinedly at the ground, refusing to raise his eyes to hers, even when she was speaking to him. Had he promised her that…? Had he been that stupid? Surely he wouldn’t have- But he must have done, if she was telling him this now. Well, broken promises didn’t matter much to a dead man anyway, did they? Either way – he couldn’t keep that promise, and he knew it, yet he dared not admit it… He dared not meet her gaze… Kougu clenched his jaw, struggling to maintain his resolve. He tightened his hold on the shard of mirror-glass in his hand, still refusing to relinquish his grip. ” I can't let you give your life up like this. D'you really think it'll help anything?” Wait – had she really just said that? Did he really think it would help anything? Well, of course he did! Surely she did, too? Hadn’t she just seen- No, hadn’t she just experienced exactly what it would help? Surely she understood now? She had to understand now – if innocent lives were to be spared, he had to die. So why was she stopping him? No- Enough! He had to die, he would- But Kougu’s thoughts were brought to a halt again, along with his blade-happy hand, as Charlie continued speaking. “Whatever it is that's hurting you, I can help. If it's your mental stability, I'm sure there are tablets and medicines for it somewhere in the world. If it's your head, there are pain killers, you have some, don't you? The basket over there under the sink. You have everything you could find in a public pharmacy. Whatever it is, I can help you... Please let me help.” Kougu let Charlie’s words wash over him for a moment – crashing down on him like waves again and again. It seemed to take an eternity for them to sink in, and whilst he waited he was in a daze. Then – as it all hit home – Kougu felt his resolve shatter completely. His determination drained away, and Kougu slumped his tense shoulders – suddenly utterly defeated, and resigned to his fate. A fate that, once again, he had no say in. “Give it to me” Charlie whispered softly, and Kougu obliged – finally releasing the shard of mirror. It had sunk so deep into his flesh that Kougu had to stretch his palm wide to shake his hand free, and even then the jagged edge came out stiffly, and Kougu felt it sliding sickeningly beneath his skin before it finally came free of his grip. He let his arm drop helplessly to his side, where it flapped for a moment before leaving him completely motionless. At first he was blissfully devoid of thought, but then it all came rushing back. Charlie’s words – the ones that had caught him so off guard, and hit him in a soft spot he had barely known he had. “You can’t help.” He whispered in a strained voice – finally acknowledging Charlie’s presence – though his eyes still remained stubbornly locked on the ground. “Nobody… Nothing can help me.” Kougu’s voice rose slightly in pained desperation, and every word was spoken with a tremor. His voice was as unsteady as everything else about him at that moment, and when it cracked he fell silent and slowly drew in a shuddering breath to calm himself. He had said those words over and over in his head, but he supposed that somewhere… Somehow… He had still nurtured a deep set hope that they were not true. That there was some loophole, something he had overlooked… Saying them out loud – that made it official. “There is… No way.” Kougu continued in a hushed voice – speaking with near toneless defeat that shifted every so often to a pain so severe that it cracked his voice and forced him to pause yet again to straighten his speech. By this stage, he was barely even aware if he was speaking more to Charlie or to himself. He was barely aware of anything… It was all just a blur. He didn’t want to endure it all… Not again. “I’ve searched and searched… I’ve tried everything. EVERY-… Everything… I- There’s- There’s just… No escape. I can’t, I just can’t- I-“ He broke off for a moment, and drew in a trembling breath. “I can’t-“ He broke off again and remained silent for a while, slumped over and shaking. Then a quiet, strangled sort of whispered sobbing sound emerged from his shuddering form, and he found his fingers groping for another fragment of mirror on the floor. They closed around it, then tightened, and it shattered in his grasp. Despair coursed through Kougu, and he suddenly couldn’t hold back his words any longer. “I CAN’T DO THIS ANY MORE! I WON’T I… I won’t… I-“ He began yelling in a strangled voice – sounding as though he was on the verge of tears – then the silence gripped him again, and Kougu found himself clutching his head in what might have been frustration – though the word just didn’t seem to properly explain exactly what he was feeling at that moment, and he doubted any word ever could. “I won’t let any more people suffer because of me.” He whispered quietly, “If I’d just done this sooner my family-“ Kougu broke off then, shaking his head violently to rid himself of the crushing weight of the memories – stopping before he said too much. “I was a fool.” He murmured shakily – his voice becoming unsteady again for a moment. Then, finally, Kougu glanced up at Charlie with his tortured gaze, and his voice found stability as he spoke to her, quietly and calmly. “Charlie, I could have killed you. I almost did… Why do you take pity on me now? Think about it – I don’t deserve your kindness…” He trailed off for a moment, and when he resumed speaking it was with a tortured desperation returning to his tone, “Why don’t you shun me, shout at me, hit me, hate me… Anything! Anything but this kindness! I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, I- I- I’m sorry. I’m just so… So sorry…” Kougu looked down again, then a bitter chuckle escaped his lips. “How pathetic.” He muttered quietly, his voice oozing disgust. “Pathetic… I almost take your life, and all I can do is say that I’m sorry. Scum like me don’t deserve to live. Everybody dies anyway… What does it matter how and when? If I’d done it sooner, I could have saved a life… Many a life. I’m not making the same mistake again. Not now, not ever.” He shook his head, but he made no move to act upon his words. “I’m not thinking…” He muttered quietly. “Too emotional now… I’m not thinking straight.” He shook his head violently then, scattering a spray of blood – though he remained unsure as to the source. He barely felt the pain of his wounds, after all. It was apparent that he was slowly starting to get a grip on himself now – that his emotional outburst was drawing to a close, yet he had still given no indication that he planned to forsake his suit. “This is stupid.” He muttered, glancing toward his fingers to find them inching toward another mirror fragment. They fell still under his gaze, and Kougu sighed before glancing away from the unruly fingers. “Should get my affairs in order first… Being a selfish fool, really, trying to end it like this…” He continued muttering quietly to himself under his breath – seemingly unaware of the fact that he was thinking out loud. Then again, perhaps he was simply trying to convince himself even as he spoke. One thing was certain though, he would not be deterred from the decision he had made. Much as he scorned and detested suicide, that was what his future held, and nothing would convince him otherwise. Pathetic as it was, it was suicide that would be his demise – and soon. But until then, he could at least try to do one thing right… “Charlie.” He said suddenly, speaking in a dull, toneless voice, “Would you like me to fix up that bullet wound now? … Please…?” He slowly raised his head to look at her, his face wearing a distracted, unfocused expression. He swayed slightly where he knelt – giving the distinct impression that he was drugged up to his eyeballs, or perhaps hopelessly drunk. Of course, he was in fact nothing of the sort – but what with all that had happened, he just didn’t want to think properly, and that fact certainly showed. It was comparative bliss to just sit around in a daze like this… He could almost pretend that nothing had ever happened… He could almost believe that he’d wake up in a warm bed the next morning and find that this, all this, his entire life, had been just a dream. Almost. Kougu sighed softly to himself, then dragged his attention back to the present. He was actually somewhat surprised that he had found the courage to offer to treat Charlie’s wound after all that… Then again, who was he trying to kid? She wouldn’t accept his help now – not a chance. Now that she finally understood how dangerous he was, there was no way she would ever trust him again, surely? He had to admit, the thought was painful, but his more sensible side was deeply glad of it. Perhaps if she had more vigilance, that would help ensure her safety… From him, and from others after he was gone – which ought to be soon, if all went as planned. Still… It was killing him to see her pain and be unable to do anything about it – and that sort of ‘killing’ was certainly not the kind he was looking for! No… He just wanted Charlie to be safe and happy. She was the only important thing left in his life, after all. She was all that mattered… How ironic. He had to die, because his life itself was what threatened the existence of the one thing in his life worth living for. A quiet chuckle escaped Kougu’s lips at the thought, but it was bitter and humourless. He had lost not only the ability to see the light in the world, but also the will to get it back… He was broken, and he knew it.
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Fri Oct 08, 2010 4:07 pm
The meaning of life:
You Were Born For A Reason.
Yes, this advice would be extremely helpful, if I wasn't talking to a man with insane intelligence who was just about to kill himself, especially when it was over the fact that he'd tried to murder me in the first place. I wasn't used to this. What was I suppose to say? I was no educated woman, I was a little girl. A stupid little girl that had never had the chance of friends since she was ten years old... Since she was old enough to break the law. I didn't know what the meaning of life was. Then again, who did? What was life other than a single heartbeat, a single rush of blood pumping through a single vein in a single person's body? Were we born with a purpose? Was I born to break the law? Was I born to become my mother's private punch bag? Was Kougu born to kill people? To kill himself?? Wait, what was I thinking about? I didn't give a damn what either of us were born to do, or whatever reason we had to even exist. I wasn't going to sit back and watch him take away his life without trying to do something about it... No way! He was my best friend, and I was going to make sure he knew it before he went and did something we'd both regret later on. If he killed himself now, I don't think I'd be able to live with the guilt that it was me he gave his life over. That I was responsible for his death, even if I wasn't the one who had pointed the blade to his throat. I remember my father's advice until this day, and I lived by it until that one. Watching him die was just as bad as killing him myself. I couldn't...I just couldn't sit back as he threw his life away over something as small, pointless and as petty as myself.
But the problem was, he must have thought his reason to be born was to kill people, and so it was one he could no longer live up to in fear that he hurt me too. He thought he was protecting me, that was the main thing. He actually believed this was the right thing. That it would end his suffering and save my life. But what about my suffering? What about the heartbreak he was causing me just seeing him like this, in this heart-breaking state? Had he ever thought of that? The sad thing is, it didn't bother him at all. He looked so defeated, I could almost imagine him holding up a little white flag over his head in surrender. He was bleeding from head-to-toe, the mirror in his hand had stuck in so far I swear it was touching bone. Yet he didn't care. How on earth could he not care about his own wellbeing? How could he be so selfless?
So okay, I admit being selfless is okay, to an extent. But when you're ready to throw your life away, bleed to death, slit your own throat or whatever, it was not okay. It was so not okay. Especially when there are still people around you who care about you and don't want you to die. That was when it turned from selfless, to selfish. Whether my life was on the line or not, it didn't matter. This was pure selfishness, what he was doing. Honestly, after all they'd been through together, after all he'd done for me, and he chose then to be selfish? What timing!
A light tinkle of the glass blade caused me to stir slightly, as I'd been almost too tense to notice him shake his hand as the knife-like object hit the hard, tiled floor so quietly if a single noise had been heard in the room, it would have probably gone by unheard. It rattled across the once-immaculate flooring, shining innocently back at me so much I could almost see my reflection through the large splashes of blood that trickled town the sides from where Kougu's fingers had been dug into by the sharp edges. Relief flooded through me like a tsunami wave at the fact that he had, finally, done as he was told, but it didn't take me long to let my face fall back into a concerned frown as I silently shuffled onto my pelvis beside him. His shoulders were slumped, in fact, his whole posture had sunk in absolute submission. He'd given up. But of course, what had he given up on? Killing himself? Because if so, I was glad. The fact that he'd given up meant he wasn't ready to die now, no matter how ready he had been before. It meant he was listening to me.
“You can't help” Each syllable he spoke hit me like a bullet to the heart as I felt myself feeling the pain that I could tell he was suffering just by the tone of his voice. He really had given up, hadn't he? But why? Why give up when he could achieve so much more? Couldn't he see it? Wow, for a genius he wasn't very clever, was he? I let out a long, steady breath as he began to speak again, kicking aside the glass parts by my feet so I couldn't cut myself in... any awkward places. “I’ve searched and searched… I’ve tried everything. EVERY-… Everything… I- There’s- There’s just… No escape. I can’t, I just can’t- I-” My eyebrows tensed with my creasing brow at his words of frustration, yet all that seemed to show in his expression was defeat, sorrow, regret, and heartache. Of course! Pride washed over me for a moment, and I couldn't help but feel slightly thrilled at the fact I could see so much emotion just from his features. Such things were rarely found on Kougu, yet now his face was flooding with emotion. It just showed how defeated he really was.
It suddenly dawned on me why he was feeling so down. It wasn't just me he was mourning over, even thought I wasn't dead. It was that he felt as if he was on his own, that there was absolutely nothing more that could be done for him. But how could he know? He'd been on his own so long, how could he be so sure he'd tried everything? Okay, so Kougu was clever. But he wasn't that clever, surely. He couldn't have tried all the medicines in the world, not on his own. He'd said I was his friend, when was the last time he'd had one of those? How long ago could it have been? Three...four years? More? He needed someone with him, obviously. But could I be that person? Would I be able to help him find himself? It would be hard, since he had tried to kill me the last time he'd shown me so much kindness. I'd have to watch my back from now on, no matter how much I trusted him. “I can't-” He murmured shakily, and I could have sworn I could see tears glistening at his eyes. Yet nothing fell; well, nothing fell from his eyes.
A sudden rush of sorrow washed over me when I realised how much he must have been hurting, and I found myself totally forgetting about my own physical wounds and focussing my full attention on his words. He wouldn't look at me, as his eyes were stubbornly locked on the ground before him. But I didn't need to see his gaze to know that he was feeling such pain beyond anything I had experienced – and I'd experienced a lot. “I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I WON'T I... I won't, I...” His raised voice caused me to stir temporarily, and my eyelids snapped closed. I couldn't stand listening to this... All this emotion coming from his voice. The volume was different every time but it seemed the emotion in each syllable still seemed to cause tears to prick at my eyes. I felt do helpless... So damn helpless sitting there, whilst my best friend was in pain, yet I could do nothing about it. Helpless... Like always... a voice echoed in my mind, but I forced away as my eyes scrunched even tighter together. I couldn't afford to let anything else affect my performance, I'd already had too much of that today. Walking was even becoming hard work, and I could see bright sparks of white in my vision, warning me that my consciousness was fading. But I simply had to stay awake, for Kougu's sake. No more feeling sorry for myself. My priority was now Kougu, and only Kougu.
“I won’t let any more people suffer because of me” This one struck me right in the heart, like the point of a long spear. He thought people had suffered because of him? Well, I knew I had, to an extent. But alongside all the good he'd done for me, it was like comparing a butterfly to a Jack Russell Terrier. Something that small was light enough to fly away into the air, ready to be forgotten and looked past. Sure, it has affected me. But my outer wounds are only minor compared to what he seemed to think they were. Minus the gun shot, of course, but that hadn't been his fault at all. That had been me trying to use my extremely poor quick-thinking skills to do good. And (xD) it had worked... sort of. But people had suffered because of me, too. Many a time. Images flashed in my head without invitation as the memory from last year haunted me : The flames... The roof caving in... Jimmy's horrifying smirk as he leapt into a sprint, disappearing around the corner...leaving me alone to face the reminder of what I'd done...The burned black tip of the match in my hand... No... NO! I had to stop thinking such things. I couldn't remember... Please don't let me remember...
“If I'd done this sooner my family- I was a fool” This was when he finally looked at me, and I noticed how calm he had become. I was glad, to be honest, as I was on the merge of tears just listening to him speak... Just hearing the hurt in his voice... “Charlie, I could have killed you. I almost did… Why do you take pity on me now? Think about it – I don’t deserve your kindness...” At the sound of my voice, my gaze dropped to the floor. It was the first time I felt he'd really truly directed his words at me since Kougu had carried me back to the house and placed me on the bath on the other side of the room. My eyes trailed back to the crystal white porcelain, looking almost out of place compared to the blood-splattered floor and the mirrored glass scattered all over the matching tiles. It felt like lifetimes ago since I'd sat by that bath. “Oh, trust me... You deserve more kindness than I do...” I muttered subconsciously, my gaze going glassy as I continued to stare unblinkingly at the edge of the bathtub. But I was right, he did deserve more kindness that I could give him, as anything would be more than I deserved in a lifetime.
“Why don’t you shun me, shout at me, hit me, hate me… Anything! Anything but this kindness! I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, I- I- I’m sorry. I’m just so… So sorry...” My expression slackened at that point, and I too found myself slumping, utterly defeated beside the door, listening to him as he shattered his emotions almost as much as the mirror he had destroyed. It took a moment or two for his words to sink in. But when they did, my face creased into a puzzled frown. He thought I'd do that? What kind of person did he think I was? My lips let out a long sigh and I let my head roll to watch him, my tired, glassy eyes flickering over his features before I decided to speak. “Kougu, I could never hate you, no matter how much you want me to. I... I don't deserve you. I don't deserve the way you've treated me since we met on the street. I mean, sure, you could have killed me. But you didn't. Yes, you tried; but there was obviously something in there that got you to stop before you could kill me completely. Don't you see? You're stronger than you think” My lips curved a weak smile as I felt the pride slowly grow in my stomach, and I felt like I had a flock of butterflies swarming around inside me, fighting each other to get out. Would he believe me? I had no idea, but at least I was trying.
“Pathetic… I almost take your life, and all I can do is say that I’m sorry. Scum like me don’t deserve to live. Everybody dies anyway… What does it matter how and when? If I’d done it sooner, I could have saved a life… Many a life. I’m not making the same mistake again. Not now, not ever. I'm not thinking...” I could tell at this point he was muttering the words to himself, probably in order to calm himself down. But wait a minute, didn't he just say he didn't deserve to live? Wow, this was going to take a lot of encouragement from me to keep him alive for the next few minutes. I was not trained for this. I couldn't explain to someone whom I barely knew about life... Not when mine had been pretty much hell also. Anything I could think of, I knew, would be a waste of time anyway. But Kougu's life was on the line. I had to say something... But what? What was I supposed to say? “Charlie” Kougu's voice brought me back from my trance of thought and forced me to look into his deep sea-blue eyes, slightly bloodshot and still recovering from his version of an emotional outburst only moments before. His voice was toneless, yet it seemed there was still emotion shaking within his quiet murmuring that I couldn't quite grasp the name of, if there ever were such a feeling. “Would you like me to fix up that bullet wound now? … Please…[/i?”
The words for some reason brought a smile to my lips, although I knew this was no smiling matter. After all he'd done, sink blades of glass through his fingers, stabbed himself, thrown his head into a door and finally sunk in a heap on a glass-ridden floor... Not to mention trying to commit suicide. Yet all he could care about was me? Right, I understand about how he had tried to murder me earlier, but I was no longer the top priority, here. My wound was in my shoulder. Sure, it hurt, but I wasn't going to die in the next few minutes like Kougu was in danger of doing. He'd stabbed his ribs, and goodness knows what vital organs had been hit when he sent that glass into his side. From the look of how quickly his blood had flooded out and smeared all over his shirt, he was in serious danger of loosing blood, and much more than me. Clenching my teeth as I ignored the painful moans that threatened on the edge of my lips, I used my right hand to shuffle round and face Kougu, me head slowly shaking from side-to-side stubbornly. Yet my expression was still soft. Too tired to show otherwise, I guess. “No. No, don't you worry about me just yet. Get yourself sorted out first. Goodness knows what vital organs you've hit in there” As I spoke, my lips managed to twitch a weak smile, but somehow I couldn't make it last enough to really be of any use. Neither of us seemed to have the energy. “Anyway, how do I know you won't kill yourself once you've sorted me out? Yes, that's right. This one time, I actually [i]don't trust you. I don't trust that you will keep yourself alive once you know I'm in no danger of dying myself. I can't let you go, no matter what you tried to do to me. I care about you...” My eyes flickered over his pale, slightly blood-painted face, studying the shadowy glint in his sorrowful eyes. I still didn't know the full story behind those eyes, as he didn't seem to want to tell me. Still, for now I was in no rush, as I personally didn't want a repeat of what had happened when we'd first got into the house. The memory made me shudder slightly. “Whether you like it or not” I finished quietly, letting out a long sigh. Wow, I loved being stubborn. Sometimes admittedly, it did have it's bad points. And it wasn't the most attractive personality most people could really appreciate, but it did have it's advantages. Now, for instance. When I tried hard enough, even Kougu couldn't change my mind, and even if it put my life at risk it did make me think more about the bigger picture, and force me to think more about those who I cared about most. Kougu, being my one and only friend, was pretty much top of my list. And (xD) no matter what he threatened to, or even succeed in doing, he wasn't going to budge from that spot. “Come on” I whispered, shakily pulling myself into an uncomfortable squat beside him. “Tell me what you need to sort out your wounds and I'll get it for you. How does that sound?”
((Bleh, sorry it's pretty shocking, and there isn't really much to work with. But I shall leave you and your talent to find something to write about for yourself xD))
You Were Born For A Reason.
Yes, this advice would be extremely helpful, if I wasn't talking to a man with insane intelligence who was just about to kill himself, especially when it was over the fact that he'd tried to murder me in the first place. I wasn't used to this. What was I suppose to say? I was no educated woman, I was a little girl. A stupid little girl that had never had the chance of friends since she was ten years old... Since she was old enough to break the law. I didn't know what the meaning of life was. Then again, who did? What was life other than a single heartbeat, a single rush of blood pumping through a single vein in a single person's body? Were we born with a purpose? Was I born to break the law? Was I born to become my mother's private punch bag? Was Kougu born to kill people? To kill himself?? Wait, what was I thinking about? I didn't give a damn what either of us were born to do, or whatever reason we had to even exist. I wasn't going to sit back and watch him take away his life without trying to do something about it... No way! He was my best friend, and I was going to make sure he knew it before he went and did something we'd both regret later on. If he killed himself now, I don't think I'd be able to live with the guilt that it was me he gave his life over. That I was responsible for his death, even if I wasn't the one who had pointed the blade to his throat. I remember my father's advice until this day, and I lived by it until that one. Watching him die was just as bad as killing him myself. I couldn't...I just couldn't sit back as he threw his life away over something as small, pointless and as petty as myself.
But the problem was, he must have thought his reason to be born was to kill people, and so it was one he could no longer live up to in fear that he hurt me too. He thought he was protecting me, that was the main thing. He actually believed this was the right thing. That it would end his suffering and save my life. But what about my suffering? What about the heartbreak he was causing me just seeing him like this, in this heart-breaking state? Had he ever thought of that? The sad thing is, it didn't bother him at all. He looked so defeated, I could almost imagine him holding up a little white flag over his head in surrender. He was bleeding from head-to-toe, the mirror in his hand had stuck in so far I swear it was touching bone. Yet he didn't care. How on earth could he not care about his own wellbeing? How could he be so selfless?
So okay, I admit being selfless is okay, to an extent. But when you're ready to throw your life away, bleed to death, slit your own throat or whatever, it was not okay. It was so not okay. Especially when there are still people around you who care about you and don't want you to die. That was when it turned from selfless, to selfish. Whether my life was on the line or not, it didn't matter. This was pure selfishness, what he was doing. Honestly, after all they'd been through together, after all he'd done for me, and he chose then to be selfish? What timing!
A light tinkle of the glass blade caused me to stir slightly, as I'd been almost too tense to notice him shake his hand as the knife-like object hit the hard, tiled floor so quietly if a single noise had been heard in the room, it would have probably gone by unheard. It rattled across the once-immaculate flooring, shining innocently back at me so much I could almost see my reflection through the large splashes of blood that trickled town the sides from where Kougu's fingers had been dug into by the sharp edges. Relief flooded through me like a tsunami wave at the fact that he had, finally, done as he was told, but it didn't take me long to let my face fall back into a concerned frown as I silently shuffled onto my pelvis beside him. His shoulders were slumped, in fact, his whole posture had sunk in absolute submission. He'd given up. But of course, what had he given up on? Killing himself? Because if so, I was glad. The fact that he'd given up meant he wasn't ready to die now, no matter how ready he had been before. It meant he was listening to me.
“You can't help” Each syllable he spoke hit me like a bullet to the heart as I felt myself feeling the pain that I could tell he was suffering just by the tone of his voice. He really had given up, hadn't he? But why? Why give up when he could achieve so much more? Couldn't he see it? Wow, for a genius he wasn't very clever, was he? I let out a long, steady breath as he began to speak again, kicking aside the glass parts by my feet so I couldn't cut myself in... any awkward places. “I’ve searched and searched… I’ve tried everything. EVERY-… Everything… I- There’s- There’s just… No escape. I can’t, I just can’t- I-” My eyebrows tensed with my creasing brow at his words of frustration, yet all that seemed to show in his expression was defeat, sorrow, regret, and heartache. Of course! Pride washed over me for a moment, and I couldn't help but feel slightly thrilled at the fact I could see so much emotion just from his features. Such things were rarely found on Kougu, yet now his face was flooding with emotion. It just showed how defeated he really was.
It suddenly dawned on me why he was feeling so down. It wasn't just me he was mourning over, even thought I wasn't dead. It was that he felt as if he was on his own, that there was absolutely nothing more that could be done for him. But how could he know? He'd been on his own so long, how could he be so sure he'd tried everything? Okay, so Kougu was clever. But he wasn't that clever, surely. He couldn't have tried all the medicines in the world, not on his own. He'd said I was his friend, when was the last time he'd had one of those? How long ago could it have been? Three...four years? More? He needed someone with him, obviously. But could I be that person? Would I be able to help him find himself? It would be hard, since he had tried to kill me the last time he'd shown me so much kindness. I'd have to watch my back from now on, no matter how much I trusted him. “I can't-” He murmured shakily, and I could have sworn I could see tears glistening at his eyes. Yet nothing fell; well, nothing fell from his eyes.
A sudden rush of sorrow washed over me when I realised how much he must have been hurting, and I found myself totally forgetting about my own physical wounds and focussing my full attention on his words. He wouldn't look at me, as his eyes were stubbornly locked on the ground before him. But I didn't need to see his gaze to know that he was feeling such pain beyond anything I had experienced – and I'd experienced a lot. “I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I WON'T I... I won't, I...” His raised voice caused me to stir temporarily, and my eyelids snapped closed. I couldn't stand listening to this... All this emotion coming from his voice. The volume was different every time but it seemed the emotion in each syllable still seemed to cause tears to prick at my eyes. I felt do helpless... So damn helpless sitting there, whilst my best friend was in pain, yet I could do nothing about it. Helpless... Like always... a voice echoed in my mind, but I forced away as my eyes scrunched even tighter together. I couldn't afford to let anything else affect my performance, I'd already had too much of that today. Walking was even becoming hard work, and I could see bright sparks of white in my vision, warning me that my consciousness was fading. But I simply had to stay awake, for Kougu's sake. No more feeling sorry for myself. My priority was now Kougu, and only Kougu.
“I won’t let any more people suffer because of me” This one struck me right in the heart, like the point of a long spear. He thought people had suffered because of him? Well, I knew I had, to an extent. But alongside all the good he'd done for me, it was like comparing a butterfly to a Jack Russell Terrier. Something that small was light enough to fly away into the air, ready to be forgotten and looked past. Sure, it has affected me. But my outer wounds are only minor compared to what he seemed to think they were. Minus the gun shot, of course, but that hadn't been his fault at all. That had been me trying to use my extremely poor quick-thinking skills to do good. And (xD) it had worked... sort of. But people had suffered because of me, too. Many a time. Images flashed in my head without invitation as the memory from last year haunted me : The flames... The roof caving in... Jimmy's horrifying smirk as he leapt into a sprint, disappearing around the corner...leaving me alone to face the reminder of what I'd done...The burned black tip of the match in my hand... No... NO! I had to stop thinking such things. I couldn't remember... Please don't let me remember...
“If I'd done this sooner my family- I was a fool” This was when he finally looked at me, and I noticed how calm he had become. I was glad, to be honest, as I was on the merge of tears just listening to him speak... Just hearing the hurt in his voice... “Charlie, I could have killed you. I almost did… Why do you take pity on me now? Think about it – I don’t deserve your kindness...” At the sound of my voice, my gaze dropped to the floor. It was the first time I felt he'd really truly directed his words at me since Kougu had carried me back to the house and placed me on the bath on the other side of the room. My eyes trailed back to the crystal white porcelain, looking almost out of place compared to the blood-splattered floor and the mirrored glass scattered all over the matching tiles. It felt like lifetimes ago since I'd sat by that bath. “Oh, trust me... You deserve more kindness than I do...” I muttered subconsciously, my gaze going glassy as I continued to stare unblinkingly at the edge of the bathtub. But I was right, he did deserve more kindness that I could give him, as anything would be more than I deserved in a lifetime.
“Why don’t you shun me, shout at me, hit me, hate me… Anything! Anything but this kindness! I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you, I- I- I’m sorry. I’m just so… So sorry...” My expression slackened at that point, and I too found myself slumping, utterly defeated beside the door, listening to him as he shattered his emotions almost as much as the mirror he had destroyed. It took a moment or two for his words to sink in. But when they did, my face creased into a puzzled frown. He thought I'd do that? What kind of person did he think I was? My lips let out a long sigh and I let my head roll to watch him, my tired, glassy eyes flickering over his features before I decided to speak. “Kougu, I could never hate you, no matter how much you want me to. I... I don't deserve you. I don't deserve the way you've treated me since we met on the street. I mean, sure, you could have killed me. But you didn't. Yes, you tried; but there was obviously something in there that got you to stop before you could kill me completely. Don't you see? You're stronger than you think” My lips curved a weak smile as I felt the pride slowly grow in my stomach, and I felt like I had a flock of butterflies swarming around inside me, fighting each other to get out. Would he believe me? I had no idea, but at least I was trying.
“Pathetic… I almost take your life, and all I can do is say that I’m sorry. Scum like me don’t deserve to live. Everybody dies anyway… What does it matter how and when? If I’d done it sooner, I could have saved a life… Many a life. I’m not making the same mistake again. Not now, not ever. I'm not thinking...” I could tell at this point he was muttering the words to himself, probably in order to calm himself down. But wait a minute, didn't he just say he didn't deserve to live? Wow, this was going to take a lot of encouragement from me to keep him alive for the next few minutes. I was not trained for this. I couldn't explain to someone whom I barely knew about life... Not when mine had been pretty much hell also. Anything I could think of, I knew, would be a waste of time anyway. But Kougu's life was on the line. I had to say something... But what? What was I supposed to say? “Charlie” Kougu's voice brought me back from my trance of thought and forced me to look into his deep sea-blue eyes, slightly bloodshot and still recovering from his version of an emotional outburst only moments before. His voice was toneless, yet it seemed there was still emotion shaking within his quiet murmuring that I couldn't quite grasp the name of, if there ever were such a feeling. “Would you like me to fix up that bullet wound now? … Please…[/i?”
The words for some reason brought a smile to my lips, although I knew this was no smiling matter. After all he'd done, sink blades of glass through his fingers, stabbed himself, thrown his head into a door and finally sunk in a heap on a glass-ridden floor... Not to mention trying to commit suicide. Yet all he could care about was me? Right, I understand about how he had tried to murder me earlier, but I was no longer the top priority, here. My wound was in my shoulder. Sure, it hurt, but I wasn't going to die in the next few minutes like Kougu was in danger of doing. He'd stabbed his ribs, and goodness knows what vital organs had been hit when he sent that glass into his side. From the look of how quickly his blood had flooded out and smeared all over his shirt, he was in serious danger of loosing blood, and much more than me. Clenching my teeth as I ignored the painful moans that threatened on the edge of my lips, I used my right hand to shuffle round and face Kougu, me head slowly shaking from side-to-side stubbornly. Yet my expression was still soft. Too tired to show otherwise, I guess. “No. No, don't you worry about me just yet. Get yourself sorted out first. Goodness knows what vital organs you've hit in there” As I spoke, my lips managed to twitch a weak smile, but somehow I couldn't make it last enough to really be of any use. Neither of us seemed to have the energy. “Anyway, how do I know you won't kill yourself once you've sorted me out? Yes, that's right. This one time, I actually [i]don't trust you. I don't trust that you will keep yourself alive once you know I'm in no danger of dying myself. I can't let you go, no matter what you tried to do to me. I care about you...” My eyes flickered over his pale, slightly blood-painted face, studying the shadowy glint in his sorrowful eyes. I still didn't know the full story behind those eyes, as he didn't seem to want to tell me. Still, for now I was in no rush, as I personally didn't want a repeat of what had happened when we'd first got into the house. The memory made me shudder slightly. “Whether you like it or not” I finished quietly, letting out a long sigh. Wow, I loved being stubborn. Sometimes admittedly, it did have it's bad points. And it wasn't the most attractive personality most people could really appreciate, but it did have it's advantages. Now, for instance. When I tried hard enough, even Kougu couldn't change my mind, and even if it put my life at risk it did make me think more about the bigger picture, and force me to think more about those who I cared about most. Kougu, being my one and only friend, was pretty much top of my list. And (xD) no matter what he threatened to, or even succeed in doing, he wasn't going to budge from that spot. “Come on” I whispered, shakily pulling myself into an uncomfortable squat beside him. “Tell me what you need to sort out your wounds and I'll get it for you. How does that sound?”
((Bleh, sorry it's pretty shocking, and there isn't really much to work with. But I shall leave you and your talent to find something to write about for yourself xD))
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Mon Oct 11, 2010 1:04 am
((Sorry it took so long! D: *glomps* 
))
”No.” That was the first word to leave Charlie’s lips in response to his offer, and for a moment it was the only one he heard. No. Just simply no. No more did she trust him to be around her. No more would she let him try to help her. No more would she accept his friendship – for friendship was what this had become and even he could no longer question that, not even a little. Charlie was not going to let him help her after all – but then what? Would she go in to the hospital after all? If she did, that would simply cement in his mind just how desperate she was to get away from him at that moment, using any means possible. When he had suggested the hospital earlier she had seemed horrified – yet now she was going to that place that she utterly despised simply so she could escape his care… Wait, what?! Had Charlie said anything along those lines? He didn’t think so. This was yet another ‘impossible’ situation, and it was about time he stopped having those now… He needed to think less and listen more, it was that simple. So why didn’t he? Charlie was still speaking, after all… Now was his chance to listen. She was trying to help him, however hopeless that may have been. The least he could do would be to give her a fair chance at attempting the impossible. It took a brave kind of person to take on a mission knowing that it would end in failure, after all… And he did not doubt for a single moment that Charlie’s suit would end in a complete and utter failure. He was beyond help, just as he always had been. He was alone, just as he always had been… Only now he had Charlie. Charlie, who still stood by his side and cared for him even after he had unleashed his beastly loss of control upon her… He may still have been alone in his battle, but he had Charlie with him in reality now – for better or for worse. Perhaps he was wrong… Perhaps it wasn’t that he couldn’t be helped - for nobody else had ever been foolish enough to try to help him anyway – but perhaps it was that he would not allow himself to be helped. He had never looked at it that way before… But now he did, it made sense. It actually made sense! Kougu heard the soft squeaking of glass scratching against tile (Just typing that hurt my ears. ) as his fingers scraped along the glass-ridden floor to meet him palms, forming fists of his hands. Fists that leaked endless rivers of blood as they shook slightly by his sides. Yet they were lightly formed – not clenched in anger or frustration, but loosely grasped, as though they were there simply to hold on to something. Hope. That was what he had found from that brief moment of thought: Hope. It was amazing how simple thought could take him from complete hopeless despair, to feeling his first sparkling of hope in what felt like an eternity – just in a matter of seconds. And if that was the power of thought, who was to say he could not use that to his advantage?! Kougu’s fists clenched tighter in excitement at this point, and blood bubbled sickeningly from between his fingers – acting almost as celebratory champagne for his unexpected discovery. If he could just get his thoughts on the right track, perhaps he would have a chance of controlling this… After all – all the time he had been fighting for Charlie’s freedom back with the police, he had felt it niggling away at him and trying to take control. But his defenses had been strong then, and he had held it off. At first it had been easy, but when the pain had weakened those defenses he had built – it had become a Herculean effort. If that was the case, then it made sense that all he would have to do would be to keep his guard up at all times, and build it so powerfully that nothing could break it down… Not even his painful memories. There was a solution… Not a good one or an unquestionable one, but a solution nonetheless! Perhaps it was only weak and temporary… But he had, to some extent, found a means to crush his greatest problem. Nothing could have elated him more – aside, perhaps, from Charlie’s eternal happiness or something of the sort… Wait – Charlie… She was still there, he had almost forgotten. Wait – no. That wasn’t true… All this thinking had actually, to some extent, included her. He couldn’t do this alone after all… He simply wasn’t strong enough. But somehow, with Charlie by his side, it felt like anything was possible. She had offered to help him and perhaps she could after all – simply by being herself.
This shocking thought stopped Kougu in his tracks, for he had just realized, for the first time, exactly how deep his affection for Charlie stemmed. He really did care about her… He had hardly even known. In fact, he cared about her so much that he was relieved that he might be able to evade death, because it meant that Charlie would not have to suffer the inconveniences of dealing with all the problems he left over. And, though he would never admit it – even to himself, because it meant he would get to spend just a little more time with her… For every moment in Charlie’s company were precious to him – ever these now – sitting on a glass-ridden floor with blood oozing from them both and death in the air. He treasured every moment. Of course, it made sense. Before Charlie, he had been alone, hopeless, broken and completely without anything worth living for. Charlie had taken all that away like a magician with the sweep of a hat. While he had always had a reason to stay alive, Charlie had given him a reason to live. She was, without doubt, the top priority in his life… And he would do anything for her – literally.
At this thought, Kougu glanced down at his lightly clenched fists – still shaking slightly in the pools of blood they had created. He had almost acted in contrast to those final words… When he had held that shard of mirror to his throat, and Charlie had asked him to stop, he almost hadn’t. It was ironic, really… The only thing he had almost been unwilling to do for her, was to live… The very thing that she had given him reason to do. Well… He would do that now. He could do that now, if Charlie would still help him. And this time – this time he was not going to underestimate her. He knew that she would, and that she wanted to, because he knew that she was a kinder and greater person, not to mention more selfless, than he would ever be… She just didn’t see it yet. Perhaps one day he would manage to show her… But until then…
Kougu slowly let his dark gaze flicker upwards, locking his masked eyes on Charlie’s face. There was no more defeat slumping his shoulders – no more feeble wobble to his chin. He had hope now, and with it – determination. He would not fail. For Charlie – he would fix himself. Refocusing his thoughts, Kougu let his eyes dart quickly over Charlie’s angelic face, and when he saw her subtle smile he felt a sudden burst of relieved delight. He dropped his head down again, his dark, bloodsoaked fringe falling down over his eyes as a slight smile curved his own lips and he chuckled ever so slightly. Her words began to come back to him then: Words he had not quite listened to at the time they were spoken, but that he had committed to memory to consult later on – like now. ” “No. No, don't you worry about me just yet. Get yourself sorted out first. Goodness knows what vital organs you've hit in there.”
Ah, so that was what the ‘no’ was about in the first place… But wait – time to focus – she was speaking again now. Kougu’s gaze darted upwards, and his innocent dark eyes gazed at her attentively as she spoke – making it clear that he was now ready to listen to every word. “Anyway, how do I know you won't kill yourself once you've sorted me out? Yes, that's right. This one time, I actually don't trust you. I don't trust that you will keep yourself alive once you know I'm in no danger of dying myself. I can't let you go, no matter what you tried to do to me. I care about you... Whether you like it or not.”
At these words, a warm glow spread though him – a feeling he was somewhat ashamed of, since he knew he didn’t deserve it… Yet once which he appreciated all the same. She did care… She did care after all, and though he resented that fact, he was also hugely glad of it – in some strange, twisted way. “Charlie…” He began quietly, but before he could make his voice heard, she had begun speaking again. “Come on… Tell me what you need to sort out your wounds and I'll get it for you. How does that sound?” Kougu lowered his head again at this thought, shaking it slightly from side to side in fond incredulity. A whispered chuckle escaped his lips, and then he glanced back at Charlie – the slightest shadow of a smile on a face that suddenly seemed more his own. “You’re a fool.” He informed her quietly, rapidly blinking back the tears of relief that sprung to his eyes at the fact that he had somehow avoided losing her… Whether to his death or hers. “But I love you for it.” He added with a faint hint of laughter.
His words had not been an accident, nor had they been anything but true – so Kougu wasted no time panicking over them. Instead, he clambered slowly to his feet and rested his hand reassuringly on Charlie’s shoulder for a moment – marvelling at how easily he was able to overcome boundaries that had previously seemed impossible to breach. “I’m fine… I promise.” He assured her – a sincere smile crinkling his eyes this time.
With that, Kougu pulled away and stepped carefully over to his medical cabinet – just as he had done mere minutes before… Before all this had happened. He paused as his long fingers touched gently against the handle, and his eyes swept quickly over the room. It was a disaster scene… Just like all those times before. Another painful memory to add to the list… Yet his victim was alive! Something Charlie had said before flickered through Kougu’s mind at that thought – something he barely remembered hearing, having been so distraught when it had been said. ”You could have killed me. But you didn't. Yes, you tried; but there was obviously something in there that got you to stop before you could kill me completely. Don't you see? You're stronger than you think.” Charlie was right – and not for the first time. How many times since they had met had Charlie managed to prove him wrong? He was not used to being wrong… But boy did he enjoy it! Charlie was right – he was stronger than he had been before, and he could become stronger in future. This time he had managed to avoid the disaster that he had thought he’d known was coming. Something had stayed his hand before the blade had stolen Charlie’s life, and perhaps that ‘something’ could do it again. Yes, this apparently hurricane-struck room would not be another memory to add to the list of horrors running through his head, but a reminder of the one time he had failed to wreak havoc and, in so doing, succeeded in keeping his self.
With these thoughts fresh in his hopeful mind, Kougu gave the tiny handle a light tug, and the cabinet sprung open. His intelligent eyes scanned the small shelves rapidly – mentally gathering everything he would need. Charlie was far more than a fool if she had thought he would see to himself first… Or indeed that he would let her do it. Up until now, he had barely been able to tolerate people standing near to him. Obviously he was not going to allow her to fiddle about around his ribs… Nope, not happening. He had done it himself before and he would do it again. But for now, he was helping Charlie.
Kougu glanced down at his hands then, wincing slightly at the painfully familiar sight of the blood coating them… Shuddering off the thought, he twisted the tap open and quickly washed them clean, then reached out for a pair of medical gloves. He would need them, for with his fingers bleeding as they were – he would not be able to grip anything. He tugged on the gloves, ignoring the pain in his hands and the dull patches of crimson blooming beneath the translucent material. Once he was fully gloved, Kougu let his long fingers dance along the shelves, snatching off everything he’d need. Once he had it, he carried it carefully back over to Charlie, sweeping the glass shards away to clear a patch on the floor before kneeling beside her and setting down his supplies. “Come on.” He encouraged gently. “Let me help you. I won’t be able to relax until I have… And I won’t be dying today – I promise.” He spoke with a firm, yet gentle edge to his kind tone, and it was clear he had no intention whatsoever of listening to her earlier suggestion of sorting himself out first. He was fine… And if he wasn’t he would be. Likely as not, she would be too, but seeing her in pain caused him far more suffering than his own physical wounds. Thus, once again, his selflessness became selfish.
))”No.” That was the first word to leave Charlie’s lips in response to his offer, and for a moment it was the only one he heard. No. Just simply no. No more did she trust him to be around her. No more would she let him try to help her. No more would she accept his friendship – for friendship was what this had become and even he could no longer question that, not even a little. Charlie was not going to let him help her after all – but then what? Would she go in to the hospital after all? If she did, that would simply cement in his mind just how desperate she was to get away from him at that moment, using any means possible. When he had suggested the hospital earlier she had seemed horrified – yet now she was going to that place that she utterly despised simply so she could escape his care… Wait, what?! Had Charlie said anything along those lines? He didn’t think so. This was yet another ‘impossible’ situation, and it was about time he stopped having those now… He needed to think less and listen more, it was that simple. So why didn’t he? Charlie was still speaking, after all… Now was his chance to listen. She was trying to help him, however hopeless that may have been. The least he could do would be to give her a fair chance at attempting the impossible. It took a brave kind of person to take on a mission knowing that it would end in failure, after all… And he did not doubt for a single moment that Charlie’s suit would end in a complete and utter failure. He was beyond help, just as he always had been. He was alone, just as he always had been… Only now he had Charlie. Charlie, who still stood by his side and cared for him even after he had unleashed his beastly loss of control upon her… He may still have been alone in his battle, but he had Charlie with him in reality now – for better or for worse. Perhaps he was wrong… Perhaps it wasn’t that he couldn’t be helped - for nobody else had ever been foolish enough to try to help him anyway – but perhaps it was that he would not allow himself to be helped. He had never looked at it that way before… But now he did, it made sense. It actually made sense! Kougu heard the soft squeaking of glass scratching against tile (Just typing that hurt my ears.
) as his fingers scraped along the glass-ridden floor to meet him palms, forming fists of his hands. Fists that leaked endless rivers of blood as they shook slightly by his sides. Yet they were lightly formed – not clenched in anger or frustration, but loosely grasped, as though they were there simply to hold on to something. Hope. That was what he had found from that brief moment of thought: Hope. It was amazing how simple thought could take him from complete hopeless despair, to feeling his first sparkling of hope in what felt like an eternity – just in a matter of seconds. And if that was the power of thought, who was to say he could not use that to his advantage?! Kougu’s fists clenched tighter in excitement at this point, and blood bubbled sickeningly from between his fingers – acting almost as celebratory champagne for his unexpected discovery. If he could just get his thoughts on the right track, perhaps he would have a chance of controlling this… After all – all the time he had been fighting for Charlie’s freedom back with the police, he had felt it niggling away at him and trying to take control. But his defenses had been strong then, and he had held it off. At first it had been easy, but when the pain had weakened those defenses he had built – it had become a Herculean effort. If that was the case, then it made sense that all he would have to do would be to keep his guard up at all times, and build it so powerfully that nothing could break it down… Not even his painful memories. There was a solution… Not a good one or an unquestionable one, but a solution nonetheless! Perhaps it was only weak and temporary… But he had, to some extent, found a means to crush his greatest problem. Nothing could have elated him more – aside, perhaps, from Charlie’s eternal happiness or something of the sort… Wait – Charlie… She was still there, he had almost forgotten. Wait – no. That wasn’t true… All this thinking had actually, to some extent, included her. He couldn’t do this alone after all… He simply wasn’t strong enough. But somehow, with Charlie by his side, it felt like anything was possible. She had offered to help him and perhaps she could after all – simply by being herself. This shocking thought stopped Kougu in his tracks, for he had just realized, for the first time, exactly how deep his affection for Charlie stemmed. He really did care about her… He had hardly even known. In fact, he cared about her so much that he was relieved that he might be able to evade death, because it meant that Charlie would not have to suffer the inconveniences of dealing with all the problems he left over. And, though he would never admit it – even to himself, because it meant he would get to spend just a little more time with her… For every moment in Charlie’s company were precious to him – ever these now – sitting on a glass-ridden floor with blood oozing from them both and death in the air. He treasured every moment. Of course, it made sense. Before Charlie, he had been alone, hopeless, broken and completely without anything worth living for. Charlie had taken all that away like a magician with the sweep of a hat. While he had always had a reason to stay alive, Charlie had given him a reason to live. She was, without doubt, the top priority in his life… And he would do anything for her – literally.
At this thought, Kougu glanced down at his lightly clenched fists – still shaking slightly in the pools of blood they had created. He had almost acted in contrast to those final words… When he had held that shard of mirror to his throat, and Charlie had asked him to stop, he almost hadn’t. It was ironic, really… The only thing he had almost been unwilling to do for her, was to live… The very thing that she had given him reason to do. Well… He would do that now. He could do that now, if Charlie would still help him. And this time – this time he was not going to underestimate her. He knew that she would, and that she wanted to, because he knew that she was a kinder and greater person, not to mention more selfless, than he would ever be… She just didn’t see it yet. Perhaps one day he would manage to show her… But until then…
Kougu slowly let his dark gaze flicker upwards, locking his masked eyes on Charlie’s face. There was no more defeat slumping his shoulders – no more feeble wobble to his chin. He had hope now, and with it – determination. He would not fail. For Charlie – he would fix himself. Refocusing his thoughts, Kougu let his eyes dart quickly over Charlie’s angelic face, and when he saw her subtle smile he felt a sudden burst of relieved delight. He dropped his head down again, his dark, bloodsoaked fringe falling down over his eyes as a slight smile curved his own lips and he chuckled ever so slightly. Her words began to come back to him then: Words he had not quite listened to at the time they were spoken, but that he had committed to memory to consult later on – like now. ” “No. No, don't you worry about me just yet. Get yourself sorted out first. Goodness knows what vital organs you've hit in there.”
Ah, so that was what the ‘no’ was about in the first place… But wait – time to focus – she was speaking again now. Kougu’s gaze darted upwards, and his innocent dark eyes gazed at her attentively as she spoke – making it clear that he was now ready to listen to every word. “Anyway, how do I know you won't kill yourself once you've sorted me out? Yes, that's right. This one time, I actually don't trust you. I don't trust that you will keep yourself alive once you know I'm in no danger of dying myself. I can't let you go, no matter what you tried to do to me. I care about you... Whether you like it or not.”
At these words, a warm glow spread though him – a feeling he was somewhat ashamed of, since he knew he didn’t deserve it… Yet once which he appreciated all the same. She did care… She did care after all, and though he resented that fact, he was also hugely glad of it – in some strange, twisted way. “Charlie…” He began quietly, but before he could make his voice heard, she had begun speaking again. “Come on… Tell me what you need to sort out your wounds and I'll get it for you. How does that sound?” Kougu lowered his head again at this thought, shaking it slightly from side to side in fond incredulity. A whispered chuckle escaped his lips, and then he glanced back at Charlie – the slightest shadow of a smile on a face that suddenly seemed more his own. “You’re a fool.” He informed her quietly, rapidly blinking back the tears of relief that sprung to his eyes at the fact that he had somehow avoided losing her… Whether to his death or hers. “But I love you for it.” He added with a faint hint of laughter.
His words had not been an accident, nor had they been anything but true – so Kougu wasted no time panicking over them. Instead, he clambered slowly to his feet and rested his hand reassuringly on Charlie’s shoulder for a moment – marvelling at how easily he was able to overcome boundaries that had previously seemed impossible to breach. “I’m fine… I promise.” He assured her – a sincere smile crinkling his eyes this time.
With that, Kougu pulled away and stepped carefully over to his medical cabinet – just as he had done mere minutes before… Before all this had happened. He paused as his long fingers touched gently against the handle, and his eyes swept quickly over the room. It was a disaster scene… Just like all those times before. Another painful memory to add to the list… Yet his victim was alive! Something Charlie had said before flickered through Kougu’s mind at that thought – something he barely remembered hearing, having been so distraught when it had been said. ”You could have killed me. But you didn't. Yes, you tried; but there was obviously something in there that got you to stop before you could kill me completely. Don't you see? You're stronger than you think.” Charlie was right – and not for the first time. How many times since they had met had Charlie managed to prove him wrong? He was not used to being wrong… But boy did he enjoy it! Charlie was right – he was stronger than he had been before, and he could become stronger in future. This time he had managed to avoid the disaster that he had thought he’d known was coming. Something had stayed his hand before the blade had stolen Charlie’s life, and perhaps that ‘something’ could do it again. Yes, this apparently hurricane-struck room would not be another memory to add to the list of horrors running through his head, but a reminder of the one time he had failed to wreak havoc and, in so doing, succeeded in keeping his self.
With these thoughts fresh in his hopeful mind, Kougu gave the tiny handle a light tug, and the cabinet sprung open. His intelligent eyes scanned the small shelves rapidly – mentally gathering everything he would need. Charlie was far more than a fool if she had thought he would see to himself first… Or indeed that he would let her do it. Up until now, he had barely been able to tolerate people standing near to him. Obviously he was not going to allow her to fiddle about around his ribs… Nope, not happening. He had done it himself before and he would do it again. But for now, he was helping Charlie.
Kougu glanced down at his hands then, wincing slightly at the painfully familiar sight of the blood coating them… Shuddering off the thought, he twisted the tap open and quickly washed them clean, then reached out for a pair of medical gloves. He would need them, for with his fingers bleeding as they were – he would not be able to grip anything. He tugged on the gloves, ignoring the pain in his hands and the dull patches of crimson blooming beneath the translucent material. Once he was fully gloved, Kougu let his long fingers dance along the shelves, snatching off everything he’d need. Once he had it, he carried it carefully back over to Charlie, sweeping the glass shards away to clear a patch on the floor before kneeling beside her and setting down his supplies. “Come on.” He encouraged gently. “Let me help you. I won’t be able to relax until I have… And I won’t be dying today – I promise.” He spoke with a firm, yet gentle edge to his kind tone, and it was clear he had no intention whatsoever of listening to her earlier suggestion of sorting himself out first. He was fine… And if he wasn’t he would be. Likely as not, she would be too, but seeing her in pain caused him far more suffering than his own physical wounds. Thus, once again, his selflessness became selfish.
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:31 pm
(Erm...okay then )
)
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Polo trapped in an inkpot Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:14 pm
((Ignore - it's happening to everybody's RPs... 
Some form of spam...? 
))
Some form of spam...? ))
Polo trapped in an inkpot- Posts : 8695
Join date : 2010-04-14
Age : 29
Location : With the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head...
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Mon Oct 11, 2010 3:27 pm
((Goodness knows, I don't get it anyway 
))
))
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
Re: Polo! (how many RPs do you do at any one time? xD)
Dreambug Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:33 pm
“You're a fool” The words haunted my mind several times over until I could digest them fully. Did he just say that? That I was a fool? Charming! Okay, admittedly it was true. I mean, I had just gone and saved the life of my about-to-be murderer. Why would anyone do that? Why did I do that? Why did I save Kougu's life after he'd threatened mine so many times? Well, I knew the answer to that. It was because I cared about him; but I couldn't fathom for the likes of me why. Was it that easy to become attached to someone after just a couple of days? Ugh... Why was everything so questionable? Why didn't I know the answers? Was it because I had no education? The brains of a ten-year-old? Why? Why... why, why, why?? Damn it! What was my point, again? I can't remember... My glassy eyes reached Kougu's face as his words hit home and I stared at him, my sparkling emerald eyes narrowing at his statement - which was what it was, even I couldn't disagree with him. It wasn't a comment, a question, but a simple fact of life. I was a fool, I did foolish things. But he didn't have to say it. Feeling the frustration build up inside me, I clenched my teeth, holding back any snappy comments I was likely to shoot back in response to his words... although I didn't really know why they were bothering me so; it may have been because I'd heard them being spoken out loud, or the fact that we both knew they were completely true. I watched in annoyance as Kougu's lips parted and he began to chuckle quietly to himself, his sleek-black hair gently swaying from side to side as his head shook – if his hair wasn't so long and free his amusement would be far more subtle, but of course, being the way it was even though it could hide his features, it didn't seem to do too much of a good job hiding the amusement in his expression. He's laughing at me... My cheeks flushed slightly as my bottom lip slid beneath my teeth as I bit it awkwardly, feeling the confidence I'd had just a second ago drain from my system almost as quickly as it came. He's laughing at me... Was that all he had to sa-...well, do? Laugh at me? I was trying to help him, here... If he was expecting me to keep being nice to me now, after how he'd treated me, he could forget it. I rolled my eyes at my own stupid thoughts. He'd just tried to kill me...twice... and yet, it was only now he was really hurting my feelings? Now, that... that was questionable. That was something I truly didn't understand. It was annoying, really, as it was the one thing no one could help me with. Talk about frustrating! I noticed faint flashes of white beneath Kougu's thick black fringe around where his eyes were, noticing... Wait, was he crying? Had I upset him? Oh great, it was that wasn't it? “Kougu, I-” It was no use, he'd just practically confirmed he was trying not to let the tears fall, I could see his eyelashes fluttering over his sparkly midnight eyes. I couldn't find the words to say to make it better... Wait, what? Why was I trying to make him feel better? He'd just been laughing at me...
“But I love you for it”
Oh.
Oh right.
I stared at him blankly, as if all my knowledge had been swiped from my brain and I'd just forgotten who I was, where I was, who Kougu was. Everything just...stood still. Had that been why he was laughing? Why he'd been crying? Oh God... I'd never seen him this emotional, not since he'd tried to kill me. He'd laughed with me, he'd smiled with me, he'd faced danger with me, but he'd never cried. He'd never, ever cried since I'd met him. In fact, just looking at him made me want to sob again. Of course, he'd calmed down since he'd got over what he'd tried to do. I was grateful, really. I didn't really want him seeing me cry so much, especially when I was supposed to be the 'sanest' of the two of us. Besides, I was only the victim of Kougu's actions, there was merely nothing more damage past the physically obvious with me, but Kougu on the other hand, that was debatable. Judging from his expression, Kougu seemed to have done more damage to himself, mentally and physically, than he had done to me. I couldn't even bring myself to imagine what he must have been going through, especially after he'd tried to kill himself. I know I would struggle holding onto my will to live if I'd tried to kill my one and only friend for no other reason than that I was hating; hating myself, hating my past... my present, my future. Hating the ones whom I cared for most for making me feel so mad with myself. I wouldn't be able to go through it alone, either.
But Kougu wasn't alone, was he? That was why I was there, to give him a chance to live again. No murderer's life value is lessened due to his actions, as what more is life than a single heartbeat, a single breath, a single blink of an eye? It doesn't matter what you do with your life, who you hurt, maim or kill. The physicality of life is the same for everyone. Just because Kougu had tried to kill me, just because he'd almost succeeded, my heart was still beating. So was his. We were both alive we were both, to an extent, well. And (xD) you know what? That was good enough for me.
“I'm fine...I promise” The words set a wave of relief to flood through me, and I suddenly found my whole body, which had been previously tensed almost enough so it had been shaking from all the strength that had been needed simply to keep me sat upright, slacken dramatically as I slumped beside him on the ice-cold kitchen wall. My head rolled over to look at him, how he had reacted to my little speech, to notice that he was smiling. He was genuinely smiling. Not in amusement, and showing no mockery of any sort. He was, in fact, happy. His dark eyes, once shadowed with a boiling hatred, were now sparkling with life once again – a sign that he was going to keep his promise, that I didn't have to worry about him committing suicide anymore. Thank goodness.. I thought with a tiny sigh of relief, tiredly mirroring him expression. I've persuaded him. How hard had that been? Trying to persuade a murderous madman that his life was worth living, even after he'd just made an attempt on his friend's life? And (xD) don't get me wrong, I'm no Einstein. Yet I'd still managed it without even having to beg? Well, I had, sort of. But... Well... But wait, he was on his feet now. It took me a moment or two to realise he had been for the past minute or so. How could I not have noticed? Perhaps I had been more tired than I'd first thought. I watched in a daze as he pulled himself to his feet and stride to the cabinet under the sink, the cabinet which I knew now as the medicine cabinet. His fingers wrapped around the elegant silver handle, and he seemed to hesitate for a moment, then yank the door open. It might have been a moment to think, perhaps a moment to plan how he was going to sort out his wounds? As the cupboard door opened to reveal it's medical contents, there was a faint rattling and continuous muffled sounds as Kougu gathered whatever materials he'd need for fixing his wounds before heading to the sink with a pair of white rubber gloves. Strange... I thought with a frown, watching him curiously. He was wearing the same type of gloves you could find in a public hospital. Why was he wearing gloves if he was fixing himself up? Surely he didn't need them. Surely... Before I knew it, he was back again, clearing a space on the floor beside me as he sank to his knees, all his drugs and remedies at hand. Oh great, so it was me he was going to fix, now? Well, he'd better be a good doctor, since I'd had enough go wrong for me to add any more, especially if he bled himself unconscious right in front of me. I wasn't like him, I wouldn't know what the hell to do with myself, never mind him. I'd probably panic, scream, run round in circles, possibly cause more damage to myself than to him. Yeah, I'd be about as much help as a hyper monkey after it's overdose on E-numbers. So really, in short, I was useless. I could steal, I could run, and I could chant my 2 and 3 times tables. That's it. How's that for helpful? “Let me help you. I won’t be able to relax until I have… And I won’t be dying today – I promise” My head cocked to one side, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion. He didn't look like he was lying, but I couldn't get my gullibility take over me now. I wasn't going to lose him. Simple as that. “Yeah, you'd better not” I answered, a tiny smile creeping upon my face. “I didn't get all emotional on you for nothing. Anyway, do I have a choice? Go on, I'll let you, but if anything happens to you in the process, if you drop dead, I'm personally holding you responsible. In fact, scrap that. If you drop dead, I'll kill you.” I knew it wasn't anything to tease someone about, but I had to say something to lighten the tension that had forever lingered in the room since we'd walked in. Besides, he'd know I was kidding. I wouldn't even dream of killing him, no matter how badly he tried to hurt me. Besides, I was smiling honestly now, my eyes lightened up as I watched him beside me, letting out a long, tired sigh. My eyes trailed aimlessly around the shattered room, taking in every blade of glass laying silently on the crystal white tiles, each bead of dried blood splattered over the floor, the light shining in dimly through the tiny window beside the toilet seat, hinting that the late after noon was catching up on them. Another day nearly over already. Another day I knew Kougu, and yet I'd learned far more about him that day than any of the other days we'd known each other. Still, it was fascinating how much you could learn about a person in such little time. My eyes trailed down to a small black object standing out in the shadows of the room, lying beside a couple of stray grains of broken glass near the toilet seat. My brow furrowed. It was Kougu's gun. When had he put that down? I couldn't even remember. I'd never noticed. “I guess the gun might have been... kind of handy if I'd used it sooner, might it?” I muttered weakly, really more to myself than anyone else. “Still, I probably wouldn't have had the head to use it, even if I had had it with me” My shoulders twitched upwards for a second, before dropping back down into their exhausted slump, resting back on the wall behind me. My lips pressed lightly together as I looked back at the light peeking in from the window, and began to hum a soft tune out loud to myself. It was one of my father's favourite songs, one of the top five of his playlist, I believe - Honestly, don't ask how I know that, I just do. It's one of those things you pick up as a child whilst you're out irritating your little brother. When you pass it you pick it up, even when you don't mean to. I had a thing for ear-wigging. Swaying my head gently from side to side to the gentle rhythm, I gazed tiredly out at the sun as it hid behind a thick white cloud, flying by like a giant dove on it's way to find Noah's Ark (Sorry, I know it's bible-related. It was the only simile I could think of to do with a dove ) Sub-consciously my lips parted, and softly, just like back when I was a toddler, I began to sing.
So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive and well
It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smoulders in the rain
But not me, I'm alive
And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
I'm alive and well
Stars are dancin' on the water here tonight
It's good for the soul when there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I'm alive and well
And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
Now I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well
I'm alive...
Suddenly, I felt my jaw stretch open as I let out a huge, cat-like yawn. Wow, singing was tiring. Or was it my lack of sleep? I hadn't exactly had enough, really. I hadn't had a decent night sleep in just under a week. “...and well” I finished dazedly, wiping my glassy eyes from the wetness that had gathered up from not blinking from so long. I had to stay awake, I had to make sure Kougu was going to keep himself alive for at least another day. I scrunched my eyes closed as my eyelids drooped over my eyes, forcing the moisture to trickle back into the lenses. Stay awake... Stay awake, Goddamn it! Stay... Awake...
“But I love you for it”
Oh.
Oh right.
I stared at him blankly, as if all my knowledge had been swiped from my brain and I'd just forgotten who I was, where I was, who Kougu was. Everything just...stood still. Had that been why he was laughing? Why he'd been crying? Oh God... I'd never seen him this emotional, not since he'd tried to kill me. He'd laughed with me, he'd smiled with me, he'd faced danger with me, but he'd never cried. He'd never, ever cried since I'd met him. In fact, just looking at him made me want to sob again. Of course, he'd calmed down since he'd got over what he'd tried to do. I was grateful, really. I didn't really want him seeing me cry so much, especially when I was supposed to be the 'sanest' of the two of us. Besides, I was only the victim of Kougu's actions, there was merely nothing more damage past the physically obvious with me, but Kougu on the other hand, that was debatable. Judging from his expression, Kougu seemed to have done more damage to himself, mentally and physically, than he had done to me. I couldn't even bring myself to imagine what he must have been going through, especially after he'd tried to kill himself. I know I would struggle holding onto my will to live if I'd tried to kill my one and only friend for no other reason than that I was hating; hating myself, hating my past... my present, my future. Hating the ones whom I cared for most for making me feel so mad with myself. I wouldn't be able to go through it alone, either.
But Kougu wasn't alone, was he? That was why I was there, to give him a chance to live again. No murderer's life value is lessened due to his actions, as what more is life than a single heartbeat, a single breath, a single blink of an eye? It doesn't matter what you do with your life, who you hurt, maim or kill. The physicality of life is the same for everyone. Just because Kougu had tried to kill me, just because he'd almost succeeded, my heart was still beating. So was his. We were both alive we were both, to an extent, well. And (xD) you know what? That was good enough for me.
“I'm fine...I promise” The words set a wave of relief to flood through me, and I suddenly found my whole body, which had been previously tensed almost enough so it had been shaking from all the strength that had been needed simply to keep me sat upright, slacken dramatically as I slumped beside him on the ice-cold kitchen wall. My head rolled over to look at him, how he had reacted to my little speech, to notice that he was smiling. He was genuinely smiling. Not in amusement, and showing no mockery of any sort. He was, in fact, happy. His dark eyes, once shadowed with a boiling hatred, were now sparkling with life once again – a sign that he was going to keep his promise, that I didn't have to worry about him committing suicide anymore. Thank goodness.. I thought with a tiny sigh of relief, tiredly mirroring him expression. I've persuaded him. How hard had that been? Trying to persuade a murderous madman that his life was worth living, even after he'd just made an attempt on his friend's life? And (xD) don't get me wrong, I'm no Einstein. Yet I'd still managed it without even having to beg? Well, I had, sort of. But... Well... But wait, he was on his feet now. It took me a moment or two to realise he had been for the past minute or so. How could I not have noticed? Perhaps I had been more tired than I'd first thought. I watched in a daze as he pulled himself to his feet and stride to the cabinet under the sink, the cabinet which I knew now as the medicine cabinet. His fingers wrapped around the elegant silver handle, and he seemed to hesitate for a moment, then yank the door open. It might have been a moment to think, perhaps a moment to plan how he was going to sort out his wounds? As the cupboard door opened to reveal it's medical contents, there was a faint rattling and continuous muffled sounds as Kougu gathered whatever materials he'd need for fixing his wounds before heading to the sink with a pair of white rubber gloves. Strange... I thought with a frown, watching him curiously. He was wearing the same type of gloves you could find in a public hospital. Why was he wearing gloves if he was fixing himself up? Surely he didn't need them. Surely... Before I knew it, he was back again, clearing a space on the floor beside me as he sank to his knees, all his drugs and remedies at hand. Oh great, so it was me he was going to fix, now? Well, he'd better be a good doctor, since I'd had enough go wrong for me to add any more, especially if he bled himself unconscious right in front of me. I wasn't like him, I wouldn't know what the hell to do with myself, never mind him. I'd probably panic, scream, run round in circles, possibly cause more damage to myself than to him. Yeah, I'd be about as much help as a hyper monkey after it's overdose on E-numbers. So really, in short, I was useless. I could steal, I could run, and I could chant my 2 and 3 times tables. That's it. How's that for helpful? “Let me help you. I won’t be able to relax until I have… And I won’t be dying today – I promise” My head cocked to one side, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion. He didn't look like he was lying, but I couldn't get my gullibility take over me now. I wasn't going to lose him. Simple as that. “Yeah, you'd better not” I answered, a tiny smile creeping upon my face. “I didn't get all emotional on you for nothing. Anyway, do I have a choice? Go on, I'll let you, but if anything happens to you in the process, if you drop dead, I'm personally holding you responsible. In fact, scrap that. If you drop dead, I'll kill you.” I knew it wasn't anything to tease someone about, but I had to say something to lighten the tension that had forever lingered in the room since we'd walked in. Besides, he'd know I was kidding. I wouldn't even dream of killing him, no matter how badly he tried to hurt me. Besides, I was smiling honestly now, my eyes lightened up as I watched him beside me, letting out a long, tired sigh. My eyes trailed aimlessly around the shattered room, taking in every blade of glass laying silently on the crystal white tiles, each bead of dried blood splattered over the floor, the light shining in dimly through the tiny window beside the toilet seat, hinting that the late after noon was catching up on them. Another day nearly over already. Another day I knew Kougu, and yet I'd learned far more about him that day than any of the other days we'd known each other. Still, it was fascinating how much you could learn about a person in such little time. My eyes trailed down to a small black object standing out in the shadows of the room, lying beside a couple of stray grains of broken glass near the toilet seat. My brow furrowed. It was Kougu's gun. When had he put that down? I couldn't even remember. I'd never noticed. “I guess the gun might have been... kind of handy if I'd used it sooner, might it?” I muttered weakly, really more to myself than anyone else. “Still, I probably wouldn't have had the head to use it, even if I had had it with me” My shoulders twitched upwards for a second, before dropping back down into their exhausted slump, resting back on the wall behind me. My lips pressed lightly together as I looked back at the light peeking in from the window, and began to hum a soft tune out loud to myself. It was one of my father's favourite songs, one of the top five of his playlist, I believe - Honestly, don't ask how I know that, I just do. It's one of those things you pick up as a child whilst you're out irritating your little brother. When you pass it you pick it up, even when you don't mean to. I had a thing for ear-wigging. Swaying my head gently from side to side to the gentle rhythm, I gazed tiredly out at the sun as it hid behind a thick white cloud, flying by like a giant dove on it's way to find Noah's Ark (Sorry, I know it's bible-related. It was the only simile I could think of to do with a dove
) Sub-consciously my lips parted, and softly, just like back when I was a toddler, I began to sing.So damn easy to say that life's so hard
Everybody's got their share of battle scars
As for me, I'd like to thank my lucky stars
That I'm alive and well
It'd be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
Dwell on the wreckage as it smoulders in the rain
But not me, I'm alive
And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathin' in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
And I'm alive and well
I'm alive and well
Stars are dancin' on the water here tonight
It's good for the soul when there's not a soul in sight
This boat has caught its wind and brought me back to life
Now I'm alive and well
And today you know that's good enough for me
Breathing in and out's a blessing, can't you see?
Today's the first day of the rest of my life
Now I'm alive and well
Yeah, I'm alive and well
I'm alive...
Suddenly, I felt my jaw stretch open as I let out a huge, cat-like yawn. Wow, singing was tiring. Or was it my lack of sleep? I hadn't exactly had enough, really. I hadn't had a decent night sleep in just under a week. “...and well” I finished dazedly, wiping my glassy eyes from the wetness that had gathered up from not blinking from so long. I had to stay awake, I had to make sure Kougu was going to keep himself alive for at least another day. I scrunched my eyes closed as my eyelids drooped over my eyes, forcing the moisture to trickle back into the lenses. Stay awake... Stay awake, Goddamn it! Stay... Awake...
Dreambug- Posts : 3511
Join date : 2010-06-18
Age : 28
Location : Nomming teddy with baby Gaara. <3
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